Help me to become disarmingly (fill in the blank)
February 10, 2009 5:29 PM Subscribe
Some people have this mysterious ability to be - disarming
. Please explain this skill and help me learn it!
posted by kitcat to Human Relations (26 answers total) 195 users marked this as a favorite
Disarmingly funny, disarmingly beautiful, disarmingly friendly, disarmingly simple. What does it all mean?
The dictionary definitions of disarming (in this context) give something along the lines of "eliciting positive favor." But that begs futher explanation as far as I'm concerned. Here's a senario. The other day a woman I barely know described my personality in one short phrase. She was accurate. It was unpleasant for me to hear, even though the description would not be considered negative by most. Nevertheless, my internal reaction skipped from shock and dismay straight to utter admiration and I, a person who typically freezes up around others, suddenly wanted to spill my guts to her about anything and everything. ????? How did she do that? I suppose you'd say that she'd been "disarmingly frank."
The point: I want to learn the mechanisms behind 'social' disarmament. My goal here is NOT to trick people into liking me. Rather, I'd like to learn how to 'cut to the quick' in an ethical way. I think learning this could accomplish a lot towards creating deeper relationships with other people. Especially the ones who, like me, are pretty reserved in their interactions.
If you think you understand what's going on here, please explain. And is this a skill I can learn?