What NOT to do in London?

February 9, 2009 11:20 AM

Mr. Uauagè and I are going for a weekend to London. We want to make the most of it. Can you point out what to avoid wasting time on?

This will be the first trip after our 2-year-old was born, and the last one before our new baby arrives in May. We want to enjoy good restaurants, good modern art, maybe an evening at a concert or theater, but we want to avoid coming back saying: this or that was a disappointment. Also, since I'll be 8 months pregnant I would like to avoid walking-too-much-for-nothing-special.

posted by uauage to Travel & Transportation around London, England (15 answers total)

When will you be there?
posted by Lotto at 11:32 AM on February 9, 2009

Oxford Street. Also, Oxford Street. Did I mention Oxford Street? There's no need to go anywhere near Oxford Street, despite its reputation as the centre of London shopping.

Obviously, the Planetarium and Madame Tussaud's, but you knew that.

Apart from that, I'd simply follow the rule of not going into the West End except with a goal in mind. So for example, go see your theatre show, but don't wander around "Theatreland".
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 11:34 AM on February 9, 2009

Response by poster: Lotto, we'll be there from the 13th to the 16th of march.
posted by uauage at 11:36 AM on February 9, 2009

Are you taking your 2 year old? That may change some advice.

I'd skip Buckingham Palace (really, I would). Also, Harrod's which isn't all that.
posted by 26.2 at 12:35 PM on February 9, 2009

The Tower of London is mildly interesting for the huge ravens wandering around, but I found the Crown Jewels a waste of time. All you learn is how to say "that can't be real" in a variety of languages.
posted by zadcat at 12:36 PM on February 9, 2009

Response by poster: Sorry, my question lacked some info: No, the 2-year-old will stay with my in-laws. Also, I've never been to London before.
posted by uauage at 12:38 PM on February 9, 2009

Your question is a bit unclear. The list of things not to do in London is fairly enormous. Presumably, you mean: From a list like this, which ones arent worth it? And I'd answer:

The London Eye
Its overpriced, long lines for a short ride in which you stand in an elevator-like capsule with a bunch of strangers peering out through dirty glass at a view which isn't that great, really.

Madame Tussauds
Tourist trap.

The Tower of London
Not much to actually do in there. Touristy, overpriced. London is already full of historic architecture if you know where to look. Exception: crown jewels if thats your thing. It isnt mine.

National Maritime Museum
Getting to anything in Greenwich is a HUGE pain in the ass.
posted by vacapinta at 12:53 PM on February 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

We want to enjoy good restaurants, good modern art, maybe an evening at a concert or theater

So, to turn your question around, you definitely want to go to the Tate Modern of an early evening (maybe on the Friday or Saturday when it's open until 22:00) and follow it up with a trip to the Globe theatre, which is just a short walk away.

And if you think Oxford Street is bad, wait until you see Leicester Square. Unless you want to see a film at the Prince Charles.
posted by tapeguy at 1:32 PM on February 9, 2009

Tate Britain unless you like Francis Bacon or Turner. As an american art critic put it, it's a provincial museum and british art is not that exciting. Plus, it's in a part of the city where there isn't much more around to see.

Covent Garden piazza - tourist trap hell during the day, lame "street performers" included; drunk locals on friday and saturday nights.

The Wallace Collection unless you're crazy about old armours and rococo painting and decoration.

The Museum of London is being refurbished and it only features exhibits up until the great fire. I find it a bit too children oriented.

The V&A involves a lot of walking. Don't get me wrong, it's an interesting museum but you might want to research in advance which sections you want to see since they have rooms and rooms full of silverware or miniature portraits or cups and saucers or examples of metalwork. The cafeteria is not to be missed though.

The Big Bus tours (18 pounds for two days plus access to tourist trap freebies). It's pretty easy to find regular buses that have similar routes and the daily cap is 3 pounds 30 pence if you use your Oyster card. The only thing going for the touristy ones is that they are open-top. But the London weather will probably make it look less exciting.
posted by lucia__is__dada at 1:48 PM on February 9, 2009

Best answer: As everyone says, avoid Madame Tussauds, the Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, Oxford Street (anything that's conspicuously a shopping area, really, including Covent Garden), etc. Plus probably the zoo and the aquarium; they're, you know, a zoo and an aquarium, and they're fine, but there's nothing special to set them apart from any other nice zoo or aquarium. Also avoid the London Dungeons and Tower Bridge Experience - though if you're walking by them anyway you usually get to see someone dressed up as a corpse or ghost or monster, on a tea break, leaning against a wall, smoking or talking grumpily on a mobile phone.

There's enough things to do in London that I would say don't-do-this advice can be generalised to:
• don't pay more than £10 to get into anything, it's probably a bit of a tourist trap (this covers most of the stuff listed in my first paragraph, plus the London Eye and some other bits and pieces);
• don't go to any areas where you only have one specific thing you want to do or see (so, don't go out to Hampton Court Palace, or Kew Gardens, or Eltham Palace, or the Maritime Museum unless there's other stuff you want to do in Greenwich, or - probably - Tate Britain).
• unless you really want to.

There are many, many areas where the interesting stuff is concentrated very densely - the South Bank takes in Tate Modern, the Globe, the National Theatre, the BFI, the Eye, the Hayward Gallery, and a pile of other little bits and pieces in maybe half an hour's walk along the river. Kensington has the V&A, the Science Museum, and the Natural History Museum, plus sciencey events at the Dana Centre, Hyde Park, the Kensington Roof Gardens, etc, similarly pretty closely clustered. Euston area you get the Wellcome Centre, the British Library, the tiny but charming Grant Museum of Zoology, Jeremy Bentham's skeleton with a wax head on top, etc. There are loads of these clusters around, so identify some that appeal, and stay away from anything where you would be going just to see that thing.
posted by severalbees at 2:08 PM on February 9, 2009 [5 favorites]

One time a native of London told me (on my last day there, of course) to "avoid any pub that is situated next to a Tube station exit, as they are most definitely tourist traps and rip offs."

Now my advice would be more helpful if I had some pubs to recommend but I don't. London is full of tourist traps it's irritating so it's always good to know where they're lurking.

I'm nthing the Tate Modern as a place to go, it was the highlight of my trip and a good place to sit and rest after a day of non-stop walking.
posted by dearest at 3:33 PM on February 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

Odd, that. I read the question and the very first thing that sprang to mind to avoid was the Tate Modern. It's an interesting building, but the gallery itself is a disaster of a design. As soon as it gets even moderately busy there are crowds of people hanging off the edge of the too-cramped staircases which lead between the too-narrow spaces.

Go see the South Bank from Westminster all the way along to Rotherhithe. Catch the wobbly bridge outside the gallery. Have a shufty around the Tate Modern building -- you can see the big hall for nothing. But I'd skip the gallery, myself.

Also for the bin list: Portobello Road market (a trustafarian-stuffed shithole).
posted by genghis at 6:13 PM on February 9, 2009

Not exactly what you were looking for but I saw this bottom ten list today and remembered this question. Oxford Street and Buckingham Palace make the list. Mme. Tussards was probably too obvious for a list that includes even the weather. I've seen the wax and I still want my $60 back...
posted by the christopher hundreds at 12:40 PM on February 10, 2009

I'm going to make a counter-recommendation -- if you or your husband are into history, the Tower of London is fantastic. Do one of the tours with the Beefeaters; I agree that you can skip the Crown Jewels. The tours, however, are amazing and quite funny in their own way.
posted by fantine at 7:25 AM on February 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

I agree with the non-recommendation of Tussauds and even more with those saying don't go to the London Dungeon - loathsome, repulsive, badly pointless. Can't agree re the London Eye - on a good or goodish day the views can be excellent. The Monument is surprisingly good too and you get a great cardiovascular workout climbing up and (istr) a certificate to prove you survived it.

Oh, and skip some of the more famous churches and see St Bartholomew the Great in Smithfield - a really amazing church.

If you want to see Westminster Abbey and can sit through a service, go to Choral Evensong. MUCH better than coughing up X quid to go round as a tourist. You see fewer bits and famous people's tombs and stuff, but you experience the church doing what they put it there for - which, even if you are not religious, is cool.
posted by vogel at 12:12 PM on February 22, 2009