How do you feel good about yourself?
February 2, 2009 4:21 PM Subscribe
How do you not allow your self-worth to be a function of what other people think of you, but rather what you think of yourself?
posted by althanis to human relations (20 answers total) 39 users marked this as a favorite
This is something I have always had a hard time doing. I guess it must be down to self esteem issues. It took me a long time to get a girlfriend, and both major relationships ended terribly.
I usually feel very good when I'm in a relationship. Or even the times when I was single (and am right now), I have found that the times I feel best is usually when I have the attention of someone of the opposite sex. When that attention ends, for whatever reason, I feel very sad and lonely and reminisce about what it used to be like to have someone.
In the worst case scenario, that person could make or break my day just by how they speak or react to me, in a good way or a negative way, whether they call or don't call.
I realize that this is a problem. I have many things going for me, opportunities that my parents never dreamt of having for themselves, I'm going to graduate school in another country, I do very well and I think I'm reasonably good-looking, nothing spectacular.
In an effort to try to overcome this, I have tried to act more self-confident, however I believe I might be coming across as arrogant. Is it okay to be arrogant about yourself, rather than to put yourself out there and just getting hurt again? I realize at this point I have probably digressed.
Any tips or advice for how you guys feel good about yourself just by internal forces, and blocking out bad external forces would be appreciated.