How do I look 32 when I am actually 37?

January 29, 2009 2:14 PM

How can I look 32 when I am actually 37? I am MALE and about to go on a bunch of interviews for a job where the ideal entry age is 32 in an industry that is *very* age conscious and age discriminatory (it's TV staff writing, fyi). I am 37 and want to register more like 32/33 when I walk into the room... can anyone suggest a comprehensive "look 5 years younger" makeover?

The biggest thing I am curious about is what skin-related strategies people recommend. I am already planning on dying my hair to hide grey, making sure my hair style and wardrobe say 32, lose the extra 10 lbs I am carrying right now.

I would say my skin looks my age... 37. Should I microderm? Botox? OTC creams?

I should say that I only need this to be temporary... just for the interviews... once I have the job I won't worry about it -- and I don't plan on lying about my age later... just want to register younger than I am in the interview.

posted by anonymous to clothing, beauty, & fashion (38 comments total)

Wow. Are you sure you're not obsessing over 5 years just a little bit? I know, the economy sucks, it's competitive out there, but come on... I just want to give you a hug and tell you not to stress the small crap. Can't you let your skills, abilities, knowledge speak for themselves?

Think Jon Stewart. He's hot and he has grey hair. And he's older than 33. Have I mentioned he's hot?

Anyway, since you asked and I guess you are being serious:

Get plenty of sleep, drink water, don't eat crap, do a detox of sorts? That should help with the skin. Give yourself a few weeks to do it, and I'm assuming you have a few weeks since you mention losing 10 lbs.

And please don't do botox.
posted by ttyn at 2:21 PM on January 29

Take up a physical activity that will increase your agility and balance. This will have a subtle but important effect on the way you move when you walk, stand, sit, etc. It will also help you lose the pounds, and will probably lead to you being just slightly more alert and focused.
posted by amtho at 2:23 PM on January 29 [3 favorites]

As long as you're wearing flattering clothes, I think it's more important not to do/say anything that dates you, rather than emergency face-altering techniques. Remember, good posture.
posted by hermitosis at 2:23 PM on January 29

Botox doesn't make you look younger unless you've never seen it before. It makes you look botoxed to anyone who reads People or its literary ilk.

I would suggest it has to do with clothes mostly. 32 and 37 are really not that different. Also, make sure you're up on whatever's hot on TV with the group you're interviewing with. The major difference I See between "old" people and "young" people is that young people watch more TV and different shows. I have a 37 year-old friend who comes off as about 24 because that guy has every episode of the last few seasons of The Simpsons, South Park, etc memorized.
posted by GuyZero at 2:25 PM on January 29

Wow... I had no idea TV staff writing was age-conscious.

One thing that could help is listening to how (real, not TV-) people in their late 20's talk, and emulating their cadence and colloquialisms. (Utilize the latter sparingly, though.)

In my experience, much of a sense of someone's age comes from how they carry themselves and the authority they command with words and gestures.
posted by Robson at 2:27 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]

Get some sun/ color. If you look outdoorsy- some wrinkles will register more as sun/ activity-related rather than age-related.

Botox, if done poorly, can actually have the effect that you look your age, only with freakishly smooth and frozen skin. I wouldn't take the chance.

If you visit a cosmentic dermatologist he/she will be able to recommend products that would work best. Focus on anything that will tighten and brighten around the eyes.

Use a tooth whitener. Whiter teeth look younger.

No alcohol. Alcohol is the Great Ager.

Ditto on the clothes- well fitting. Brighter colors tend to convey a younger feel. But don't overdo.

Good luck!
posted by hellboundforcheddar at 2:30 PM on January 29 [2 favorites]

Think about what we associate with youthfulness. How do we identify people as young vs. old? Gray hair, sure. Wrinkles? Yup. But there's more.

Vitality and energy are high on that list and you don't have to do anything more than act like you have it. Energetic people are attractive.
posted by trinity8-director at 2:30 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]

I should say "get some sun/color" if you are not already a person of color.

If you are naturally un-pasty, skip the first suggestion.
posted by hellboundforcheddar at 2:40 PM on January 29

A good short haircut makes most men look a little more boyish. As Steve Jobs gets older, his hair gets shorter, and he's a handsome vivacious guy.
posted by abirae at 2:41 PM on January 29

Go for a really high quality dye job and contemporary haircut, maybe one of those silly micro-mohawks. Dress the part, and language, keep up the enthusiasm. But it's more posture and energy that will sell the image. But start early and live the part.

But if you have the writing chops, don't go too crazy on the image stuff, half+ the room is lying too. Wait, half?
posted by sammyo at 2:43 PM on January 29

I didn't see a mention of facial hair, but ditch it if you have some.
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 2:46 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]

Outrageously trendy shoes.
posted by availablelight at 2:47 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]

You probably don't want to experiment with monkeying with your facial expressions (Botox) before an interview. You may be better off with a conservative chemical peel and subtle use of fillers like Restylane.
posted by specialfriend at 2:52 PM on January 29

Actually, this reminds me of some advice my mother gave me when I was going on interviews.
Her advice: "Don't worry about looking 'right'. Just look good."

I was worried that my suit wasn't conservative enough and she said "Flattering pants are worth more than a million Brooks Brothers sack suits." So don't worry about trying to appear like their ideal candidate. When you wear well tailored, flattering clothes, you look sharp, and you feel like you can do anything. Your interviewer will pick up on that.
posted by abirae at 2:52 PM on January 29

Get a bit of sun. Shave. Exfoliate and moisturize, or maybe even a facial the day before. Get plenty of sleep, and plenty of water. Excercise before the interview. Wear a good suit.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:54 PM on January 29

I recommend going to a Sephora and talking to one of the ladies (or men) that work there and they can help you out with your skin. A good moisturizer can do wonders for the skin. Also they might be able to help you find a good foundation that doesn't look detectable. Just tell them what you said here and they will have plenty suggestions that will help you in your endeavors.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 2:54 PM on January 29

Also, a dangerous, but useful suggestion: eyebrows.

I say useful, because most people are not consciously aware how giant eyebrows can age a man. I say dangerous, because a bad eyebrow shaping on a man is truly disastrous. DISASTROUS.
posted by specialfriend at 2:58 PM on January 29 [4 favorites]

Wow... I had no idea TV staff writing was age-conscious.

Yep, I know some writers here who lie about their age, men as well as women. Hollywood is so obsessed with youth to such a bizarre, deeply unhealthy degree that -- depending on the projects, genres, etc. -- even people who aren't going to be anywhere near a camera are under pressure to be YOUNG! YOUNG! YOUNG! FOREVER YOUNG! So that they can automatically tap into the magic 18-35 demographic, upon which all things rise and fall, before presumably shuffling off the pop culture mortal coil at 40 and reverting to a life of Lawrence Welk re-runs.

Having said that... Please don't take the chance with botox OR microdermabrasian (microderm in particular tends to make a man look extremely shiny, pink, and insecure). If you have female friends or sisters, ask their opinion about whether or not you should touch up your grey hair; I'll bet they'll say no, it looks fine.

As for "dressing 32" instead of "dressing 37"... well, unless you're wearing Fred Mertz pants right now, I really don't see what the difference is. My recommendation would be a pair of well tailored flat-front trousers (or good, dark jeans), a nicely fitting shirt (probably casually untucked), and some stylish black shoes. Voila -- a cool, relaxed, ageless look.

In the meantime, get lots of sleep, drink lots of water, perhaps get a lo-tech facial (nothing fancy, maybe just a little exfoliation), use moisturizer. (Note: get facial a few days before your interviews, not the day before.) Short hair, maybe with a little gel in it (but please don't get a fauxhawk) and well-trimmed sideburns if they look good on you.

In the end, though, it's going to be more important to be enthusiastic and put your work and your ideas front and center.
posted by scody at 3:00 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]

Get an extremely close shave of every *other* hair on your face, so that it looks like you have thinner facial hair than you really do. Also closely shave areas that grow in later in life.

And act more awkwardly. Also see if you can grow some pimples.
posted by brenton at 3:02 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]

I work in media. I register way younger than I am (35), particularly initially. People say it's because of my skin and the fact that I'm always laughing. I definitely drink way more water than the average person, and moisturize (with regular cream, nothing expensive or fancy) daily, fwiw. I also have a no-miss superhip professional outfit I wear to client meetings and interviews that includes a low-key-cool hat (which I take off as soon as I arrive, but they see me in it); the shoes idea sounds great to me.

I second the idea of a lot of sleep - try to get at least three nights of really solid sleep before the interview. That means being a disciplined adult about it, not making excuses, and going to bed at 10pm. If that's more sleep than you need, get up early to start drinking all that water and do a bit of yoga or whatever other limbering exercise you're going to take up in the interim. And avoid avoid avoid alcohol, and cigarettes. Totally.

I too worry about the botox/emergency procedures stuff. Don't do it. And if you gel or cut your hair in a hopefully-cool-but-unusual-for-you manner, you may come off like one of those older guys who's trying to look 25 but actually scans as a fartcatching lame-o. Be careful! If you're going to get your hair cut, do it asap so there's time for it to grow out a bit/be fixed if necessary.

Remember university/your early 20s when there were leathery skinned peers? And the ones who went grey in their teens? No one really doubted their age, they just looked older. You don't have to necessarily rip off 10 layers of skin or dye your hair all crazy to look the part of someone younger. Unpack your experience and expertise for them, but make sure you're calm, while unjaded and less ironic than normal, and you'll scan youthful and skilled: just the combo they want.
posted by Mrs Hilksom at 3:14 PM on January 29

Get a nice facial a few days beforehand...and a manicure. And find a good moisturizer with a bit of color in it...and with a sunblock.

And get plenty of sleep.
posted by answergrape at 3:26 PM on January 29

Lose any excess weight you may be carrying

Get a youthful, but not excessively trendy, haircut

Dress with awareness


I concur on ditching facial hair. To quote dobbs, "Nothing says 'I can barely dress myself' like sculpted facial hair."

Facials, mosturiser, water and sleep contribute far less to looking young than looking fit, lean and well dressed.
posted by fire&wings at 3:40 PM on January 29

No facial hair. If you wear glasses, get trendy ones, preferably a bit oversized (width, not height) to make you look thinner and more boyish. Boyish haircut. All of these will help.
posted by davejay at 3:52 PM on January 29

Note: get facial a few days before your interviews, not the day before.

I concur! From experience: a facial the day of an event. Bad!

And start using sunscreen. Now. Do it every day, AND use it on your hands. Hands age you, but no one thinks about it until it's too late.
posted by jgirl at 3:55 PM on January 29

I'm going to disagree with those advocating sun. Sun ages you faster than alcohol and makes lines, stretched skin, and pores show up even more. Fake sun is even worse. I'm nearly 38 and allergic to the sun, which somehow ties in to my getting tagged as under-30 even after people have known me a while.

Clean, rested, well-moisturised skin is your best bet. A clean shave, tightly trimmed hair with a relaxed but business-like modern style, and a confident twinkle in your eye will go far. Don't get your hair over-coloured, because that's an obvious sign of insecurity and makes age even more clear.

nth the teeth-whitening - it'll make a huge difference in your smile and the contrast with your skin. Moisturise your hands regularly to have them appear as youthful as possible. Hands tell more about your age than your face for lots of people.

Go to a gossip site and look up musical artists and actors in your desired age range to see what they're wearing to inspire your interview wardrobe. Watch the shows your age group is watching to get a feel for their patter and rhythm.

Finally, get a massage - being completely physically relaxed at some recent point will translate out to a more relaxed you, potentially making age a bit harder to determine, but definitely letting you adopt a more youthful posture.

Good luck!
posted by batmonkey at 3:56 PM on January 29

Oil of Olay Regenerist is AMAZING. Try some on one side of your face for a couple days to see what I mean.

Ask the ladies at the cosmetics counter what the best eye treatments are these days.

Wearing the hippest eyeglasses is the best bet. But not everyone can pull that off without looking like you are trying too hard.

The scent of grapefruit makes men think women are younger than they are. Maybe you can use that information somehow?
posted by cda at 4:16 PM on January 29

Have your clothes tailored. I'd say that's much more important than the brands you wear or whether or not you lose the ten pounds.
posted by Meg_Murry at 4:41 PM on January 29

Gotta agree with Batmonkey. Sun damage is actually the true culprit behind the skin changes you normally associate with aging -- wrinkles, hyperpigmentation, etc. I've heard dermatologists estimate that sun damage accounts for 80-90% of signs of skin aging.

Also, UV damage is cumulative throughout your lifetime -- so add up each seemingly small exposure, the time you got sunburned at the beach when you were five years old, even the 15 minutes you spend outdoors on a bright winter day.

Even though it may seem like the tan (if you get one) goes away and your skin goes back to "normal," the damage is done and it lasts. The easiest way to keep your face "young-looking" is to avoid sun damage in the first place -- i.e. use a daily moisturizer that contains sunscreen all year-round.

Yes, I'm a bit obsessive about this. :)
posted by curiouskitty at 5:18 PM on January 29

No facial hair.

It's not PC to say, but get some color. Young people have tans. Pasty-faced 37 year olds look like people trapped in the house (or their cars) all day with their 2.3 kids.

The sun is good for you. Overdoing it is what gets you in trouble.

There is nothing wrong with botox if you have the right doctor- but you are probably a little too young for it. Hopefully you live near LA of NYC (where the best doctors are for this sort of thing) if you go that route.

Don't wear jeans to an interview like someone suggested.
posted by Zambrano at 5:45 PM on January 29

You know what makes people look older? Trying to pretend to be younger than they are. It nearly always comes off as fake and desperate. Think of some recent Madonna pictures - do you think hot, young thang? Probably not.

Lose a few pounds, get a haircut and dress in well tailored clothes. Don't be a fake.
posted by 26.2 at 6:54 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]

Good old-fashioned nutrition and exercise work wonders: ditch the alcohol and sugar, get at least eight hours sleep, and take a high-potency multivitamin/multimineral with an extra B-complex and about a gram of vitamin C. Lift weights; do something every day that makes you sweat, then rehydrate well.

I'm your age, and a couple of weeks ago, someone asked me if I'm on a women's college tennis team. Good luck!
posted by aquafortis at 7:45 PM on January 29

My recommendation would be a pair of well tailored flat-front trousers (or good, dark jeans), a nicely fitting shirt (probably casually untucked), and some stylish black shoes. Voila -- a cool, relaxed, ageless look.

Maybe it's a cool, relaxed ageless look for a casual dinner... but for a job interview? If someone came in to interview with me wearing an untucked shirt and jeans, my first thought would be "Uh huh, this guy just wants a signature on his unemployment papers..."
posted by bradth27 at 8:22 PM on January 29

Someone above mentioned getting some sun... don't do that. Sun ages you! People who don't have skin damage from tanning look way younger! Plus... it doesn't matter if your face is not tanned... it would matter more if your bum or stomach was pale... and they hopefully will never see those body parts!

No tanning! Do a google search of tanning, and you'll see how bad it is for your skin!
posted by DorothySmith at 8:54 PM on January 29

PS. My mom's never tanned... her skin is gorgeous! She moisturizes everyday too. She is almost 60 and looks like she's in her early 40s. I don't tan and I'm 23 and people think I'm 17 or 18 (which currently sucks, but I'll like it later I suppose haha).
posted by DorothySmith at 8:56 PM on January 29

Maybe it's a cool, relaxed ageless look for a casual dinner... but for a job interview?

It's for a TV writing gig (presumably in L.A.), not an office job. I know TV writers and screenwriters, and I don't think any of them have pitched in a suit.
posted by scody at 10:28 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]

(In fact, come to think of it, I'm not sure any of them own a suit.)
posted by scody at 10:29 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]

Dye your hair blue. Takes ten years off your apparent age instantly.

The potential drawback, of course, is that you'll be walking into the room with blue hair.
posted by ook at 10:54 PM on January 29

I work in TV, and know a fair number of TV writers. Here's some advice based on my observations:

First and most important, I reeeally don't think age matters as much as coolness and vibe do. You want to show your funny and ironic sides. They'll love someone who's observant, catches the details, isn't too arrogant to re-write a million times if need be, and yet is chill enough to not freak out over the compromises that are part of team writing. In short, a pleasant, interesting team player who'll pull his weight. Thoughtful or a little soft-spoken is better (and easier) than wisecracking comedian type.

Try to have a little humourous moment of connection with each person in each interview- a little spark of complicity where you catch their eye and share a moment of enjoyment about something, so each person feels that they're on the same page as you and you'd "get" their sensibilities. I think that would be much more likely to nab you the job than just looking 32 (besides, the producer who hires you will probably be older than all the writers and older than you, so a 5-year age gap probably won't trouble that person as much).

If you come in acting overcaffeinated, eager-to-please, or overly concerned with suburban life (ie, deeply married and tied to a demanding young family), you won't fit in as well no matter what your age. If you're self-possessed with cool hobbies, love your family without being totally defined by them, etc- then I think being 5 years older would be totally cool. This is one of those jobs where riding your bike to work would probably be a point in your favour more than a flashy car, you know?

But ok, you asked about how to look & dress.

TV is a creative field, and in my experience, most TV people are pretty happy that they get to dress a little more casually & cooly than everyone else. It's not an office job, it's a creative job. If you come in looking cookie-cutter "clean professional" like someone from a corporate job, you'll make yourself seem a little uncreative. You wanna look more like a graphic designer.

On a regular workday, the 30something TV writers I know look like Andy Samberg: fitted T-shirts, vintage cowboy shirts, dark jeans, and bright-coloured street sneakers (Converse, Vans, Pumas, etc - you want flat-soled shoes, NOT arch-supporting cross-trainers), or often Blundstones. Anyone who works on a funny or "cool" show (the kind of humour based around awkwardness or insults) probably styles himself a little like Demitri Martin, Keith Powell, or Jemaine Clement. So I say don't go too boyish / clean cut / professional on the hair & clothing. If you wanna be a hip TV writer, you probably want more BJ Novak as his touseled TV-writer self, and less his buttoned-up character Ryan Howard the temp (who looks more officey, but waay less funny).

Of course, for an interview, your clothes should be somewhat more formal, but still cool. Something like this sweater and pants combo (without the stupid ascot, shades, and parted lips), or a slightly fitted button-down with cool, designy details like these Jack&Jones shirts (the Julian and Jet styles are both pretty good, I think). Make sure your shoes aren't too formal for your pants, wear them a few times to break them in if they're new, and don't wear a thin formal belt like this (ugh), or a huge eyecatching belt buckle like this overly-flashy buckle. You want a thick, solid quality belt, nice smooth thick leather with a solid-yet-subtle buckle, maybe something like this classic, sturdy looking belt.

And if you wear glasses, you need thick glasses frames. That's a major indicator of "creative". I don't know a single TV creative under 40 who doesn't have thick frames (brushed metal or plastic are both OK). It's the difference between Dwight K. Schrute (ugh) and Rainn Wilson (cute). Actually, his casual real-world clothes are pretty good in general, he might be a good style icon. This handsome devil looks pretty good, too, although he might do well to have somewhat messier hair for a TV job.

I reeaaallly don't think you should dye your hair. It'll show. Dyed hair always looks fake, even on women, where it's permissible. But dyed hair on a young man is WEIRD. No greying 32-year-old guy would dye his hair, no way. I mean it. Get a cool, slightly shaggy haircut and just be the confident, cool dude who started going grey in his teens (don't mention it at all, but that's your private backstory). You're better off with thick, touseled hipster hair, if possible, and no worries if it's grey. I know a smokin hot graphic designer in his late-30s with incredible salt n'pepper hair, really good bushy haircut over great, stylish clothes, pretty quiet except when he says something observational and sharp which makes everyone like him and want to know more about him. He works in a young company with younger people, but nobody would ever care what his age is, because he's obviously the coolest dude at any party.

Hope that all helps! If you want really tailor-made advice, you could send photo of yourself to the mods. Black out your face if you need to preserve anonymity, but leave your clothes & hair. We'll let you know how your clothes & hair are doing. But really, just be casual, polite, observational, and pleasant, and I think you'll do fine. Good luck!
posted by pseudostrabismus at 11:12 PM on January 29 [9 favorites]