2nd Thoughts About Plastic Surgery
December 20, 2008 10:37 PM Subscribe
Should I go through with my planned plastic surgery?
Preface - I've always said I dislike these kind of questions, as the true and final answer should and is up to the person having the procedure, however I am quite confused at the moment and I really think some outside opinions would be beneficial. Ok - here it goes.
I'm getting to the point of no return for my plastic surgery date...i've had the consultation, paid my deposit - the pre-op and remainder of fees are due in 3 weeks.. after browsing some plastic surgery sites for weeks I'd realized that I hadn't had any "outside" opinions....I've had friends and family members talk to me about it...but I wanted to get truly unbiased opinions....I couldn't help but be curious about what those people who weren't jaded by knowing me think....so i posted a "having second thoughts about surgery - should i have rhinoplasty/a chin implant?" thread on a popular plastic surgery forum...and the results were a resounding no...all of the 7 responses so far have said no, some going so far as to say going through with it would making it worse, not better...
i've always seen this bulbous, massive nose stuck in the middle of my face and i used to press on it, day after day, when i was younger thinking that it would somehow shrink it...maybe i'm being irrational, but i can't see how i don't need rhinoplasty at all....below are the same, and a few more, pictures i posted....the last one is a scan from the virtual imaging that the doctor did....
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me1.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me2.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me3.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me4.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me5.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me6.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me7.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me8.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/virtualsurgery.jpg
And, finally, here is the link from the thread I posted on the surgery site.
http://messageboards.makemeheal.com/viewtopic.php?t=108357
Thanks! :)
Preface - I've always said I dislike these kind of questions, as the true and final answer should and is up to the person having the procedure, however I am quite confused at the moment and I really think some outside opinions would be beneficial. Ok - here it goes.
I'm getting to the point of no return for my plastic surgery date...i've had the consultation, paid my deposit - the pre-op and remainder of fees are due in 3 weeks.. after browsing some plastic surgery sites for weeks I'd realized that I hadn't had any "outside" opinions....I've had friends and family members talk to me about it...but I wanted to get truly unbiased opinions....I couldn't help but be curious about what those people who weren't jaded by knowing me think....so i posted a "having second thoughts about surgery - should i have rhinoplasty/a chin implant?" thread on a popular plastic surgery forum...and the results were a resounding no...all of the 7 responses so far have said no, some going so far as to say going through with it would making it worse, not better...
i've always seen this bulbous, massive nose stuck in the middle of my face and i used to press on it, day after day, when i was younger thinking that it would somehow shrink it...maybe i'm being irrational, but i can't see how i don't need rhinoplasty at all....below are the same, and a few more, pictures i posted....the last one is a scan from the virtual imaging that the doctor did....
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me1.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me2.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me3.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me4.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me5.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me6.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me7.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/me8.jpg
http://www.littlewhitetruth.com/virtualsurgery.jpg
And, finally, here is the link from the thread I posted on the surgery site.
http://messageboards.makemeheal.com/viewtopic.php?t=108357
Thanks! :)
You absolutely do not need plastic surgery. In middle school I spent a lot of time tilting my nose up and jutting my jaw out, obsessed with similar issues. You are well within the acceptable range of attractive people, and I don't see any point to trying to look more generic unless you're trying for soap opera acting gigs.
posted by Kirklander at 10:47 PM on December 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Kirklander at 10:47 PM on December 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
Uh, you look like every other Scots-Irish Southerner. Half the guys south of the Mason-Dixon line look like you.
It's not a bad look; a strong straight nose is more attractive than many of the alternatives. You have a very slight hump that prevents the line of the nose from being exactly straight, but so do most people that have non-concave nose curves. And in my opinion, convex is better than concave.
What exactly would the surgeon do?? I'd skip the surgery.
posted by orthogonality at 10:52 PM on December 20, 2008
It's not a bad look; a strong straight nose is more attractive than many of the alternatives. You have a very slight hump that prevents the line of the nose from being exactly straight, but so do most people that have non-concave nose curves. And in my opinion, convex is better than concave.
What exactly would the surgeon do?? I'd skip the surgery.
posted by orthogonality at 10:52 PM on December 20, 2008
You look perfectly fine. (I'm a girl a couple years younger than you.)
posted by dreamyshade at 10:55 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by dreamyshade at 10:55 PM on December 20, 2008
I was truly shocked when I looked at the pictures, expecting to see some huge nose. You look absolutely fine and I wouldn't risk it at all. Seriously, nothing at all at all at all needs to change. Don't do it.
posted by visual mechanic at 10:57 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by visual mechanic at 10:57 PM on December 20, 2008
Man, your nose is really cute and it's in proportion to your face. Seriously, it took me a moment to realize those weren't "after" pics and I was surprised the surgeons had done such a nice job.
posted by trig at 10:57 PM on December 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by trig at 10:57 PM on December 20, 2008 [1 favorite]
(Looking at the virtual surgery pic, I could see having the chin thing done; but as I said, I prefer stronger features, in general, having a semi-jutting cleft chin myself. But I don't know that the chin thing is essential.)
posted by orthogonality at 10:58 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by orthogonality at 10:58 PM on December 20, 2008
No, I don't think you do. Your face is perfectly attractive as is. You say you have talked to friends and family, but have you talked to a professional therapist about this? It's all well and good for other people to say you and your nose are fine, but clearly YOU have an issue with it. I am assuming that the reassurance of internet strangers probably won't make you suddenly love your nose, so clearly you need to do something - I just don;t think plastic surgery is the answer. In fact, I worry that if you went through with the plastic surgery you might just transfer your issues onto another part of yourself.
How about postponing your surgery (so you don't lose the deposit and still have that option available later) and go seek counseling about your self-image. Make sure that this really IS the right thing for you to do. Perhaps it is, perhaps it isn't. Better to find out before you spend all that money and have such drastic non-medical surgery.
posted by Joh at 10:59 PM on December 20, 2008 [4 favorites]
How about postponing your surgery (so you don't lose the deposit and still have that option available later) and go seek counseling about your self-image. Make sure that this really IS the right thing for you to do. Perhaps it is, perhaps it isn't. Better to find out before you spend all that money and have such drastic non-medical surgery.
posted by Joh at 10:59 PM on December 20, 2008 [4 favorites]
No, I don't think you should have surgery. You look perfectly normal. In the virtual shot, I think you look better in the "before" picture.
posted by Violet Hour at 11:00 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by Violet Hour at 11:00 PM on December 20, 2008
Please don't make a decision until you have seen the classic Twilight Zone episode Eye of the Beholder, which covers this kind of thing.
posted by Kirklander at 11:00 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by Kirklander at 11:00 PM on December 20, 2008
I definitely don't think you need surgery. You have an attractive, well-proportioned, masculine face.
What I do think you need is to figure out why your nose bothers you so much, whether that's through introspection, or therapy.
posted by charmcityblues at 11:03 PM on December 20, 2008
What I do think you need is to figure out why your nose bothers you so much, whether that's through introspection, or therapy.
posted by charmcityblues at 11:03 PM on December 20, 2008
That's a fine nose you've got there, Hogermite. I wouldn't mind having it -- mine is kinda small and lacking in character -- but I wouldn't pay to change mine. Seriously, there's no way that you need rhinoplasty. I don't think you'll be markedly more attractive to others unless, as Kirklander says, you're going for a generic, bland soap opera look. In which case you'll be more attractive to daytime tv casting directors.
You might be more attractive to yourself after surgery, but then again, you could probably achieve the same effect with some good counseling sessions to help you understand why you dislike your own face so much. Really, it doesn't need changing. The road to Michael Jacksondom is paved with the best intentions. If you don't start down that road in the first place, you can be sure it won't be your destination.
posted by mumkin at 11:09 PM on December 20, 2008
You might be more attractive to yourself after surgery, but then again, you could probably achieve the same effect with some good counseling sessions to help you understand why you dislike your own face so much. Really, it doesn't need changing. The road to Michael Jacksondom is paved with the best intentions. If you don't start down that road in the first place, you can be sure it won't be your destination.
posted by mumkin at 11:09 PM on December 20, 2008
Yeah, I don't see a problem there at all. I agree with Violet Hour that you look better in the "before" picture."
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 11:10 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 11:10 PM on December 20, 2008
You look absolutely fine to me. I would actually say your nose is above average, as noses go, but of course that's a matter of personal taste. And I agree that you look better in the 'before' virtual shot.
posted by frobozz at 11:12 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by frobozz at 11:12 PM on December 20, 2008
You have a strong-looking face. Very direct gaze, nice eyes. If your character, intelligence and sense of humor match your attractive appearance, you have nothing to worry about just as you are. Who knows what drew your attention to your nose and chin growing up? It wouldn't have crossed my mind to question their suitability on your face had you not been querying mefi about it. I can think of myriad ways you could enhance your life much more than to spend your money on plastic surgery.
However, your surgeon may not be able to think of a single one.
posted by mumstheword at 11:13 PM on December 20, 2008
However, your surgeon may not be able to think of a single one.
posted by mumstheword at 11:13 PM on December 20, 2008
I'm a total outsider to the world of plastic surgery. What I can say is I believe though that a) plastic surgery seems to consistently look noticeable and bad on most people, b) I really doubt that surgery will help you feel better about your appearance, and c) I know personally a bunch of folks who are either not particularly attractive by current standards (I'd include myself here) or have much more extreme features that are actively considered unattractive by the mainstream (large facial scars, extremely crooked teeth, facial asymmetry) who have found ways to mostly feel attractive anyway and those folks are consistently able to get dates, get work, be social etc and generally feel OK about themselves, at least as much as anyone does these days. So I do think its possible to learn to find yourself attractive even if you don't now.
My suggestion is to spend a few years looking at other ways to build your confidence and see if that helps you feel better. I hope that doesn't sound trite because I understand that feeling bad about your looks can be anything from challenging to devastating, but I think its worth a shot.
posted by serazin at 11:14 PM on December 20, 2008
My suggestion is to spend a few years looking at other ways to build your confidence and see if that helps you feel better. I hope that doesn't sound trite because I understand that feeling bad about your looks can be anything from challenging to devastating, but I think its worth a shot.
posted by serazin at 11:14 PM on December 20, 2008
i personally see the nose job as being unnecessary, but i like the look of the "after" picture of the chin. but then i too have a very weak chin, and hate it, and wish i were all angular like katharine hepburn. if i didn't have that opinion about myself, i might not have that opinion about you. so, you really need to figure out what YOU want, because everyone is bringing their own prejudices and personal opinions of what they find attractive to this question.
posted by misanthropicsarah at 11:14 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by misanthropicsarah at 11:14 PM on December 20, 2008
...go seek counseling about your self-image.
posted by Joh at 1:59 AM on December 21 [+] [!]
Oh, Joh, I was about to say the same. Nothing wrong on the outside of the skull, dear Hogermite. Work on getting the inside of the same to understand that.
(Admission: straight male, not very good at assessing male attractiveness to da wominz, but you look pretty OK to me.)
posted by IAmBroom at 11:14 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by Joh at 1:59 AM on December 21 [+] [!]
Oh, Joh, I was about to say the same. Nothing wrong on the outside of the skull, dear Hogermite. Work on getting the inside of the same to understand that.
(Admission: straight male, not very good at assessing male attractiveness to da wominz, but you look pretty OK to me.)
posted by IAmBroom at 11:14 PM on December 20, 2008
Uhh...what's wrong with your nose? Nothing at all. Don't do it. I can't imagine why you would think there is something wrong with it-but hey, that's you. This is coming from a young female. You look better with your "before" nose than the "after" shot.
Work on loving who you are-not what your nose looks like :)
posted by pdx87 at 11:19 PM on December 20, 2008
Work on loving who you are-not what your nose looks like :)
posted by pdx87 at 11:19 PM on December 20, 2008
Personally, I think you are adorable. I love strong noses on guys and, based on the number of friends I know in lusty relationships with big-nosed guys, I am not alone in my feelings.
posted by Foam Pants at 11:21 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by Foam Pants at 11:21 PM on December 20, 2008
I agree. You're cute and I like your nose. The surgery one looks nice, too, but I think it's good you're having 2nd thoughts.
posted by juliplease at 11:25 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by juliplease at 11:25 PM on December 20, 2008
I don't think you need surgery at all. Ive often thought about getting surgery because my nose I think is a lot bigger then yours (embarrassing reference pics here and here) I think yours looks normal compared to mine. So I would say that no you don't need surgery at all.
posted by lilkeith07 at 11:40 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by lilkeith07 at 11:40 PM on December 20, 2008
Your nose is in proper proportion to your face and you look just fine.
posted by Iron Rat at 11:41 PM on December 20, 2008
posted by Iron Rat at 11:41 PM on December 20, 2008
Well, this depends. It depends on whether you view plastic surgery as a means to let unattractive people aspire to averageness or if it is also acceptable for average people to aspire to exceptionalness.
There is nothing wrong with the way you look now. You're better looking than i am, certainly. But I also see nothing wrong with making the decision to try to improve your looks.
That said, you're going to go through pain and risk to get there. You're also going to have to deal with what those around you think of your character after you get the surgery. You also risk not looking like the visualization when the surgery is done.
This comes down to your own personality. You got a decent hand in the genetics round. Are you the type to double down, or are you satisfied with doing as well as you are already?
posted by specialfriend at 11:49 PM on December 20, 2008 [2 favorites]
There is nothing wrong with the way you look now. You're better looking than i am, certainly. But I also see nothing wrong with making the decision to try to improve your looks.
That said, you're going to go through pain and risk to get there. You're also going to have to deal with what those around you think of your character after you get the surgery. You also risk not looking like the visualization when the surgery is done.
This comes down to your own personality. You got a decent hand in the genetics round. Are you the type to double down, or are you satisfied with doing as well as you are already?
posted by specialfriend at 11:49 PM on December 20, 2008 [2 favorites]
Well, you do have kind of a blob for a nose, and that is what is commonly called a weak chin. The "after" picture does show a face that has been altered to more conventionally good-looking. This sounds like this is an issue that has loomed large (sorry) in your life and your self-image up until now. You are young, and have the resources to make this happen. Do it!
posted by longsleeves at 12:01 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by longsleeves at 12:01 AM on December 21, 2008
When I was your age, I certainly wouldn't have kicked you out of bed. Your nose is absolutely fine. It adds character and flavour to your face, and I think it is appealing. There's nothing unappealing about it. Regarding your chin, I understand why you might be interested in augmenting it, but really, I don't think you need it. Unless of course, you intend on being a movie star, in which case, it's probably a requirement, but don't change the nose.
I personally am not opposed to plastic surgery, and I've seen a couple of friends have subtle face lifts that have made them look less tired, and I fully support doing what needs to be done in order for you to feel good about yourself.
Have you considered facial hair while you wait for your face to age a bit more? Perhaps having a beard or a goatee would make you feel a bit more comfortable? However, I think you look cute, and I would point you out to my daughter if we were at a social event and she was looking.
posted by b33j at 12:02 AM on December 21, 2008
I personally am not opposed to plastic surgery, and I've seen a couple of friends have subtle face lifts that have made them look less tired, and I fully support doing what needs to be done in order for you to feel good about yourself.
Have you considered facial hair while you wait for your face to age a bit more? Perhaps having a beard or a goatee would make you feel a bit more comfortable? However, I think you look cute, and I would point you out to my daughter if we were at a social event and she was looking.
posted by b33j at 12:02 AM on December 21, 2008
You look good, there is no need for plastic surgery. Now quit worrying about your face, and be prepared to laugh about this whole mess ten years from now.
posted by furtive at 12:03 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by furtive at 12:03 AM on December 21, 2008
You look totally normal to me. I'd say back off and listen to the voice that's making you think about this. That voice is a very healthy part of you trying to say something.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:10 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by Ironmouth at 12:10 AM on December 21, 2008
You look great at the moment. My wife looked over my shoulder at this thread and said "who's that, he's very good looking".
posted by greycap at 12:21 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by greycap at 12:21 AM on December 21, 2008
I'll add to the chorus saying you look fine. The virtual you picture makes your chin look slightly better, but it's very slight and the thought of spending thousands on hacking your body up seems crazy to me.
I remember being a teen and obsessed with the size of my large nose, and all the things I could do to change it. I thought about this nonstop for about two years until one day I noticed Tom Cruise had a pretty large nose in the mid-80s (I have no idea what it looks like now). Then I started looking at other movie star leading men I had always thought were good looking and I found a lot of similarly large noses.
Then I realized the size of my nose didn't matter to anyone and certainly didn't warrant all the energy I was wasting on worrying about it. I realized famous people are charismatic and have tons of self-confidence and that makes up for some imperfect features.
Here's a great exercise if you don't believe me that looks aren't everything: Take out your high school yearbook (the more years between when you graduated and the present day, the better). Show it to the person you are currently dating (provided they didn't know you then and didn't attend that school). Show them the senior class photos and ask them to pick out some people they think were popular. Then try and think of the top 3 or 4 popular guys and show them to the person you're currently dating.
Often you'll hear stuff like this: "Are you fucking kidding me? That lughead was the most popular guy on campus?! He's got weird bulging eyes and a unibrow! Women actually dated that?"
Confidence and attitude counts about a thousand times more than you think.
posted by mathowie at 12:21 AM on December 21, 2008 [13 favorites]
I remember being a teen and obsessed with the size of my large nose, and all the things I could do to change it. I thought about this nonstop for about two years until one day I noticed Tom Cruise had a pretty large nose in the mid-80s (I have no idea what it looks like now). Then I started looking at other movie star leading men I had always thought were good looking and I found a lot of similarly large noses.
Then I realized the size of my nose didn't matter to anyone and certainly didn't warrant all the energy I was wasting on worrying about it. I realized famous people are charismatic and have tons of self-confidence and that makes up for some imperfect features.
Here's a great exercise if you don't believe me that looks aren't everything: Take out your high school yearbook (the more years between when you graduated and the present day, the better). Show it to the person you are currently dating (provided they didn't know you then and didn't attend that school). Show them the senior class photos and ask them to pick out some people they think were popular. Then try and think of the top 3 or 4 popular guys and show them to the person you're currently dating.
Often you'll hear stuff like this: "Are you fucking kidding me? That lughead was the most popular guy on campus?! He's got weird bulging eyes and a unibrow! Women actually dated that?"
Confidence and attitude counts about a thousand times more than you think.
posted by mathowie at 12:21 AM on December 21, 2008 [13 favorites]
You look fine. My boyfriend just looked over my shoulder to see what I was looking at, and says the same thing.
Is it possible that you maybe looked a bit different when you were younger (eg in high school) and have since grown into your features, but still think you look like you did then? Some of my male friends did go through an awkward phase, but eventually 'grew out of it' maybe five or six years after school.
I also second those saying they like a bit of character in a nose (but honestly, yours is so normal it hardly counts as that!).
posted by AnnaRat at 12:27 AM on December 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
Is it possible that you maybe looked a bit different when you were younger (eg in high school) and have since grown into your features, but still think you look like you did then? Some of my male friends did go through an awkward phase, but eventually 'grew out of it' maybe five or six years after school.
I also second those saying they like a bit of character in a nose (but honestly, yours is so normal it hardly counts as that!).
posted by AnnaRat at 12:27 AM on December 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
When a friend of mine told me he was obsessed with his nose and getting a nose job, I told him that I didn't even realize he *had* a nose. Same with you - your nose is all you think about, so it's all you see.
My friend went ahead and got the surgery, and frankly, I couldn't see any difference, but he felt great about it. Go figure.
Do you need a nose job in the opinion of outsiders? Absolutely not. Do you need one because you can't stop obsessing about it? Can you find something else to think about that matters? Could you feel good about spending the money on something else? Those are questions that only you can answer.
posted by jasper411 at 12:28 AM on December 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
My friend went ahead and got the surgery, and frankly, I couldn't see any difference, but he felt great about it. Go figure.
Do you need a nose job in the opinion of outsiders? Absolutely not. Do you need one because you can't stop obsessing about it? Can you find something else to think about that matters? Could you feel good about spending the money on something else? Those are questions that only you can answer.
posted by jasper411 at 12:28 AM on December 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
[b]lilkeith07[/b], you and I are nose twins.
I've often thought of plastic surgery as well. Looking at your nose, though, I just don't see the problem. I think it looks like a great nose and I too thought the before picture looked better. But I understand that you feel there is a problem. I would second everyone who said to maybe consider counseling first.
posted by rainygrl716 at 12:29 AM on December 21, 2008
I've often thought of plastic surgery as well. Looking at your nose, though, I just don't see the problem. I think it looks like a great nose and I too thought the before picture looked better. But I understand that you feel there is a problem. I would second everyone who said to maybe consider counseling first.
posted by rainygrl716 at 12:29 AM on December 21, 2008
I skimmed this askme, saw "bulbous" really quick and thought you had a witchy wart or something. So I looked through the pictures, searching for some kind of hideous thing. And all I saw was this pretty normal looking dude. Then I came back to the post and read it and said "Whaaaaat?"
Dude. Whaaat? You look totally fine.
Get your money back, hit up Ikea and buy a couch cover, a lamp and some more spiffy jackets.
posted by cashman at 12:33 AM on December 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
Dude. Whaaat? You look totally fine.
Get your money back, hit up Ikea and buy a couch cover, a lamp and some more spiffy jackets.
posted by cashman at 12:33 AM on December 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
I think you're quite attractive as is. I'm a heterosexual young woman, for what it's worth.
I can see how the after-image appeals to you. It's handsome... but in a very bland way. It's also pretty much the ideal, best-case scenario, right? I don't think it's an ideal worth cutting your face open to become.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:39 AM on December 21, 2008
I can see how the after-image appeals to you. It's handsome... but in a very bland way. It's also pretty much the ideal, best-case scenario, right? I don't think it's an ideal worth cutting your face open to become.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:39 AM on December 21, 2008
I don't see the problem with your nose. Then again, I can't look through your eyes. A third party can't give a real clean view because we're not tainted with your specific insecurities (and we've all got some flavor or another). So, in my opinion, skip the surgery (which will involve some BREAKING YOUR NOSE ON PURPOSE) and use the money for therapy. Or something shiny.
Your hair kinda sucks, though. Get a different haircut.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 1:23 AM on December 21, 2008
Your hair kinda sucks, though. Get a different haircut.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 1:23 AM on December 21, 2008
Yet another "no, you don't need it."
It's your face, so if you really want to, then it won't hurt anything... but it's really not necessary. You have a nice face, though, and it seems unnecessary to me that you would need to change it. Best of luck whatever you decide.
posted by jzb at 1:30 AM on December 21, 2008
It's your face, so if you really want to, then it won't hurt anything... but it's really not necessary. You have a nice face, though, and it seems unnecessary to me that you would need to change it. Best of luck whatever you decide.
posted by jzb at 1:30 AM on December 21, 2008
Both the before and after pics look fine to me.
This decision, though, has to be yours, not that of random people you found on the internet, not even that of your friends or family.
Plastic surgeons heal wounds.
When you look in the mirror, do you see a person with a wound? If so, the plastic surgeon can fix it. If not, then you shouldn't have the operation.
posted by ikkyu2 at 1:48 AM on December 21, 2008 [6 favorites]
This decision, though, has to be yours, not that of random people you found on the internet, not even that of your friends or family.
Plastic surgeons heal wounds.
When you look in the mirror, do you see a person with a wound? If so, the plastic surgeon can fix it. If not, then you shouldn't have the operation.
posted by ikkyu2 at 1:48 AM on December 21, 2008 [6 favorites]
Well, I'm a straight guy, so maybe my opinion isn't the one you need most. But you look totally fine to me. Your nose looks in proportion to your face, your chin looks ok (though as mentioned above, a beard might be something for you to consider), and generally you look like a guy I'd assume was attractive.
I move in circles where elective plastic surgery is pretty rare, and the people who've had it don't mention it. But the one guy I met who talked about his nose job had taken a perfectly fine nose and made it so thin and angular that he looked really weird as a result. So if you go ahead with this, don't take it to that extreme.
I think it should be obvious from the answers you've gotten here and on the plastic surgery board that you look totally fine in photos to the outside eye. What impact that should have on your decision, I don't know. Is the surgery really going to make you happy with your appearance? Or are you going to find a new aspect of yourself to be unhappy with?
Personally, I can vividly remember looking in the mirror and at photos of myself and thinking "geez, what a weird looking guy." But now, when I look at those old photos, my immediate reaction is "hey, that's a pretty decent looking young guy." My self-perception was simply wrong -- I was magnifying little things (like you are with your nose) far beyond their importance, and missing that the overall picture wasn't bad at all. I'm really happy now that I didn't have the option of plastic surgery then, because I would have fixed "problems" that aren't actually problems at all.
posted by Forktine at 2:01 AM on December 21, 2008
I move in circles where elective plastic surgery is pretty rare, and the people who've had it don't mention it. But the one guy I met who talked about his nose job had taken a perfectly fine nose and made it so thin and angular that he looked really weird as a result. So if you go ahead with this, don't take it to that extreme.
I think it should be obvious from the answers you've gotten here and on the plastic surgery board that you look totally fine in photos to the outside eye. What impact that should have on your decision, I don't know. Is the surgery really going to make you happy with your appearance? Or are you going to find a new aspect of yourself to be unhappy with?
Personally, I can vividly remember looking in the mirror and at photos of myself and thinking "geez, what a weird looking guy." But now, when I look at those old photos, my immediate reaction is "hey, that's a pretty decent looking young guy." My self-perception was simply wrong -- I was magnifying little things (like you are with your nose) far beyond their importance, and missing that the overall picture wasn't bad at all. I'm really happy now that I didn't have the option of plastic surgery then, because I would have fixed "problems" that aren't actually problems at all.
posted by Forktine at 2:01 AM on December 21, 2008
You look absolutely fine! In fact, I would say you're a pretty attractive looking guy. Obviously, the decision to have plastic surgery has to be yours alone, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with your features. I think most people have some aspect of their face or body that they are very insecure and overly aware of, that they think everyone they meet zooms in on instantaneously. I'm sure, more often than not, other people don't manage to notice (or care about) asymmetry, scars, birth marks, and the various other imperfections that we obsess over.
posted by Mael Oui at 2:34 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by Mael Oui at 2:34 AM on December 21, 2008
Take the money and go on a trip around the world instead.
posted by zouhair at 2:42 AM on December 21, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by zouhair at 2:42 AM on December 21, 2008 [3 favorites]
Good lord, you don't need to do this--you're a nice looking person.
Why spend all that time, money, and pain when really you could feel a ton better through a couple sessions with a therapist, a soul-searching about why you feel insecure enough to consider this, and really, spending about half the money for the surgery on upgrading your wardrobe and buying a hot watch and a pair of big-boy shoes (as we call them around here. Eg. Not Vans. Not sneakers. Not big floppy boots.)
You look good. You don't need to worry about finding a partner or people not hiring you or any of the things people have to worry about when they really do need, or could be helped by, plastic surgery. You do not fit any of these categories.
To reiterate: work on your self-confidence, and as a boost and a treat for yourself-because I think you could use it-new clothes.
Your self-assessment is inaccurate. Start treating it as something not to be trusted until you get a more accurate view.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 2:53 AM on December 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
Why spend all that time, money, and pain when really you could feel a ton better through a couple sessions with a therapist, a soul-searching about why you feel insecure enough to consider this, and really, spending about half the money for the surgery on upgrading your wardrobe and buying a hot watch and a pair of big-boy shoes (as we call them around here. Eg. Not Vans. Not sneakers. Not big floppy boots.)
You look good. You don't need to worry about finding a partner or people not hiring you or any of the things people have to worry about when they really do need, or could be helped by, plastic surgery. You do not fit any of these categories.
To reiterate: work on your self-confidence, and as a boost and a treat for yourself-because I think you could use it-new clothes.
Your self-assessment is inaccurate. Start treating it as something not to be trusted until you get a more accurate view.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 2:53 AM on December 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
Gay girl here. You are a cute guy. Stick with the nose, it's well suited to your face and is a good masculine nose. Don't go buy a boys nose. I can kiiiinda see that you feel your chin isn't what you want it to be, but only because you have said so, and only in direct profile. However, you are still a youngish guy by the look of things, and your face is most likely going to change in the coming years, so I would probably wait a little on the chin stuff if you still want it. Also, adding my voice to the pile of people who look at 10 year old pics and say "Omigod! I was so cute!", when I felt the exact opposite that at the time.
posted by Iteki at 3:18 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by Iteki at 3:18 AM on December 21, 2008
what many here seem to be missing is that how we perceive ourselves often vastly differs from how others do. whether we feel beautiful has a direct impact not only on our own happiness but also on how we behave towards others. while this surgery may in deed not be dramatically necessary from a physical point of view (=no horrible burn injuries, etc) the fact that the status quo bothers Hogermite this much is a valid reason for him to consider acting upon it.
Hogermite, the only two issues you need to consider are (1) is the expected outcome going to be close to what you want and (2) how risky is this procedure/reliable is the healing process? get a second opinion. look around for how people who have had this done faired after the procedure. this is surgery and as such not to be taken lightly in terms of its effects and implications but again you have right and reason to do it if it will change your quality of life.
I say this as someone who has had plastic surgery done. it was a completely unnecessary procedure and it was money I could probably have spent just as well on something else but how having changed that certain something made me feel made it worth it for me.
posted by krautland at 3:32 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
Hogermite, the only two issues you need to consider are (1) is the expected outcome going to be close to what you want and (2) how risky is this procedure/reliable is the healing process? get a second opinion. look around for how people who have had this done faired after the procedure. this is surgery and as such not to be taken lightly in terms of its effects and implications but again you have right and reason to do it if it will change your quality of life.
I say this as someone who has had plastic surgery done. it was a completely unnecessary procedure and it was money I could probably have spent just as well on something else but how having changed that certain something made me feel made it worth it for me.
posted by krautland at 3:32 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
I think you look awesome with your current nose.
posted by heavenstobetsy at 4:00 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by heavenstobetsy at 4:00 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
Get therapy. You look perfectly normal. Surgery is a big deal, and it's totally not worth the risk.
posted by zeek321 at 4:00 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by zeek321 at 4:00 AM on December 21, 2008
You do look fine & normal. The nose especially is fine. I like large noses, and I'm afraid yours doesn't fall into the "large" category I so admire. Have you ever seen the actor Gerard Depardieu?
I'd go for a bigger chin before anything, but then I've been wishing my own chin (and nose) were bigger... though I still probably won't mess with them surgically. I'm not sure (having never researched this), but I *think* chin augmentation is a lot more minor, and could pay off more in the long run -- as you get older and the under-chin area starts to do what it does.
One thing to consider -- when you started noticing your own nose and thinking it was too large, perhaps the rest of your face hadn't grown into it. Maybe now it's proportional, whereas when you were younger it was larger compared to your cheeks, eyes, and forehead.
posted by amtho at 4:01 AM on December 21, 2008
I'd go for a bigger chin before anything, but then I've been wishing my own chin (and nose) were bigger... though I still probably won't mess with them surgically. I'm not sure (having never researched this), but I *think* chin augmentation is a lot more minor, and could pay off more in the long run -- as you get older and the under-chin area starts to do what it does.
One thing to consider -- when you started noticing your own nose and thinking it was too large, perhaps the rest of your face hadn't grown into it. Maybe now it's proportional, whereas when you were younger it was larger compared to your cheeks, eyes, and forehead.
posted by amtho at 4:01 AM on December 21, 2008
You're a cute, fit, young blond guy! and I'm a girl and I know what I am talking about, nyerhe!
posted by By The Grace of God at 4:06 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by By The Grace of God at 4:06 AM on December 21, 2008
Seconding krautland. I too have had surgery (though in my case it was classed as reconstructive due to a birth defect, and I only had a small number of surgical options).
In addition to the pain of this surgery, you need to be prepared for follow-ups, should it not go to plan or not turn out how you wanted it.
But ultimately, only you can know if you really want to do this.
posted by wingless_angel at 4:30 AM on December 21, 2008
In addition to the pain of this surgery, you need to be prepared for follow-ups, should it not go to plan or not turn out how you wanted it.
But ultimately, only you can know if you really want to do this.
posted by wingless_angel at 4:30 AM on December 21, 2008
50thing that you're fine. There's nothing wrong about your face: In fact, you're well above-average on the looks scale. Plastic surgery would be a mistake.
posted by dunkadunc at 4:36 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by dunkadunc at 4:36 AM on December 21, 2008
Dude! Your nose is absolutely the perfect size and shape for your face and is in no way what anyone would objectively consider a "big nose"! In fact, I'm jealous! It's a vision of symmetry! My own nose is (what I consider) a misshapen crooked bulbous half of a potato slapped onto my noggin. Not that I'd ever change it, since it does suit me, but I am wayyyyy more a candidate for plastic surgery than you will ever be.
Just as you usually don't like these kinds of questions, I usually don't answer them, because it's kinda none of my business. But once I saw your pictures I couldn't avoid replying. Leave it alone! I fear you will ruin a handsome face and turn your nose into some Michael Jacksonesque parody of a "small" nose.
Maybe a few visits with a therapist will help you figure out why you started fixating on your nose and convinced yourself that it was inordinately large. There has to be some reason, because it's simply not even close to any objective truth, and I'm sad that a doctor would even agree to perform such a procedure on such a handsome young man.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 4:39 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
Just as you usually don't like these kinds of questions, I usually don't answer them, because it's kinda none of my business. But once I saw your pictures I couldn't avoid replying. Leave it alone! I fear you will ruin a handsome face and turn your nose into some Michael Jacksonesque parody of a "small" nose.
Maybe a few visits with a therapist will help you figure out why you started fixating on your nose and convinced yourself that it was inordinately large. There has to be some reason, because it's simply not even close to any objective truth, and I'm sad that a doctor would even agree to perform such a procedure on such a handsome young man.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 4:39 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
Many have suggested you talk with a therapist. I'm curious, have you? And, if so, what did you get out of it? If you want a second opinion talking with someone who can help you give yourself a second opinion might be a good investment.
I think your nose look exceptionally normal and fine. But it's not my opinion that will convince you.
posted by Taken Outtacontext at 5:06 AM on December 21, 2008
I think your nose look exceptionally normal and fine. But it's not my opinion that will convince you.
posted by Taken Outtacontext at 5:06 AM on December 21, 2008
Your before picture is cute, your after picture is cute. As long as your OK in the head, either one is a pretty awesome guy to look like.
One more thing, it's possible you grew into your nose but still have the picture of the "young you" in your head, and perhaps he did have a big nose.
posted by agentwills at 5:28 AM on December 21, 2008
One more thing, it's possible you grew into your nose but still have the picture of the "young you" in your head, and perhaps he did have a big nose.
posted by agentwills at 5:28 AM on December 21, 2008
I think you should do it. A little pain and a little expense and you'll feel better about your looks for the rest of your life.
posted by zadcat at 5:28 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by zadcat at 5:28 AM on December 21, 2008
I don't normally stop in these threads, but my curiosity was piqued by the description. I know you're probably looking at all these people responding and thinking, "Well, they say I look fine, but that's just because they were expecting to see something far worse."
Well, let me tell you, completely objectively...
Dude, you look fine.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:14 AM on December 21, 2008
Well, let me tell you, completely objectively...
Dude, you look fine.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:14 AM on December 21, 2008
I think you look fine, dude. And while the virtual "after" does indeed have a stronger chin, you run the risk here of the real after not even looking like the virtual.
I'll throw in another, "Don't do it."
posted by joshrholloway at 6:17 AM on December 21, 2008
I'll throw in another, "Don't do it."
posted by joshrholloway at 6:17 AM on December 21, 2008
i think you look fine. but, to be fair, i am not a believer in plastic surgery unless there is a really prominent deformity or imbalance or you're entering teh witness protection program. you certainly don't have anything like that. i think you look quite nice, and the new nose and chin are not going to bring significant hotness. confidence will bring you far more hotness. join a gym, work out, get a good haircut and use that money for some snappy clothes. i think it will make a bigger difference than surgery.
i think your friends and family are supporting you because they want you to be happy. you are unhapy with your looks, and this change will hopefully "fix" that. but, although the risks are low, people DO die, almost die, or suffer terrible infections after ANY surgery. if it's worth risking that--if you are THAT unhappy--then maybe you need counseling more than surgery. otherwise, try to exhaust all other non-potentially-lethal-or-scarring options first.
posted by thinkingwoman at 6:28 AM on December 21, 2008
i think your friends and family are supporting you because they want you to be happy. you are unhapy with your looks, and this change will hopefully "fix" that. but, although the risks are low, people DO die, almost die, or suffer terrible infections after ANY surgery. if it's worth risking that--if you are THAT unhappy--then maybe you need counseling more than surgery. otherwise, try to exhaust all other non-potentially-lethal-or-scarring options first.
posted by thinkingwoman at 6:28 AM on December 21, 2008
Good lord do not waste your money. You look great.
posted by trip and a half at 6:28 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by trip and a half at 6:28 AM on December 21, 2008
There's a quite good Wikipedia entry on Body Dysmorphia which you might read.
posted by Neiltupper at 6:43 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by Neiltupper at 6:43 AM on December 21, 2008
What pretty blue eyes! I think your nose is fine, and I think you look good. However, I do think the new chin is an improvement. You might go ahead with the chin job. Once that's done you might find that your face is more balanced and you feel better about your nose.
Oh, and just because someone is contemplating plastic surgery doesn't mean they need therapy. God do I get tired of having to say that.
posted by Evangeline at 6:47 AM on December 21, 2008
Oh, and just because someone is contemplating plastic surgery doesn't mean they need therapy. God do I get tired of having to say that.
posted by Evangeline at 6:47 AM on December 21, 2008
Nope, you don't need it. I speak as a white hetero male Brit with a bigger nose than you thanks to my Dad's side of the family.
With/despite this nose, I have had my share of romances and managed to find love and happiness.
As others have mentioned, confidence and personality are far more important than the nose. My wife thinks you are better looking than the average.
posted by arcticseal at 6:53 AM on December 21, 2008
With/despite this nose, I have had my share of romances and managed to find love and happiness.
As others have mentioned, confidence and personality are far more important than the nose. My wife thinks you are better looking than the average.
posted by arcticseal at 6:53 AM on December 21, 2008
I'm a total outsider to the world of plastic surgery. What I can say is I believe though that a) plastic surgery seems to consistently look noticeable and bad on most people.
Really? Not to be contrary here, but you're an admitted "total outsider" on this topic, and I'll bet that you do not "consistently notice" the people you encounter who have had had plastic surgery. Unless you live in a rural area and your primary exposure to plastic surgery is the pictures in the salacious, crass magazines in the supermarket checkout line, you probably encounter several people who have had plastic surgeries that look quite good-- because you don't notice them at all.
Categorical, knee-jerk indictments against cosmetic surgery (or worse, conclusions that the young man has emotional problems or necessarily needs counseling for wanting an ever-so-slightly more handsome face) may come from a caring place, but imo they are not necessarily accurate nor entirely helpful.
posted by applemeat at 7:03 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
Really? Not to be contrary here, but you're an admitted "total outsider" on this topic, and I'll bet that you do not "consistently notice" the people you encounter who have had had plastic surgery. Unless you live in a rural area and your primary exposure to plastic surgery is the pictures in the salacious, crass magazines in the supermarket checkout line, you probably encounter several people who have had plastic surgeries that look quite good-- because you don't notice them at all.
Categorical, knee-jerk indictments against cosmetic surgery (or worse, conclusions that the young man has emotional problems or necessarily needs counseling for wanting an ever-so-slightly more handsome face) may come from a caring place, but imo they are not necessarily accurate nor entirely helpful.
posted by applemeat at 7:03 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
That said, add me to the many people who (--were somewhat surprised to--) see Hogermite's handsome face in the "before" photos, and do not think he needs cosmetic surgery.
posted by applemeat at 7:07 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by applemeat at 7:07 AM on December 21, 2008
Straight woman here, who thinks the "before" nose is better than the "after." You have a manly nose (whatever that means) now; a button nose would not be good, especially as you age.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:20 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:20 AM on December 21, 2008
This is a bad outcome to your question. Now what? You have 67 people who don't know you who think you should keep your nose as is. If you do keep it, you will always second guess yourself for listening to the internets. If you don't do it, you will have the internets to blame for your perception of your nose.
If you are that unsure of the decision that you are posting on websites looking for outside opinions, wait until you can make the decision your own.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:39 AM on December 21, 2008
If you are that unsure of the decision that you are posting on websites looking for outside opinions, wait until you can make the decision your own.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:39 AM on December 21, 2008
I like the "before" better as well. Nthing therapy, if you haven't done so already.
So yeah, buy something shiny instead. A big trip somewhere you've always wanted to go sounds great.
posted by neblina_matinal at 7:49 AM on December 21, 2008
So yeah, buy something shiny instead. A big trip somewhere you've always wanted to go sounds great.
posted by neblina_matinal at 7:49 AM on December 21, 2008
I'm going to say go for it. I'm happy that I had mine done. Mine was like yours. Not necessarily horrible or extreme looking but there were aspects of it that bothered me/weren't attractive. My face is prettier and my profile nicer now. Definitely worth it! I rarely think about it now and occasionally look back at pics and think about how happy I am that I had it done. It was a big decision at the time, definitely, but 12 years later, I rarely think about it. Feel free to email me if you'd like to talk more about it.
posted by rglass at 7:54 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by rglass at 7:54 AM on December 21, 2008
This is highly personal and subjective, so I can only speak to it from the angle of personal and of subjective experience.
I had my nose done, although it was mostly for breathing reasons. If they're fixing any airway issues, do it. I can sleep with my mouth closed. I can float on my back in water for the first time. I don't seem to acquire colds the way I used to. I almost never snore now. I occasionally stop and go, "Wow, I'm breathing ... through my nose." I'm typing right now and my lips are pressed together in a natural manner, rather than looking like a slightly dim mouthbreather. It's completely worth it, for that alone. Since they were more or less rebuilding a lot of the structure of the nose, I told the surgeon my basic plans and concerns, and said, "You've done hundreds of these, so your judgment is better than mine is; go with what you think fits with the rest of my face." My nose got straightened out (way crooked) along the way, and the little Scottish bump I have disappeared.
What's more interesting than getting the airway issues fixed is the reactions of acquaintances who didn't know I was out for surgery. The most common is sort of a puzzled look, then the question, "Have you been working out?" I hadn't changed that up at all. Good plastic surgery is subtle, and nobody notices most surgeries in a conscious way unless they've got before and after pictures and are looking closely. You will notice it, in a conscious fashion, others probably will not.
That having been said, it isn't like you have a huge honker or anything. Yeah, it's bigger than the statistical average. Men have bigger noses than women do, on average, and their noses can be quite a bit broader through the bridge. Your nose has a powerful masculine look that fits well with your deep-set eyes. If you were to have surgery, I'd focus more on that quality you refer to as "bulbous" rather than going wild reducing it, otherwise you may make your face look less masculine.
As someone who could most charitably be described as homely, I plan on getting more done. My satisfaction thus far has been very, very high, not just with the breathing, but also not having a nose that was both crooked and a trifle girly. If it's been bothering you that much, well ... a bunch of strangers on the Internet do not wake up in the morning with your face, but you do. It's pretty easy to say "No, no, you look fine" when there's no consequences.
Also, in therapy vs. plastic surgery, you're looking at paying thousands of dollars being told to feel okay about something which bothers you, or you could pay thousands of dollars to do something about it. I prefer fixing things I consider problems, rather than trying to con myself into thinking that I do not care about the problem. It's not very Buddhist of me, but perhaps you have greater internal resources for that than I.
posted by adipocere at 8:05 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
I had my nose done, although it was mostly for breathing reasons. If they're fixing any airway issues, do it. I can sleep with my mouth closed. I can float on my back in water for the first time. I don't seem to acquire colds the way I used to. I almost never snore now. I occasionally stop and go, "Wow, I'm breathing ... through my nose." I'm typing right now and my lips are pressed together in a natural manner, rather than looking like a slightly dim mouthbreather. It's completely worth it, for that alone. Since they were more or less rebuilding a lot of the structure of the nose, I told the surgeon my basic plans and concerns, and said, "You've done hundreds of these, so your judgment is better than mine is; go with what you think fits with the rest of my face." My nose got straightened out (way crooked) along the way, and the little Scottish bump I have disappeared.
What's more interesting than getting the airway issues fixed is the reactions of acquaintances who didn't know I was out for surgery. The most common is sort of a puzzled look, then the question, "Have you been working out?" I hadn't changed that up at all. Good plastic surgery is subtle, and nobody notices most surgeries in a conscious way unless they've got before and after pictures and are looking closely. You will notice it, in a conscious fashion, others probably will not.
That having been said, it isn't like you have a huge honker or anything. Yeah, it's bigger than the statistical average. Men have bigger noses than women do, on average, and their noses can be quite a bit broader through the bridge. Your nose has a powerful masculine look that fits well with your deep-set eyes. If you were to have surgery, I'd focus more on that quality you refer to as "bulbous" rather than going wild reducing it, otherwise you may make your face look less masculine.
As someone who could most charitably be described as homely, I plan on getting more done. My satisfaction thus far has been very, very high, not just with the breathing, but also not having a nose that was both crooked and a trifle girly. If it's been bothering you that much, well ... a bunch of strangers on the Internet do not wake up in the morning with your face, but you do. It's pretty easy to say "No, no, you look fine" when there's no consequences.
Also, in therapy vs. plastic surgery, you're looking at paying thousands of dollars being told to feel okay about something which bothers you, or you could pay thousands of dollars to do something about it. I prefer fixing things I consider problems, rather than trying to con myself into thinking that I do not care about the problem. It's not very Buddhist of me, but perhaps you have greater internal resources for that than I.
posted by adipocere at 8:05 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
OMG. You're totally cute the way you are. No need for surgery.
posted by All.star at 8:13 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by All.star at 8:13 AM on December 21, 2008
You're cute! A little confidence would do more for you than any surgeon could.
That having been said, if the nose job is what it takes to get that confidence, then maybe it's worth it for you.
posted by AV at 8:25 AM on December 21, 2008
That having been said, if the nose job is what it takes to get that confidence, then maybe it's worth it for you.
posted by AV at 8:25 AM on December 21, 2008
Sigh. You're good-lookin' as is. You definitely don't need a change.
posted by limeonaire at 9:11 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by limeonaire at 9:11 AM on December 21, 2008
You don't need surgery.
By the way: An der Nase eines Mannes erkennt man seinen Johannes
(Something like big noose big dick!)
posted by yoyo_nyc at 9:17 AM on December 21, 2008
By the way: An der Nase eines Mannes erkennt man seinen Johannes
(Something like big noose big dick!)
posted by yoyo_nyc at 9:17 AM on December 21, 2008
another 'you look fine the way you are'. I mean you're not even in Adrien Brody territory, and he's studly with a honker. Also, remember Jennifer Grey.
posted by dawson at 9:17 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by dawson at 9:17 AM on December 21, 2008
Yeah dude, you're good. No worries.
posted by number9dream at 9:37 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by number9dream at 9:37 AM on December 21, 2008
I skimmed your post, saw "rhinoplasty/a chin implant", didn't catch that there were two operations there, and clicked through to your pictures to look at your chin.
Click on picture 1: "Oh wow, he's attractive, what's he doing wanting plastic surgery?"
Click on picture 2: "I guess I can see where he's coming from about his chin being kind of 'weak'. I'm not sure I'd bother with surgery about it, though. I think I'll post that he shouldn't get it done."
So then I click back and look at your post in more detail, and it clicks that "rhinoplasty" means something gets done to your nose, and I'm utterly shocked. Your nose looks fine! I was looking at your face, actively trying to find some sort of imperfection, and the thought that your nose was off in any way didn't even cross my mind, in either the mug shot or profile.
Looking at your virtual shot, the chin does look a little better afterwards, but your nose looks fine to me either way.
I don't know how much this sort of thing costs, but surely there's a better use for the money? Go on a backpacking trip though China and rack up all kinds of interesting stories. I did, and it's been one of the best experience of my life. You won't feel self-conscious about your features at all there, since the features will be so foreign anyway the people won't be thinking about your nose (heh, if anything, "hehe, white people have big noses...").
Get used to not fretting about your looks there, and when you come back maybe you'll feel more confident. Plus, you'll know that you're an interesting person with all sorts of good stories for anyone who wants to talk with you.
Just my thoughts. In any case, don't do anything to your nose. It looks totally fine. The chin does look a little better to me after the surgery, but I'm not sure it looks better enough to justify it over all the other cool things you could do with the money.
posted by losvedir at 9:43 AM on December 21, 2008
Click on picture 1: "Oh wow, he's attractive, what's he doing wanting plastic surgery?"
Click on picture 2: "I guess I can see where he's coming from about his chin being kind of 'weak'. I'm not sure I'd bother with surgery about it, though. I think I'll post that he shouldn't get it done."
So then I click back and look at your post in more detail, and it clicks that "rhinoplasty" means something gets done to your nose, and I'm utterly shocked. Your nose looks fine! I was looking at your face, actively trying to find some sort of imperfection, and the thought that your nose was off in any way didn't even cross my mind, in either the mug shot or profile.
Looking at your virtual shot, the chin does look a little better afterwards, but your nose looks fine to me either way.
I don't know how much this sort of thing costs, but surely there's a better use for the money? Go on a backpacking trip though China and rack up all kinds of interesting stories. I did, and it's been one of the best experience of my life. You won't feel self-conscious about your features at all there, since the features will be so foreign anyway the people won't be thinking about your nose (heh, if anything, "hehe, white people have big noses...").
Get used to not fretting about your looks there, and when you come back maybe you'll feel more confident. Plus, you'll know that you're an interesting person with all sorts of good stories for anyone who wants to talk with you.
Just my thoughts. In any case, don't do anything to your nose. It looks totally fine. The chin does look a little better to me after the surgery, but I'm not sure it looks better enough to justify it over all the other cool things you could do with the money.
posted by losvedir at 9:43 AM on December 21, 2008
Throwing in my vote for "You're pretty cute as you are" and "maybe go talk to a professional who can help you see that for yourself."
Seriously, you remind me of a guy I went to school with and you're both lookers.
I hope this thread helps you gain some perspective.
posted by Kimothy at 9:45 AM on December 21, 2008
Seriously, you remind me of a guy I went to school with and you're both lookers.
I hope this thread helps you gain some perspective.
posted by Kimothy at 9:45 AM on December 21, 2008
I'm a girl about the same age as you.
You're totally cute. You're cuter than average, in fact. You're an attractive guy, and better yet toy have what seems to be a nice personality, judging by your lively facial expression & friendly eyes.
I don't think you need a nose job at all.
In fact, I think your nose is a positive feature, and I prefer your real nose to the surgeon's proposed nose. True, you don't have a small Michael J. Fox nose, but I think small noses are nice on women. To my eye, small noses make men look like sparrows. Big strong features are very attractive.
I do like the chin in the plastic surgeon's "after" photo, but I don't think it's enough of an improvement over your own perfectly fine chin to bother with surgery.
Conclusion: No. You look great as you are.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 9:54 AM on December 21, 2008
You're totally cute. You're cuter than average, in fact. You're an attractive guy, and better yet toy have what seems to be a nice personality, judging by your lively facial expression & friendly eyes.
I don't think you need a nose job at all.
In fact, I think your nose is a positive feature, and I prefer your real nose to the surgeon's proposed nose. True, you don't have a small Michael J. Fox nose, but I think small noses are nice on women. To my eye, small noses make men look like sparrows. Big strong features are very attractive.
I do like the chin in the plastic surgeon's "after" photo, but I don't think it's enough of an improvement over your own perfectly fine chin to bother with surgery.
Conclusion: No. You look great as you are.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 9:54 AM on December 21, 2008
I don't think you need surgery at all, but it's up to you.
a self-anecdote for thought: I too sometimes fixate on "much needed" plastic surgery, but the feeling passes, especially when I see what a true birth defect/NEED for surgery looks like. For me, I think it's just another way of being self-critical. If you're self-critical about yourself in other areas of life (school, work, dating, etc) there might be a pattern here.
What did your friends/family say? I hope they agree with us.
posted by NikitaNikita at 9:56 AM on December 21, 2008
a self-anecdote for thought: I too sometimes fixate on "much needed" plastic surgery, but the feeling passes, especially when I see what a true birth defect/NEED for surgery looks like. For me, I think it's just another way of being self-critical. If you're self-critical about yourself in other areas of life (school, work, dating, etc) there might be a pattern here.
What did your friends/family say? I hope they agree with us.
posted by NikitaNikita at 9:56 AM on December 21, 2008
Your "after" picture looks boring and bland to me. It's just such an average look, nothing interesting to catch the eye. This coming from a straight 20-something woman.
My vote would be to skip the surgery and see the world.
posted by Windigo at 10:06 AM on December 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
My vote would be to skip the surgery and see the world.
posted by Windigo at 10:06 AM on December 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
I also vote for skipping the surgery. When people look at you, they see the whole picture. Accentuate the positive. Work out, be fit and healthy and know that you are a complete package, more than just the sum of your parts. The fact that most of MetaFilter apparently wouldn't kick you out of bed should inspire you to see something different when you look in the mirror.
posted by hermitosis at 10:21 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by hermitosis at 10:21 AM on December 21, 2008
FYI, if you're using photos taken with a point-and-shoot camera to evaluate the way you look: please make sure you're not using a wide-angle view, which is adding distortion. I would go so far as to guess that you are using a wide-angle view, because in the head-on shots I can see the distortion in the picture frame behind you. It's curved. Furthermore, if the camera is close to you, you've probably had to zoom out in order to get your whole face in, which is a wide setting.
A wide-angle lens makes the center of the image (always the nose in conventional portraits) pop forward, while the sides of the image recede. In photographic portraiture class, we had it drilled into us that if we don't want our subject to distort, we should keep the camera far away and zoom in.
Please keep this in mind! Don't evaluate the balance of your features using a distorted view, whether it's from your camera, cameras at parties (usually set on wide to capture as much of the scene as possible), or from the surgeon's camera (after all, he would prefer that you do the surgery, right?).
posted by xo at 10:23 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
A wide-angle lens makes the center of the image (always the nose in conventional portraits) pop forward, while the sides of the image recede. In photographic portraiture class, we had it drilled into us that if we don't want our subject to distort, we should keep the camera far away and zoom in.
Please keep this in mind! Don't evaluate the balance of your features using a distorted view, whether it's from your camera, cameras at parties (usually set on wide to capture as much of the scene as possible), or from the surgeon's camera (after all, he would prefer that you do the surgery, right?).
posted by xo at 10:23 AM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
If you get a smaller nose, girls will think you have a smaller dick.
Spend the money on a vacation.
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:30 AM on December 21, 2008
Spend the money on a vacation.
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:30 AM on December 21, 2008
You look fine to me, and I'm a woman who likes to look at men. In the front-facing shots, the feature I first noticed, and lingered on, was in fact, your large and attractive eyes.
posted by Savannah at 10:31 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by Savannah at 10:31 AM on December 21, 2008
kinda pointless to stick my oar in at this stage, but I was expecting something in excess of pete townsendian nosewise. your nose is fine, not large at all. you're really cute. I'm a dirty old woman with a connoisseurs appreciation for young men, so you can trust my opinion :D
posted by supermedusa at 10:57 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by supermedusa at 10:57 AM on December 21, 2008
also, you look really young. you haven't finished "growing into" your face yet! nor have you developed the psychological maturity to recognize & embrace your own look as YOU and attractive as much for its idiosyncrasies as not!! I used to hate my nose too but just the other day my sister (who I think has a much better nose) expressed envy over mine!!! work on the inner beauty, no one EVER gained or lost the important things in life due to not having a "perfect" nose :)
posted by supermedusa at 11:06 AM on December 21, 2008
posted by supermedusa at 11:06 AM on December 21, 2008
Your nose is fine, your chin is fine. You do indeed look like a normal guy, and if you want to improve your looks there are far cheaper ways to do so. Like growing some sideburns. What the hell is up with people who insist on having no sideburns at all? It looks bizarre.
Also as a previous poster mentioned having a goatee would work wonders for your perception of your chin, though since you have such light coloured hair it might not work. If you decided to try and make it a bit darker though, maybe?
But for god's sake, if you are concerned about your looks, try some less expensive, and less life-altering methods before you go for plastic surgery. I mean, I'd be willing to bet you've had pretty much the exact same haircut since high school, am I right? Switch things up a bit.
posted by paradoxflow at 11:22 AM on December 21, 2008
Also as a previous poster mentioned having a goatee would work wonders for your perception of your chin, though since you have such light coloured hair it might not work. If you decided to try and make it a bit darker though, maybe?
But for god's sake, if you are concerned about your looks, try some less expensive, and less life-altering methods before you go for plastic surgery. I mean, I'd be willing to bet you've had pretty much the exact same haircut since high school, am I right? Switch things up a bit.
posted by paradoxflow at 11:22 AM on December 21, 2008
It's hard to judge what you really look like from a still shot because that's not how we see each other. The way we look has a lot to do with fleeting facial expressions, mannerisms, smiles, and personality. No matter what you decide to do, and I think you could go either way, figure out how to make your face work for you. If you smile and laugh a lot and act like you're comfortable in your own skin it's going to knock you up a couple of points either way. I love it when I meet someone who I don't think is physically attractive but after I've been around them for an hour or so I think "Oh my God, this is the sexiest person in the room". Talking about it later I usually hear something like: "Yeah, he kind of sneaks up on you, doesn't he?. Everyone's in love with him. His girlfriend's really nice and she looks like Gwenneth Paltrow." You see it all the time in actors, nerdy girl/guy in one show, sexy girl/guy in the next, and it's not just hair, clothes and makeup, it's attitude.
Good luck whatever you decide.
posted by BoscosMom at 11:28 AM on December 21, 2008
Good luck whatever you decide.
posted by BoscosMom at 11:28 AM on December 21, 2008
If the OP was ever wondering about his looks, posting this question and having 90+ people telling him he looks cute should have fixed it.
posted by tim_in_oz at 12:10 PM on December 21, 2008
posted by tim_in_oz at 12:10 PM on December 21, 2008
During puberty, boys' noses may get their growth spurt before the rest of their faces. So, you may have formed your opinion of your nose when its proportions were kind of bad, but temporary. Sort of the way their voices may get all screwed up for a while. I think the proportions of your nose are typical, and yes, you are cute.
posted by theora55 at 1:47 PM on December 21, 2008
posted by theora55 at 1:47 PM on December 21, 2008
No! God, no! You're quite a handsome guy. Please don't mess with your nose. It's a very good nose.
posted by rachaelfaith at 2:13 PM on December 21, 2008
posted by rachaelfaith at 2:13 PM on December 21, 2008
You should do what makes you comfortable. We're not the ones who have to live with your face. You do. So it's not about what we think. You're the one who has to be comfortable in the end.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:32 PM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:32 PM on December 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
You look great!
Your nose is perfectly fine. Don't do anything to your nose.
The chin in the after picture does look slightly better. However, i would not go into surgery to "fix it". Yours is fine the way it is.
A girl in my school had a nose job, and due to complications spent a couple of years with wires inside her nostrils. No matter how "ugly" her nose was before the surgery, she looked grotesque afterward.
posted by ye#ara at 3:01 PM on December 21, 2008
Your nose is perfectly fine. Don't do anything to your nose.
The chin in the after picture does look slightly better. However, i would not go into surgery to "fix it". Yours is fine the way it is.
A girl in my school had a nose job, and due to complications spent a couple of years with wires inside her nostrils. No matter how "ugly" her nose was before the surgery, she looked grotesque afterward.
posted by ye#ara at 3:01 PM on December 21, 2008
People die in surgery every day. Are you willing to take a chance at being the corpse with the small nose?
posted by Megafly at 3:35 PM on December 21, 2008
posted by Megafly at 3:35 PM on December 21, 2008
Oh, and just because someone is contemplating plastic surgery doesn't mean they need therapy. God do I get tired of having to say that.
I just wanted to add that while I entirely agree with this, I think that the overwhelming majority of the responses here are that the poster looks pretty good suggests that his perception of himself is inaccurate or dated -- some residual bit of harrowing eighth grade terrors or something -- and that it might be worth exploring to see if it's more that his eyesight needs to be adjusted than that he needs surgery.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 3:37 PM on December 21, 2008
I just wanted to add that while I entirely agree with this, I think that the overwhelming majority of the responses here are that the poster looks pretty good suggests that his perception of himself is inaccurate or dated -- some residual bit of harrowing eighth grade terrors or something -- and that it might be worth exploring to see if it's more that his eyesight needs to be adjusted than that he needs surgery.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 3:37 PM on December 21, 2008
I didn't like the too-small after nose. Your nose gives you maturity, heft and masculinity. All the powerful intelligent men I know have strong noses, and yours isn't that big. You will probably put on a bit of weight over the next ten years (not huge, but most people put on 10-20 lbs in their twenties) and your nose is gonna look a lot smaller on your face when you are thirty. At that point I think you would find the surgical nose too small and want to have more plastic surgery to enlarge it in proportion to your 30 yr old face. Your amazing eyes are definitely your best feature. I have no objections to plastic surgery, but it really doesn't look necessary in your case.
posted by saucysault at 3:55 PM on December 21, 2008
posted by saucysault at 3:55 PM on December 21, 2008
The nose looks fine. It's the jowl-line (or jawline) that's the "problem". I have that same "disappearing jaw" you have. Why the "quotes"? Because what I mean is, in photos (or on camera), the jaw sort of "blends in" to the neck so it looks like you have no definition in your jaw.
In photos (or on TV) it looks like one uninterrupted plain from your cheeks to your neck because of the two-dimensional nature of TV and photos. It's not a "weak chin", it's just not a strong-looking jaw (again- not in person, just on camera).
Lots of actors, TV reporters and anchors- Katie Couric & Bob Costas to name two- have work done where the skin around the jawline is pulled or tightened to make the area more defined (Costas had an eyejob, but that's just because of age).
If you're like me and have no cares about how you look in photographs or video, or it's not important to your livelihood, then I would opt out of any surgery. You don't need anything done.
Spend the money on a few days on an island with your girlfriend and get some color.
posted by Zambrano at 4:12 PM on December 21, 2008
In photos (or on TV) it looks like one uninterrupted plain from your cheeks to your neck because of the two-dimensional nature of TV and photos. It's not a "weak chin", it's just not a strong-looking jaw (again- not in person, just on camera).
Lots of actors, TV reporters and anchors- Katie Couric & Bob Costas to name two- have work done where the skin around the jawline is pulled or tightened to make the area more defined (Costas had an eyejob, but that's just because of age).
If you're like me and have no cares about how you look in photographs or video, or it's not important to your livelihood, then I would opt out of any surgery. You don't need anything done.
Spend the money on a few days on an island with your girlfriend and get some color.
posted by Zambrano at 4:12 PM on December 21, 2008
Dude, we could pass for brothers. I've got a somewhat big nose, with a truly bulbous tip (which, btw, you don't have). I've thought about plastic surgery in a very abstract way, like if I had a bazillion dollars maybe I'd get a nose job, or if there were some sci-fi/nanobot/painless/superfast technique in the future I'd get a nose job. But with these fantasies I always just kind of shrug to myself and say "meh. This is the nose I've got. I'll deal with it."
Because here's what's key. I don't have much real wisdom after 35 years on this planet, but one nugget of capital-T Truth I've discovered is this: people find self-confidence attractive. That's it. Men, women, young, old, doesn't matter. In my work I encounter large groups of people and see the dynamics and interactions between all kinds of people. The people that can be deemed phsically unattractive (a group to which you don't belong anyway) can completely counteract any negative effect of that by being self-confident. It makes people attractive. Think of it as a kind of hypnotism; a physically "ugly" person can be very attractive through sheer personality and confidence.
I'll nth the obvious on this thread that you absolutely don't need a nose job. Hell, I need one more than you and even I won't bother. Also, as men, we have a completely unfair advantage that we don't need to look "perfect" and "pretty" like women. There's some leeway with men's attractiveness, as women are generally much better at overlooking physical "flaws" like this (which, again, you don't have).
To be clear, don't get a nose job. Whatever it is that can improve your self-esteem, spend money on that instead.
posted by zardoz at 5:27 PM on December 21, 2008
Because here's what's key. I don't have much real wisdom after 35 years on this planet, but one nugget of capital-T Truth I've discovered is this: people find self-confidence attractive. That's it. Men, women, young, old, doesn't matter. In my work I encounter large groups of people and see the dynamics and interactions between all kinds of people. The people that can be deemed phsically unattractive (a group to which you don't belong anyway) can completely counteract any negative effect of that by being self-confident. It makes people attractive. Think of it as a kind of hypnotism; a physically "ugly" person can be very attractive through sheer personality and confidence.
I'll nth the obvious on this thread that you absolutely don't need a nose job. Hell, I need one more than you and even I won't bother. Also, as men, we have a completely unfair advantage that we don't need to look "perfect" and "pretty" like women. There's some leeway with men's attractiveness, as women are generally much better at overlooking physical "flaws" like this (which, again, you don't have).
To be clear, don't get a nose job. Whatever it is that can improve your self-esteem, spend money on that instead.
posted by zardoz at 5:27 PM on December 21, 2008
I looked at the pics before I read what the surgery was for, and in all honesty I was left puzzled what you where going to have done until I read it.
So, no.
posted by edgeways at 6:12 PM on December 21, 2008
So, no.
posted by edgeways at 6:12 PM on December 21, 2008
I got braces when I was 24 and all that because I couldn't stand my looks, so I do have sympathy, but hey. You look fine. Really. You wouldn't want 'em to cut into your face, would you...I mean, cut into your face!
More on photography: Rule of thumb for realistic portrait shots is to use a small telephoto lens and shoot from a distance (used to be 75 or 85mm. I haven't gone digital yet so I don't know the equivalent). I've done great stuff on parties with an even larger tele. Never ever use wide-angle lenses, unless you explicitly want the big-nose effect on your pics.
Check whether your home mirror is flat. I'm not kidding. Every time I'm going with the Stena ferry to Kiel, I'm shocked because their huge mirrors are not flat. Took me a while to figure out that it wasn't me going to seeds.
Or stop looking into it.
posted by Namlit at 6:21 PM on December 21, 2008
More on photography: Rule of thumb for realistic portrait shots is to use a small telephoto lens and shoot from a distance (used to be 75 or 85mm. I haven't gone digital yet so I don't know the equivalent). I've done great stuff on parties with an even larger tele. Never ever use wide-angle lenses, unless you explicitly want the big-nose effect on your pics.
Check whether your home mirror is flat. I'm not kidding. Every time I'm going with the Stena ferry to Kiel, I'm shocked because their huge mirrors are not flat. Took me a while to figure out that it wasn't me going to seeds.
Or stop looking into it.
posted by Namlit at 6:21 PM on December 21, 2008
I think you look good now - you have very open and engaging eyes and that is what I see in a photograph of you taking a picture of your own face and hated nose. So that says quite a lot for your character.
We all have things about ourselves we would like to change. You have come this far - got the cash together, found a doc, etc. etc. If you are really unable to decide, flip a coin. You may find that you want to disagree with the coin, and then you'll have your answer.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 6:43 PM on December 21, 2008
We all have things about ourselves we would like to change. You have come this far - got the cash together, found a doc, etc. etc. If you are really unable to decide, flip a coin. You may find that you want to disagree with the coin, and then you'll have your answer.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 6:43 PM on December 21, 2008
Your nose looks fine.
A couple of years ago, I had a septoplasty. My nose (which is bigger than yours) had been broken in my teenage years and had set twisted. It was in no way an attractive nose, but the size, the semitic shape for that matter the pugilistic angle were all family traditions.
The surgeon who did it had to break the bridge of my nose again, so that he could realign my septum properly. In doing so, he didn't just straighten out the misalignment, he also removed its distinctive curvature.
Well, I am not happy. I miss my old nose. Surgery hurt a lot, and it cost a lot, and if it weren't for the incovenience of constant sinus/blocked nose/difficulty breathing I would never have had it done. I have come to terms with my new appearance, and objectively it might be an improvement, but I preferred looking like me.
Love your nose, and other people will love it too.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 6:57 PM on December 21, 2008
A couple of years ago, I had a septoplasty. My nose (which is bigger than yours) had been broken in my teenage years and had set twisted. It was in no way an attractive nose, but the size, the semitic shape for that matter the pugilistic angle were all family traditions.
The surgeon who did it had to break the bridge of my nose again, so that he could realign my septum properly. In doing so, he didn't just straighten out the misalignment, he also removed its distinctive curvature.
Well, I am not happy. I miss my old nose. Surgery hurt a lot, and it cost a lot, and if it weren't for the incovenience of constant sinus/blocked nose/difficulty breathing I would never have had it done. I have come to terms with my new appearance, and objectively it might be an improvement, but I preferred looking like me.
Love your nose, and other people will love it too.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 6:57 PM on December 21, 2008
You know what they say about guys with big noses... ;)
posted by Jacqueline at 7:18 PM on December 21, 2008
posted by Jacqueline at 7:18 PM on December 21, 2008
Your features are quite ordinary and certainly within the "normal," average range. If I saw you on the street I would seriously not remark to myself on the size of your nose. Your belief that your nose is freakishly large/misshapen and absolutely in need of rhinoplasty is irrational.
Maybe doing this will set you free from whatever mental pathology has made you obsessed with your perfectly decent features, and all sorts of benefits will follow. Maybe your problems are pretty much in your head and surgery will do no good whatsoever. I can't overcome my personal prejudices against cosmetic surgery to give objective input on that one, but I feel confident my opinion on your features is objective. I've known many guys with your features and never thought to myself "wow, big nose" or "wow, weak chin." Frankly I think your money would be better spent talking to a therapist.
One last thing to remember: you can always "take back" a decision not to have surgery and do it later. Once you do it you can't take that back.
posted by nanojath at 8:36 PM on December 21, 2008
Maybe doing this will set you free from whatever mental pathology has made you obsessed with your perfectly decent features, and all sorts of benefits will follow. Maybe your problems are pretty much in your head and surgery will do no good whatsoever. I can't overcome my personal prejudices against cosmetic surgery to give objective input on that one, but I feel confident my opinion on your features is objective. I've known many guys with your features and never thought to myself "wow, big nose" or "wow, weak chin." Frankly I think your money would be better spent talking to a therapist.
One last thing to remember: you can always "take back" a decision not to have surgery and do it later. Once you do it you can't take that back.
posted by nanojath at 8:36 PM on December 21, 2008
Yet another straight woman doesn't think you need the surgery
posted by narrativium at 11:38 PM on December 21, 2008
posted by narrativium at 11:38 PM on December 21, 2008
Your nose is fine but you could use some better lighting.
posted by delmoi at 12:33 AM on December 22, 2008
posted by delmoi at 12:33 AM on December 22, 2008
Response by poster: Wow - thank you all so much for your responses. I'll try to be careful with what I say - my appearance is a really sensitive subject for me and it was quite odd and embarrassing at first reading the responses. I really don't want anyone to think this was an attempt at garnering compliments or a confidence-booster - I truly, honestly never imagined that the responses would weigh heavily to one side - I thought I would be receiving some concrete motivation for going through with my surgery - instead, I now have the feeling that what I was so convinced was a physical problem instead is a mental/self-perception problem regarding my appearance. The friends and famiy members that I spoke to had questions regarding why I was doing what I was doing - however, I regarded most of what they said as required instead of truth. Part of my motivation came from my mother (who had it done before I was born) and younger sister's much-more recent rhinoplasty - seeing how happy my sister was (and how much happier she looked afterward) reinforced my desire 10X. I had a long talk with her earlier today - I truly feel ignorant for not realizing that it was the internal self-acceptance that she now had that was the reason for the glow and not that the hump had been removed from her nose.
I honestly can't thank you enough - not for the nice things that were said (even though they were very nice, and I do thank you all for that as well) but for the honesty and sincerity for everything that was written. I didn't stare at myself in the mirror tonight before going out and feeling depressed about what I saw. I have a phone call into my doctor regarding my surgery - I believe that I will still go through with the chin implant and put off the rhinplasty for the current future and think a whole lot more about why the internal motivation was so strong.....at least that is my current decision....but I think I might put them both off for a bit as well.
Also, I do have a therapist - for other reasons, but this was something that came up in our weekly discussions - she was all for the surgery - I'm going to talk to her in depth about this during our next meeting.
posted by Hogermite at 12:51 AM on December 22, 2008
I honestly can't thank you enough - not for the nice things that were said (even though they were very nice, and I do thank you all for that as well) but for the honesty and sincerity for everything that was written. I didn't stare at myself in the mirror tonight before going out and feeling depressed about what I saw. I have a phone call into my doctor regarding my surgery - I believe that I will still go through with the chin implant and put off the rhinplasty for the current future and think a whole lot more about why the internal motivation was so strong.....at least that is my current decision....but I think I might put them both off for a bit as well.
Also, I do have a therapist - for other reasons, but this was something that came up in our weekly discussions - she was all for the surgery - I'm going to talk to her in depth about this during our next meeting.
posted by Hogermite at 12:51 AM on December 22, 2008
That's great Hogermite! I think you should both off, though--it sounds like you've got a different perspective on things as a result of this thread, and if nothing else, you've learned to question the little voice in your head telling you to fix something. Maybe you're not really in a position to decide to go get something surgically stuck on to your chin in three weeks.
And I want to add, again, I really don't think you need either.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 2:51 AM on December 22, 2008
And I want to add, again, I really don't think you need either.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 2:51 AM on December 22, 2008
Yeah, you definitely don't need either, and I reckon you should wait a while to decide whether you really WANT either. All you need is a bit of self confidence.
posted by indienial at 3:39 AM on December 22, 2008
posted by indienial at 3:39 AM on December 22, 2008
Hey, just wanted to say, I didn't think you were fishing for compliments. I thought you were really brave to put your face out there and say "What d'ya reckon?" without any weasel words, like be kind, it's my first time.
posted by b33j at 3:57 AM on December 22, 2008
posted by b33j at 3:57 AM on December 22, 2008
Your face looks great as is.
Please consider this: The celebrities/ personalities that we see in movies, shows, and photos more often than not have had rhinoplasty. One of the reasons they do this is that quite often, an average sized nose, is slightly magnified by lights and flash photography and looks bigger in pictures. If you look through images of celebrities, and look closely, you will see that their noses have often been almost freakishly altered when compared with the dimensions of their faces and arrangements of their features. They look too skinny, too pointy, and too infantile.
Do not judge your nose from photos of yourself! (and in any case, your nose looks fine in the pics you supplied.)
posted by hellboundforcheddar at 7:07 AM on December 22, 2008
Please consider this: The celebrities/ personalities that we see in movies, shows, and photos more often than not have had rhinoplasty. One of the reasons they do this is that quite often, an average sized nose, is slightly magnified by lights and flash photography and looks bigger in pictures. If you look through images of celebrities, and look closely, you will see that their noses have often been almost freakishly altered when compared with the dimensions of their faces and arrangements of their features. They look too skinny, too pointy, and too infantile.
Do not judge your nose from photos of yourself! (and in any case, your nose looks fine in the pics you supplied.)
posted by hellboundforcheddar at 7:07 AM on December 22, 2008
Piling on the 'leave it' tip - you look great - you look like you!
posted by Chairboy at 7:17 AM on December 22, 2008
posted by Chairboy at 7:17 AM on December 22, 2008
Coming in late, but you look great as you are. Very handsome!
posted by pointystick at 7:25 AM on December 22, 2008
posted by pointystick at 7:25 AM on December 22, 2008
Best answer: Thanks for the update! Whatever your eventual decision, I feel confident that you are now making it from a more realistic perspective.
I'm not at all surprised that your therapist would support your decision to have the surgery. Often the therapist's job is be supportive of your decisions, as long as they are not destructive to yourself or others, espeically if you communicated that you felt it would help your self-image. I'm sure the therapist will be even more supportive of having better self-image and confidence without the surgery.
It was very brave of you to put this question out, with photos and all! I don't know if I could have done the same thing. But your current state of introspection and self-awareness may very well be just the beginning of some great, positive changes that will be with you forever. Good luck!
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 8:07 AM on December 22, 2008
I'm not at all surprised that your therapist would support your decision to have the surgery. Often the therapist's job is be supportive of your decisions, as long as they are not destructive to yourself or others, espeically if you communicated that you felt it would help your self-image. I'm sure the therapist will be even more supportive of having better self-image and confidence without the surgery.
It was very brave of you to put this question out, with photos and all! I don't know if I could have done the same thing. But your current state of introspection and self-awareness may very well be just the beginning of some great, positive changes that will be with you forever. Good luck!
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 8:07 AM on December 22, 2008
I'm glad you updated, but I'm still gonna say leave your nose alone. It's a good, strong, HANDSOME nose.
Good luck, Hogermite!
posted by deborah at 11:14 AM on December 22, 2008
Good luck, Hogermite!
posted by deborah at 11:14 AM on December 22, 2008
Just adding to the chorus of ladies saying that you're quite attractive as-is and that your nose is strong and suits you. IF you are sure that you want SOMETHING, I would say you're right to go with the chin one over your nose, but even that is only noticeable in direct profile when one is looking on purpose for the reason someone might have work done, so.
I actually had some sort of chin thing done myself as a teenager (I don't remember much about it - it was done in conjunction with a medically-necessary jaw surgery for TMJ) and they did everything through the inside of my mouth with no visible scars and it turned out fine, fwiw.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
posted by oblique red at 2:43 PM on December 22, 2008
I actually had some sort of chin thing done myself as a teenager (I don't remember much about it - it was done in conjunction with a medically-necessary jaw surgery for TMJ) and they did everything through the inside of my mouth with no visible scars and it turned out fine, fwiw.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
posted by oblique red at 2:43 PM on December 22, 2008
Hey- girl, your age, back again. So glad to hear you put the rhinoplasty on hold- I looked at the pics again totally stand by my assertion, and that of so many otheres, that man, do you ever NOT need it.
I do think you'd look cuter with sideburns though- having them shaved up above your ears looks weird to me. Nice sideburns cut level with the bottoms of your ears, or even slightly longer- would look great.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 12:33 AM on December 26, 2008
I do think you'd look cuter with sideburns though- having them shaved up above your ears looks weird to me. Nice sideburns cut level with the bottoms of your ears, or even slightly longer- would look great.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 12:33 AM on December 26, 2008
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posted by Hogermite at 10:41 PM on December 20, 2008