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Help me stop my internet porn habit.
October 13, 2004 2:47 PM   Subscribe

Please post links, anecdotes, horror stories, etc. designed to scare me out of my internet porn habit, focusing on ethical, moral, and legal issues. I want to stop cold turkey and the only way out is through my liberal guilt.
posted by anonymous to Society & Culture (13 answers total)
 
Read about the Deep Throat girl, and don't read any of the (ahem) rebuttals.
posted by holloway at 3:33 PM on October 13, 2004


I'm actually glad you asked this question. It's worried me a bit too. For example, when watching a porn I am often horrified (well, dismayed) to see the "actors" fail to use a condom. Am I condoning unsafe sex by continuing to watch? Am I supporting an industry that contributes in whatever small way to the spread of AIDS and other disesases? Also, are these "actors" truly willing in their participation? Of course the presumption is that all sex in porn is consensual, but I'm talking more about the social circumstances that led to this person's having sex on tape: poverty, addiction, poor self-image, etc etc.

Accountability, however, is difficult to adjudicate. If you eat commercial chicken or meat are you ethically liable for the horrors of factory farming? Some would say yes, many would say no. Ultimately, it's your call.
posted by adrober at 4:05 PM on October 13, 2004


I don't think there's anything unethical, immoral, or illegal about internet porn in the abstract.

However, is it really how you want to be spending your time? If not, I recommend taking a look at the book More Than This:...Overcoming Soft Addictions by Judith Wright (a capsule review of the book can be found in this article.

Note: the book is a little too New Age happy-crappy for my taste, but it does include some pretty concrete suggestions and exercises for getting yourself out of some of the ruts and obsessions that waste your time and energy.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:29 PM on October 13, 2004


There's suicides and sexually transmitted diseases for a start.

You may also find it instructive to watch the documentaries Show Me Your Soul and Not A Love Story. The former details the cookie cutter mechanics of becoming a porn actress in the modern age; the latter the dehumanizing nature and inherent misogyny involved in all areas of the porn industry.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 4:48 PM on October 13, 2004


Screw that (pun) moralistic stuff. The reason you should shake the i-net porn monkey is because it will desensitize you to normal sex.

And if you don't have a girlfriend, it can set up unrealistic expectations, which may contribute to keeping you without a girlfriend.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:17 PM on October 13, 2004


If it troubles you so, here's the solution: never pay for porn.

With that one decision you guarrantee that your actions never provide an incentive toward whatever about worries you about the porn

Done.
posted by NortonDC at 5:18 PM on October 13, 2004


Craptastic.

"...your actions never provide an incentive for whatever worries you about porn."
posted by NortonDC at 5:19 PM on October 13, 2004


what Civil_Disobedient said.

i've been involved with men whose thing for porn ended up contributing to the end of our relationships...not because i'm opposed to porn in the abstract (i tend to think what dan savage says about it just being something partners have to deal with as a given a lot of the time) but because they had lost touch with real intimacy and had expectations i couldn't fulfill. basically, ask yourself it messes up your satisfaction with your sex life with another person. if it does, that's a pretty good reason to rethink how much time you spend with net porn.

and the lovelace story is indeed tragic.
posted by ifjuly at 8:28 PM on October 13, 2004


never pay for porn

A lot of internet porn is ad-supported
posted by Tlogmer at 10:23 PM on October 13, 2004


Treat it like any addiction you'd like to kick. See how long you can go without it, find other things to do with your time, try playing with your hosts file so you can ban yourself from porn for a day.

I must admit when I was about 18-19, I was living at home and one summer we had a satellite (the big old kinds) that got all the porn in the world (literally). My folks were at work all day, it was summer, and let's just say I had a hard time doing anything but watch TV all day. After a couple weeks of it I kind of realized how pointless it was and how much of a waste of time it was. So I got a job and did a ton of yardwork instead, and stopped watching TV when no one was around, to force myself off it.
posted by mathowie at 11:28 PM on October 13, 2004


The reason you should shake the i-net porn monkey is because it will desensitize you to normal sex.

And if you don't have a girlfriend, it can set up unrealistic expectations, which may contribute to keeping you without a girlfriend.


I don't agree with this.. I think the i-porn can be used to fill the space between two partners, if one has more desire for sex than the other. In that way, it can save a relationship.

The moral and ethical concerns still abound, though..
posted by ascullion at 3:41 AM on October 14, 2004


A lot of internet porn is ad-supported

So don't click through the ads. Plus, hasn't Skallas taught you anything?
posted by NortonDC at 5:10 AM on October 14, 2004


Just don't look. Simplistic, but effective if you can follow it. Consider instead something ELSE that you might enjoy doing -- going to the library, taking a walk, posting on MeFi, cooking a meal, charity work, learning a new skill or hobby, etc, etc, etc. Find something else -- anything else -- to occupy your time.

And I'm not sure if it will help -- but when you imagine porn, try to picture your mother, sister, wife, or (worst) daughter in the scene -- and then see if your attitude towards it changes (hopefully *against* it).

Good luck. You can do it.
posted by davidmsc at 9:50 PM on October 15, 2004


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