Bump on junk has me worried. Doctor?

October 9, 2008 7:16 AM

I have a small. hard bump on my penis. Due to my circumstances, I would have an extremely hard time seeing a doctor. Help?

I guess something of comparable size is the ball of a ballpoint pen. It is under the skin, on top of my penis, near the base of the shaft. Because of my age (teen), I would have a very hard time seeing a doctor without my parents' knowledge or assistance. I do not want to bring this up to them.

I'm certain this isn't an STD because I've only had sex once before and it was both of our first times. This will almost certainly have an effect on my sex life which is just begging to become more regular.

1)Does anyone have any ideas that would assist me in taking care of this myself?
2) Is there some place (like a clinic?) I can go to a doctor anonymously and conveniently? (free is major bonus)

In L.A.

posted by anonymous to health & fitness (30 comments total)

Probably a burst blood vessel, been there before. Will gradually go away.

Tell your folks, its not a big deal this stuff just happens.

Get a doctor to check it out when you get a chance just to ensure it is not something else.

Not in a location just to ignore completely.
posted by vidarling at 7:31 AM on October 9, 2008

Could also be a cyst; a doctor can remove them in about 5 minutes.
posted by crapmatic at 7:34 AM on October 9, 2008

I do not want to bring this up to them.

This is your penis, kid. You only get one. Tell your parents to take you to the doctor.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:42 AM on October 9, 2008 [21 favorites]

"This will almost certainly have an effect on my sex life which is just begging to become more regular."

Why? Is it causing pain? I can't see it getting in the way at that size. You also haven't said how long it's been there. If you've had it for years without a change in size it's a different thing than if this showed up last week and has doubled in size since then.

And you might be able to get someone else to take you besides your parents.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:42 AM on October 9, 2008

Could be a blocked hair follicle.
posted by gene_machine at 7:43 AM on October 9, 2008

You should just tell your parents. Awkward, I know, but unless they're hypersensitive about these sorts of things, chances are they assume think it's STD-related. I'm not a big advocate of dishonesty, but if they ask you if you've had sex you could always just lie and say no. Whatever gets you to the doctor.
posted by Nattie at 7:51 AM on October 9, 2008

To clarify, don't lie to the doctor.
posted by Nattie at 7:52 AM on October 9, 2008

Argh, it's too early. I mean that they won't assume it's STD-related. Three posts in a row, woo!
posted by Nattie at 7:52 AM on October 9, 2008

I don't have medical advice for you but I was in a similar situation as you when I was a teen of wanting to discuss something with a doctor that I was too embarassed to discuss with my parents.

What I did was lie to my parents about what the condition was but insisted I needed to see a doctor. In my case I told them the area around my hernia (which was operated on when I was a small kid) was causing me pain and perhaps I should see a doctor. Once in the doctor's office, by myself, I told him the complete truth and he was completely understanding and helpful.

In retrospect I should have just told my parents but, heck, I was a teen. And so are you. :)
posted by vacapinta at 7:58 AM on October 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

Rub some dirt on it and get back in the game kid.

Or, if you can't (why not?) ask your parents, is there a school social worker who can help?
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:06 AM on October 9, 2008

Agree with those who say just tell your parents, but if you REALLY don't want to, there are plenty of free clinics around LA, such as this or this. They seem to be more reproductive health-focused (rather than dermatological, etc) and they might just tell you to see a regular doctor, but it might be worth a shot.
posted by acidic at 8:18 AM on October 9, 2008

Is there a free clinic in your area? Planned Parenthood and other free clinics are usually available for this type of stuff. I don't know where you live but if it's in a large city, I'd be more than happy to try to help you find one.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:23 AM on October 9, 2008

I would have a very hard time seeing a doctor without my parents' knowledge or assistance. I do not want to bring this up to them.

What, do you want to wait till it falls off?

It's a vital organ. Go see the doctor. Don't trust random internet people to diagnose a problem they have very little information about.

Imagine the repercussions if this is actually serious and you ignore it. Being embarassed is better than losing your dick.
posted by splice at 8:25 AM on October 9, 2008

What I did was lie to my parents about what the condition was but insisted I needed to see a doctor.

This is what I was gonna say. Tell them your knee hurts or something. Don't make it anything TOO specific, or you could end up at a specialist.
posted by inigo2 at 8:26 AM on October 9, 2008

I fail to see the problem. Go to a doctor, pay the copay, call it a day. If you don't drive, take public transport.
posted by piedmont at 8:32 AM on October 9, 2008

Could this be it?

Penile papules
What it looks like: Also known as "pearls," penile papules manifest themselves as small, white- or flesh-colored bumps on the surface of the penis.

What causes it: No known cause for penile papules has been discovered. Its frequency is also something of a mystery: the reported portion of the affected male population has ranged everywhere from 8% to 48%. Given those statistics, penile papules are fairly frequent among common penile problems.

How to treat it: As penile papules are completely harmless, there is no need to treat them. For those who wish to remove them for cosmetic reasons, laser surgery is available.

From here.
posted by LunaticFringe at 8:33 AM on October 9, 2008

Go to a doctor, pay the copay, call it a day.

And then steal the Explanation of Benefits from the mail a few weeks later?

And lemmie tell ya, the free clinic is a pretty scary place for a teen to do to alone. If you want to see a doctor, I think you need to tell your parents.

At the same time (and I am NOT a doctor), it doesn't sound so serious. I think LunaticFringe nailed it.
posted by meta_eli at 8:59 AM on October 9, 2008

Planned Parenthood will rule out any STDs (yes, I know, you probably don't have one), but can also tell you if it might be a capillary (broken blood vessel) or something else.

Also, check your state laws. In some places if you're over 16, your health concerns cannot be shared by doctors with your parents.
posted by zizzle at 9:27 AM on October 9, 2008

It's understandable that you don't want to discuss your sex life and/or your penis with your parents. This is why Planned Parenthood exists. They are free, confidential and a reliable resource for just this sort of thing.

They're all over LA - call for your local chapter 1-800-576-5544 and make an appointment, right now.

It's your penis, dude. Go take care of it.
posted by Space Kitty at 10:10 AM on October 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

tell your parents it's something in your testicle, if they have any sense they'll shit themselves and take you to the doctor. then get in, and tell him/her the truth. don't fuck around with your health like that
posted by matteo at 10:29 AM on October 9, 2008

This is your penis, kid. You only get one. Tell your parents to take you to the doctor.

Agreed. Tell 'em. I once had a soreness in my penis in high school and my Protestant, extremely conservative mother immediately made an appointment with the doctor to have it checked out. Dammit, she wanted grandchildren and she wasn't going to let anything damage my "babymaker." Little did she know I would one day tell her I'm gay and was planning to use my babymaker to perform decidedly unholy activities. Thanks for saving my penis, mom!
posted by HotPatatta at 10:57 AM on October 9, 2008 [5 favorites]

Hey, kid, I'm in LA and I have one of those things too. At my last physical, I had to get my gumption up and ask the doc about it. He took a brief look while I counted ceiling tiles and then said, y'know, it's nothing, but we see them all the time. Dudes get bumps on their dicks and freak out.

The relief I felt was pretty huge. I'd been talking myself into all sorts of horror show scenarios ("OMG I HAVE DICK CANCER!" "MY EX-GIRLFRIEND CHEATED ON ME SHE GAVE ME THE HPV!") and to find out it was nothing was pretty nice.

The other thing that came to me, while I was getting a greased thumb up my ass and my balls checked for heft, is that, really, there's nothing there to be embarrassed about. It's the doctor's job to look at my balls, and, frankly, mine aren't gonna be that memorable for him (maybe next time I'll draw on 'em with a sharpie).

And now, hell, I'm writing about my dick bumps on the internet—on a site that both my parents read. Why not? I didn't do anything wrong, and it's just body weirdness. Why be ashamed of it? Why not let a professional look at your wang for a moment so he can calm you down? Why not tell your dad that hey, you got a dick bump that you want him to look at? This is one of those opportunities to act like an adult and realize that most things are no big deal and you can rely on people whose job it is to tell you that things are no big deal.

If you're still freaked out after all of that, well, sure, get yourself to a free clinic. But you don't have to be freaked out—stuff like this happens to everyone. Even your parents.

(Plus, c'mon, you were using a condom, right? See? That makes it, like, one hundred times less likely that it's an STD. Relax and remember that for a doctor, looking at your body is like a plumber looking at pipes or a mechanic looking at a car. You don't worry whether your mechanic will judge you for using synthetic coolant.)

Soon enough, you too can be charging folks $10 to look at the bump on your dick!
posted by klangklangston at 11:06 AM on October 9, 2008 [6 favorites]

Klangklangston has the best advice possible in a situation like this. yes, LunaticFringe might be right, but please don't assume so. tell your parents, go to a doctor, get it checked out, because it's your health and a doctor doesn't care
posted by purpletangerine at 12:15 PM on October 9, 2008

This why condoms are such wonderful things. A thin piece of latex protects you from having to discuss your sex life with Mum and Dad.

It doesn't sound like an STD but I would like to take this opportunity to point out that you're in NO position to know for sure that it was your partner's first time. We can never assume ANYTHING about the sex lives of our prospective parters (nor their past partners or their partners partners...).
posted by bonobothegreat at 12:21 PM on October 9, 2008

Chances are good that it's not anything. BUT! You are entitled to confidential care, even as a minor.

According to this website, California law permits you to get confidential care for STDs (among other things) from the age of 12 on, and your doctor is prohibited from releasing any information about it to anyone, unless you've given written consent.

Here's the pertinent law, which I copied from a PDF on their site.

HIV/AIDS. (Cal. Family Code § 6926).
DIAGNOSIS AND/OR
TREATMENT FOR SEXUALLY
TRANSMITTED DISEASES

A minor 12 years of age or older who may have
come into contact with a sexually transmitted
disease may consent to medical care related to
the diagnosis or treatment of the disease. (Cal.
Family Code § 6926).
The health care provider is not permitted to inform a
arent or legal guardian without minor’s consent. The
provider can only share the minor’s medical records with
a signed authorization from the minor. (Cal. Health &
Safety Code §§ 123110(a), 123115(a)(1); Cal. Civ. Code
§§ 56.10, 56.11).


posted by Stewriffic at 1:53 PM on October 9, 2008

Tell you parents something is wrong with your penis and you want to see a doctor. If you want, don't tell them you are sexually active (but I wouldn't recommend lying).

Tell the doctor everything. 99% chance its nothing. And the doctor CANNOT BY LAW tell your parents anything.
posted by ruwan at 2:19 PM on October 9, 2008

I just want to say that I do not recommend going to a school social worker. Although I'm well aware that not *all* cases are the same, I ran into a problem with a school social worker when I was younger. I went to her under completely different circumstances, looking for guidance, and she told me everything I said would be confidential. Next thing I know, my mom is bringing it up at home, my grandmother (who was an employee at the school) knew what had gone on, and I had two teachers making comments about my situation during class. I had not whispered a word to anyone but the social worker.

If you are going to confide in anyone but your parents, please please confide in an adult you know you can trust. There's nothing worse than your parents finding out another way, because they will assume the worst. Honestly, the best thing you could do is to just go to them. They are your parents. They've changed your diapers. It's pretty easy to forget that sometimes. If you don't want to bring up the sex, just tell them you haven't been feeling well and see if they can get you into the doctor. Once you're there, work out the details with your doctor.

Hope this helps.
posted by jaynedanger at 2:40 PM on October 9, 2008

Could you tell your parents that you need to go to the doctor about something else?

You could also probably go to Planned Parenthood.
posted by thebrokenmuse at 4:10 PM on October 9, 2008

here's an idea: call your doctor. explain what it is, ask if it's something you need to worry about. he might be able to give you some home care options (warm compresses, etc) you can try before going in for an exam.

if the doctor says it's a good idea to come in for an exam, suck it up and tell your folks. you don't have to give them the gory details, just say, "i noticed a bump on my skin in a bad place and talked to dr. xx and s/he thinks i should come in to see him/her." you don't have to tell them you are sexually active.
posted by thinkingwoman at 5:22 PM on October 9, 2008

You can make your own doctor's appointment and walk, take a bus or have a friend drive you there if you don't drive. You don't need your parent's permission to sneak off to a doctor's appointment. Good luck!
posted by infinityjinx at 6:10 PM on October 9, 2008