Office Enhancements

September 19, 2008 7:29 AM

My co-worker was just granted US citizenship and is out of the office today, in what crafty ways can we "enhance" his office while he is out...

We have only the resources in our office (printer, office supplies, etc) and maybe the CVS nearby.

He previously held dual citizenships in Nicaragua and Costa Rica. Any ideas besides plastering his office with American Flags?

And this is URGENT since he will be back on Monday, we have to do it this afternoon....

posted by kenbennedy to grab bag (20 answers total)

Fill his office with red, white and blue balloons.
posted by infinitewindow at 7:35 AM on September 19, 2008

- Has he expressed a preference in the Presidential election? Print out large posters of his favorite candidate.
- Make a card/poster of him with green skin joking about how he's no longer a resident alien.
- Make him an "American citizen starter kit" with copy of Constitution, football schedule, etc.
- Treat the situation with more gravitas, skip the pranks and take him to lunch.
posted by Soliloquy at 7:40 AM on September 19, 2008

To the flags, I'd add some stereotypical American foodstuffs--an apple pie, a pack of hot dogs, etc.
posted by divka at 7:41 AM on September 19, 2008

Hang copies of the Declaration of Independence along with the flags and balloons. Bill of Rights too.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:42 AM on September 19, 2008

I say go completely overboard. Red, white and blue everything. Streamers, balloons, Uncle Sam hats, you name it-- make it look like the 4th of July puked in the dude's office. Top it off with a boombox playing Sousa marches.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:50 AM on September 19, 2008

Mock up an official-linking, bulging IRS envelope containing his New Citizen Tax Bill?

(With a red, white & blue "just kidding!!!" message inside!)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 7:51 AM on September 19, 2008

I really like the "make it look like the 4th of July puked in the dude's office" suggestion, and some of my coworkers really like the "Make a card/poster of him with green skin joking about how he's no longer a resident alien" suggestion.

Might have to implement both, maybe the picture one via email. Thanks, and keep it coming...
posted by kenbennedy at 7:55 AM on September 19, 2008

Print out a voter registration form for him.
posted by hooray at 8:07 AM on September 19, 2008 [9 favorites]

Download . wavs of The Star Spangled Banner, America The Beautiful, etc. and set them to play for every single notification on his computer - startup, shutdown, new email, reminders, etc.
posted by essexjan at 8:11 AM on September 19, 2008 [4 favorites]

For a coworker's new baby, we filled his cube with pink and white balloons. Put a little confetti in each balloon, fill them with helium, and throw a blanket over the top of the cube, with the balloons underneath. Take straight pins and stick them in the ceiling tiles over the cube (assuming you have the standard corporate drop-ceiling). When the blanket's pulled off teh balloons go up, some hit the pins, pop, and confetti everywhere.


Note: Housekeeping services may hate you for this.
posted by pupdog at 8:16 AM on September 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

Replace all his family photos with those of George Bush's family.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:30 AM on September 19, 2008 [4 favorites]

All of the above, plus blare some John Philip Sousa. Nothing screams AMERCICA! like John Philip Sousa. Which must be LOUD.
posted by Koko at 8:31 AM on September 19, 2008

Yeah, I'd say go to CVS and get one of those little apple pie snacks, and perhaps a baseball, and a model Chevy if you can find one :)
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 8:32 AM on September 19, 2008

AMERICA, not AMERCICA.
posted by Koko at 8:33 AM on September 19, 2008

> Nothing screams AMERCICA! like John Philip Sousa. Which must be LOUD.

Might I suggest a little of this guy instead? Equally loud, of course.
posted by xbonesgt at 8:49 AM on September 19, 2008

Previously. Lots more suggestions!
posted by SuperSquirrel at 8:52 AM on September 19, 2008

More email fodder. Bonus points if you set up something that "Rick Rolls" him to the vid.
posted by kitkatcathy at 9:18 AM on September 19, 2008

We played a crappy recording of "Proud to Be An American" for a friend's citizenship celebration and made her wear some cheesy USA stuff. Doing this in a public place made it extra fun.
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 9:39 AM on September 19, 2008

Can someone in your department do a semi-non-lame W impression? Have them call the co-worker's voicemail and leave a mock-confused congratulatory message as if from the President.
posted by aught at 12:55 PM on September 19, 2008

I love all this! Especially the Sousa. I hope you post about what you guys did for your coworker. What did they do for Apu on that one episode of The Simpsons...hm...


Oh, bunting. You need bunting. Lots of bunting.
posted by Neofelis at 1:43 PM on September 19, 2008