Help Translating Lyrics for a Music Composition

September 4, 2008 10:16 PM

I am a composer looking to score a piece for orchestra and Soprano Voice. I wrote it in English, and after a bit of reading attempted to translate it into latin using a dictionary and grammar book. It's not gonna be perfect, but I gave it an honest attempt, and hope the metafilter community can help me to streamline it and help me with some grammer isses I don't understand (ie.ablative or accusitive). thanks much! (by the way, the meter is 4/4 and a slow tempo,flowing legato melody, but once I have a working translation I'll make it fit)

Here are the lyrics I wrote in English...

In English:

Blessed is a man who finds his way
A Champion amongst his peers
Foolish is a man content in his solitude
A face in a crowd of many

Death becomes a heart in the void
Bleak is his mind
Collapsed is his body
Broken is his Spirt

Arise! For the path of light is before you
Blessings come not to those who wait
But rather he who seeks enlightenment and wisdom
And the sword of the Champion!

Latin Translation Attempt...

Beatus vir qui comperit secta
Domitor inter comparibus
Insipiens vir impletus solitudine
Os globo multigeno

Lectum evenire animus est vacuus
Vastus cor cordis
Ruinae aegrotus
Adflictus

Consurge! Ergo semita praelucet vos
Bona deserit eos qui exspectant
Immo vir petur inlumino et sapientam
Et gladius Domitoris!

posted by FireStyle to Writing & Language (3 answers total)

I had someone ask me to translate a certificate to Latin and found this online service, The Latin Translator which was quite affordable. A plus for you is that the translator will provide you with a recording of the spoken Latin. I have a degree in Latin but am completely rusty. The credentials for the owner are impeccable.
posted by elle.jeezy at 1:46 AM on September 5, 2008

Response by poster: any clue howclosemy translation attempt is? Im curious to know!
posted by FireStyle at 10:36 AM on September 5, 2008

Like I said, my Latin is rusty; I'd have to pull out a dictionary and grammar as well. Unfortunately I didn't do a lot of translating TO latin, but the reverse.

It's really better to run it by the service like I suggested because he'll know the appropriate words and tenses to use. You've really written a piece of poetry that can probably be translated to match the meter of your piece.
posted by elle.jeezy at 2:59 PM on September 6, 2008