Everyone loses...except the audience
September 3, 2008 12:02 PM Subscribe
I'm one of those people who takes "teh internetz" seriously, and nothing turns me on quite like a verbal smackdown for the ages. What are some of the most memorable instances of rhetorical tai chi you've come across that can send my libido into overdrive?
CWAA, I think you meant this clip, unless that was rhetorical tai chi that swept the weatherman's legs out from under him.
posted by Challahtronix at 12:22 PM on September 3, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Challahtronix at 12:22 PM on September 3, 2008 [2 favorites]
This may not be exactly what you're looking for, but...
This is a link to the preserved text of a legendary thread on a server forum regarding a trade scam on Everquest years ago. I don't know anyone involved, I did not even play on that server, but I stumbled across it years ago. I found the whole thing hysterical and still remember how funny it was years later.
It may not make sense to you if you're not familiar with MMORPGs, but I'm guessing you probably are. Also there is a swear word in LARGE TEXT immediately visible when you click the link, so I guess it's NSFW.
posted by skallagrim at 12:27 PM on September 3, 2008
This is a link to the preserved text of a legendary thread on a server forum regarding a trade scam on Everquest years ago. I don't know anyone involved, I did not even play on that server, but I stumbled across it years ago. I found the whole thing hysterical and still remember how funny it was years later.
It may not make sense to you if you're not familiar with MMORPGs, but I'm guessing you probably are. Also there is a swear word in LARGE TEXT immediately visible when you click the link, so I guess it's NSFW.
posted by skallagrim at 12:27 PM on September 3, 2008
Response by poster: CWAA, I think you meant this clip, unless that was rhetorical tai chi that swept the weatherman's legs out from under him.
No, I'm talking about the comments in my link.
posted by Christ, what an asshole at 12:34 PM on September 3, 2008
No, I'm talking about the comments in my link.
posted by Christ, what an asshole at 12:34 PM on September 3, 2008
Chris Matthews v. Kevin James
John Stewart v. Tucker Carlson (this one cost Tucker his job)
posted by Maxwell_Smart at 12:35 PM on September 3, 2008 [3 favorites]
John Stewart v. Tucker Carlson (this one cost Tucker his job)
posted by Maxwell_Smart at 12:35 PM on September 3, 2008 [3 favorites]
There's the article that gave birth to the term 'Fisking'
And Pat Metheny's smackdown of Kenny G.
posted by mattholomew at 12:51 PM on September 3, 2008 [2 favorites]
And Pat Metheny's smackdown of Kenny G.
posted by mattholomew at 12:51 PM on September 3, 2008 [2 favorites]
I had read that Metheny piece before. Simply brilliant, and of course so very true.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 1:04 PM on September 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 1:04 PM on September 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
Some more thoughts - Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens are both virtuosos at this sort of thing, although they do it so much and so often that I can't recall a single instance -- just plugging those names into Youtube should come up with plenty of examples.
posted by mattholomew at 1:14 PM on September 3, 2008
posted by mattholomew at 1:14 PM on September 3, 2008
That weatherman clip is staged.
posted by Zambrano at 1:28 PM on September 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Zambrano at 1:28 PM on September 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
...I'm a little confused, so a question for the OP -- you said you're looking for text, but you posted a clip as your example, and that's what responses are coming in. Are you looking for video or written word?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:49 PM on September 3, 2008
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:49 PM on September 3, 2008
Response by poster: Both work. I think I misdirected people because I failed to point out that the ownage happened in the comments of the first link.
posted by Christ, what an asshole at 2:00 PM on September 3, 2008
posted by Christ, what an asshole at 2:00 PM on September 3, 2008
Can you point out exactly where in the thread the ownage occurs? It all looks fake to me.
posted by carsonb at 2:26 PM on September 3, 2008
posted by carsonb at 2:26 PM on September 3, 2008
Jamie Whyte is one of my favourite people ever and is quite adept at smacking shit down (check his Times pieces).
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:08 PM on September 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:08 PM on September 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
How about a mefi beatdown? Languagehat was handily reproached for letting slip a loose one in this thread. And so commenced a popularity contest where the favorites piled on. (nothing against lh).
posted by Student of Man at 3:31 PM on September 3, 2008
posted by Student of Man at 3:31 PM on September 3, 2008
Obscure policy filter: David Lange, Prime Minister of New Zealand, argues that nuclear weapons are morally indefensible in a debate at the Oxford Union in 1985, against Jerry Falwell.
posted by media_itoku at 3:34 PM on September 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by media_itoku at 3:34 PM on September 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
It's a beautiful piece of work, isn't it, media_itoku? If only politicians this day had such wisdom, such intellect, such wit and such class.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:51 PM on September 3, 2008
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:51 PM on September 3, 2008
And the classic Gore Vidal takedown of William F Buckley at the 1968 Democratic Convention.
posted by Neiltupper at 5:44 PM on September 3, 2008
posted by Neiltupper at 5:44 PM on September 3, 2008
David Letterman mocks Mitt Romney
and for something completely different
Nas vs Jay-Z
posted by citron at 6:22 PM on September 3, 2008
and for something completely different
Nas vs Jay-Z
posted by citron at 6:22 PM on September 3, 2008
I can never get enough of loquacious smacking down the nauseating adolescent, "risk".
The entire thread is a great read, btw.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:22 PM on September 3, 2008
The entire thread is a great read, btw.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:22 PM on September 3, 2008
Mother Teresa
Richard Nixon
farmers
The Mother Teresa piece is the weakest but I included it because he's attacking the paragon of saintliness herself. The farmers article is interesting and well writen and so is the Nixon piece if I'm remembering it correctly. Along the lines of the Nixon piece, I'm sure a google search for obituaries of Strom Thurmond will be fertile soil.
I've read some good essays on Richard Dawkins' website. He's far more civil than Hitchens tends to be. His reasoning is frequently illuminating and his writing is always clear and eloquent. His website's a little busy but I think some time surfing through it would be well rewarded. I think he also links to videos of many of his TV appearances which should also provide a little of what you're looking for. I think I got the feeling your looking for while reading at least one or two of these essays. Here's one of the articles I was thinking of - not on his site though. Here's another. There are many others. Videos too, though I've paid less attention to them. He debates Rabbi Shmuely Boteach and appears on O'Reilly, for instance.
Somewhat in the same vein are the responses to creationist and intelligent design arguments. I think a blog called The Loom might be a good place to start. Another might be a blog called The Panda's Thumb. No matter how silly or seemingly sophisticated the creationist argument is, the response is always detailed and logical. Actually, the Thumb can be a little shrill sometimes. No specific examples here. You might have to wade through a not insignificant volume of non-smackdown biology to find what you're looking for but it's definitely there. I definitely remember the feeling you're looking for on some of these sites.
Unless, I'm misinterpreting your question. Like some other posters I'm not entirely sure I understand what you're asking for.
posted by stuart_s at 9:40 PM on September 3, 2008
Richard Nixon
farmers
The Mother Teresa piece is the weakest but I included it because he's attacking the paragon of saintliness herself. The farmers article is interesting and well writen and so is the Nixon piece if I'm remembering it correctly. Along the lines of the Nixon piece, I'm sure a google search for obituaries of Strom Thurmond will be fertile soil.
I've read some good essays on Richard Dawkins' website. He's far more civil than Hitchens tends to be. His reasoning is frequently illuminating and his writing is always clear and eloquent. His website's a little busy but I think some time surfing through it would be well rewarded. I think he also links to videos of many of his TV appearances which should also provide a little of what you're looking for. I think I got the feeling your looking for while reading at least one or two of these essays. Here's one of the articles I was thinking of - not on his site though. Here's another. There are many others. Videos too, though I've paid less attention to them. He debates Rabbi Shmuely Boteach and appears on O'Reilly, for instance.
Somewhat in the same vein are the responses to creationist and intelligent design arguments. I think a blog called The Loom might be a good place to start. Another might be a blog called The Panda's Thumb. No matter how silly or seemingly sophisticated the creationist argument is, the response is always detailed and logical. Actually, the Thumb can be a little shrill sometimes. No specific examples here. You might have to wade through a not insignificant volume of non-smackdown biology to find what you're looking for but it's definitely there. I definitely remember the feeling you're looking for on some of these sites.
Unless, I'm misinterpreting your question. Like some other posters I'm not entirely sure I understand what you're asking for.
posted by stuart_s at 9:40 PM on September 3, 2008
Rushdie and Hitchens vs. LeCarre.
I love that I can always find this exchange by googling the phrase "brimming chapeau."
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 12:53 AM on September 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
I love that I can always find this exchange by googling the phrase "brimming chapeau."
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 12:53 AM on September 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
Ah, the season is bringing out these political examples, but I think I know what you want, based on an actual reading the thread mentioned. Is that last comment yours?
Recently, over several threads in the PencilJack forum, someone is accused of Photoshopping material rather than drawing. Defending himself, he states that he is using reference material, as he is not a penciller or draftsman, but an inker.
I think this will give you the flavor of the guy's defensiveness, but Knigge's verbal tai chi chuan on the next page effectively ends the thread. If you are not into comic arts, the first page of the thread may give you an idea of the kinds of things pencillers value and is funny to boot.
posted by gentilknight at 3:52 AM on September 4, 2008
Recently, over several threads in the PencilJack forum, someone is accused of Photoshopping material rather than drawing. Defending himself, he states that he is using reference material, as he is not a penciller or draftsman, but an inker.
I think this will give you the flavor of the guy's defensiveness, but Knigge's verbal tai chi chuan on the next page effectively ends the thread. If you are not into comic arts, the first page of the thread may give you an idea of the kinds of things pencillers value and is funny to boot.
posted by gentilknight at 3:52 AM on September 4, 2008
I'm not quite sure if this is what you're asking for, but I found the so-called Lenski affair to be a pretty satisying example of stingingly polite textual smackdown.
posted by ashirys at 7:00 AM on September 4, 2008
posted by ashirys at 7:00 AM on September 4, 2008
This -may- not be exactly what you're looking for, but in terms of someone turning a forum absolutely upside-down, it doesn't get much better than the Darth Runner threads on Cool Running.com, which I bring to you courtesy of The Wayback Machine:
Prelude to the First Run
The First Run Deconstructed
And the one I love best:
The Extreme Runner's Tactical Belt
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 9:09 AM on September 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Prelude to the First Run
The First Run Deconstructed
And the one I love best:
The Extreme Runner's Tactical Belt
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 9:09 AM on September 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
failblog has a 'burn of the week' that may be what you're looking for.
There have been some really great ones on forums.somethingawful.com, but I'm not able to find links to them, as I don't have archives access.
posted by Four Flavors at 4:35 PM on September 4, 2008
There have been some really great ones on forums.somethingawful.com, but I'm not able to find links to them, as I don't have archives access.
posted by Four Flavors at 4:35 PM on September 4, 2008
Rec.food.cooking had a threat that started off with a reasonable question on cooking venison, then really got into a pretty wild and hilarious free-for-all.
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 7:21 PM on September 4, 2008
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 7:21 PM on September 4, 2008
D'oh..that needs to read "thread" not "threat"!
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 7:25 PM on September 4, 2008
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 7:25 PM on September 4, 2008
Previous MeFi threads:
Music is dead, and here is the corpse, embalmed on two slices of plastic hell
So...you're saying it's shite?
Just Not Friends, Perhaps
Name me a herd animal that hunts
Now that's a pan!
posted by lukemeister at 8:03 PM on September 4, 2008
Music is dead, and here is the corpse, embalmed on two slices of plastic hell
So...you're saying it's shite?
Just Not Friends, Perhaps
Name me a herd animal that hunts
Now that's a pan!
posted by lukemeister at 8:03 PM on September 4, 2008
If you've got time and a strong stomach, crack a cold can and sit yourself down with the archives of Your Webcomic Is Bad And You Should Feel Bad. Unless you run a webcomic, in which case I really don't recommend it.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:03 AM on September 5, 2008
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:03 AM on September 5, 2008
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posted by Christ, what an asshole at 12:19 PM on September 3, 2008