A 27-year-old in a 29-year-old's body?
June 8, 2008 1:22 PM Subscribe
Is there any reason I can't be younger than I am?
As a loner, I feel like I missed out on most of my late teens and most of my 20s. I'm now 29, but easily look several years younger. My life has changed a lot since those dark days, and turning 30 seems somehow unfair to me.
So, I've decided that I'd like to be 27. I mean, really live it. Tell everyone without feeling that it's a lie at all.
Of course, it's "just a number", but, for me, it's psychologically important. It's a fiction that I can totally buy into, and that will make me feel better.
Legalities aside, is there any reason why this is not a good idea?
As a loner, I feel like I missed out on most of my late teens and most of my 20s. I'm now 29, but easily look several years younger. My life has changed a lot since those dark days, and turning 30 seems somehow unfair to me.
So, I've decided that I'd like to be 27. I mean, really live it. Tell everyone without feeling that it's a lie at all.
Of course, it's "just a number", but, for me, it's psychologically important. It's a fiction that I can totally buy into, and that will make me feel better.
Legalities aside, is there any reason why this is not a good idea?
I don't think you can get your legal identification to reflect this, so you will be at constant risk of discovery, with the lunatic bit that moxiedoll mentioned.
Except that it's not that uncommon to lie about one's age, I think, so maybe people will just think you're a kook instead of a total nutball.
posted by aubilenon at 1:30 PM on June 8, 2008
Except that it's not that uncommon to lie about one's age, I think, so maybe people will just think you're a kook instead of a total nutball.
posted by aubilenon at 1:30 PM on June 8, 2008
Because anyone that finds out would believe you to be someone that freely lies about key facts about themselves whenever it suits them and they would be correct.
posted by whoaali at 1:32 PM on June 8, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by whoaali at 1:32 PM on June 8, 2008 [5 favorites]
Off the top of my head, I can only think of one reason -- it will perpetuate the feeling that your real, current, actual age is somehow 'wrong' and a problem that needs to be fixed. But that's only an artificial solution, one that resolves the external issue of turning thirty but does nothing with the actual fear you have of growing older and feeling like you haven't accomplished what you need to or somesuch. Instead of going through such an elaborate lie, perhaps you'd do better learning how to be comfortable with who you are at 29 turning 30. Besides, at some point someone is going to find out your real age and cock their head at you and say, "Wow. That's really weird. Uh, can you take me home now?"
posted by incessant at 1:32 PM on June 8, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by incessant at 1:32 PM on June 8, 2008 [3 favorites]
It's a fiction that I can totally buy into, and that will make me feel better.
So what happens in 2 years when you turn 29 again? I think you'll find that reliving those two years won't have made you feel any better, if you don't get to the root of why you want to be 27 again. And I would think that once you figure out why you want to be younger, you could remedy the situation without having to lie about your age. Lying about your age is just a band-aid solution for the real problem of not being happy with your life. Don't take the easy way out. Face your life and fix it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:32 PM on June 8, 2008 [4 favorites]
So what happens in 2 years when you turn 29 again? I think you'll find that reliving those two years won't have made you feel any better, if you don't get to the root of why you want to be 27 again. And I would think that once you figure out why you want to be younger, you could remedy the situation without having to lie about your age. Lying about your age is just a band-aid solution for the real problem of not being happy with your life. Don't take the easy way out. Face your life and fix it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:32 PM on June 8, 2008 [4 favorites]
I am forty-nine and still feel twenty-something.
It's just a number. You are who you are. Me, people all the time think I'm younger than I am, simply because that is how I interact with them.
Besides, to me, thirty is still really young anyway. ;-)
posted by konolia at 1:34 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
It's just a number. You are who you are. Me, people all the time think I'm younger than I am, simply because that is how I interact with them.
Besides, to me, thirty is still really young anyway. ;-)
posted by konolia at 1:34 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
I know this isn't really helpful but it's not a good idea because it sounds, umm, insane....
posted by FunGus at 1:39 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by FunGus at 1:39 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
What's wrong with stating your actual chronological age and trying to be young at heart? Just because you feel you missed out doesn't make you 27.
Psychologically, I think it would be more damaging to lie to people. Psychologically, it's more helpful to embrace the truth.
Read this.
People that have reached self-actualization are characterized by certain behaviors. Common traits amongst people that have reached self-actualization are as follows:
They embrace reality and facts rather than denying truth.
They are spontaneous.
They are interested in solving problems which may include personal problems or the emotional conflicts of others.
They are accepting of themselves and others and lack prejudice.
posted by LoriFLA at 1:39 PM on June 8, 2008 [3 favorites]
Psychologically, I think it would be more damaging to lie to people. Psychologically, it's more helpful to embrace the truth.
Read this.
People that have reached self-actualization are characterized by certain behaviors. Common traits amongst people that have reached self-actualization are as follows:
They embrace reality and facts rather than denying truth.
They are spontaneous.
They are interested in solving problems which may include personal problems or the emotional conflicts of others.
They are accepting of themselves and others and lack prejudice.
posted by LoriFLA at 1:39 PM on June 8, 2008 [3 favorites]
I have never understood why young-looking people want to lie about their ages. If someone looks several years younger than how old they actually are, why not be proud of how good they look? I'd rather be a hot 50 year old than an average-looking 30 year old.
posted by phunniemee at 1:40 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by phunniemee at 1:40 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
On a practical note, a big part of social relation is relating to people based on shared experiences, and a lot of this is rooted in age. For example, I was in high school when the Columbine high school shooting happened, and it had a big effect on me, and I know that anyone my age had that experience, too. Let's say you decided to say you were the same age as me (25), and we were having a discussion about Columbine, and I started to discuss how it made me feel as a high school student. You weren't in high school when it happened, and if we were having a discussion, and I put the fact that you said you were my age and you said you weren't in high school during Columbine together, I probably would say, oh, really, where were you? Not to be nosy, just making conversation, the way people do. What would you say? Maybe you were in college, so then I ask, wow, college at 16, what was that like? Things like this could possibly happen, where there's a disconnect between your age and what people expect happened or is happening in your life. For me personally, it would take a lot of energy to constantly make up stories in an attempt to make my lie make sense (and of course, they really wouldn't make sense at all, since the truth is stranger than fiction).
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:48 PM on June 8, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:48 PM on June 8, 2008 [3 favorites]
Get out of my head! I only turned 29 a couple weeks ago and it feels too early, far too early. Like, don't want to go all the way back to 20, but another little dip of twenties would be nice. Two, three more years, maybe. So I guess that means what you're feeling ain't uncommon.
I guess the conclusion I've arrived at is to just sorta ignore it, and not bring it up. Why do the people around you gotta know your age anyhow? I can't imagine it comes up in regular conversation too often, nor can I see the younger folk you encounter deciding they don't wanna talk to you on account of your birthday. Act as vital and vibrant as you feel, but don't go around playing make believe. What would the long-term scenario be? A perpetual two-year subtraction from your age? What's kinda quirky in your late twenties gets pathetic in a hurry in your late thirties.
So my advice to you is to accept your age but don't dwell on it. Live your life and squeeze this last year of 20hood for all its worth. And if it makes you feel any better, I just wrapped up a quarter of school where I was damn near the oldest in the class. I didn't mention my age to a soul and did my best to be myself. Most of my fellow students pegged me around 25. People's perception has a lot more to do w/ your behavior than the number you quote them.
posted by EatTheWeek at 1:51 PM on June 8, 2008
I guess the conclusion I've arrived at is to just sorta ignore it, and not bring it up. Why do the people around you gotta know your age anyhow? I can't imagine it comes up in regular conversation too often, nor can I see the younger folk you encounter deciding they don't wanna talk to you on account of your birthday. Act as vital and vibrant as you feel, but don't go around playing make believe. What would the long-term scenario be? A perpetual two-year subtraction from your age? What's kinda quirky in your late twenties gets pathetic in a hurry in your late thirties.
So my advice to you is to accept your age but don't dwell on it. Live your life and squeeze this last year of 20hood for all its worth. And if it makes you feel any better, I just wrapped up a quarter of school where I was damn near the oldest in the class. I didn't mention my age to a soul and did my best to be myself. Most of my fellow students pegged me around 25. People's perception has a lot more to do w/ your behavior than the number you quote them.
posted by EatTheWeek at 1:51 PM on June 8, 2008
the lie with cause more problems than it is worth... with jobs, with identification documents, etc.....it will catch up with you and remind you constantly that you are not who you think you are/want to be.
Take this energy and get some therapy about this...and, as stated up thread, embrace who you are..
/from someone who will turn 60 in two weeks :-) and has a whole different perspective on "30"
posted by HuronBob at 1:51 PM on June 8, 2008
Take this energy and get some therapy about this...and, as stated up thread, embrace who you are..
/from someone who will turn 60 in two weeks :-) and has a whole different perspective on "30"
posted by HuronBob at 1:51 PM on June 8, 2008
I think lying is bad for you. If you don't want to be age-bound, politely, mysteriously decline to state your age. Feel free to say true things, like noting that a cd was popular when you were in school, or any red herrings you like. But when asked, just say "I'm trying to free myself from age discrimination." This will drive some people batty, but your age is none of their business.
posted by theora55 at 1:53 PM on June 8, 2008
posted by theora55 at 1:53 PM on June 8, 2008
You'll have a lot to keep straight. How old you are, how old you are compared to your siblings, what year you were born, what year you graduated from high school, what music was popular when you were in college, who you voted for the first time you voted in a presidential election, and so on.
You'll have to make sure none of your friends ever see any of your ID, or your high school yearbook, or any of the school portraits your parents have on the wall. You'll have to lie about your college reunions. You'll have to make sure none of your new, younger friends meet your old, older friends in case relevant topics come up. And if you get discovered, people will think you're a nut.
I knew a guy who lied about his age because he wanted to date a younger woman, claiming to be 23 when he was 26. She found out. And I -- uh, I mean, she -- thought he was an idiot for lying.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:56 PM on June 8, 2008 [3 favorites]
You'll have to make sure none of your friends ever see any of your ID, or your high school yearbook, or any of the school portraits your parents have on the wall. You'll have to lie about your college reunions. You'll have to make sure none of your new, younger friends meet your old, older friends in case relevant topics come up. And if you get discovered, people will think you're a nut.
I knew a guy who lied about his age because he wanted to date a younger woman, claiming to be 23 when he was 26. She found out. And I -- uh, I mean, she -- thought he was an idiot for lying.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:56 PM on June 8, 2008 [3 favorites]
I'd be worried that you'd set a precedent for reality avoidance, that would spill into other facets of your life.
Why stop with age? Why not extend the truth-denying gimmick into other areas of your life, such as money, relationships, career?
Morpheus offered Neo two pills, one blue, one red. Neo took the red pill, waking up to threadbare clothing and breakfasts of thin, watery gruel. But it was preferable. Because it was real.
In the end, reality always trumps the seductions of self-deception and denial.
posted by Gordion Knott at 1:57 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
Why stop with age? Why not extend the truth-denying gimmick into other areas of your life, such as money, relationships, career?
Morpheus offered Neo two pills, one blue, one red. Neo took the red pill, waking up to threadbare clothing and breakfasts of thin, watery gruel. But it was preferable. Because it was real.
In the end, reality always trumps the seductions of self-deception and denial.
posted by Gordion Knott at 1:57 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
it's not a good idea because it sounds, umm, insane....
Don't be ridiculous. People have been doing this since the beginning of time; it's not "insane," it's just a tad vain. People are entitled to their vanity. Yeah, in a couple of years the poster will have to face the issue again, but so what? Perhaps it won't seem so bad then. I'm not advocating it, but let's not get carried away.
posted by languagehat at 1:57 PM on June 8, 2008
Don't be ridiculous. People have been doing this since the beginning of time; it's not "insane," it's just a tad vain. People are entitled to their vanity. Yeah, in a couple of years the poster will have to face the issue again, but so what? Perhaps it won't seem so bad then. I'm not advocating it, but let's not get carried away.
posted by languagehat at 1:57 PM on June 8, 2008
As Tom Stoppard wrote in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead: "there is only one direction, and time is its only measure."
In other words, I think you're freaked out because 29 = precipice of 30, which is a big fat reminder of the fact that time marches on and one day you're going to die. Unfair? I don't know; can something be unfair when it happens equally to every one of us?
Look, there are a few things I regret about my life (I'm 39, and sometimes still can't fully comprehend how I got here), and they mostly involve wasting time. (As I'm doing so ably right this minute!) But the thing is, time is marching on at exactly the same rate for everyone, whether you're 29 or 27 or 18 or 75. The number associated with the amount of time you've had on the planet so far is not anything special or magical; it's what you do with the time that matters.
posted by scody at 1:59 PM on June 8, 2008 [2 favorites]
In other words, I think you're freaked out because 29 = precipice of 30, which is a big fat reminder of the fact that time marches on and one day you're going to die. Unfair? I don't know; can something be unfair when it happens equally to every one of us?
Look, there are a few things I regret about my life (I'm 39, and sometimes still can't fully comprehend how I got here), and they mostly involve wasting time. (As I'm doing so ably right this minute!) But the thing is, time is marching on at exactly the same rate for everyone, whether you're 29 or 27 or 18 or 75. The number associated with the amount of time you've had on the planet so far is not anything special or magical; it's what you do with the time that matters.
posted by scody at 1:59 PM on June 8, 2008 [2 favorites]
Yes, people have been lying about their ages since the beginning of time. It's the believing-the-lie-yourself part, I think, that some commenters think is insane.
posted by box at 2:03 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by box at 2:03 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
Do yourself a favor right now and lose your perception of what your age means. In the long run, it means very little. Be who you are now, whether or not it matches your idea of what a 29 year old should be. It's artificial and arbitrary and should have very little to do with how you choose to live your life.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 2:07 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by The Light Fantastic at 2:07 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
Here is an example of how age discrepancies can be discovered.
posted by netbros at 2:09 PM on June 8, 2008
posted by netbros at 2:09 PM on June 8, 2008
Lying about your age will seem awfully silly to anyone who already knows you. I found out that an acquaintance of mine was telling age-fibs, and there was much chortling.
It would probably be best to just be the young-seeming 29-year-old.
posted by Sticherbeast at 2:13 PM on June 8, 2008
It would probably be best to just be the young-seeming 29-year-old.
posted by Sticherbeast at 2:13 PM on June 8, 2008
Best answer: Of course, it's "just a number", but, for me, it's psychologically important. It's a fiction that I can totally buy into, and that will make me feel better.
Legalities aside, is there any reason why this is not a good idea?
Because there's probably a healthier way of coming to terms with the fact that you are getting older, and will continue to. You don't need a fiction about your age, you need a good story about how you're living a life that's valuable to you.
What's the difference between 29 and 27? Not much, I'm almost entirely certain most people who've passed 30 will tell you. The only big one I can think of is that this landmark (like all landmarks) will force you to confront the idea that soon, a given period of your life will be over. So, yeah. You have less than 365 days until the decade known as your 20s will be over, and that's how much time you have left to have made it everything you thought you wanted it to be.
Here's the good news: if you know what that is, and you just need more time, you'll probably get it, unless it's auditioning for American Idol. Rather than trying to stop the clock, which is more or less futile, just put the game into overtime.
turning 30 seems somehow unfair to me.
It's definitely unfair in that there are expectations attached to landmark ages that people have varying equipment to live up to.
The problem with deception is that for many people it will make a worse impression than any limiting stereotype they may have about you because of your age.
Especially because many people develop more refined thinking about this as they get older. If for no other reason than that they're forced to confront the same stuff you're confronting, they begin to get the concept of a "young 29" or an "mature 27." The age stereotypes end up being weaker than the image you project and the lifestyle you live.
This isn't to say the weight of age won't eventually overcome either. But on a two year difference? No way most people are going to care.
posted by namespan at 2:18 PM on June 8, 2008 [4 favorites]
Legalities aside, is there any reason why this is not a good idea?
Because there's probably a healthier way of coming to terms with the fact that you are getting older, and will continue to. You don't need a fiction about your age, you need a good story about how you're living a life that's valuable to you.
What's the difference between 29 and 27? Not much, I'm almost entirely certain most people who've passed 30 will tell you. The only big one I can think of is that this landmark (like all landmarks) will force you to confront the idea that soon, a given period of your life will be over. So, yeah. You have less than 365 days until the decade known as your 20s will be over, and that's how much time you have left to have made it everything you thought you wanted it to be.
Here's the good news: if you know what that is, and you just need more time, you'll probably get it, unless it's auditioning for American Idol. Rather than trying to stop the clock, which is more or less futile, just put the game into overtime.
turning 30 seems somehow unfair to me.
It's definitely unfair in that there are expectations attached to landmark ages that people have varying equipment to live up to.
The problem with deception is that for many people it will make a worse impression than any limiting stereotype they may have about you because of your age.
Especially because many people develop more refined thinking about this as they get older. If for no other reason than that they're forced to confront the same stuff you're confronting, they begin to get the concept of a "young 29" or an "mature 27." The age stereotypes end up being weaker than the image you project and the lifestyle you live.
This isn't to say the weight of age won't eventually overcome either. But on a two year difference? No way most people are going to care.
posted by namespan at 2:18 PM on June 8, 2008 [4 favorites]
Something interesting I noticed about turning 30, then older: at 29 you feel like you're somehow straining at the upper boundary of an age-bracket, and at 30 you can still just about convince yourself that you're stretching at the limits of being in your twenties. From 31 and 32 onwards, though, I started feeling like I was at the bottom of a new age bracket. I was young again... Anyway, this is just anecdotally to say that I bet this milestone of 30 becomes way less bad-seeming once you reach it. But you should let yourself reach it, not deceive yourself.
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 2:24 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 2:24 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Morpheus offered Neo two pills, one blue, one red. Neo took the red pill, waking up to threadbare clothing and breakfasts of thin, watery gruel. But it was preferable. Because it was real.
See, I'd much rather live in the matrix.
posted by mpls2 at 2:41 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
See, I'd much rather live in the matrix.
posted by mpls2 at 2:41 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
There is nothing insane about...ahem...misrepresenting your age. Unfortunately, you can't change your birthdate (so you'll always have your *real* birthdate on your drivers license and your employment papers), but there's nothing wrong with stating you're 27 to your friends and coworkers, etc. If it helps you psychologically, why not? The secret to success in life is creativity and thinking outside the box.
posted by KokuRyu at 2:42 PM on June 8, 2008
posted by KokuRyu at 2:42 PM on June 8, 2008
In social situations with strangers in bars and things like that I don't see much problem with saying you're 27 instead of 29. People lie about tonnes of things in those situations, and it takes too much time to explain why you want to be 27 instead of 29. It is a lie though, and people may subconsciously pick up on the fact that you're lying and it may unexpectedly have them distance themselves from you.
But, without getting moralistic about it, is it necessary? I find I don't tell my age that often anyway, and as long as you've got your act together, who'll judge you for being a wild 29 year old?
posted by fantasticninety at 2:50 PM on June 8, 2008
But, without getting moralistic about it, is it necessary? I find I don't tell my age that often anyway, and as long as you've got your act together, who'll judge you for being a wild 29 year old?
posted by fantasticninety at 2:50 PM on June 8, 2008
Best answer: If someone discovers you're lying about your age, it will be revealed that you care about your age.
Caring about your older age enough to lie about it? Will make you seem even older.
posted by gnomeloaf at 2:51 PM on June 8, 2008 [2 favorites]
Caring about your older age enough to lie about it? Will make you seem even older.
posted by gnomeloaf at 2:51 PM on June 8, 2008 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Instead of thinking "I am going to try to be a 27 year old doing the stuff 27 year olds do!", perhaps you could be a 29 year old (or 30 year old, if that digit-change is coming soon and freaking you out) who is shifting their priorities a bit and trying to be spontaneous/make connections with people/etc. Fill in the etc. according to Your Mileage. I don't think that's a bad space to be in, and maybe those changes of perspective should happen when going from one space of your life to another.
I don't mean that you shouldn't be trying to change things about your life which you don't find fulfilling. However to see what's going on that you need to change, you may have to face your situation as-is, the age you actually are.
Delusion seems an odd thing to choose. It's hard for me to see the reality of the events and people in my life unclouded by hypothesizing and general in-my-headness. It affects my judgment and the way I see things enormously, and I'm not doing any of it deliberately. Actually choosing to fool yourself and others seems destructive. I realize the "lying about your age is a bad idea because it is not a true it is a lie" is a circular argument though.
For what it's worth, I'm in my twenties, and I'd think someone lying about their age was infinitely weirder than them (gasp!) being 30. And people would, eventually, find out. TPS wrote a bit about common references for particular age groups. Expand that to include pop culture references, the song which was on the radio all the time when your fictional age group was 16, etc.
That little ramble is my entirely biased take on it, though.
posted by eponymouse at 3:25 PM on June 8, 2008
I don't mean that you shouldn't be trying to change things about your life which you don't find fulfilling. However to see what's going on that you need to change, you may have to face your situation as-is, the age you actually are.
Delusion seems an odd thing to choose. It's hard for me to see the reality of the events and people in my life unclouded by hypothesizing and general in-my-headness. It affects my judgment and the way I see things enormously, and I'm not doing any of it deliberately. Actually choosing to fool yourself and others seems destructive. I realize the "lying about your age is a bad idea because it is not a true it is a lie" is a circular argument though.
For what it's worth, I'm in my twenties, and I'd think someone lying about their age was infinitely weirder than them (gasp!) being 30. And people would, eventually, find out. TPS wrote a bit about common references for particular age groups. Expand that to include pop culture references, the song which was on the radio all the time when your fictional age group was 16, etc.
That little ramble is my entirely biased take on it, though.
posted by eponymouse at 3:25 PM on June 8, 2008
For what it's worth, I'm in my twenties, and I'd think someone lying about their age was infinitely weirder than them (gasp!) being 30.
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS
posted by Sticherbeast at 3:27 PM on June 8, 2008
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS
posted by Sticherbeast at 3:27 PM on June 8, 2008
Best answer: My advice is, don't look back.
Lots of people have a crap time in their 20s. If your real 27th year was a disappointment, bid it farewell instead of attempting a do-over. What if you get laid off this year, or contract an embarrassingly tenacious skin disease? Would you roll back the dial again for another do-over? (I like the idea of reflecting on the past year in late December, and deciding to discard it. It'd make an interesting story. But I think it's a poor way to actually live.) Wouldn't you feel like a big phony? Lying would just reinforce the idea that there is something "wrong" with you at your true age, like you're a kid who's been kept back a year in school and is embarrassed to admit it.
If you're doing so much better at 29, why not embrace it with the knowledge that you've paid your dues and earned your fun? I'm turning 34 next week and every year from 27 on has been better than the last. My mid-twenties were rotten and I'm glad to be past them. You seem to have the impression that you're behind schedule, somehow. Whose schedule?
You earned every one of those 29 years of experience and wisdom. My advice is to make peace with them, own them. You may have missed out on a lot, but you probably learned a lot of things in that time that other, more gregarious party people have missed. Try to accept and value the person you are.
posted by Lou Stuells at 3:30 PM on June 8, 2008 [4 favorites]
Lots of people have a crap time in their 20s. If your real 27th year was a disappointment, bid it farewell instead of attempting a do-over. What if you get laid off this year, or contract an embarrassingly tenacious skin disease? Would you roll back the dial again for another do-over? (I like the idea of reflecting on the past year in late December, and deciding to discard it. It'd make an interesting story. But I think it's a poor way to actually live.) Wouldn't you feel like a big phony? Lying would just reinforce the idea that there is something "wrong" with you at your true age, like you're a kid who's been kept back a year in school and is embarrassed to admit it.
If you're doing so much better at 29, why not embrace it with the knowledge that you've paid your dues and earned your fun? I'm turning 34 next week and every year from 27 on has been better than the last. My mid-twenties were rotten and I'm glad to be past them. You seem to have the impression that you're behind schedule, somehow. Whose schedule?
You earned every one of those 29 years of experience and wisdom. My advice is to make peace with them, own them. You may have missed out on a lot, but you probably learned a lot of things in that time that other, more gregarious party people have missed. Try to accept and value the person you are.
posted by Lou Stuells at 3:30 PM on June 8, 2008 [4 favorites]
Best answer: My sister effectively did this for a few years. Decided she'd missed out on too much when she was younger (she worked a dead end factory job for minimum wage for much of her early twenties) and that she'd go back to being 24. As far as I know she didn't lie about it but she wasn't always upfront either. When asking her age she'd laugh and say something like "I've decided to be 24" then change the subject (and had me sucked in for a year or two until I realised what was going on!). Because she was light hearted and treated it as a joke it went down much better than some kind of heavy special "thing" and wasn't an outright lie (which I think can be hard to carry of for all the reasons already outlined). People she got close to would be told the truth including with her reasoning for thinking of herself as younger for a while (because that leads into a whole 'nother conversation about who she is and the life she's lead), and obviously she would use her real age for work and 'official' stuff.
The silly thing is the people she associated with were a range of ages and she wasn't doing anything different than many people in that general age group (going out and partying a fair bit, working her first 'real' job, getting her first promotion, etc) so the age thing didn't really matter in the end. And she grew out of it. Now she's 28 she's settled down with an older man and had a baby, so a few years spent being a few years younger didn't stunt her psychologically or anything.
So if it helps you get into the mindset that lets you have the life you want then sure, decide to be 27. Live it to the full. Be light hearted and not at all serious about it, brush off or redirect mentions of your age, and don't lie to people who you actually want to connect with. It's not going to do any harm and might work wonderfully. Personally I think you're kind of silly and don't see why it's such a big deal, but I'm 32 and people still peg me as 26 so what do I know?
posted by shelleycat at 3:38 PM on June 8, 2008
The silly thing is the people she associated with were a range of ages and she wasn't doing anything different than many people in that general age group (going out and partying a fair bit, working her first 'real' job, getting her first promotion, etc) so the age thing didn't really matter in the end. And she grew out of it. Now she's 28 she's settled down with an older man and had a baby, so a few years spent being a few years younger didn't stunt her psychologically or anything.
So if it helps you get into the mindset that lets you have the life you want then sure, decide to be 27. Live it to the full. Be light hearted and not at all serious about it, brush off or redirect mentions of your age, and don't lie to people who you actually want to connect with. It's not going to do any harm and might work wonderfully. Personally I think you're kind of silly and don't see why it's such a big deal, but I'm 32 and people still peg me as 26 so what do I know?
posted by shelleycat at 3:38 PM on June 8, 2008
I can tell you for a fact that I am already starting to forget exactly how old I am. I'm 38, but sometimes, momentarily, I think I'm 36 or 37; or I'm musing about the future and think I'm 39 already. It's just not an important fact about myself any more. When I was a kid, "how old are you" was a defining question, but not now.
Returning to the question you asked, this is not a good idea because it will make you seem like a fruitloop whenever anyone finds out.
Moreover, people who find out will be curious about your reasons, and some of them will pry. Since your motive for doing this seems to be that you want to obliterate the memories of a bad time, surely the last thing you want to do is something that will draw attention to those times when you least want it.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 3:38 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
Returning to the question you asked, this is not a good idea because it will make you seem like a fruitloop whenever anyone finds out.
Moreover, people who find out will be curious about your reasons, and some of them will pry. Since your motive for doing this seems to be that you want to obliterate the memories of a bad time, surely the last thing you want to do is something that will draw attention to those times when you least want it.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 3:38 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
'Cause if someone finds out they'll think you're a lunatic?
Or a liar. And no one respects a liar.
posted by orange swan at 3:56 PM on June 8, 2008
Or a liar. And no one respects a liar.
posted by orange swan at 3:56 PM on June 8, 2008
I'm with Shelleycat. Go for it in a lighthearted way. Who cares?
posted by JohnnyGunn at 4:07 PM on June 8, 2008
posted by JohnnyGunn at 4:07 PM on June 8, 2008
Response by poster: In my early-mid twenties, I believed that I was unlikable, that I'd never have the things that were missing in my life. That was a distortion, but that was my reality. It's taken several years to overcome that distortion, but I've done it. Now, I believe that turning 30 closes the door on some opportunities that I missed out on. This may be a distortion, but, again, it is my reality. I assume it would take a bit of time to rid myself of this distortion. But if I can effectively neutralize that distortion with another one that I feel is completely congruent with my actual self, why not?
I don't plan on lying to anyone about my birthdate, just my "age". Much as a trans-woman wouldn't lie about the fact that she had a Y chromosome, but would "lie" about her gender.
The fact is that, as practical matter, age = appearance + maturity. There is no other use for the concept of "age" than that. It has no intrinsic philosophical importance. From that, people form ideas in their mind about what is appropriate for anyone at a given age. 50-year-olds are not discriminated against because they don't know the lyrics to Crank That Soldier Boy. They're discriminated against because of how they look and how they fit into society. But how they fit into society is determined largely by their age.
If someone asks what year I was born in, I'd say 1978. They'd say "so, you're 30". I'd say, "no, I said I'm 28". And we'd have an interesting philosophical discussion. I think I'd end up looking more thoughtful than weird. Well, and maybe a little vain.
posted by mpls2 at 4:15 PM on June 8, 2008
I don't plan on lying to anyone about my birthdate, just my "age". Much as a trans-woman wouldn't lie about the fact that she had a Y chromosome, but would "lie" about her gender.
The fact is that, as practical matter, age = appearance + maturity. There is no other use for the concept of "age" than that. It has no intrinsic philosophical importance. From that, people form ideas in their mind about what is appropriate for anyone at a given age. 50-year-olds are not discriminated against because they don't know the lyrics to Crank That Soldier Boy. They're discriminated against because of how they look and how they fit into society. But how they fit into society is determined largely by their age.
If someone asks what year I was born in, I'd say 1978. They'd say "so, you're 30". I'd say, "no, I said I'm 28". And we'd have an interesting philosophical discussion. I think I'd end up looking more thoughtful than weird. Well, and maybe a little vain.
posted by mpls2 at 4:15 PM on June 8, 2008
If someone asks what year I was born in, I'd say 1978. They'd say "so, you're 30". I'd say, "no, I said I'm 28".
Um no, this is weird. You can't change how long you've been alive even with wishful thinking and that's what your age is, how long you've been alive (remember that '28' is a short for '28 years old'). This makes you look like you either can't add or don't understand how being a certain age actually works. The discussion will not go how you think and there will be eye rolling.
But if you say "I prefer to think of myself as 28" then you've got at least some rooting in the real world and possibly something to start talking about. It's like how my sister said she'd decided to be 24 (not that she is 24). It's subtle and easily missed at first, but it's also the straight truth and shows a grasp on reality that your arguing doesn't.
posted by shelleycat at 4:24 PM on June 8, 2008
Um no, this is weird. You can't change how long you've been alive even with wishful thinking and that's what your age is, how long you've been alive (remember that '28' is a short for '28 years old'). This makes you look like you either can't add or don't understand how being a certain age actually works. The discussion will not go how you think and there will be eye rolling.
But if you say "I prefer to think of myself as 28" then you've got at least some rooting in the real world and possibly something to start talking about. It's like how my sister said she'd decided to be 24 (not that she is 24). It's subtle and easily missed at first, but it's also the straight truth and shows a grasp on reality that your arguing doesn't.
posted by shelleycat at 4:24 PM on June 8, 2008
Women are allowed (expected?) to lie about their age.
When men are caught* lying about their age, it generates one or more of the following reactions which I've witnessed when guys have been caught:
- "Um, why does he even bother? No one cares!"
- "Jeez, that guy must have serious issues."
- "What a creep! He's only doing that so he can sleep with high school girls."
If you're a man and going to pick a lie to live under, age will trigger some of the most negative responses (as witnessed by the above posts). Different names, incomes, jobs, and places of birth can be explained away to some extent, but age is a deal breaker. Mostly because no one cares how old a guy is. It's a lie that takes a lot of effort for no gain. If no one finds out* you've put all that work for no gain. If someone does find out, you look crazy/lecherous/foolish.
* And you will either get caught or people will get an uncomfortableness around you. Too many things in our lives are hooked up to specific ages and dates for it not to slip. For example: Are you able to have a conversation where you can time shift every single pop culture knowledge ahead several years? If not, people will pick up on it.
posted by Ookseer at 4:41 PM on June 8, 2008
When men are caught* lying about their age, it generates one or more of the following reactions which I've witnessed when guys have been caught:
- "Um, why does he even bother? No one cares!"
- "Jeez, that guy must have serious issues."
- "What a creep! He's only doing that so he can sleep with high school girls."
If you're a man and going to pick a lie to live under, age will trigger some of the most negative responses (as witnessed by the above posts). Different names, incomes, jobs, and places of birth can be explained away to some extent, but age is a deal breaker. Mostly because no one cares how old a guy is. It's a lie that takes a lot of effort for no gain. If no one finds out* you've put all that work for no gain. If someone does find out, you look crazy/lecherous/foolish.
* And you will either get caught or people will get an uncomfortableness around you. Too many things in our lives are hooked up to specific ages and dates for it not to slip. For example: Are you able to have a conversation where you can time shift every single pop culture knowledge ahead several years? If not, people will pick up on it.
posted by Ookseer at 4:41 PM on June 8, 2008
I had someone do this *for* me at work last year, and it was fantastically annoying.
I'm 38. I'm going through the exact same 'OMG I've wasted so much time! etc.' angst that you're going through. However, I've always believed that lying about one's age was a sign of lack of self confidence, so I was never going to do that. Even now, when I'm going through my 'I wasted my life!' phase. But, I'm learning to live in the present, and that is helping.
However, a coworker decided that *all* women lie about their age, and I should do the exact same thing - even though I told him that I didn't believe in that, I was comfortable for my age, etc. So, he passed around a birthday card, which was sweet, yet he told everyone I was turning 28 - a whole decade younger. The card was filled with 'Happy 28th!' messages, people asked how I felt about approaching 30, and I found it amazingly uncomfortable. Instead of feeling flattered, I went around instead to everyone and told them my true age, watched them freak about me actually being 10 years older, and basically sabotaging my rude coworker's work. That felt *good*.
Don't lie about your age. It's just not worth it.
posted by spinifex23 at 4:47 PM on June 8, 2008
I'm 38. I'm going through the exact same 'OMG I've wasted so much time! etc.' angst that you're going through. However, I've always believed that lying about one's age was a sign of lack of self confidence, so I was never going to do that. Even now, when I'm going through my 'I wasted my life!' phase. But, I'm learning to live in the present, and that is helping.
However, a coworker decided that *all* women lie about their age, and I should do the exact same thing - even though I told him that I didn't believe in that, I was comfortable for my age, etc. So, he passed around a birthday card, which was sweet, yet he told everyone I was turning 28 - a whole decade younger. The card was filled with 'Happy 28th!' messages, people asked how I felt about approaching 30, and I found it amazingly uncomfortable. Instead of feeling flattered, I went around instead to everyone and told them my true age, watched them freak about me actually being 10 years older, and basically sabotaging my rude coworker's work. That felt *good*.
Don't lie about your age. It's just not worth it.
posted by spinifex23 at 4:47 PM on June 8, 2008
The fact is that, as practical matter, age = appearance + maturity.
Lots of people, rather than using the appearance + maturity formula, seem to use the word 'age' to refer simply to how long someone has been alive. These linguistic variances might cause some unintended friction in your interactions with people. I hope you'll be understanding of their weird idiosyncrasies.
posted by box at 4:51 PM on June 8, 2008 [2 favorites]
Lots of people, rather than using the appearance + maturity formula, seem to use the word 'age' to refer simply to how long someone has been alive. These linguistic variances might cause some unintended friction in your interactions with people. I hope you'll be understanding of their weird idiosyncrasies.
posted by box at 4:51 PM on June 8, 2008 [2 favorites]
Q: "So, how old are you?"
A: "29 and holding, baby."
That answer will serve you well for the rest of your days.
posted by spilon at 4:57 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
A: "29 and holding, baby."
That answer will serve you well for the rest of your days.
posted by spilon at 4:57 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
I am an insanely young looking 36-year-old (as in, I get carded every single time I walk into a bar, liquor store, etc. and even got carded for rated-R movies until I was 25) and there is nothing better than having to whip out my ID to get in somewhere or purchase something.
Now, that being said, I did date a younger guy (he was 19, I was 23) and I lied about my age to him so he wouldn't feel weird about the fact that I could go into bars and he couldn't. We stuck to movie theaters, parties, and museums for about four months. I didn't think it was a big deal, but when he found out I'd lied to him about my age (he saw me coming out of a show at a 21-and-up bar), he broke up with me. Because I lied about something so basic, he felt that nothing I said could be trusted.
Since then, I have never lied about my age. I'm proud of the fact that I somehow look eternally 18, and having people gush over how great you look for your age is one of the best feelings in the world. Don't fight who you are; embrace it. It's better to be a young-looking 40 than a "typical" 28-year-old.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 5:13 PM on June 8, 2008
Now, that being said, I did date a younger guy (he was 19, I was 23) and I lied about my age to him so he wouldn't feel weird about the fact that I could go into bars and he couldn't. We stuck to movie theaters, parties, and museums for about four months. I didn't think it was a big deal, but when he found out I'd lied to him about my age (he saw me coming out of a show at a 21-and-up bar), he broke up with me. Because I lied about something so basic, he felt that nothing I said could be trusted.
Since then, I have never lied about my age. I'm proud of the fact that I somehow look eternally 18, and having people gush over how great you look for your age is one of the best feelings in the world. Don't fight who you are; embrace it. It's better to be a young-looking 40 than a "typical" 28-year-old.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 5:13 PM on June 8, 2008
If someone asks what year I was born in, I'd say 1978. They'd say "so, you're 30". I'd say, "no, I said I'm 28". And we'd have an interesting philosophical discussion.
what happens when this occurs in a situation where you dont have time or the right environment for a philosophical conversation? and how many times can you have a conversation about the same topic before talking about it just gets annoying?
posted by luckyloki at 5:24 PM on June 8, 2008
what happens when this occurs in a situation where you dont have time or the right environment for a philosophical conversation? and how many times can you have a conversation about the same topic before talking about it just gets annoying?
posted by luckyloki at 5:24 PM on June 8, 2008
Ah, aging.
The whole decade thing is merely an artifice of having ten fingers. If you were a geek, like me, you be more concerned about turning 100002, which is 2016 or 32 to the rest of you deadigit-fixated people. You'd worry more because it's the last time you're going to flip all your bits until you're 64, and that's probably the last time you'll flip your bits ever.
Now, I've met a few people who decided not to play along with the whole age game. Like a lot of choices to play along with or not play along with in society, only a few people wore it well. The rest seemed horribly affected. If you can pull it off, good for you, but the odds aren't in your favor.
Those who are a decade or two older than me will probably laugh at my petty bitching, but my body has been steadily failing in ways that puzzled medical science since I was your age. Now at 42, I have to take a minor pharmacy of drugs daily to keep me out of the emergency room, screaming for morphine or vicodin. Yet, a few weeks ago I attended my 20th college reunion and took a good look at my peers, and in spite of having to wear lovely compression stockings, I aged outwardly pretty damn well. Most of my peers look pretty old, and that was a nice turnabout. For that I can't complain. For several of them, they carried themselves well and it was clear that they felt pretty comfortable in their skin and that made them look more youthful - even with gray hair. That was cool.
posted by plinth at 5:26 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
The whole decade thing is merely an artifice of having ten fingers. If you were a geek, like me, you be more concerned about turning 100002, which is 2016 or 32 to the rest of you deadigit-fixated people. You'd worry more because it's the last time you're going to flip all your bits until you're 64, and that's probably the last time you'll flip your bits ever.
Now, I've met a few people who decided not to play along with the whole age game. Like a lot of choices to play along with or not play along with in society, only a few people wore it well. The rest seemed horribly affected. If you can pull it off, good for you, but the odds aren't in your favor.
Those who are a decade or two older than me will probably laugh at my petty bitching, but my body has been steadily failing in ways that puzzled medical science since I was your age. Now at 42, I have to take a minor pharmacy of drugs daily to keep me out of the emergency room, screaming for morphine or vicodin. Yet, a few weeks ago I attended my 20th college reunion and took a good look at my peers, and in spite of having to wear lovely compression stockings, I aged outwardly pretty damn well. Most of my peers look pretty old, and that was a nice turnabout. For that I can't complain. For several of them, they carried themselves well and it was clear that they felt pretty comfortable in their skin and that made them look more youthful - even with gray hair. That was cool.
posted by plinth at 5:26 PM on June 8, 2008 [1 favorite]
Now, I believe that turning 30 closes the door on some opportunities that I missed out on.
This is the thing I can't figure out: what is it that a 27 year old can do that a 29-30 year old can't do? After college, my 20's downright sucked on a million levels, and I felt I'd missed out on some things too, but then I went right ahead and did them in my 30's without ever having to lie about my age. A difference of two years doesn't even seem like enough to lie about.
Though you say age is just a "practical matter, age = appearance + maturity," you seem to be putting far more emphasis on that number than anyone I know does. I have several friends in their 30's who are just now going to college, because they missed out on that when all their friends went. One of my friends in her 50's is currently backpacking around Great Britain, which is something usually done by the college crowd. Then I also have a friend in her early 20's who's starting her own company and doing things "normally" associated with someone older. None of these people feel they need to lie about their physical age (though a couple of them could shave a decade off without it being obvious), because age doesn't really matter all that much. They (and I) just do what they want to do and live life.
posted by Orb at 5:38 PM on June 8, 2008 [3 favorites]
This is the thing I can't figure out: what is it that a 27 year old can do that a 29-30 year old can't do? After college, my 20's downright sucked on a million levels, and I felt I'd missed out on some things too, but then I went right ahead and did them in my 30's without ever having to lie about my age. A difference of two years doesn't even seem like enough to lie about.
Though you say age is just a "practical matter, age = appearance + maturity," you seem to be putting far more emphasis on that number than anyone I know does. I have several friends in their 30's who are just now going to college, because they missed out on that when all their friends went. One of my friends in her 50's is currently backpacking around Great Britain, which is something usually done by the college crowd. Then I also have a friend in her early 20's who's starting her own company and doing things "normally" associated with someone older. None of these people feel they need to lie about their physical age (though a couple of them could shave a decade off without it being obvious), because age doesn't really matter all that much. They (and I) just do what they want to do and live life.
posted by Orb at 5:38 PM on June 8, 2008 [3 favorites]
From the downhill slope of the 30's, a decade in which I have finally started to believe in a genuine way that my age is not relevant to what I can and cannot do, I'm personally convinced that what you're proposing to do is antithetical to what I take to be your goal (to stop feeling cheated and constrained by your age). In a nutshell, I think that the shortcut you propose to avoid doing the work of overcoming your "distortion" about the meaning of your age will fail.
Then again, I don't see a lot of harm in trying, as long as you are willing to face the inevitable heat that will occasionally result from the disparity between your notional age and your actual age (you think handing the average person baldly contradictory answers for your birthdate and age will result in "an interesting philosophical discussion"? Dude, you might actually be 24, and an optimist to boot).
posted by nanojath at 5:43 PM on June 8, 2008
Then again, I don't see a lot of harm in trying, as long as you are willing to face the inevitable heat that will occasionally result from the disparity between your notional age and your actual age (you think handing the average person baldly contradictory answers for your birthdate and age will result in "an interesting philosophical discussion"? Dude, you might actually be 24, and an optimist to boot).
posted by nanojath at 5:43 PM on June 8, 2008
Learn to stop focussing on age as an absolute, a number. Ignore it.
Act how you want, when you want. That doesn't mean go all hedonistic and e.g. shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die (a reference which I'm sure does more to date me than anything else ;-), but do what you want without worrying whether it's 'appropriate' or 'childish' or 'mature' or whatever.
There's really a difference between 27 & 29 anyway?
When I went back to uni last year, I never particularly mentioned my age to my peers - not because I was worried about any age difference, but because I truly don't care about my age. It wasn't a secret, and I'd tell people when they asked, but it's not anything important. I was continuously surprised that, when I told them, people would say "oh, I figured you were in your late 20's early 30's". Surprised, because I'm pretty sure I don't look that much younger than my early 40's, I've never really made any secret of it, and I've always felt I was someone who acted older than I actually was.
(Note: nowdays, when I notice random bits of me not working as well as they once did, I occasionally feel a bit old. But that's not something you should be facing at 29 ;-)
posted by Pinback at 6:42 PM on June 8, 2008
Act how you want, when you want. That doesn't mean go all hedonistic and e.g. shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die (a reference which I'm sure does more to date me than anything else ;-), but do what you want without worrying whether it's 'appropriate' or 'childish' or 'mature' or whatever.
There's really a difference between 27 & 29 anyway?
When I went back to uni last year, I never particularly mentioned my age to my peers - not because I was worried about any age difference, but because I truly don't care about my age. It wasn't a secret, and I'd tell people when they asked, but it's not anything important. I was continuously surprised that, when I told them, people would say "oh, I figured you were in your late 20's early 30's". Surprised, because I'm pretty sure I don't look that much younger than my early 40's, I've never really made any secret of it, and I've always felt I was someone who acted older than I actually was.
(Note: nowdays, when I notice random bits of me not working as well as they once did, I occasionally feel a bit old. But that's not something you should be facing at 29 ;-)
posted by Pinback at 6:42 PM on June 8, 2008
Best answer: I know two reasons why 30-year old may not do something that 25-year old will do.
1) He has already done it and doesn't want to do it again. 2) He doesn't want to risk what he has already won (status, security, self-esteem).
Neither of these reasons is caused by age: probability that these reasons apply just correlates with age and in effect it seems like people in certain age won't do these things anymore. If you feel like you wasted years in your twenties, you probably feel like you are behind your peers in (2), so that reason shouldn't stop you. Also (1) shouldn't apply to you.
posted by Free word order! at 6:57 PM on June 8, 2008 [5 favorites]
1) He has already done it and doesn't want to do it again. 2) He doesn't want to risk what he has already won (status, security, self-esteem).
Neither of these reasons is caused by age: probability that these reasons apply just correlates with age and in effect it seems like people in certain age won't do these things anymore. If you feel like you wasted years in your twenties, you probably feel like you are behind your peers in (2), so that reason shouldn't stop you. Also (1) shouldn't apply to you.
posted by Free word order! at 6:57 PM on June 8, 2008 [5 favorites]
Listen, there is a very easy solution to this. When people ask your age, just tell them -
"I'm 27... in base-11."
posted by Sangermaine at 8:03 PM on June 8, 2008
"I'm 27... in base-11."
posted by Sangermaine at 8:03 PM on June 8, 2008
Turning 30 sucks. Or it did, for me. BEING 30 ruuuuled. I'm 35 now, and I just love being in my 30s. When I think about my 20s now, I realize that no amount of money could take me back there. I love feeling the way I do right now. But, yeah, turning 30 just about gave me a stroke.
posted by houseofdanie at 8:41 PM on June 8, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by houseofdanie at 8:41 PM on June 8, 2008 [2 favorites]
Legalities aside, is there any reason why this is not a good idea?
Not sure about your career path, but your resume would need some fixing. And if someone decides to check you out and finds out that you graduated US State in 2000 and not 2002, that's not going to look good. What about your jobs? Do you shorten the time span or just take one out entirely? Then you become someone with 5-7 years experience, rather than 8-10, which is a different bracket of job and probably salary level.
And yeah, TPS makes a great point. When you're hanging out with people and they say that they were sleeping through their 8:00 am sociology class when their mother called in a panic on September 11, your explaining that you were an entry-level drone at ABC Corp. isn't going to add up. Or take the Challenger. Most 27-year-olds don't really remember it, but you probably do.
FWIW, women joke about doing this and being perpetually 28. I am sure some people lie about their ages without problem. I wouldn't ditch you as a friend if I "found out" but I would definitely think it was pretty strange.
posted by ml98tu at 9:01 PM on June 8, 2008
Not sure about your career path, but your resume would need some fixing. And if someone decides to check you out and finds out that you graduated US State in 2000 and not 2002, that's not going to look good. What about your jobs? Do you shorten the time span or just take one out entirely? Then you become someone with 5-7 years experience, rather than 8-10, which is a different bracket of job and probably salary level.
And yeah, TPS makes a great point. When you're hanging out with people and they say that they were sleeping through their 8:00 am sociology class when their mother called in a panic on September 11, your explaining that you were an entry-level drone at ABC Corp. isn't going to add up. Or take the Challenger. Most 27-year-olds don't really remember it, but you probably do.
FWIW, women joke about doing this and being perpetually 28. I am sure some people lie about their ages without problem. I wouldn't ditch you as a friend if I "found out" but I would definitely think it was pretty strange.
posted by ml98tu at 9:01 PM on June 8, 2008
I would break up with a guy I was dating if I found out that he had been lying about his age for any length of time. It's one of those facts that, while it's not super-important to a lot of people, is so basic that lying about it seems likely to be indicative of dishonesty generally. In fact, the less important the fact is (and I think that age is pretty unimportant), the more likely it is that lying about it will make other people think you're some kind of pathological liar. Even if you think you have a good reason.
If you want to refuse to reveal your age, or say something coy when asked, or make a joke about it, or have a philosophical conversation about the meaning of the word "year," feel free. But don't willfully deceive people you want to be close to. It will make them not want to be close to you.
posted by decathecting at 10:13 PM on June 8, 2008
If you want to refuse to reveal your age, or say something coy when asked, or make a joke about it, or have a philosophical conversation about the meaning of the word "year," feel free. But don't willfully deceive people you want to be close to. It will make them not want to be close to you.
posted by decathecting at 10:13 PM on June 8, 2008
If someone asks what year I was born in, I'd say 1978. They'd say "so, you're 30". I'd say, "no, I said I'm 28".
Sorry, but to me the best possible way, reflecting on you, that I would be able to read these statements is that you were really really bad at basic arithmetic. Your age is the number of years since you were born.
How you act is up to you. This has been linked multitudinous times here before, including by me, but "We're grown-ups now, and it's our turn to decide what that means."
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:59 PM on June 8, 2008
Sorry, but to me the best possible way, reflecting on you, that I would be able to read these statements is that you were really really bad at basic arithmetic. Your age is the number of years since you were born.
How you act is up to you. This has been linked multitudinous times here before, including by me, but "We're grown-ups now, and it's our turn to decide what that means."
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:59 PM on June 8, 2008
My mother in law claims every year that she's turning 29 in a light-hearted way. We all laugh about it.
Live your life the way you want to. If there's something you haven't done yet, do it. My husband is 8 years older than me (now 37) and he has been living his 30s as though he was in his 20s - we travel a lot, take things easy, enjoy life.
I will be turning 30 at the end of the year, and I'm glad to be past the decade of insecurity and starting out.
posted by wingless_angel at 2:03 AM on June 9, 2008
Live your life the way you want to. If there's something you haven't done yet, do it. My husband is 8 years older than me (now 37) and he has been living his 30s as though he was in his 20s - we travel a lot, take things easy, enjoy life.
I will be turning 30 at the end of the year, and I'm glad to be past the decade of insecurity and starting out.
posted by wingless_angel at 2:03 AM on June 9, 2008
Now, I believe that turning 30 closes the door on some opportunities that I missed out on. This may be a distortion, but, again, it is my reality.
What does turning 30 close the door on...American Idol? Being trusted by 60's era hippies? Seriously...this is some wacked ass thinking! Age is just a number. It has nothing to do with how you feel, act, or what is expected of you. Don't buy into the crap - you are who you are regardless of age. If turning 30 closed the door on any significant opportunities, you can bet your britches that would change pretty darn quick...I don't know if you've noticed this..but you are in the minority. If 30 counted for jack shit, we'd change it...there's a hell of a lot of us older than you. chill.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 2:42 AM on June 9, 2008 [1 favorite]
What does turning 30 close the door on...American Idol? Being trusted by 60's era hippies? Seriously...this is some wacked ass thinking! Age is just a number. It has nothing to do with how you feel, act, or what is expected of you. Don't buy into the crap - you are who you are regardless of age. If turning 30 closed the door on any significant opportunities, you can bet your britches that would change pretty darn quick...I don't know if you've noticed this..but you are in the minority. If 30 counted for jack shit, we'd change it...there's a hell of a lot of us older than you. chill.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 2:42 AM on June 9, 2008 [1 favorite]
If someone asks what year I was born in, I'd say 1978. They'd say "so, you're 30". I'd say, "no, I said I'm 28".
This would really make me try to figure where you are coming from, intellectually. Similar to socializing with a disabled child, where you might not know the extent of their mental and physical functioning. The last bit reminds of Fez from The 70's Show saying "I said 'Good Day!'" whenever he was shutting someone out. It sounds ornery, bitter, stubborn, and almost mentally impaired. I would question your English and basic Math skills. Once you actually started to explain your logic, I would start daydreaming and planning my best escape from the madman standing before me.
I think it's far better to say you're 30 than to cast doubt on your intelligence, sanity, and education. In my world, that would close more doors than any number, such as an age of 30, would.
posted by ick at 9:27 AM on June 9, 2008 [1 favorite]
This would really make me try to figure where you are coming from, intellectually. Similar to socializing with a disabled child, where you might not know the extent of their mental and physical functioning. The last bit reminds of Fez from The 70's Show saying "I said 'Good Day!'" whenever he was shutting someone out. It sounds ornery, bitter, stubborn, and almost mentally impaired. I would question your English and basic Math skills. Once you actually started to explain your logic, I would start daydreaming and planning my best escape from the madman standing before me.
I think it's far better to say you're 30 than to cast doubt on your intelligence, sanity, and education. In my world, that would close more doors than any number, such as an age of 30, would.
posted by ick at 9:27 AM on June 9, 2008 [1 favorite]
Most people who are no longer in their 20s probably have a long list of "stupid crap I did in my 20s." You have two options here: either spend the extra two years you'll "gain" lying about your age doing additional stupid crap, or just suck it up and thank the Spaghetti Monster for delivery from this decade of poor judgement.
If you really want to deal with aging, you're much better off taking care of your health, flossing, getting a retirement account going, etc. These are the boring things you look back on your 30s and say "I wish I'd done that 10 years ago". You may be looking sweet on the outside, but your body clock is ticking relentlessly on. Deferring doing these things because you're still in your carefree 20s will end up aging you much faster.
posted by media_itoku at 10:07 AM on June 9, 2008 [1 favorite]
If you really want to deal with aging, you're much better off taking care of your health, flossing, getting a retirement account going, etc. These are the boring things you look back on your 30s and say "I wish I'd done that 10 years ago". You may be looking sweet on the outside, but your body clock is ticking relentlessly on. Deferring doing these things because you're still in your carefree 20s will end up aging you much faster.
posted by media_itoku at 10:07 AM on June 9, 2008 [1 favorite]
The nice thing about the age we live in is that it's perfectly normal for adults to be "kidults" - so just go ahead and do whatever "immature" things you want to do. Age is a state of mind, not a number.
And just so you know, I felt like shit when I hit 30 because I still had no college degree, and was stuck in a dead-end job and obviously thought I should have accomplished all kinds of things by then. Well, I'm now 38, finally got my degree two years ago. And am not in a dead-end job anymore.
posted by O9scar at 7:44 PM on June 9, 2008
And just so you know, I felt like shit when I hit 30 because I still had no college degree, and was stuck in a dead-end job and obviously thought I should have accomplished all kinds of things by then. Well, I'm now 38, finally got my degree two years ago. And am not in a dead-end job anymore.
posted by O9scar at 7:44 PM on June 9, 2008
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