Butcher, baker, beggar, thief, doctor, lawyer, tribal chief? What are you?
July 20, 2004 9:25 AM   Subscribe

IANA- filter: I know that you are not a Lawyer, a Financial Advisor, a Physicist, a Pizza Stone Expert, a Mathematician, an Astronomer, or a Doctor (at least not the right kind); so what are you?

btw, if you are any of those things feel free to answer as well, I wouldn't want to discourage any Pizza Stone Experts from joining the discussion. Oh, and I'm a recent college graduate doing number crunching for the finance department of a start-up company.
posted by rorycberger to Work & Money (42 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
This seems a bit MeTa-ish, but I don't know if they like GTKY type posts or not. It seems a bit vague.

I'm an aspiring programmer, but more immediately - closr to what I "am" - I plan to getting a nursing degree and be a nurse while I'm in college (way better than flipping hamburgers!) and as a fallback while there's no CS jobs, which is always.
posted by abcde at 9:41 AM on July 20, 2004

I'm somebody who pays attention to the front page sidebar links.
posted by biffa at 9:43 AM on July 20, 2004

As well as being a DBNTKWPHFUYT, obviously ;-)
posted by biffa at 9:47 AM on July 20, 2004

I'm the person in charge of applying adhesive to the PostItâ„¢ notes and aligning them in those neat stacks. I get paid by the hundred weight. Please buy more PostItâ„¢ notepads!!!! I need new jeans.
posted by y6y6y6 at 9:54 AM on July 20, 2004

Mostly I get paid to read MetaFilter, but every now and then I get paid to look busy. I get pretty good dental for it too!
posted by TurkishGolds at 9:57 AM on July 20, 2004

i *am* a lawyer; i'm just not *your* lawyer. . .
posted by crush-onastick at 10:21 AM on July 20, 2004

Response by poster: I thought about posting this on MeTa, and hadn't seen the MeFi occupations link (which I'll certainly consult the next time I'm looking for a crayon, Galactic Overlord, or Retired Diety), but I know that I spend more time in the green than the blue nowadays, and hardly ever venture itno the grey anymore so I didn't think asking there would give me a great response. I don't think that the collection of people answering questions here on a regular basis are necessarily the same people hanging out in MeTa, so I asked here. Anyways, just curious about what kind of collective expertise we represent.
posted by rorycberger at 10:36 AM on July 20, 2004

I'm bored. Thanks for asking.
posted by The God Complex at 10:55 AM on July 20, 2004

Unemployed. Yee haw!
posted by cmonkey at 11:10 AM on July 20, 2004

Dear rorycberger,

We think you're crazy to make us write this essay telling you what we think we are. You see us as you want to see us. In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal...
Does that answer your question?
posted by FreezBoy at 11:10 AM on July 20, 2004

I'm a librarian, but I know a lawyer joke. By which I mean it's joke that one lawyer might tell another lawyer.
Anyway, it goes like this:
A man in a hot air balloon descends to a height of about 50 feet over a vast field. He sees a woman in the field and shouts down to her, "Excuse me! Excuse me, ma'am, I've been blown off course and I'm completely lost. Could you tell me where I am?"
The woman looks up at the balloon and the man and says, "Well, you're about 50 feet in the air above this field."
The exasperated man responds, "Oh, you're a lawyer," and curses his luck.
Surprised, the woman responds, "Wow! How did you know I was a lawyer? That's astonishing."
And the man says, "Well, because you managed to answer my question without telling me anything I didn't know."
"Hmm," responds the woman, "I'm surprised I didn't recognize you; you're obviously one of my clients."
And the man says, "What makes you think that?"
"Well," says the woman, "you're in exactly the same situation you were in 5 minutes ago, but now you're convinced it's my fault."
posted by willpie at 11:10 AM on July 20, 2004

I am a librarian as well, but I lack any good lawyer jokes.

I am a bad librarian.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:13 AM on July 20, 2004

I am a bad librarian.

Surely the best kind.
posted by biffa at 11:15 AM on July 20, 2004

willpie! ha! (sorry this is not much of a contribution to this thread but it perfectly describes my morning)
posted by crush-onastick at 11:16 AM on July 20, 2004

I think I'd like to be a librarian
posted by soplerfo at 11:31 AM on July 20, 2004

Computer Programmer.
In Visual Dataflex.
Which is, as you're asking, a completely useless programming language that nobody uses.
posted by seanyboy at 11:46 AM on July 20, 2004

I'm merely a librarian's assistant. I make sure the computers run, the books check out, the printers print, the laminator laminates, etc. so that the real librarian can nap and read People.
posted by mcsweetie at 11:58 AM on July 20, 2004

I'm a poet, a philosopher, and a burger flipper.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 11:59 AM on July 20, 2004

soplerfo, being a librarian is a hoot. Plus, mcsweetie does all the work and we don't do anything at all!
posted by willpie at 12:07 PM on July 20, 2004

I'm the boss of all of you.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 12:17 PM on July 20, 2004

I used to be a librarian.
posted by JanetLand at 12:23 PM on July 20, 2004

A college student, on his way to being a graduate and then off to film school so I can fail horribly. At least i'm Jewish, that gives me a leg up.
posted by Derek at 12:37 PM on July 20, 2004

what are you?

I'm about *this* close to kicking your ass.
posted by scarabic at 12:43 PM on July 20, 2004

What he said. I'm also a labor-issues consultant. But I'm retiring from all that at the end of this month or next, as soon as I wrap up the projects I'm working on in a manner that will allow me to pass them on to someone else neatly. I'm also the owner or co-owner of a number of residential and business properties. I'm not retiring from that, as it provides the income which is allowing me to retire from the other. But I don't actually do much with that (thank heavens for professional property managers) so I'll mostly just be retired.
posted by Dreama at 1:10 PM on July 20, 2004

I am a library patron.
posted by caddis at 1:32 PM on July 20, 2004

I'm often late returning books to the library.
posted by normy at 1:52 PM on July 20, 2004

I am a mathematician. Or at least I was, back when I used to be able to tell you things like what the formal definitions of the Ovals of Cassini or Equilibrated Convex Body.

Although I am apparently the number one result on Google for Equilibrated Convex Body.

I'm a programmer and aesthetician and project manager at large for the web, for most of my money, right now, but I really want to go back to some hard math, maybe some Financial Math or Pricing/Yield/Revenue Management.
posted by weston at 1:59 PM on July 20, 2004

I'm a daddy, a lover (not a player), a programmer, a lay Beat scholar, and a library volunteer. In my spare time I am the Kwisatch Haderach.
posted by m@ at 2:24 PM on July 20, 2004

Ich bin ein Berliner
posted by chrid at 2:24 PM on July 20, 2004

Ah, ze ofals of Cassini, zey are so bootiful...
posted by kenko at 2:41 PM on July 20, 2004

A chef and restaurant owner.

Used to be a user experience consultant till a year back. :)
posted by madman at 3:07 PM on July 20, 2004

At least i'm Jewish, that gives me a leg up.

Not to mention a tip-off.

Thank you, I'm here all week.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 4:42 PM on July 20, 2004

Neither fish nor fowl.
posted by cbrody at 5:00 PM on July 20, 2004

So you're flaeshick?

[goes with i_am_joe's_spleen's comment]
posted by zpousman at 5:25 PM on July 20, 2004

I am not a self-link.

And the I AM NOT Hall of Fame.
posted by wendell at 7:24 PM on July 20, 2004

Apparently, I'm "a level 24 briton scout"

Whatever that is.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:09 PM on July 20, 2004

I'm an answering service operator. You've all heard the phrase "Don't shoot the messenger"? No one else has.

I'm also a college student majoring in sociology, which means I'll probably be an answering service operator for quite a while to come.
posted by ScarletSpectrum at 10:39 PM on July 20, 2004

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother.
posted by seanyboy at 11:35 PM on July 20, 2004

I am nothing. I am atman. I am everything. I am retired. I am a musician, a programmer, a generalist, a synthesist, a philosopher, a nudist, an internet junkie, a queer. A writer, an artist. A stupid white man, an expatriot, a spouse.
posted by Goofyy at 12:10 AM on July 21, 2004

I'm a space cowboy.
posted by twine42 at 2:18 AM on July 21, 2004

Some people call me Maurice.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 8:34 AM on July 21, 2004

I am a 12th-level Necromancer. Seriously, you do not want to fsck with me.
posted by rocketman at 10:23 AM on July 21, 2004

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