What, if anything, should I do about the possibly unethical and definitely scummy behavior of my boss?
March 3, 2008 8:16 PM Subscribe
What, if anything, should I do about the possibly unethical and definitely scummy behavior of my boss?
I work in a small-ish office that has gone through several staff changes recently. Most recently, someone was hired and then quit after a month, mostly due to frustration with our boss (she had to deal with him a LOT more than I did).
She and I became friends, despite a pretty big generation gap, and I was really sorry to see her do, but I knew we'd continue to hang out, etc.
On a side note, after praising her skills to my husband (she was an excellent choice for her job even though she and the boss did not get on, very competent, self-starter, etc. I'm not exaggerating because we're friends), hubby gave her a call and hired her the very next week. Boss got very miffed at this and has sulked about it ever since.
(I'm finally getting to the unethical behavior, i promise). I found out today that, after she quit, boss told her that she could not have any contact with members of our office. I can understand not gabbing with her on the phone or writing emails back and forth all day, but he can't actually DO this, right? He can't tell me who I can and cannot talk to out of work hours.
This is the sixth or seventh time I've caught him in a lie to the staff, discrimination of some sort towards a staff member, or general unethical behavior. I don't know what to do. Please don't suggest I quit my job--just can't.
I've started keeping a journal of things that have happened, just to protect myself, but is there something else I should be doing? I work for a state agency, is there some recourse that will allow me to bring these things up without either getting fired or having to, from that point on, work in a hostile environment?
I work in a small-ish office that has gone through several staff changes recently. Most recently, someone was hired and then quit after a month, mostly due to frustration with our boss (she had to deal with him a LOT more than I did).
She and I became friends, despite a pretty big generation gap, and I was really sorry to see her do, but I knew we'd continue to hang out, etc.
On a side note, after praising her skills to my husband (she was an excellent choice for her job even though she and the boss did not get on, very competent, self-starter, etc. I'm not exaggerating because we're friends), hubby gave her a call and hired her the very next week. Boss got very miffed at this and has sulked about it ever since.
(I'm finally getting to the unethical behavior, i promise). I found out today that, after she quit, boss told her that she could not have any contact with members of our office. I can understand not gabbing with her on the phone or writing emails back and forth all day, but he can't actually DO this, right? He can't tell me who I can and cannot talk to out of work hours.
This is the sixth or seventh time I've caught him in a lie to the staff, discrimination of some sort towards a staff member, or general unethical behavior. I don't know what to do. Please don't suggest I quit my job--just can't.
I've started keeping a journal of things that have happened, just to protect myself, but is there something else I should be doing? I work for a state agency, is there some recourse that will allow me to bring these things up without either getting fired or having to, from that point on, work in a hostile environment?
If you put any effort into it it's really easy to come up with a legitimate pretense for firing someone (in the US anyway). So while your boss can't mandate what you do outside of the office, if it does come out and your boss is that much of a jerk you are pretty much screwed. And suing your boss almost never yields much for anyone but the lawyers. I'd say start looking for a better job.
posted by frieze at 8:52 PM on March 3, 2008
posted by frieze at 8:52 PM on March 3, 2008
Most employees are at will in the US. That means at the will of the employer. At whim might be more apt. If the whim strikes, poof the job is gone. Don't like your attitude - gone, don't like your friends - gone. There are exceptions, don't like the whistleblower - not instantly gone, etc.
Life is hard enough without having to work for such an immature tyrant. Unless you have some compelling reasons for keeping this job it probably is time to move on. Don't burn your bridges on the way out, just leave, hopefully for an even better job. Regardless, watch yourself around this person.
posted by caddis at 9:36 PM on March 3, 2008
Life is hard enough without having to work for such an immature tyrant. Unless you have some compelling reasons for keeping this job it probably is time to move on. Don't burn your bridges on the way out, just leave, hopefully for an even better job. Regardless, watch yourself around this person.
posted by caddis at 9:36 PM on March 3, 2008
Please don't suggest I quit my job--just can't.
I'm afraid that's the only solution. Not that you should quit your job without having another one lined up if at all possible, but your boss CAN fire you at will most likely. And unless there are some utterly compelling reasons to stay, you are probably better off elsewhere.
I agree with boomchicka above - "I can't" usually means "I won't" or "I don't wanna [insert life-changing step here]." Unless you live in a state with towering unemployment rates, or this job offers you benefits and/or opportunities that you are unlikely to get anywhere else, you might want to write it off as a lost cause and start polishing up your resume.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 10:37 PM on March 3, 2008
I'm afraid that's the only solution. Not that you should quit your job without having another one lined up if at all possible, but your boss CAN fire you at will most likely. And unless there are some utterly compelling reasons to stay, you are probably better off elsewhere.
I agree with boomchicka above - "I can't" usually means "I won't" or "I don't wanna [insert life-changing step here]." Unless you live in a state with towering unemployment rates, or this job offers you benefits and/or opportunities that you are unlikely to get anywhere else, you might want to write it off as a lost cause and start polishing up your resume.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 10:37 PM on March 3, 2008
Read this. Work out how bad it is by that context. Try doing some of the things suggested in that article and/or look for another job.
posted by singingfish at 11:11 PM on March 3, 2008
posted by singingfish at 11:11 PM on March 3, 2008
I'm not sure that working for a state agency, she doesn't some protection from being randomly fired. Personally, I would keep the journal but unless his behavior shows an unambiguously pattern or discrimination or he does something clear unethical that his bosses would care about, you are not likely to get much satisfaction from complaining. (general statement of office politicaly reality - there exceptions but you would probably know if you worked in one of those places). If you have him nailed, then hopefully the agency would care about it and want to act. Even so, unless you get him fired, if you do complain, there is a high risk that he will make your job uncomfortable enough that you will need to quit anyway. (Yes, retaliation against whistleblowers is illegal (at least in certain cases) but again it is very hard to get any satisfaction)
Any way you can transfer with your department or agency so you get a new set of co-workers without having to quit?
posted by metahawk at 11:38 PM on March 3, 2008
Any way you can transfer with your department or agency so you get a new set of co-workers without having to quit?
posted by metahawk at 11:38 PM on March 3, 2008
Did your boss tell HER that she couldn't contact members of your office or did he tell you that you couldn't be in contact with her. If it is the former and she quit then there is no reason for her to follow his request.
Also, is it not possible at all to talk with your boss about the issue?
posted by Gomez_in_the_South at 12:31 AM on March 4, 2008
Also, is it not possible at all to talk with your boss about the issue?
posted by Gomez_in_the_South at 12:31 AM on March 4, 2008
This is the sixth or seventh time I've caught him in a lie to the staff, discrimination of some sort towards a staff member, or general unethical behavior. I don't know what to do. Please don't suggest I quit my job--just can't.
It is pointless to keep a job that makes you miserable, unless you'll literally starve if you don't keep it.
posted by me & my monkey at 3:33 AM on March 4, 2008
It is pointless to keep a job that makes you miserable, unless you'll literally starve if you don't keep it.
posted by me & my monkey at 3:33 AM on March 4, 2008
I'm not sure that working for a state agency, she doesn't some protection from being randomly fired
Mimzy - are you a member of a union? If so, go to them for job protection and preferably a transfer if possible. If not, unfortunately I think you're pretty much on your own.
posted by boomchicka at 3:59 AM on March 4, 2008
Mimzy - are you a member of a union? If so, go to them for job protection and preferably a transfer if possible. If not, unfortunately I think you're pretty much on your own.
posted by boomchicka at 3:59 AM on March 4, 2008
A state agency, at least theoretically, must follow additional rules with its employees (e.g. due process, other constitutional protections). There are cases barring public employers from non-job-related regulation of employee speech and association. In addition to your union, perhaps HR, you may want to try NELA, NELP, a local worker's rights clinic. (You don't say where you live other than southeast US, but here's one example from Jacksonville, Florida.)
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 4:25 AM on March 4, 2008
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 4:25 AM on March 4, 2008
I found out today that, after she quit, boss told her that she could not have any contact with members of our office.
Considering that your boss told her not to have contact with members of your office, and didn't tell you not to have contact with her, what's to worry about? In any case I don't see how he might have any control over her now that she's not working for him anymore. Unless there was a legal agreement or some such thing that she signed on quitting that mandated non-contact, but that's not your problem.
And yes, very scummy boss, pity you can't quit... though going by the available info he might fire you at the drop of a hat in any case.
posted by WalterMitty at 4:29 AM on March 4, 2008
Considering that your boss told her not to have contact with members of your office, and didn't tell you not to have contact with her, what's to worry about? In any case I don't see how he might have any control over her now that she's not working for him anymore. Unless there was a legal agreement or some such thing that she signed on quitting that mandated non-contact, but that's not your problem.
And yes, very scummy boss, pity you can't quit... though going by the available info he might fire you at the drop of a hat in any case.
posted by WalterMitty at 4:29 AM on March 4, 2008
Keep a log, don't be bullied, and make preparations for leaving.
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:11 AM on March 4, 2008
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:11 AM on March 4, 2008
logically, if you can't quit, you need to have your boss sacked!
Keep a log, document everything.
Consider going to his boss with a number of your colleagues and your log, with an "us or him" proposition (or is that ultimatum?)
posted by jannw at 9:18 AM on March 4, 2008
Keep a log, document everything.
Consider going to his boss with a number of your colleagues and your log, with an "us or him" proposition (or is that ultimatum?)
posted by jannw at 9:18 AM on March 4, 2008
Upon re-reading and consideration that the OP is in a state job, this could be why she feels she simply cannot quit - sometimes working for the government is a bright oasis of good jobs with great benefits in a desert of crappy jobs. The good news is also that it's harder to fire government workers on a whim. So it may be that you (the OP) are covered by anti-discrimination or anti-harrassment regulations.
I would still be prepared to have to get a new job at some point. Also, don't let yourself be bullied, as seanmpuckett says. Keep a thorough paper trail.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 9:52 AM on March 4, 2008
I would still be prepared to have to get a new job at some point. Also, don't let yourself be bullied, as seanmpuckett says. Keep a thorough paper trail.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 9:52 AM on March 4, 2008
This thread is closed to new comments.
Finding a new job really is the only rational answer, so I'm curious about why you think you can't. No offense, but 99% of the times I've heard someone say they "can't" quit, it has almost always ended up meaning there's some step they just don't want to do (e.g. take a pay cut, polish a skill, etc.).
posted by boomchicka at 8:23 PM on March 3, 2008