For men only: why do men marry?
February 18, 2008 2:38 PM Subscribe
For men only: Why do men marry?
If you are male, and have ever married, or hope to marry, tell me why? Current age and status will put your response in context. Also is anyone else puzzled by this?
If you are male, and have ever married, or hope to marry, tell me why? Current age and status will put your response in context. Also is anyone else puzzled by this?
This post was deleted for the following reason: weird chatfilter -- what is your problem to be solved? Otherwise this is just a "poll the audience" question with a weird barb at the end. Do you have a reason to think that men might marry for reasons other than women marry? Please try again next week with more details. Thank you. -- jessamyn
If you believe in abstinence before marriage, that might influence your decision. I've seen it before.
Most of the things I could present are available for Significant Others living together. It's important to me coming from a religious upbringing. Its just The Way Its Done.
Security. Compainionship. Someone to grow old with. Declaring my love and dedication for my SO for the world to see. Legal benefits such as tax breaks and insurance.
24, status? engaged? upper middle class? what kind of status
posted by phritosan at 2:45 PM on February 18, 2008
Most of the things I could present are available for Significant Others living together. It's important to me coming from a religious upbringing. Its just The Way Its Done.
Security. Compainionship. Someone to grow old with. Declaring my love and dedication for my SO for the world to see. Legal benefits such as tax breaks and insurance.
24, status? engaged? upper middle class? what kind of status
posted by phritosan at 2:45 PM on February 18, 2008
I married when I stopped holding out for someone better. Married young, suffice it to say.
posted by milarepa at 2:45 PM on February 18, 2008
posted by milarepa at 2:45 PM on February 18, 2008
I used to be puzzled by marriage. Thought it was all very silly.
Then, after years of casual dating and several serious relationships that never went anywhere or ended badly, I met a woman with whom I just clicked. After living together for years, buying a house together and that sort of thing, I decided I might as well make it official. I was 33, she 28.
Why did I bother in the first place? Well, going through life alone would be a fate worse than death for most people, including me. It's nice to have someone around who cares about you.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 2:46 PM on February 18, 2008
Then, after years of casual dating and several serious relationships that never went anywhere or ended badly, I met a woman with whom I just clicked. After living together for years, buying a house together and that sort of thing, I decided I might as well make it official. I was 33, she 28.
Why did I bother in the first place? Well, going through life alone would be a fate worse than death for most people, including me. It's nice to have someone around who cares about you.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 2:46 PM on February 18, 2008
I want to eventually marry to have a cohesive family, and spend my life with my best friend. I'm 20 and dating.
posted by sindas at 2:46 PM on February 18, 2008
posted by sindas at 2:46 PM on February 18, 2008
1) I love my mate. My love for her defines a big part of me. My love for her feels good.
2) I want the world to know that she is MINE. I am proud. Hands off, suckas!
3) I crave the social benefits that result. Tax creds! Ancestral approval! Grownupification!
4) She really really really wanted our offspring to be legitimate.
Why do you ask?
posted by Dizzy at 2:47 PM on February 18, 2008 [1 favorite]
2) I want the world to know that she is MINE. I am proud. Hands off, suckas!
3) I crave the social benefits that result. Tax creds! Ancestral approval! Grownupification!
4) She really really really wanted our offspring to be legitimate.
Why do you ask?
posted by Dizzy at 2:47 PM on February 18, 2008 [1 favorite]
Oh, also, neither of us want kids, nor do we really pay much attention to tax breaks or other financial bennies for now. But if one of us were to get sick or become unemployed, it's nice to know there's a safety net.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 2:47 PM on February 18, 2008
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 2:47 PM on February 18, 2008
I'm single, 22, straight, and expect to marry eventually. I esteem long term monogamous relationships in general, and would want to bind myself symbolically and practically to the woman I intended to remain faithful to in a way that just living together wouldn't replicate.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 2:47 PM on February 18, 2008
posted by StrikeTheViol at 2:47 PM on February 18, 2008
There's an emotion called "Love." Every so often, a male is consumed by it, and for some incredible reason feels a desire to do what his society has told him, and the woman for whom he feels this strange emotion, that if you want to be with someone indefinitely, you marry them. And so he does. It's really quite extraordinary.
(Apologies for the snark, but... really, the reasons men marry are the same as women. The ratio may be different - less desire for security, more reliable sex - but it's not like there's any kind of great mystery to unravel here. Some of us are simply satisfied with the amount of milk we have, and yearn for the joys, rewards, and challenges of cow ownership.)
posted by Tomorrowful at 2:47 PM on February 18, 2008 [4 favorites]
(Apologies for the snark, but... really, the reasons men marry are the same as women. The ratio may be different - less desire for security, more reliable sex - but it's not like there's any kind of great mystery to unravel here. Some of us are simply satisfied with the amount of milk we have, and yearn for the joys, rewards, and challenges of cow ownership.)
posted by Tomorrowful at 2:47 PM on February 18, 2008 [4 favorites]
Oh, and I'm 23, in a relationship but never married.
posted by Tomorrowful at 2:49 PM on February 18, 2008
posted by Tomorrowful at 2:49 PM on February 18, 2008
This thread is closed to new comments.
i apologize if that sounds crass. i know lovely men who are wonderful husbands and fathers, so i don't mean to be cynical about it. but given the biological impulse to spread one's seed, i've often wondered why marriage survived long after it ceased to be considered a business opportunity.
posted by thinkingwoman at 2:42 PM on February 18, 2008