Help me be a better auntie...
August 9, 2007 9:54 PM Subscribe
How can I be a better auntie?
Due to family complications, I have not spent a lot of time with my two pre-teen nieces. I'm working to change this and have made arrangements to hang out with them for a full day later this month. I have basically no experience in hanging out with kids. I want to have a special and fun day with my nieces, but have no idea what to take them to do. They are *not* girly-girls. I want to take them to do something really fun and memorable. I don't have a ton of money to spend. Our plan for the day so far includes me buying them a few things for school and going out to lunch.
So what are some fun, smart activities to do with girls in the 10-12 year old age group?
Due to family complications, I have not spent a lot of time with my two pre-teen nieces. I'm working to change this and have made arrangements to hang out with them for a full day later this month. I have basically no experience in hanging out with kids. I want to have a special and fun day with my nieces, but have no idea what to take them to do. They are *not* girly-girls. I want to take them to do something really fun and memorable. I don't have a ton of money to spend. Our plan for the day so far includes me buying them a few things for school and going out to lunch.
So what are some fun, smart activities to do with girls in the 10-12 year old age group?
It's been awhile since my niece was pre-teen, but just off the top of my head I was thinking of going to one of those places where you paint something ceramic and they put it in the kiln, although I'm not sure if that can all be done the same day. I have some friends who have made some really cool things (not like little animals and stuff, but neat mugs, etc.). Whatever they make will be a neat souvenir.
Bowling?
Another suggestion, even if they aren't girly-girls would be a beading class. It sounds like it would just be for the girly-girls, but there are so many cool beads out, that even someone who isn't all frilly can make a pretty cool necklace or bracelet (lace it on leather, etc.). The class is about 2 hours long, I think, at any bead store.
I'll try to think of some others.
posted by la petite marie at 10:21 PM on August 9, 2007
Bowling?
Another suggestion, even if they aren't girly-girls would be a beading class. It sounds like it would just be for the girly-girls, but there are so many cool beads out, that even someone who isn't all frilly can make a pretty cool necklace or bracelet (lace it on leather, etc.). The class is about 2 hours long, I think, at any bead store.
I'll try to think of some others.
posted by la petite marie at 10:21 PM on August 9, 2007
I was just deciding the other day that taking my future nieces and nephews out to a play might be my signature move. i know I loved theater as a kid.
Maybe a sports event? Or to a cultural festival? My aunt Beanie took me to a Japanese cultural faire and it got me hooked right around that age. I liked getting exposed to stuff by my aunts that my parents didn't do.
Kids like all kinds of random stuff, I used to like going to Estate Sales and Model Homes. I could totally see you pulling off such an outing with two preteens.
Hmm, I was also going to recommend exploring tide pools, but not in Lincoln, NE. Some other place to take a nature hike?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:34 PM on August 9, 2007
Maybe a sports event? Or to a cultural festival? My aunt Beanie took me to a Japanese cultural faire and it got me hooked right around that age. I liked getting exposed to stuff by my aunts that my parents didn't do.
Kids like all kinds of random stuff, I used to like going to Estate Sales and Model Homes. I could totally see you pulling off such an outing with two preteens.
Hmm, I was also going to recommend exploring tide pools, but not in Lincoln, NE. Some other place to take a nature hike?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:34 PM on August 9, 2007
I only have nephews, but when I was a non-girly girl of that age my family did a lot of hiking and generally running around in the woods, which I enjoyed very much. Any national forests, nature trails, etc. in your area would be a cheap option.
posted by frobozz at 10:36 PM on August 9, 2007
posted by frobozz at 10:36 PM on August 9, 2007
Amyms has the right idea, but I'd even ask them beforehand. Call them up and say "hey, what do you want to do on our day together?"
Do you have any museums nearby? They might be getting a bit old for a children's museum, but a museum with lots of interactive exhibits might be great fun. Museums often have free days, too.
posted by IndigoRain at 11:02 PM on August 9, 2007
Do you have any museums nearby? They might be getting a bit old for a children's museum, but a museum with lots of interactive exhibits might be great fun. Museums often have free days, too.
posted by IndigoRain at 11:02 PM on August 9, 2007
I know you said they aren't girlie girls, but my cousins and I had a crazy good time getting an old fashioned picture taken when we were about ten. To this day, I cherish that hokey thing. We went the southern belle route, but they do plenty of other themes. You can find those at most fairs, but also, a lot of touristy towns have regular photography places that take them, too. That may be a bit out of your price range, though. If you have a digital camera, you can always set up a bunch of your own memorable pictures, though. Let them help you come up with themes and locations and go wild.
You could set up a treasure hunt for them with some small, very cheap prizes. And, because I am completely juvenile, I always think water guns are a good time. I agree with those who suggest that you call up and see if there is anything they would really love to do. Do you know anything about their interests?
posted by diamondsky at 12:03 AM on August 10, 2007
You could set up a treasure hunt for them with some small, very cheap prizes. And, because I am completely juvenile, I always think water guns are a good time. I agree with those who suggest that you call up and see if there is anything they would really love to do. Do you know anything about their interests?
posted by diamondsky at 12:03 AM on August 10, 2007
what about an observatory.... then pizza from scratch... and a sleepover with dvd of their choice and icecream eaten from the bucket. their own bucket.
then breakfast in bed... all of you together... in one big bed dropping crumbs and listening to funky happy music.
or taking them out for breakfast.
posted by taff at 12:18 AM on August 10, 2007
then breakfast in bed... all of you together... in one big bed dropping crumbs and listening to funky happy music.
or taking them out for breakfast.
posted by taff at 12:18 AM on August 10, 2007
nthing Ask them what they want to do.
When I was their age (although, you know, a guy.), my uncle tried valiantly to be a good uncle, taking me to baseball games, and basketball games, and the like. The problem was, I'm not really a huge fan of watching pro sports (especially not baseball games. Especially especially not when the team you go to see is the boring do-nothing Devil Rays.). So although I did enjoy the time with my uncle, there were a million other things i'd rather have been doing while we spent time together. He picked up on this eventually, and now we mostly go eat places and cook together and the like (he's a dietician, I'm epicurious. It works out). So skip the part where you figure out what they like. Just ask.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 1:32 AM on August 10, 2007
When I was their age (although, you know, a guy.), my uncle tried valiantly to be a good uncle, taking me to baseball games, and basketball games, and the like. The problem was, I'm not really a huge fan of watching pro sports (especially not baseball games. Especially especially not when the team you go to see is the boring do-nothing Devil Rays.). So although I did enjoy the time with my uncle, there were a million other things i'd rather have been doing while we spent time together. He picked up on this eventually, and now we mostly go eat places and cook together and the like (he's a dietician, I'm epicurious. It works out). So skip the part where you figure out what they like. Just ask.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 1:32 AM on August 10, 2007
i agree with asking them.... but they may be the "um, er, i dunno..." type. which is the type i was.
so having a handful of affordable suggestions is a good idea.
like.."what would you like to do sweeties? i've thought about maybe the planetarium or making pizzas or a bike ride but i'm open to ideas if they sound boring..." (you'll get bonus points for creativity and flexibility at the same time... and they'll get an idea of what you mean. i.e. not disneyland.)
as a kid i would have loved a cool aunt who had some good suggestions. i never knew what was fun till i'd done it.
posted by taff at 3:02 AM on August 10, 2007
so having a handful of affordable suggestions is a good idea.
like.."what would you like to do sweeties? i've thought about maybe the planetarium or making pizzas or a bike ride but i'm open to ideas if they sound boring..." (you'll get bonus points for creativity and flexibility at the same time... and they'll get an idea of what you mean. i.e. not disneyland.)
as a kid i would have loved a cool aunt who had some good suggestions. i never knew what was fun till i'd done it.
posted by taff at 3:02 AM on August 10, 2007
If they are hanging out in your town rather than theirs (assuming they are in a different town/city than you), they may not know what is available to them. So taff's suggestion is a good idea because it shows them the kind of stuff you're thinking about, and will get them thinking on the same level. They may suggest something that's not available, but it may bring another, similar activity that you wouldn't have considered to the forefront.
My sister and I used to go and visit our childless uncle in the city a lot when we were kids. He did most of the activity-picking because he knew what was out there to do. Sometimes his choices were great, sometimes they seemed a little out there. But we always had a good time, and often ended up doing something we never would have done with our parents.
Your nieces will probably have a good time with you no matter what you do as long as you are talking to (and listening) to them and letting them be themselves.
Congratulations on taking the time to hang out with your nieces. I'm sure you will all have a great day together!
posted by melissa at 5:17 AM on August 10, 2007
My sister and I used to go and visit our childless uncle in the city a lot when we were kids. He did most of the activity-picking because he knew what was out there to do. Sometimes his choices were great, sometimes they seemed a little out there. But we always had a good time, and often ended up doing something we never would have done with our parents.
Your nieces will probably have a good time with you no matter what you do as long as you are talking to (and listening) to them and letting them be themselves.
Congratulations on taking the time to hang out with your nieces. I'm sure you will all have a great day together!
posted by melissa at 5:17 AM on August 10, 2007
Your nieces will probably have a good time with you no matter what you do as long as you are talking to (and listening) to them and letting them be themselves.
I agree.
When I was young, I looked up to the people most who just really wanted to talk to me and didn't seem annoyed my questions or treat me differently because I was "just a kid".
Being memorable and fun isn't that tricky. There isn't really a trick to getting along with kids anymore than there is for most people, just pay attention, ask question, and don't be judgmental or scold. Tell jokes, tell stories, show a real interest in what they have to say.
Take them out for lunch at a place they might not normally go (but some kids ARE pretty picky about food, so you might want to watch that.)
If you live in a city and they haven't been out much, take them on a walk, just sight seeing will be interesting.
Other activities: especially if it is nice weather, stay outside: go berry picking and then go home and bake a pie, go to the zoo, have a picnic at the park, hang out at the amusement park and let them get a special treat. The possibilities are pretty limitless. What is an activity you enjoy that they could be a part of?
Maybe buy them a disposable camera or let them use your digital (assuming it is a point and shoot). My young cousins love taking pictures more than anything.
posted by nuclear_soup at 6:37 AM on August 10, 2007 [1 favorite]
I agree.
When I was young, I looked up to the people most who just really wanted to talk to me and didn't seem annoyed my questions or treat me differently because I was "just a kid".
Being memorable and fun isn't that tricky. There isn't really a trick to getting along with kids anymore than there is for most people, just pay attention, ask question, and don't be judgmental or scold. Tell jokes, tell stories, show a real interest in what they have to say.
Take them out for lunch at a place they might not normally go (but some kids ARE pretty picky about food, so you might want to watch that.)
If you live in a city and they haven't been out much, take them on a walk, just sight seeing will be interesting.
Other activities: especially if it is nice weather, stay outside: go berry picking and then go home and bake a pie, go to the zoo, have a picnic at the park, hang out at the amusement park and let them get a special treat. The possibilities are pretty limitless. What is an activity you enjoy that they could be a part of?
Maybe buy them a disposable camera or let them use your digital (assuming it is a point and shoot). My young cousins love taking pictures more than anything.
posted by nuclear_soup at 6:37 AM on August 10, 2007 [1 favorite]
Do they like horses?
Yes?
Then, depending on their ages and interests, of course, how about finding a local horse farm that will give you all a quick riding lesson, or just a simple trail ride? Usually they have very tame horses that will be great for people who aren't experienced riders.
I'd go for a short trail ride; if it turns out they don't like it, it'll be over soon. Also, it's not that easy to have an actual conversation while riding on trails, sometimes.
All this assumes that they don't have horses in their regular lives...
posted by amtho at 7:57 AM on August 10, 2007
Yes?
Then, depending on their ages and interests, of course, how about finding a local horse farm that will give you all a quick riding lesson, or just a simple trail ride? Usually they have very tame horses that will be great for people who aren't experienced riders.
I'd go for a short trail ride; if it turns out they don't like it, it'll be over soon. Also, it's not that easy to have an actual conversation while riding on trails, sometimes.
All this assumes that they don't have horses in their regular lives...
posted by amtho at 7:57 AM on August 10, 2007
I am an aunt, but I only have nephews. And my nephew is considerably younger, 7 years old. But despite that, I am going to vote for a play. I've been taking my nephew to plays/musicals since he was 1 year old. I'd check out if there are any community theatres in the area and what they are putting on. It shouldn't be too expensive, and it would be a fun event.
posted by Becko at 9:35 AM on August 10, 2007
posted by Becko at 9:35 AM on August 10, 2007
Best answer: Share an interest that you are passionate about. If you can convey excitement about something, it will be contagious.
Try exposing them to something new and "grown up." I can trace my love of art back to an older sister who singled me out (7 kids in the family) to take to museums and who spent time showing me her college art books. An older cousin used to lend me his Dylan, folk and blues albums and talk to me about why they were cool. An uncle took me to a coffee house and to a fancy restaurant for lunch. An aunt took me to a Shakespeare play. These are all among my fondest memories because in every instance I was treated like an adult. These were not things I'd have necessarily picked to do - I'd have picked more kiddish, fun things. But it felt very exciting to be introduced to these smart, special, adult things.
All in all, the most important thing is just giving them the gift of time. If you can do it, I suggest occasionally taking them one at a time - you will get to know each one better, and you can focus more on that one child. Non-single kids are accustomed to being part of a family. Having one-to-one time can be very different and special. My sister has 4 kids, and besides day events, I try to take each one of them for a "pajama party" once a year. We do something fun in the day and then chat, make cookies, & watch movies and TV together until the wee hours of the night. It has made me much closer to each of them to have that time alone.
posted by madamjujujive at 12:01 PM on August 10, 2007 [1 favorite]
Try exposing them to something new and "grown up." I can trace my love of art back to an older sister who singled me out (7 kids in the family) to take to museums and who spent time showing me her college art books. An older cousin used to lend me his Dylan, folk and blues albums and talk to me about why they were cool. An uncle took me to a coffee house and to a fancy restaurant for lunch. An aunt took me to a Shakespeare play. These are all among my fondest memories because in every instance I was treated like an adult. These were not things I'd have necessarily picked to do - I'd have picked more kiddish, fun things. But it felt very exciting to be introduced to these smart, special, adult things.
All in all, the most important thing is just giving them the gift of time. If you can do it, I suggest occasionally taking them one at a time - you will get to know each one better, and you can focus more on that one child. Non-single kids are accustomed to being part of a family. Having one-to-one time can be very different and special. My sister has 4 kids, and besides day events, I try to take each one of them for a "pajama party" once a year. We do something fun in the day and then chat, make cookies, & watch movies and TV together until the wee hours of the night. It has made me much closer to each of them to have that time alone.
posted by madamjujujive at 12:01 PM on August 10, 2007 [1 favorite]
I would suggest spending time getting to them and showing a real interest in their lives.
You can have "girl time" to talk about all the stuff they might not with their own mom. I know that I've made it clear to my nieces and nephews, if they are ever afraid to talk to their parents about anything, they need to come to me.
You could also rent a movie and relax at home, bake something together you can enjoy later on while you having your "get to know you" sessions.
Kids don't really need much, just an open mind and heart...
posted by smart_ask at 5:04 PM on August 10, 2007 [1 favorite]
You can have "girl time" to talk about all the stuff they might not with their own mom. I know that I've made it clear to my nieces and nephews, if they are ever afraid to talk to their parents about anything, they need to come to me.
You could also rent a movie and relax at home, bake something together you can enjoy later on while you having your "get to know you" sessions.
Kids don't really need much, just an open mind and heart...
posted by smart_ask at 5:04 PM on August 10, 2007 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by amyms at 10:08 PM on August 9, 2007