How to become less of a workaholic?
May 24, 2007 8:25 PM Subscribe
I tend to work, or think about business, a lot. I'm involved in two separate successful businesses that I started. And I have ideas for more. Even all my hobbies are 'productive' activities where you're learning something new or creating something, rather than pure recreational activities like watching TV, hanging out, or reading fiction. Consequently, I haven't put enough value on my social life and meeting new people. I sometimes see that aspect of life as unproductive and not as valuable as other things I could be doing. It's not a great way to be and it's something I'd like to change. I'm looking for suggestions on how others have overcome this.
I can understand how other things can win out over having a social life. I think that is perfectly fine although uncommon. But if you still want to accomplish a lot and still have a social life you can do the things you have to do in your day except do them with other people. Eat, sleep, commute, exercise, work, etc. with other people. Doing so won't necessarily take away from your productivity, yet there is still plenty of room to get a lot of socializing done in a productive day. I dont know your relationship status but if you got a romantic partner it could help you to stop and smell the roses and refocus your priorities perhaps.
posted by GleepGlop at 8:49 PM on May 24, 2007
posted by GleepGlop at 8:49 PM on May 24, 2007
I'm a bit of an isolationist myself, but there is no doubt about the importance of personal interaction.
I lived on my own for about 4 years and worked between 80-100 hours a week. The money was great, I wanted/needed for nothing and I now have a number of staff who listen to my ideas and I can still develop and work through stuff on my own.
The only thing is that about 4 years ago (I've worked there for 8 years now) I realized that I was missing a serious amount of personal interaction and it was starting to impact even my work environment.
It might sound superfluous, but personal interaction in a myriad of situations is beneficial for all aspects of life. I noticed that new clients and co-workers were approaching me differently and that a lot of my older friends were becoming increasingly distant.
Here's what I did.
Set a time specifically for working from home. I tend to get intensely involved with what I'm working on so I will only allow myself to start work at home at 9pm if it meets a specific criteria (needs to be done right away, is interesting to the extent that I can't indulge myself throughout the day, and I have absolutely no other commitments -- even to my SO with whom I live with).
Second, weekends and social events are paramount. It was difficult to make that leap but I used the opportunity to either network (not in the ostentatious or annoying way, more of fact-finding non-fiction way) or make the SO happy.
Third, comfort at home is the 100% most important thing to me. I ask for opinions on a lot of my ideas and work and use the initial reaction to base future work plans (does it work? would you use it?) or simply listen and not get upset if the complaint is that I'm working too much. The latter is hard to pull-off but you have to try and be receptive to this.
Finally, go off your gut instinct and stop analyzing everything. When I wasn't in a work environment I would start concentrating on work and, even though I knew I shouldn't, I would just zone out. Now, if I know I shouldn't, I stop immediately regardless of other mitigating circumstances (see above).
posted by purephase at 8:49 PM on May 24, 2007 [1 favorite]
I lived on my own for about 4 years and worked between 80-100 hours a week. The money was great, I wanted/needed for nothing and I now have a number of staff who listen to my ideas and I can still develop and work through stuff on my own.
The only thing is that about 4 years ago (I've worked there for 8 years now) I realized that I was missing a serious amount of personal interaction and it was starting to impact even my work environment.
It might sound superfluous, but personal interaction in a myriad of situations is beneficial for all aspects of life. I noticed that new clients and co-workers were approaching me differently and that a lot of my older friends were becoming increasingly distant.
Here's what I did.
Set a time specifically for working from home. I tend to get intensely involved with what I'm working on so I will only allow myself to start work at home at 9pm if it meets a specific criteria (needs to be done right away, is interesting to the extent that I can't indulge myself throughout the day, and I have absolutely no other commitments -- even to my SO with whom I live with).
Second, weekends and social events are paramount. It was difficult to make that leap but I used the opportunity to either network (not in the ostentatious or annoying way, more of fact-finding non-fiction way) or make the SO happy.
Third, comfort at home is the 100% most important thing to me. I ask for opinions on a lot of my ideas and work and use the initial reaction to base future work plans (does it work? would you use it?) or simply listen and not get upset if the complaint is that I'm working too much. The latter is hard to pull-off but you have to try and be receptive to this.
Finally, go off your gut instinct and stop analyzing everything. When I wasn't in a work environment I would start concentrating on work and, even though I knew I shouldn't, I would just zone out. Now, if I know I shouldn't, I stop immediately regardless of other mitigating circumstances (see above).
posted by purephase at 8:49 PM on May 24, 2007 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: I have a great deal of social interaction, but it's pretty much related to business. I'm involved in this big networking group full of cool, creative people, where everyone knows who I am, but that's not the same as purely social contact.
posted by lsemel at 9:08 PM on May 24, 2007
posted by lsemel at 9:08 PM on May 24, 2007
Have you considered doing some volunteer work/joining a community group?
These are often quite social activites (depending on the group, of course), however if you get involved in the organisational side of things, it may cater to your workaholic tendencies while also giving you time to socialise. Bonus points for it being an interest of your SOs as well.
posted by ysabet at 9:37 PM on May 24, 2007
These are often quite social activites (depending on the group, of course), however if you get involved in the organisational side of things, it may cater to your workaholic tendencies while also giving you time to socialise. Bonus points for it being an interest of your SOs as well.
posted by ysabet at 9:37 PM on May 24, 2007
Are you actually unhappy or do you just want to be more "normal"? If it's the latter I wouldn't worry about it. Stay with what makes you happy.
posted by Ookseer at 10:34 PM on May 24, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by Ookseer at 10:34 PM on May 24, 2007 [2 favorites]
I just wanted to provide another perspective that may match your current view of the world (the value of business and 'productive' activities versus reading, tv, socializing with others).
There is an intermediate. What activities do you enjoy learning or teaching yourself or are there new topics you want to learn about? Do you learn about any of the current material by lectures?
My point is that you can develop friendships with such people. Trying a new physical challenge is more enjoyable with others suffering in pain right next to you. Learning new activities - your new friend(s) can point you to other lectures, other persepctives, and provide you with new ideas. You don't have to have friends that watch Tv all day if that is what you decide to do.
You could try craigslist (be specific -- interested in attending lectures on XYZZY) or clubs devoted to your interest or hobby.
As for some of the 'escapes' - have you tried a few? Some fiction books or plays do provide you with another perspective on a particular issue. You will not get this point of view by reading the news summary - you need to understand the topic from someone who writes about it and has experienced it and then you can enter that world. In other words, you can learn from some of those activities. Maybe ask why people follow what appears to be mindless activities to you. Or, remember that you too do activities that others may deem as a waste of time (e.g., do you tell people you read and post on Ask MeFi?)
Good luck
posted by Wolfster at 4:48 AM on May 25, 2007
There is an intermediate. What activities do you enjoy learning or teaching yourself or are there new topics you want to learn about? Do you learn about any of the current material by lectures?
My point is that you can develop friendships with such people. Trying a new physical challenge is more enjoyable with others suffering in pain right next to you. Learning new activities - your new friend(s) can point you to other lectures, other persepctives, and provide you with new ideas. You don't have to have friends that watch Tv all day if that is what you decide to do.
You could try craigslist (be specific -- interested in attending lectures on XYZZY) or clubs devoted to your interest or hobby.
As for some of the 'escapes' - have you tried a few? Some fiction books or plays do provide you with another perspective on a particular issue. You will not get this point of view by reading the news summary - you need to understand the topic from someone who writes about it and has experienced it and then you can enter that world. In other words, you can learn from some of those activities. Maybe ask why people follow what appears to be mindless activities to you. Or, remember that you too do activities that others may deem as a waste of time (e.g., do you tell people you read and post on Ask MeFi?)
Good luck
posted by Wolfster at 4:48 AM on May 25, 2007
Not sure how realistic a suggestion this is for you, but my recommendation would be to take up some form of surfing, be it bodyboarding or traditional surfboard riding. Surfing allows a kind of escape which you don't get in many other activities IMO and you can get incredibly fit at the same time.
posted by Onanist at 5:28 AM on May 25, 2007
posted by Onanist at 5:28 AM on May 25, 2007
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by longsleeves at 8:40 PM on May 24, 2007