I need help with picking a genre or style of dressing
November 18, 2006 3:43 PM   Subscribe

I normally dress preppy but was recently told that it doesn't match my personality which is antisocial. People tell me I act like the person that should have lots of tattoos and dress like the lead singer of a modern rock band, but I dont like that style, any suggestions on stores or styles of dress that will fit my personality? links to pictures etc
posted by antisocialiting to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (31 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Don't change your style for the reason of making yourself better fit a personality stereotype. There are plenty of reasons to change your style, but this one doesn't strike me as a worthwhile one.
posted by -harlequin- at 3:55 PM on November 18, 2006

Best answer: Errr... you want to be this shallow because why?

Do you enjoy the way you dress? Does it reflect the sort of style that you like to see on yourself?

Then why listen to a bunch of idiots who have to pigeonhole personalities into modes of dress?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 3:55 PM on November 18, 2006

Best answer: Lots of the new modern "punk" bands dress preppy.
posted by JekPorkins at 3:56 PM on November 18, 2006

Best answer: You should...wear clothes you like? You don't have to have a calculated "style."
posted by SoftRain at 4:04 PM on November 18, 2006

Best answer: Go to a thrift store, sift through every single rack, grab every article of clothing that strikes your fancy, and buy it. Turn all your filters off, no matter how hideously ugly or preppy or WTF-inducing, if it intrigues you, wear it. Then how can anyone tell you it doesn't suit your personality? Most of my favorite clothes were aquired in this way. I actually don't like to go shopping with other people, sometimes their opinions get in the way.
posted by bobobox at 4:08 PM on November 18, 2006 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Yeah, the people who told you to change your style were idiots. You'd just be a fool to follow their advice.
posted by jayder at 4:13 PM on November 18, 2006

Response by poster: no I don't like the way I dress so much so I really do want to change.
The thrift store thing sounds like a really good idea
posted by antisocialiting at 4:14 PM on November 18, 2006

First rule of knowing yourself: wear what's comfortable to you. Regareless of wether you dress like Farnsworth Bently, Tucker Carlson, Reggie Mantle, or Lemmy from Mötorhead, it's who you are inside that truly counts.
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:21 PM on November 18, 2006

I don't like the way I dress so much

If you truly don't like what you're wearing, then go out and buy the type of stuff you do like. I find that it's easiest to do if I 'tune in' to what others are wearing, and use that to determine what looks good and what doesn't. (But don't interpret this as mindlessly imitating others--don't buy crap just because it's what your friends wear/suggest. I just mean that, if you see something that someone looks good in, and then see it for sale, you should buy it. I've had bad luck buying things that looked good on the shelf, but they ended up looking horrible on me.)

I've had people tell me about how much they liked the Salvation Army (thrift store), but I was pretty disappointed personally.
posted by fogster at 4:41 PM on November 18, 2006

Do you regularly clean and iron your clothes? Do you keep them well serviced and buy new things as they wear out?

For an antisocial look, I would hold off on all of these things - slightly dirty, stained, wrinkled and dishevelled clothes, even if they are "preppy", will look a little more punk rock.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:18 PM on November 18, 2006

Clothes are a huge part of nonverbal communication. Strangers, consciously or not, pick up lots of little signals about who you are based on the way you look. So, if you've realized you're sending out messages that misrepresent who you are (and you don't like misrepresenting yourself) by all means, change your style. It's not shallow... it's the way human beings interact.
posted by the jam at 5:32 PM on November 18, 2006

Dressing to a psychological label seems like a bad idea.
posted by unmake at 5:37 PM on November 18, 2006


If anyone calls you out and uses the "tatoos & rock band member" label to describe your personality tendencies, they are probably of the more bland flavour of mainstream, and are not qualified to make any style judgement. The 'antisocial' description is likely more a problem with your inarticulate colleague, and what's really going on is that you are just more creative and broader thinking than they are.

I'm with Meatbomb... rock the preppie style, but you can dishevel it here and there (Small example: vintage Lacoste shirts that are faded, and a bit threadbare at the collars. Take take the labels off, and reattach them upside down, all sloppy-like. That should tide you over for a couple of seasons.) Be all 'antisocial' and shit, and make the gender of your choice get all hot and bothered by your incongruity.
posted by Extopalopaketle at 6:01 PM on November 18, 2006

Mafia-prep: raybans, black shirt, white tie, skull tie-clasp and cuff links.
posted by SPrintF at 6:09 PM on November 18, 2006

I cut my hair short a few years back and usually wear dress shirts and casual pants these days. And I still have people who think I'm the strangest person they know. If the image absolutely depends on the clothes and hairstyle then the clothes and hairstyle are probably a lie.
posted by winston at 6:12 PM on November 18, 2006

Why is everyone jumping on dude? The Jam is right. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to change your style, especially if you think a new style would coincide with your personality more aptly. People judge you based on how you dress, whether you like it or not. As for "antisocial personality"? Thrift stores are the place to go.
posted by maxreax at 6:28 PM on November 18, 2006 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: thanks maxreax and meatbomb for coming to my defense.
I guess thrift stores will be my best option
as for everybody else that posted or is thinking of posting not to change my style or asking why I would want to do that. I'm not asking if I should or shouldn't I'm asking for suggestions on what would be a possible style so lets stay on topic and try to give suggestions on what would be possible styles please thanks
posted by antisocialiting at 6:58 PM on November 18, 2006

Best answer: screw genres of dress. I love send massively mixed messages with my threads. The baseball hats say either 'jock' or 'hip-hop.' The bike chain bracelet & phillips screwhead earrings say 'industrial.' The flannel and levi's say 'redneck.' The chucks and quarter length brown leather jacket say 'retro.' The LP record charm chain and silver rings day 'guido,' the goatee says 'grunge,' the shoulder length-hair says 'rocker.' the t-shirts, depending on which one I wear say 'rocker' or 'geek.'

End result: complete confusion. Keep 'em guessing. Insist on yourself, never imitate.
posted by jonmc at 7:03 PM on November 18, 2006

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned that people who have tattoos and dress like rockstars are not necessarily anti-social. Some of the nicest, friendliest people I know present themselves this way.
posted by echo0720 at 7:03 PM on November 18, 2006

People do use clothing to express themselves; maybe you want to send a different message. Buy Esquire, Rolling Stone and some other magazines. Look for guys whose style you like, as well as whose ideas attract you. You don't have to copy their style, but it can influence your own personal style.
posted by theora55 at 7:41 PM on November 18, 2006

Find someone who's good at thrift store shopping to go with you the first time. There's ALOT of crap, and alot of people who know how to find the good stuff. Don't be afraid to buy something you like, but don't get discouraged if you find nothing you like in an entire store (or 3).

Building a style will probably take more than a little while, pay attention to what other people are wearing. Oh and glance through thesartorialist
posted by stratastar at 7:44 PM on November 18, 2006

Best answer: Dress to flatter your body type — either to reveal, enhance or conceal. I dress against type myself (a purported 'creative' who dresses conservatively, i.e., somber suits, classic collar shirts and subdued ties), gaining me easy credibility, but have most items tailored to be more fitted. The result is confidence and the appearance of effortless style, all of which has definitely been a help both personally and professionally.

Oh, yes, and always buy the best shoes you can afford. And keep those suckers shined, but not shiny.

And for those who consider such investment in plumage to be shallow, I suggest you refer to these observations.
posted by Haruspex at 8:10 PM on November 18, 2006

My boyfriend has a style that may appeal to you and allow you to keep somewhat of your same style so that you don't have to throw it all out at once. He kind of does a punk/preppy/hiphop thing, which doesn't sound like it makes sense, but looks good. Usually something like Nike Dunks SB, tightish jeans, a preppy polo, and a hoodie something like this: http://www.karmaloop.com/products.asp?ProductID=14559&VendorCode=TRI

It also an aesthetic that I like, basically preppy and everyday "normal" but with one or two slightly "subversive" items, like the hoody above, or little gold axe earrings for me.
posted by wuzandfuzz at 9:07 PM on November 18, 2006

antisocialiting, do you have any examples of people (w/pictures on the internet) whose dress style you like and think would look good on you?
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:10 PM on November 18, 2006

Dress like Johnny Cash.
posted by crabintheocean at 10:00 PM on November 18, 2006

A few years ago, whenever I was trying on clothes, I made a point of picking up at least one item of clothing that seemed like something I would never wear, just to see what it would look and feel like. I didn't like most of them, but sometimes I surprised myself. Sometimes clothes that seem "so not me" at first have a lot of potential.

So yeah, go with the thrift store thing, but mix it up a bit. If you just pick out things you already like, they will probably tend to be things like other clothing you already own because you're used to seeing yourself dress that way. Try something different. You never know!
posted by heatherann at 5:52 AM on November 19, 2006

Best answer: Thanks for your question- I realised I feel the same way but never quite verbalized it. Over time I tried different styles but realized none quite fit except perhaps a generic one: logo-less upscale, good for anything. The main benefit is I wasn't square-pegged into anything or any click (eventually). Its very valuable to our perspectives,and growth to be able to associate with anyone you want to, and not be stuck anywhere.
posted by uni verse at 9:26 AM on November 19, 2006

you can wear a suit and smear fake blood all over it
posted by matteo at 12:14 PM on November 19, 2006

I had a conversation about my clothing habits that went much like antisocialiting had. My then roommate was a guy who skateboarded and smoked a lot of pot. I was a girl who made handmade greeting cards, crocheted, collaged, cooked, biked everywhere, did yoga, and smoked a lot of pot.

He called me out one day that I "dressed like a boy." I had gotten some hand me down shorts from my boyfriend, which fit better than anything I could buy in the women's stores and Key West had no consistently viable thirfting to speak of. I was 5'7" and weighed 102 pounds, so Express and Banana weren't terribly friendly options. The best defense I could come up with was, "I own a skirt. I wear a pink tee shirt sometimes."

But we had this conversation and I was totally bummed. I was like, Man people think I look like a girl trying to look like a boy. So I bought some skirts. Some more flattering shirts. And tried different fabric for pants.

I still have the pink tee shirt, and both pairs of shorts that seem to have inspired this, and they fit much better now because I weigh 15 pounds more. But my style is much broader.

Good for you for taking someone's wake up call to heart, even if they weren't very graceful with it.

What it took for me was to stop the editor in my head when I was leafing through racks of clothes. I was so down on my body (I hated being so thin) that I would shoot down most articles of clothing as things that would never fit me, or my personality, so I had to just try on everything until I got a more realistic handle of how things really fit on me. The shirt that represents the first big leap that way is still in my closet and it's going to fall apart soon, which makes me sad. It's got a plunging neckline and it's a bluey green color and its stretchy. I love it so.

But, because my style is broad I can say, I don't shave or wear make up, but once a year or so I do dye my hair a color that nearly perfectly matches my natural color. It makes it shine a little brighter and feel the tiniest bit softer. Nobody ever notices, but I do.
posted by bilabial at 3:54 PM on November 19, 2006

I've never been one to dress for my personality. I dress in order to get by. To me, that means not get hassles and being allowed to go where I will. Ye olde prep school look accomplishes this very well. I will mention, I'm 49, and date back to when cops routinely hassled what many MeFites seem to enjoy calling "dirty hippies". I am the hippy with the short hair and clean, conservative clothes.
posted by Goofyy at 3:01 AM on November 20, 2006

I changed my mind. Your current style sounds hot in a kind of 'American Psycho' way! Let it be.
posted by crabintheocean at 8:35 PM on November 30, 2006

« Older How to avoid hellish DC holiday traffic?   |   How to overcome defenses and lose the emotional... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.