Effing Tailgaters.
July 19, 2006 10:55 PM   Subscribe

Does anyone know where I can buy a bumper sticker that says "The closer you get, the slower I go" in the Perth metro area?
posted by krisjohn to Travel & Transportation (15 answers total)
You can buy one at a place like this, and have it shipped there.
posted by fake at 10:58 PM on July 19, 2006

My advice - knock up the text in Word, print it out on standard A4, then afix it to your bumper by covering it with a rectangle of transparent Contact.

And I don't mean to be rude or anything, but if everybody just did the f*cking speed limit in the first place, it wouldn't matter which lane you travelled in. The Australian Road Rules allow you to travel in the right-hand lane if both lanes are congested. I've had it up to here with some f*ckwit tearing up behind me in peak hour and making it perfectly clear that he expects me to merge left so he can do 100 in an 80 zone, only to see me at the next set of lights.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 11:40 PM on July 19, 2006

By the way, I think obiwan's comment is brilliant and will be what I do if I ever decide I need a bumper sticker. Cheap, easy, and should come off much cleaner than a typical sticker.
posted by rafter at 12:22 AM on July 20, 2006

I was going to suggest printing your own. I found that page by googling "inkjet bumper stickers". I find the cafepress design to be pretty lame, although you could also use cafepress to print a bumper sticker for you. There are million places that will print bumperstickers for you.

I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I find that being tailgated is a direct result of driving the wrong speed in the wrong lane. You may have a right to do 80km/h in the fast lane of a highway, but you also have the right to walk around in your underwear outside a children's day care center: just because you can doesn't mean it's a good idea.

I disagree. I think you did mean to be rude. Certainly everyone who's ever tailgated is rude. And while someone may have the right to go the speed limit in the fast lane, tailgating is always illegal.
posted by delmoi at 1:13 AM on July 20, 2006

The best "bumper sticker" that humbles a tailgater are your hazard lights. Crazy bastard drivers in France chill out immediately after application.
posted by gsb at 3:03 AM on July 20, 2006

Krisjohn, I'm from Perth. Enough said. It's home to the least courteous drivers I've ever come across anywhere in the world. Your bumper sticker sounds brilliant, wish I thought of it myself. And I sympathise even though I'm in Sydney these days.
posted by Jubey at 3:39 AM on July 20, 2006

My mom drives on the Long Island Expressway a lot and she's elderly and a scared driver, so never leaves the center of three lanes. And she's CONSTANTLY tailgated anyway, usually by giant SUVs. I'm betting Long Island drivers would give Perth drivers a run for their money. I got her this exact bumper sticker - had it made up by a place like this - and she loves it.
posted by CunningLinguist at 4:36 AM on July 20, 2006

Mod note: a few comments removed, this is clearly a question about bumperstickers, not etiquette - take it to metatalk or email otherwise
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:24 AM on July 20, 2006

I think home-inkjet printed stickers are not weather-proof.

Better off doing Cafe Press as suggested above.

Good idea BTW.
posted by radioamy at 6:07 AM on July 20, 2006

For persistent tailgaters I either do the hazard light thing, or slow down, to a crawl if necessary, or in extreme circumstances VERY lightly tap the brake pedal repeatedly -- NOT enough to actually engage the brakes and slow the car, but enough to flash the brake lights on and off maybe ten times. It really freaks out whoever's following you, especially at highway speeds.

I have pathetic fantasies of setting up a pixel board in the back of my truck which can flash messages such as this to the driver behind, since it usually seems to happen to me at night.

Canadian drivers seem to be particularly bad at tailgating, maybe because they're used to doing it in blowing snow, when it can actually be safer than keeping so far back you can't see the guy's lights in front of you.

(I have heard a story, possibly an urban myth, about one person who rigged up a whole set of photographic strobes in the back window to a switch in the front seat so that he could blast a tailgater with a huge flash of light. However he only used it once as the first guy he did it to crashed his car).
posted by unSane at 7:40 AM on July 20, 2006

It doesn't have custom messages, but nevertheless:


posted by atholbrose at 8:01 AM on July 20, 2006

Interestingly, the Drivemocion does not list its messages, other than showing illustrations of 'Thanks' and a smiley-face. Can I assume the "Back off, asshole!' and the ever useful 'Fuck you!' are included?
posted by mojohand at 9:47 AM on July 20, 2006

According to the video demo it has 'back off'

posted by unSane at 1:01 PM on July 20, 2006

Goddamit, yet another idea that someone has gone and done first. I always imagined it like this:

The left-hand control selects the core message:

"Back off..."
"Keep your distance..."
"Turn off your foglights, you're blinding me..."

and then you can follow-up via the right-hand control as appropriate:


Hitting both controls would ideally start up the trunk-mounted flame-thrower, but that's more of a '2.0' feature.
posted by chrismear at 3:10 AM on July 21, 2006

There's a shop in Garden City in Booragoon that sells all that useless, "amusing" shit - it's called Thingz or Showbitz or something like that (I'm hoping you know the kind of shop I mean. I think there's only one at Garden City)- they had that amongst their collection of bumper stickers a month or so ago. Despite the way Perth people tend to drive, I'd be surprised if the shop's sold out of those stickers.
posted by bunglin jones at 6:31 AM on July 21, 2006

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