How to get rid of imposing friends?

July 3, 2006 7:38 PM

What is the best way to ditch specific friends who keep imposing?

I have two friends who constantly impose and drink all of my alcohol without ever pitching in to help pay for it. I hate to be a jerk and I know they are down on money so whats the best way to get them away from me without being a complete asshat?

posted by isopropyl to Human Relations (17 answers total)

Don't invite them over?
When they show up, don't be home?
Don't have a big stock of booze in the house?
Tell them "Hey, dude, stop drinking my booze!"?
Tell them "Don't come over anymore."?
posted by Meatbomb at 7:42 PM on July 3, 2006 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I forgot to add in there they buy us the booze... =)
posted by isopropyl at 7:49 PM on July 3, 2006

Best answer: Growing up, we had a housekeeper. He worked for my parents for years, but gradually developed an alcohol problem. Eventually, it crossed over to his work and he'd come over, find the booze, and drink it. Since he did a great job and it's hard to find good help, instead of firing him, my dad did something innovative to fix the situation. My dad urinated in one of the liquor bottles, placed in among the others, and informed the housekeeper of the situation. Needless to say, the housekeeper stopped drinking our booze for fear of drinking the urine spirit. (We also helped him get help and he's still working for my parents and sober for about 12 years now, in case you are curious). But, I thought this to be a fantastic solution to the problem. Maybe you can use it! Let your friends know that one of the bottles has urine in it, and they can drink at their own risk. The psychological threat is certainly convincing!
posted by galimatias at 7:49 PM on July 3, 2006 [1 favorite]

Yes. Call them out on it. They aren't being good friends, so there isn't a huge need for tact in this circumstance.

If it was me, the next time they came over, I would only serve orange soda and malteds... but I loves me some orange soda.
posted by sdrawkcab at 7:49 PM on July 3, 2006

They buy you booze and then you complain about them drinking it without paying you? Somehow I get the feeling this excess friends situation might be a self limiting problem.
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:51 PM on July 3, 2006

What? They purchase it because you're underage, but with your money? Then guess what - they drink whatever they want. If I'm misreading your questions and comment, sorry, but that's the best I could make of it.
posted by tristeza at 7:58 PM on July 3, 2006

I think you need to explain the situation better before anyone can offer good advice. They're buying the alcohol but aren't paying for it? Can we assume that you're underage and you're giving them money to buy the booze? If so, your question "whats the best way to get them away from me" doesn't make any sense. Stop giving them money to buy you beer.
posted by justkevin at 8:05 PM on July 3, 2006

Best answer: You're going to have to find new booze suppliers if you're underage and they're buying it for you with your money. A booze supplier of true integrity would not presume to consume all of your spirits, but ess scrupulous ones may take advantage of their position. If this is the sort of supplier you have, you're out of luck.

If they're buying you booze with their money, they can drink as much as they like and you should be damn grateful you get any.
posted by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on July 3, 2006

What we did in college was buy some alcohol of the supplier's choosing as a sort of commission. This way they have their own booze to drink. Usually booze suppliers are just looking to hang, so you have to give them something.
posted by Pacheco at 8:19 PM on July 3, 2006

Yeah... if you're underage, and they're BUYING the booze for you, I can't feel too much sympathy for you.

Your best bet is to set it up with them that in return for their buying you the booze, you buy them a six pack or something of their own, but what's yours is yours.
posted by smitt at 8:43 PM on July 3, 2006

If you don't want these friends drinking your beer, don't expect, or ask, them to buy it for you.

Were you friends with these people before you asked them to buy you alcohol?

Would you consider them friends if they didn't purchase alcohol for you?

Are you 19 or 20, and your friends 21? Or, are these friends advanced in age, looking for free alcohol?
posted by LoriFLA at 8:56 PM on July 3, 2006

Yeah, I didn't realize you were forking over money for them to buy you beer... that's your party foul, not theirs. Sorry kiddo.
posted by sdrawkcab at 9:09 PM on July 3, 2006

Pachero has it. Whether you find new people to buy you booze or not, make a deal where they can a specific amount for helping you out. Then, everyone has their own booze and there is no communal supply to easily mooch from.
posted by utsutsu at 9:24 PM on July 3, 2006

Maybe you should take some time out and focus on other challenges. Stop partying for a couple of weeks and these guys will dissapear on their own.
posted by nanojath at 10:51 PM on July 3, 2006

Yeah, when you're "barely skimming by", maybe you should cut back on the booze spending.
posted by reklaw at 12:39 AM on July 4, 2006

Maybe they feel a little like you're imposing by asking them to do your errands for you?
posted by elisabeth r at 7:11 AM on July 4, 2006

Best answer: Tell them to leave the booze on the kitchen table and then get the hell out. If they ask why you are being such an asshole, tell them "Because I am and now get the hell out. And next time just leave the refreshments on the porch. No need to even knock."
posted by zackdog at 12:50 AM on July 5, 2006