Autism symptoms in women
December 15, 2024 3:41 PM Subscribe
Someone in a previous post suggested I might have autism. I'm starting to feel I might and wondering how it presents in women from people who have lived experience?
I have severe social anxiety, always have as long as I can remember. My executive function is poor, struggle to plan and my room is always a mess.
I'm addicted to shopping when stressed, as a way to soothe myself to the point I'm in quite a bit of debt.
I obsessively make lists of books and movies I want to read, particularly when I'm stressed. I've done this for decades.
I used to bang my head on the stairs when I was frustrated when I was younger.
I find it difficult to focus on conversation and social interaction drains me. I'm often "out of it", though I've been told I make good eye contact. I struggle to focus on things in general.
There are complicating factors - there is a history of childhood trauma, possible C-PTSD, anxiety & depression.
I know you can't diagnose me, but I want to know if any of the above sound familiar or if they collectively may possibly point to autism.
I have severe social anxiety, always have as long as I can remember. My executive function is poor, struggle to plan and my room is always a mess.
I'm addicted to shopping when stressed, as a way to soothe myself to the point I'm in quite a bit of debt.
I obsessively make lists of books and movies I want to read, particularly when I'm stressed. I've done this for decades.
I used to bang my head on the stairs when I was frustrated when I was younger.
I find it difficult to focus on conversation and social interaction drains me. I'm often "out of it", though I've been told I make good eye contact. I struggle to focus on things in general.
There are complicating factors - there is a history of childhood trauma, possible C-PTSD, anxiety & depression.
I know you can't diagnose me, but I want to know if any of the above sound familiar or if they collectively may possibly point to autism.
I really like these UCLAhealth ADHD and Autism articles for helping women organize their thoughts and talk to (taking a deep breath) jackass male psychiatrists who can't be arsed to be aware that neurodivergence presents differently in girls and women.
I think you're in the UK, and based on what I've heard on reddit the waiting list to get tested is 4-6 years at this point, so this is my advice: you are allowed to use resources for any named condition if it helps you solve your own problems. You are free to use resources directed at ADHD, Autism, CPTSD, TBI, Bipolar, Borderline, anxiety, any other kind of depression, chronic illness (particularly in learning to manage executive dysfunction, there's information in that realm that rarely crosses over to neurodivergence materials).
Focus on your symptoms as you experience them, don't worry too much about the label (beyond, obviously, whatever helps you feel more understood). One of the reasons I say that is: help is not coming, not in this decade anyway. We will have to wait for the US and UK healthcare systems to collapse and rebuild before anybody is coming to help adults of any flavor of neurodivergence, so we have to do most of it ourselves and with each other.
The other reason I say this is because I think after the collapse and reformation, none of the labels we use today are going to be in use because they already don't make sense and they are rotten with sexism. People working from the same diagnostic manual will (and women frequently get their diagnoses overwritten whether they asked for it or not) diagnose the same woman with ADHD, Bipolar, Borderline, and "just unpleasant/go away and stop bothering me". Additionally, people with trauma OR brain injury OR any depressive disorder with cognitive defects OR autism OR ADHD all share a similar suite of functional and sensory processing challenges - we need a plot graph, not a spectrum.
It can be exceptionally hard to get a dual diagnosis, as well, thanks to the mess of the DSM. AuDHD is where a lot of women (who often strongly identify with the ADHD components but also have more severe social issues than fits the criteria for ADHD - BUT rarely scoring as severe as boys/men because some level of social pretense is usually beaten into us) end up self-identifying after receiving one of the diagnoses or having their dx flipped back and forth by multiple assessors.
One day in the future, I expect my ADHD diagnosis will be as quaint as having "Consumption" on one's medical records. In current testing, I land just over the line for autism too but I consider myself at the bottom rung in terms of requiring support.
Once you are an adult, a named diagnosis doesn't get you much, even work accommodations are very limited, so consider this a pursuit of understanding yourself better so you can implement strategies that work for you and the way your brain works. The neurodivergent community is learning to be more embracing of self-diagnosis because so many of us fell through the cracks when we should have gotten educational accommodations, and you are allowed to participate and go find those resources that work for you - you're not going to be stealing them from anybody else.
You've often posted here about your extreme anxiety, freeze responses, emotional dysregulation, difficulty interpreting others' motives or 'reading' situations or people, so...yeah, you're probably on the scale in terms of your life being affected by these things. Are they specifically and officially Trauma rather than Autism? That's hard to answer and hard to get an official answer, but if your functional experience is the same with the only difference being that for some part of your childhood you did not have childhood symptoms, you are free to onboard anything from books and content on Autism if it helps you.
posted by Lyn Never at 4:16 PM on December 15, 2024 [23 favorites]
I think you're in the UK, and based on what I've heard on reddit the waiting list to get tested is 4-6 years at this point, so this is my advice: you are allowed to use resources for any named condition if it helps you solve your own problems. You are free to use resources directed at ADHD, Autism, CPTSD, TBI, Bipolar, Borderline, anxiety, any other kind of depression, chronic illness (particularly in learning to manage executive dysfunction, there's information in that realm that rarely crosses over to neurodivergence materials).
Focus on your symptoms as you experience them, don't worry too much about the label (beyond, obviously, whatever helps you feel more understood). One of the reasons I say that is: help is not coming, not in this decade anyway. We will have to wait for the US and UK healthcare systems to collapse and rebuild before anybody is coming to help adults of any flavor of neurodivergence, so we have to do most of it ourselves and with each other.
The other reason I say this is because I think after the collapse and reformation, none of the labels we use today are going to be in use because they already don't make sense and they are rotten with sexism. People working from the same diagnostic manual will (and women frequently get their diagnoses overwritten whether they asked for it or not) diagnose the same woman with ADHD, Bipolar, Borderline, and "just unpleasant/go away and stop bothering me". Additionally, people with trauma OR brain injury OR any depressive disorder with cognitive defects OR autism OR ADHD all share a similar suite of functional and sensory processing challenges - we need a plot graph, not a spectrum.
It can be exceptionally hard to get a dual diagnosis, as well, thanks to the mess of the DSM. AuDHD is where a lot of women (who often strongly identify with the ADHD components but also have more severe social issues than fits the criteria for ADHD - BUT rarely scoring as severe as boys/men because some level of social pretense is usually beaten into us) end up self-identifying after receiving one of the diagnoses or having their dx flipped back and forth by multiple assessors.
One day in the future, I expect my ADHD diagnosis will be as quaint as having "Consumption" on one's medical records. In current testing, I land just over the line for autism too but I consider myself at the bottom rung in terms of requiring support.
Once you are an adult, a named diagnosis doesn't get you much, even work accommodations are very limited, so consider this a pursuit of understanding yourself better so you can implement strategies that work for you and the way your brain works. The neurodivergent community is learning to be more embracing of self-diagnosis because so many of us fell through the cracks when we should have gotten educational accommodations, and you are allowed to participate and go find those resources that work for you - you're not going to be stealing them from anybody else.
You've often posted here about your extreme anxiety, freeze responses, emotional dysregulation, difficulty interpreting others' motives or 'reading' situations or people, so...yeah, you're probably on the scale in terms of your life being affected by these things. Are they specifically and officially Trauma rather than Autism? That's hard to answer and hard to get an official answer, but if your functional experience is the same with the only difference being that for some part of your childhood you did not have childhood symptoms, you are free to onboard anything from books and content on Autism if it helps you.
posted by Lyn Never at 4:16 PM on December 15, 2024 [23 favorites]
I was diagnosed in my 60s and am a woman. You share several behaviours with me such as social anxiety, exhaustion from being social, obsession with databases, and compulsions to engage in self soothing that are not really good for us. I also suffered from anxiety and depression and emotional breakdowns before treatment. All this doesn't mean that you are autistic, but that you do have many indicators that you may be.
Whether to pursue a diagnosis is another question. Is there any benefit or harm in having an official diagnosis? I had the diagnosis but did not disclose to my employer to try to get ACA accommodation from my employer. The only people who knew were my family and closest friends. I think they experienced a bit of relief that there is a reason why I am the way I am.
Some of the problems may be treated without a full diagnosis, such as the depression and anxiety. Since I started taking antidepressants, the depression, anxiety, and emotional outbursts have all but disappeared. This has eased up my life enough so that the other oddities are less of a problem as well.
I still obsess about databasing all my books and records and collections, but that is not detrimental to my life. I have been calmed enough to learn and practice conversation so that most people don't detect my oddness. A few people even like some of my odd, like I blurt out obvious things in meetings that no one has the nerve to bring up!
These days there is not as much shame in being labelled as autistic, so you can choose if you want to tell everyone. A good thing that can result from you yourself knowing that you're autistic, is that you can stop blaming yourself for having certain characteristics. These days I am one of the happiest people I know. I accept some of my weirdness as a built in fact like having big feet or a wide heavy skeleton. I have changed things that I could, like taking medication and developing a lot of self compassion and laughing a lot.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 4:25 PM on December 15, 2024 [11 favorites]
Whether to pursue a diagnosis is another question. Is there any benefit or harm in having an official diagnosis? I had the diagnosis but did not disclose to my employer to try to get ACA accommodation from my employer. The only people who knew were my family and closest friends. I think they experienced a bit of relief that there is a reason why I am the way I am.
Some of the problems may be treated without a full diagnosis, such as the depression and anxiety. Since I started taking antidepressants, the depression, anxiety, and emotional outbursts have all but disappeared. This has eased up my life enough so that the other oddities are less of a problem as well.
I still obsess about databasing all my books and records and collections, but that is not detrimental to my life. I have been calmed enough to learn and practice conversation so that most people don't detect my oddness. A few people even like some of my odd, like I blurt out obvious things in meetings that no one has the nerve to bring up!
These days there is not as much shame in being labelled as autistic, so you can choose if you want to tell everyone. A good thing that can result from you yourself knowing that you're autistic, is that you can stop blaming yourself for having certain characteristics. These days I am one of the happiest people I know. I accept some of my weirdness as a built in fact like having big feet or a wide heavy skeleton. I have changed things that I could, like taking medication and developing a lot of self compassion and laughing a lot.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 4:25 PM on December 15, 2024 [11 favorites]
I highly recommend getting an Assessment with Hendrickx Associates,
they offer it via Skype or Zoom (they are UK based).
The assessment in 2021 and subsequent diagnosis (not recognised by my national insurance) gave me the strength to pursue an official diagnosis recognised by my national insurance, which finally took place this past August.
Sarah Hendrickx' book Woman and girls on the autism spectrum is excellent and useful.
And so are the books recommend to me in this ask.
Much strength,
posted by 15L06 at 4:52 PM on December 15, 2024 [4 favorites]
they offer it via Skype or Zoom (they are UK based).
The assessment in 2021 and subsequent diagnosis (not recognised by my national insurance) gave me the strength to pursue an official diagnosis recognised by my national insurance, which finally took place this past August.
Sarah Hendrickx' book Woman and girls on the autism spectrum is excellent and useful.
And so are the books recommend to me in this ask.
Much strength,
posted by 15L06 at 4:52 PM on December 15, 2024 [4 favorites]
A good thing that can result from you yourself knowing that you're autistic, is that you can stop blaming yourself for having certain characteristics. These days I am one of the happiest people I know. I accept some of my weirdness as a built in fact like having big feet or a wide heavy skeleton. I have changed things that I could, like taking medication and developing a lot of self compassion and laughing a lot.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 4:25 PM on December 15
Quoted for truth. This is exactly my experience too.
(Female, 59, diagnosed 2021 and 2024)
posted by 15L06 at 5:09 PM on December 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by a humble nudibranch at 4:25 PM on December 15
Quoted for truth. This is exactly my experience too.
(Female, 59, diagnosed 2021 and 2024)
posted by 15L06 at 5:09 PM on December 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
I am a self-diagnosed autistic woman. (I was formally diagnosed as byperactive as a child.) It is unlikely that I will pursue a formal ASD diagnosis. Some characteristics we share:
* Limited social capacity. I also have some difficulty with social communications.
* Disorganized for much of my life, but better recently.
* I have a list of classic movies I am making my way through. I am also big on charts and tables.
* I have many times literally banged my head on something in frustration.
BTW, risperidone helps with some of my symptoms.
posted by NotLost at 6:33 PM on December 15, 2024
* Limited social capacity. I also have some difficulty with social communications.
* Disorganized for much of my life, but better recently.
* I have a list of classic movies I am making my way through. I am also big on charts and tables.
* I have many times literally banged my head on something in frustration.
BTW, risperidone helps with some of my symptoms.
posted by NotLost at 6:33 PM on December 15, 2024
A loved one (F) found the book "I am aspienwoman" helpful in seeing the different ways that autism can manifest in adult women. After she decided that she probably had autism, she asked me to read it and then we talked about chapter by chapter as she shared which of the traits she identified with (and which ones she didn't)
posted by metahawk at 7:36 PM on December 15, 2024
posted by metahawk at 7:36 PM on December 15, 2024
To me this can all be explained by CPTSD, moreso than autism. I think that is the route to go down first because you can treat CPTSD, so you’d want to try that first instead of assuming these are permanent issues.
DBT skills can help a lot with emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal interactions. I would go ahead and take a look at those and use anything that seems helpful to you.
DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets PDF
posted by knobknosher at 10:45 PM on December 15, 2024 [7 favorites]
DBT skills can help a lot with emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal interactions. I would go ahead and take a look at those and use anything that seems helpful to you.
DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets PDF
posted by knobknosher at 10:45 PM on December 15, 2024 [7 favorites]
Also I want to clarify — I’m not saying you have CPTSD. I couldn’t make that kind of determination. But it is compatible with what you describe, and because there are some treatments out there that you can try yourself, I think it’s worth trying those out.
posted by knobknosher at 11:06 PM on December 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by knobknosher at 11:06 PM on December 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
I found Unmasking Autism by Devon Price to be very powerful - strongly recommended, whether or not you pursue any kind of (self-)diagnosis & whichever labels you do or don’t find helpful.
posted by rd45 at 3:31 AM on December 16, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by rd45 at 3:31 AM on December 16, 2024 [2 favorites]
I know ADHD has been mentioned to you as a possibility in the past, did you ever get on the waiting list for diagnosis? Speaking from experience, it's so worth the wait (1.5 years in my case, it can vary a lot depending on location). Now that I'm taking methylphenidate my anxiety is reduced significantly, I can focus my attention, and life is just so, so much better overall. After about a year on meds, I'm now also realising I'm probably autistic as well. I believe an AuDHD diagnosis is not uncommon for adult women who are great at masking.
posted by guessthis at 3:53 AM on December 16, 2024
posted by guessthis at 3:53 AM on December 16, 2024
Some articles you might find useful
What the autism spectrum really means
Why it's useful to know wether or not you're autistic
Is it social anxiety, or autism?
Is it social anxiety or autism, or both?
Is it autism or ptsd?
What about self diagnosis, is it valid?
I'm female and autistic. Late realised. Realising I'm autistic helped me understand myself so much better, and helps me avoid meltdowns, or recover more quickly from them when they do happen. I learned about poor interoception (not realising my body's needs like hunger or thirst until I'm desperate) and alexithymia (not knowing what emotions I'm feeling).
I learnt how to stop suppressing my stims (I didn't even realise I was stimming) and that helps me self regulate.
I still suffer from anxiety and depression at times, but I'm much better at looking after myself now that I understand myself better.
I saw a psychologist who eliminated the other diagnoses that sometimes can look like autism like bipolar and borderline personality disorder.
posted by Zumbador at 7:55 AM on December 16, 2024 [5 favorites]
What the autism spectrum really means
Why it's useful to know wether or not you're autistic
Is it social anxiety, or autism?
Is it social anxiety or autism, or both?
Is it autism or ptsd?
What about self diagnosis, is it valid?
I'm female and autistic. Late realised. Realising I'm autistic helped me understand myself so much better, and helps me avoid meltdowns, or recover more quickly from them when they do happen. I learned about poor interoception (not realising my body's needs like hunger or thirst until I'm desperate) and alexithymia (not knowing what emotions I'm feeling).
I learnt how to stop suppressing my stims (I didn't even realise I was stimming) and that helps me self regulate.
I still suffer from anxiety and depression at times, but I'm much better at looking after myself now that I understand myself better.
I saw a psychologist who eliminated the other diagnoses that sometimes can look like autism like bipolar and borderline personality disorder.
posted by Zumbador at 7:55 AM on December 16, 2024 [5 favorites]
Go ahead and start the process of getting a diagnosis. It will take a while, so you're not jumping into anything.
Call your local autism org and ask for recommendations for a way to get a diagnosis and go from there.
There are also a lot of questionnaires on the net - find the longest one and try it out.
posted by amtho at 9:48 AM on December 16, 2024
Call your local autism org and ask for recommendations for a way to get a diagnosis and go from there.
There are also a lot of questionnaires on the net - find the longest one and try it out.
posted by amtho at 9:48 AM on December 16, 2024
In terms of self-testing, the Baron-Cohen Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) test is well-researched, self-scorable, and widely available for free online.
Autism commonly co-occurs with the other diagnoses you listed, and it sounds like it might be a useful lens for understanding yourself better and coping better. Do some research and see what’s helpful to you. I find that the more I read, the more anecdotes I run into that are like, oh, that’s an autism thing, too, which helps a lot with self acceptance and finding tools to deal with living in an NT world.
posted by momus_window at 1:33 PM on December 16, 2024 [1 favorite]
Autism commonly co-occurs with the other diagnoses you listed, and it sounds like it might be a useful lens for understanding yourself better and coping better. Do some research and see what’s helpful to you. I find that the more I read, the more anecdotes I run into that are like, oh, that’s an autism thing, too, which helps a lot with self acceptance and finding tools to deal with living in an NT world.
posted by momus_window at 1:33 PM on December 16, 2024 [1 favorite]
60 year old formally diagnosed in 2020; I do not share any of those characteristics. I was diagnosed with hyperactivity as a child.
I don't have social anxiety because I mirror others, which is exhausting but not anxiety-producing;
I have significant sensory preferences for certain clothing, cutlery and dinnerwear, like there are right and wrong forks and spoons;
I am easily overwhelmed in malls and supermarkets;
I have a lack of emotional awareness called alexithymia where I cannot identify feelings in myself or others;
I have all or nothing thinking in general and cannot understand most unspoken social cues;
I correlate numbers to everything even when there's no connection, like I count when I backspace, I will add up numbers to determine if they're "good," I learned to play music by mentally translating notes into numbers;
I develop obsessive interests in movies, musicals and music; like I literally watched Hamilton 10 times in a row and had to learn everything I could about it, then I just dropped it;
I have echolalia and I will repeat a word over and over.
This is all to say that autism can look different for people and I really do not know whether or not you have it, but I do also know that with my symptoms, it never occurred to me that I might be autistic and it was a psychologist coworker who suggested the assessment, where I was off the charts. Being formally diagnosed was great because I always thought everybody was like me and it explained my life so well.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:01 PM on December 16, 2024 [4 favorites]
I don't have social anxiety because I mirror others, which is exhausting but not anxiety-producing;
I have significant sensory preferences for certain clothing, cutlery and dinnerwear, like there are right and wrong forks and spoons;
I am easily overwhelmed in malls and supermarkets;
I have a lack of emotional awareness called alexithymia where I cannot identify feelings in myself or others;
I have all or nothing thinking in general and cannot understand most unspoken social cues;
I correlate numbers to everything even when there's no connection, like I count when I backspace, I will add up numbers to determine if they're "good," I learned to play music by mentally translating notes into numbers;
I develop obsessive interests in movies, musicals and music; like I literally watched Hamilton 10 times in a row and had to learn everything I could about it, then I just dropped it;
I have echolalia and I will repeat a word over and over.
This is all to say that autism can look different for people and I really do not know whether or not you have it, but I do also know that with my symptoms, it never occurred to me that I might be autistic and it was a psychologist coworker who suggested the assessment, where I was off the charts. Being formally diagnosed was great because I always thought everybody was like me and it explained my life so well.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:01 PM on December 16, 2024 [4 favorites]
To be honest this kind of sounds more like "plain" ADHD than "plain" autism to me, though it may be AuDHD (ADHD and autism together). My recommendation is to find some books or video series by autistic, ADHD, and/or AuDHD women and see which, if any, resonates with you. A few suggestions:
- Ten Steps to Nanette by Hannah Gadsby (AuDHD)
- Strong Female Character by Fern Brady (autistic)
- I overcame my autism and all I got was this lousy anxiety disorder by Sarah Kurchak (autistic)
- Yo Samdy Sam's YouTube channel (AuDHD)
Sorry I don't have any suggestions of "just-ADHD" women/AFABs; maybe others can suggest some.
posted by heatherlogan at 2:17 PM on December 16, 2024 [1 favorite]
- Ten Steps to Nanette by Hannah Gadsby (AuDHD)
- Strong Female Character by Fern Brady (autistic)
- I overcame my autism and all I got was this lousy anxiety disorder by Sarah Kurchak (autistic)
- Yo Samdy Sam's YouTube channel (AuDHD)
Sorry I don't have any suggestions of "just-ADHD" women/AFABs; maybe others can suggest some.
posted by heatherlogan at 2:17 PM on December 16, 2024 [1 favorite]
I want to very respectfully urge caution about determining that executive function issues are ADHD. There are a lot of things that can cause them. Things that come to mind include depression, anxiety/panic disorders, OCD, bipolar disorder, BPD/EUPD, PTSD, sleep apnea, sleep deprivation, medications, substance use/drinking, vitamin deficiencies.
That doesn’t mean you can’t use coping skills designed for ADHD—do what works!
However, particularly with a history of trauma, there are other issues that ideally should be ruled out before starting ADHD medications. I know that good psychiatric care can be a pipe dream. At the same time, I think that going to a prescriber specifically focusing only on ADHD can sometimes lead to unhelpful or even harmful medication regimens.
For the most part, stimulants are pretty safe. But more caution is warranted when there may be other serious issues that could be negatively affected by stimulants (or simply go untreated).
posted by knobknosher at 3:15 PM on December 16, 2024 [1 favorite]
That doesn’t mean you can’t use coping skills designed for ADHD—do what works!
However, particularly with a history of trauma, there are other issues that ideally should be ruled out before starting ADHD medications. I know that good psychiatric care can be a pipe dream. At the same time, I think that going to a prescriber specifically focusing only on ADHD can sometimes lead to unhelpful or even harmful medication regimens.
For the most part, stimulants are pretty safe. But more caution is warranted when there may be other serious issues that could be negatively affected by stimulants (or simply go untreated).
posted by knobknosher at 3:15 PM on December 16, 2024 [1 favorite]
It might be autism, it might be the C-PTSD. It would be best to see a trained professional to work on this.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 3:59 PM on December 16, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by kinddieserzeit at 3:59 PM on December 16, 2024 [1 favorite]
One of my favorite journalists, Carrie Poppy, has been on a similar journey. You may enjoy this episode of the Oh No Ross and Carrie podcast. The hosts approach things with good humor and empathy. Hearing Carrie and her co-host walk through some diagnostic tools and her particular path to a diagnosis may be helpful.
posted by annaramma at 10:01 AM on December 17, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by annaramma at 10:01 AM on December 17, 2024 [1 favorite]
Coming very late to this question, and most of the resources I would have suggested have already come up; but it looks as if nobody has recommended the comprehensive set of tests on the Embrace Autism site, which I found very helpful. The particularly valuable thing is that each test is put into context, with guidance on interpreting and scoring any especially ambiguous or outdated questions.
I'll add two more book recommendations: What I Mean When I Say I'm Autistic by Annie Kotowicz, and especially Is This Autism?: A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else (green book, not the similarly titled blue one) by Donna A. Henderson, Sarah C. Wayland and Jamell White.
... And two more: Odd Girl Out by Laura James and The Electricity of Every Living Thing by Katherine May, memoirs by late-diagnosed British women.
And one more! How Not to Fit In: An Unapologetic Approach to Navigating Autism and ADHD by Jess Joy and Charlotte Mia. Two more late-diagnosed British women, but this one's more of a manual than a memoir.
To answer your actual question: I'm neurodivergent with a lot of autistic traits - maybe not enough for a clinical diagnosis (I haven't sought one, so I don't know), but enough to make my life difficult - and I have some overlap with the things you've listed. Hence all the recommendations! There's a great deal of variety on the spectrum, and I've found some memoirs don't resonate with me at all, while others make me stop in my tracks and wish I went in for underlining sections in books, because wow that's me. And like others, what I've got out of this is primarily self-acceptance. Not broken, just different.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 4:46 AM on January 8 [1 favorite]
I'll add two more book recommendations: What I Mean When I Say I'm Autistic by Annie Kotowicz, and especially Is This Autism?: A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else (green book, not the similarly titled blue one) by Donna A. Henderson, Sarah C. Wayland and Jamell White.
... And two more: Odd Girl Out by Laura James and The Electricity of Every Living Thing by Katherine May, memoirs by late-diagnosed British women.
And one more! How Not to Fit In: An Unapologetic Approach to Navigating Autism and ADHD by Jess Joy and Charlotte Mia. Two more late-diagnosed British women, but this one's more of a manual than a memoir.
To answer your actual question: I'm neurodivergent with a lot of autistic traits - maybe not enough for a clinical diagnosis (I haven't sought one, so I don't know), but enough to make my life difficult - and I have some overlap with the things you've listed. Hence all the recommendations! There's a great deal of variety on the spectrum, and I've found some memoirs don't resonate with me at all, while others make me stop in my tracks and wish I went in for underlining sections in books, because wow that's me. And like others, what I've got out of this is primarily self-acceptance. Not broken, just different.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 4:46 AM on January 8 [1 favorite]
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posted by Sunflower88 at 3:43 PM on December 15, 2024