Being photographed while autistic
October 17, 2024 4:06 AM Subscribe
Anyone else, especially other autistic people got any tips for handling being photographed in everyday situations and managing to present well?
I'm Autistic and present very badly in photographs, probably because of masking going wrong. If asked to pose, I often manage to have wild staring eyes showing too much white and a grimacing unnatural grin and then if caught working, will be oblivious to how dishevelled I am looking or what I am wearing as I'm absorbed by my task and it doesn't occur to me to check how I look. I'm female so can face very negative judgements/mockery for my appearance. Scripts/checklists can help me though (You're being photographed - Stop! Check this list).
Because of my job people ask for photos and there are times when I need to be in photos. I'd be grateful if anyone could give me some tips for better presentation or for how they cope. I'm aware I probably have internalised ableism and anxiety about this due to being bullied in the past over my appearance
I'm Autistic and present very badly in photographs, probably because of masking going wrong. If asked to pose, I often manage to have wild staring eyes showing too much white and a grimacing unnatural grin and then if caught working, will be oblivious to how dishevelled I am looking or what I am wearing as I'm absorbed by my task and it doesn't occur to me to check how I look. I'm female so can face very negative judgements/mockery for my appearance. Scripts/checklists can help me though (You're being photographed - Stop! Check this list).
Because of my job people ask for photos and there are times when I need to be in photos. I'd be grateful if anyone could give me some tips for better presentation or for how they cope. I'm aware I probably have internalised ableism and anxiety about this due to being bullied in the past over my appearance
Last headshots I had done, the photographer was a very nice older British actress who said that if you're looking into a camera lens, it's useful to imagine you are seeing "my dear pockmarked friend." She said the pockmarks are important. The pictures came out great, so I'm just passing that along.
posted by Pallas Athena at 4:29 AM on October 17 [2 favorites]
posted by Pallas Athena at 4:29 AM on October 17 [2 favorites]
If asked to pose, I often manage to have wild staring eyes showing too much white and a grimacing unnatural grin
Take some selfies, experiment to find the most flattering smiling facial expression, and then take a million more selfies to practice so you can feel when you are making the expression without seeing yourself.
I hated the way I looked in photos all my life, until at one point I realized that my "natural" smile does not flatter my face in photos. This is counterintuitive I think, as many professional photographers will say something funny as they snap the picture in order to get a natural smile out of you because for most people I guess it looks better. Not me though. My eyes disappear, my double chin pops out and my mouth opens too much when I'm made to laugh like that. I mean, I'm sure it's fine in real life and I don't try to control my expression when I'm just hanging out with people having fun, but when the camera comes out I put on my "photo smile".
For me it's a gentle smile with just the lower part of my top teeth showing, and very little crinkling of the eyes. And I make sure not to do the head thing that makes the double chin come out. It sounds like you might be the opposite and need to practice deliberately crinkling your eyes a bit and relaxing your mouth. And you want to practice so you know how it feels to make this expression deliberately.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 4:29 AM on October 17 [2 favorites]
Take some selfies, experiment to find the most flattering smiling facial expression, and then take a million more selfies to practice so you can feel when you are making the expression without seeing yourself.
I hated the way I looked in photos all my life, until at one point I realized that my "natural" smile does not flatter my face in photos. This is counterintuitive I think, as many professional photographers will say something funny as they snap the picture in order to get a natural smile out of you because for most people I guess it looks better. Not me though. My eyes disappear, my double chin pops out and my mouth opens too much when I'm made to laugh like that. I mean, I'm sure it's fine in real life and I don't try to control my expression when I'm just hanging out with people having fun, but when the camera comes out I put on my "photo smile".
For me it's a gentle smile with just the lower part of my top teeth showing, and very little crinkling of the eyes. And I make sure not to do the head thing that makes the double chin come out. It sounds like you might be the opposite and need to practice deliberately crinkling your eyes a bit and relaxing your mouth. And you want to practice so you know how it feels to make this expression deliberately.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 4:29 AM on October 17 [2 favorites]
Best answer: If you’re anything like me, I’m guessing that you create “algorithms” or experiments in your head for things that seem to come naturally to others - this might fall under that umbrella.
Echoing above comments - practice with your phone, practice in a mirror, practice with a friend, practice having your friend take your picture emulating the setting that arises at work. Then you can develop your own personal algorithm of [what to do with eyes] + [what to do with mouth] + etc…. And just use that moving forward.
I have come to accept that some things that come naturally to others will possibly never come naturally to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so the best way I can accommodate myself for those things, if I decide they are important, is with scripting or extra practice. Sometimes it sucks that we are permanently on intermediate or advanced mode and others are seemingly always on easy mode, but I do think simple practice will help a lot.
Also, I have noticed this trait about many of my fellow ND friends and family! I do think it afflicts lots of people regardless of neurotype though too - either way you aren’t alone. And for the candid photos, don’t worry too much about those, even the most put together neurotypicals rarely look amazing in candids while working unless they’re actually being art-directed. If you do notice candid photography is happening though, plug in that algorithm!
posted by seemoorglass at 5:11 AM on October 17 [9 favorites]
Echoing above comments - practice with your phone, practice in a mirror, practice with a friend, practice having your friend take your picture emulating the setting that arises at work. Then you can develop your own personal algorithm of [what to do with eyes] + [what to do with mouth] + etc…. And just use that moving forward.
I have come to accept that some things that come naturally to others will possibly never come naturally to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so the best way I can accommodate myself for those things, if I decide they are important, is with scripting or extra practice. Sometimes it sucks that we are permanently on intermediate or advanced mode and others are seemingly always on easy mode, but I do think simple practice will help a lot.
Also, I have noticed this trait about many of my fellow ND friends and family! I do think it afflicts lots of people regardless of neurotype though too - either way you aren’t alone. And for the candid photos, don’t worry too much about those, even the most put together neurotypicals rarely look amazing in candids while working unless they’re actually being art-directed. If you do notice candid photography is happening though, plug in that algorithm!
posted by seemoorglass at 5:11 AM on October 17 [9 favorites]
I feel you. For the first time, really ever, I have to get some semi-professional photos taken for a group I am part of so they can be posted on the web/social media. My plan to to just be super blunt with the photographer and tell them I have no idea what I am doing and don't photo well so help please! and just try and get through it.
posted by Captain_Science at 5:23 AM on October 17 [1 favorite]
posted by Captain_Science at 5:23 AM on October 17 [1 favorite]
a 3/4 pose (slightly angled away from the camera, rather than facing directly) is something i remember being recommended to me. that is also the first tip in a list by Glamour "what NOT to do when being photographed: stare straight-on at the camera". there are several others there, including 'get silly'
posted by HearHere at 5:26 AM on October 17 [1 favorite]
posted by HearHere at 5:26 AM on October 17 [1 favorite]
David Suh is a photographer who specializes in helping clients to pose and portray confidence in front of the camera. You might find some of his tips and approaches helpful (check out both the shorts & the longer videos).
posted by ourobouros at 6:13 AM on October 17 [1 favorite]
posted by ourobouros at 6:13 AM on October 17 [1 favorite]
Please note that, while I haven't received a formal autism diagnosis yet, I am most likely either a) on the spectrum or b) subclinical.
Back in the mid-2000s, when everyone suddenly started taking group photos at every single event, I also had a similar issue. Without fail, I would always look bleary eyed and drunk, in every single picture that was taken of me, regardless of the time of day or the event taking place.
A few things helped me in this case:
1. I figured out that my body is sensitive to camera flashes. Basically, I had to train myself not to flinch, whenever the camera flash came on.
2. I had to train myself to display a very specific, agreeable smile, whenever the time came to pose for a photo.
3. Lastly, I had to make sure that I was very aware of what my eyes were doing, during the 10 seconds before and during the photo shoot.
Using this methodology, I was able to train myself not to blink, flinch, or frown awkwardly while group photos were being taken. As a result, I am now able to pose normally in group photos.
Also, modern photography is such that, most of the time, a person using a camera phone will not employ flash when taking a photo, and this is also very helpful.
tl; dr My advice to you is to just practice. I trained myself the hard way. I just kept showing up to meetups and group events, and trying to train myself to look better in photos. Eventually I was successful. You might have quicker results if you practice in front of a mirror, or just practice taking selfies, as others have mentioned.
posted by carnival_night_zone at 6:37 AM on October 17 [2 favorites]
Back in the mid-2000s, when everyone suddenly started taking group photos at every single event, I also had a similar issue. Without fail, I would always look bleary eyed and drunk, in every single picture that was taken of me, regardless of the time of day or the event taking place.
A few things helped me in this case:
1. I figured out that my body is sensitive to camera flashes. Basically, I had to train myself not to flinch, whenever the camera flash came on.
2. I had to train myself to display a very specific, agreeable smile, whenever the time came to pose for a photo.
3. Lastly, I had to make sure that I was very aware of what my eyes were doing, during the 10 seconds before and during the photo shoot.
Using this methodology, I was able to train myself not to blink, flinch, or frown awkwardly while group photos were being taken. As a result, I am now able to pose normally in group photos.
Also, modern photography is such that, most of the time, a person using a camera phone will not employ flash when taking a photo, and this is also very helpful.
tl; dr My advice to you is to just practice. I trained myself the hard way. I just kept showing up to meetups and group events, and trying to train myself to look better in photos. Eventually I was successful. You might have quicker results if you practice in front of a mirror, or just practice taking selfies, as others have mentioned.
posted by carnival_night_zone at 6:37 AM on October 17 [2 favorites]
I’m not sure it’s because you’re autistic. I love unflattering candid photos, so I’ve taken a lot over the years and captured awkward, goofy looking faces on people of every neurotype.
That said, I am autistic and also don’t like my natural smile in photos. I figured it out by taking a ton of selfies. Now I know exactly what to think about and how to pose my face to get the right expression. For me, relaxed and natural actually ends up photographing as weird and forced, but if I make certain facial muscles a little tighter I end up looking more neutral and calm.
posted by wheatlets at 6:40 AM on October 17 [1 favorite]
That said, I am autistic and also don’t like my natural smile in photos. I figured it out by taking a ton of selfies. Now I know exactly what to think about and how to pose my face to get the right expression. For me, relaxed and natural actually ends up photographing as weird and forced, but if I make certain facial muscles a little tighter I end up looking more neutral and calm.
posted by wheatlets at 6:40 AM on October 17 [1 favorite]
I have the same issues, and I was surprised to find that Instagram is really helpful here. Once I liked one video, others started appearing, all have some variation on the title "Posing Tips" so that's a good place to start.
One good one for female presenting larger people is from actress Christine Buzan.
Why do these tips work for me? As someone on the spectrum, they give me an algorithm or a checklist to perform each time the camera comes out. Also, I have choices on which pose to use. Also, I can practice as much as I want ahead of time until my anxiety goes away. It's perfect for me, and I hope it helps you. :)
posted by seasparrow at 7:24 AM on October 17 [4 favorites]
One good one for female presenting larger people is from actress Christine Buzan.
Why do these tips work for me? As someone on the spectrum, they give me an algorithm or a checklist to perform each time the camera comes out. Also, I have choices on which pose to use. Also, I can practice as much as I want ahead of time until my anxiety goes away. It's perfect for me, and I hope it helps you. :)
posted by seasparrow at 7:24 AM on October 17 [4 favorites]
Response by poster: Hi seasparrow, thanks so much for that - I don't use Meta products and the one time I did try instagram I couldn't get through the log in process - are these tips anywhere else? They sound like they would be great
posted by Flitcraft at 8:37 AM on October 17
posted by Flitcraft at 8:37 AM on October 17
Best answer: If you are OK with YouTube, much of the same content is there. Posing Tips in the search bar will yield results. It's OK that some of them are designed for models-- they still work fine for regular people like us. I lack patience for longer videos, so I tend to concentrate on the short form stuff, which you can identify by the portrait orientation of the videos.
Here is one example, and I like it because the man narrating does speak briefly about some of the psychological reasons why this can be uncomfortable, which I appreciated. This guy also recommends Pinterest as another source for posing tips, which is new to me but makes sense. I chose this video because he addresses things in a way that I, an autism spectrum person, can relate to.
Finally, if you are looking for the least commercial-- not even YouTube/Google-- then this photographer's blog post is probably the best you are going to get and is pretty extensive.
I really think that for people like us this is an area where our neuro-divergence becomes a strength. Solving a previously anxious moment through practice, checklists, and algorithms is what we are good at. I hope this helps!
posted by seasparrow at 9:09 AM on October 17 [3 favorites]
Here is one example, and I like it because the man narrating does speak briefly about some of the psychological reasons why this can be uncomfortable, which I appreciated. This guy also recommends Pinterest as another source for posing tips, which is new to me but makes sense. I chose this video because he addresses things in a way that I, an autism spectrum person, can relate to.
Finally, if you are looking for the least commercial-- not even YouTube/Google-- then this photographer's blog post is probably the best you are going to get and is pretty extensive.
I really think that for people like us this is an area where our neuro-divergence becomes a strength. Solving a previously anxious moment through practice, checklists, and algorithms is what we are good at. I hope this helps!
posted by seasparrow at 9:09 AM on October 17 [3 favorites]
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posted by needs more cowbell at 4:17 AM on October 17 [2 favorites]