What does an Xennial mom wear at home in 2024?

September 4, 2024 1:09 PM

Like a lot of moms of young kids, I put on nice outfits for work and then change into essentially pajamas when I come home. Leggings, old stretched-out tank tops, hoodies, etc. I want to look nicer at home without looking like I've put on an "outfit." I need my home clothes to be comfortable and easy to wash, and work for walks outside, snuggling dogs, and sitting on the floor. A "uniform" would be ideal for this: a few pieces I could buy in multiple colors and just throw on without thinking.

It seems like the athleisure brands like Athleta are assuming I will wear crop tops all the time now, which I guess I could adapt to but I am in my 40s and have given birth, so it's not ideal. I'm also not quite ready for full-on flowy tunics and matching flowy pants - I will one day be a Santa Fe-style grandmother, but I'm not there yet.

I'm open to jeans if they're comfy and cheap enough to not worry about getting them dirty (say $100 or less). I would prefer pants softer than jeans. Joggers look terrible on me. Whether I go with jeans, leggings, or some other unicorn pants I haven't yet imagined, I need tips on what kinds of tops to wear with them.

I have a leanish athletic build, flat on top and curvy on the bottom. My style is sort of outdoorsy/yoga girl, but I don't want to look like I'm dressed for a run or yoga class all the time. I look younger than my age (40s) and would like to dress more like a grownup even when I'm at home.

I would love responses with links to specific items.

posted by TrixieRamble to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (19 answers total)

I really like the look of paperbag-style pants paired with a form-fitting crop tank top. Super comfy to hang out at home or just go for a walk around the neighborhood in, but also potentially upgradeable to quite dressy just by adding some slingback heels and a sweater, for example.
posted by MiraK at 1:17 PM on September 4 [2 favorites]

These are the pants I wear all the time, especially traveling. Can confirm that they are comfortable, easy to wash, and work for your needs. They are very much "outdoorsy" but that's my vibe.

For tops, I wear a plain t-shirt, and I'd recommend just getting a higher-quality t-shirt than maybe you have in the past. For instance, Duluth trading company shirts are long enough to not expose the belly but not so long you feel like you're wearing a tunic.

I have these items in multiple colors and really do wear them as a uniform.
posted by Ms Vegetable at 1:18 PM on September 4 [4 favorites]

So I'm not a mom but I do wfh, and I love these pants because they are comfortable, washable, and look a teense elevated. This is also kind of similar to the way I wear them too--t-shirt, sneakers, etc--despite the fact that I 100% do not have the model's body type.
posted by thivaia at 2:10 PM on September 4 [2 favorites]

Not a mom, def an xennial, wfh but live in Brooklyn so try to leave my house looking decent. I love these stupid Old Navy pants so much that I literally bought 8 pairs and now two of my friends also bought multiple pairs. Cheap AF, reasonably durable, easy to wash/dry. They are somehow very flattering on everyone. They look cute with cropped shirts or fitted sweaters or whatever you want to do. Cute with non-athletic sneakers or birks or chelsea boots or whatever.
posted by greta simone at 2:29 PM on September 4 [4 favorites]

How do you feel about flowing jersey dresses? They're my go-to 'clothing that feels like pajamas and looks like I'm trying' mode. Eshakti has a *lot* of options there.
posted by corb at 2:33 PM on September 4 [1 favorite]

You might like the trouser sweatpants from Franc. I have multiple pairs and wear them nearly daily in the fall/winter/spring. They have a flat waistband, pockets, and a front seam which makes them look more like dress pants, especially the black & navy ones, but are as comfy as pyjamas. They're machine washable, but should be hung up to dry.

For tops, I love the combo of a tee shirt + an open button-up shirt over top with the sleeves pushed/rolled up. A flannel button-up is great in the winter, and linen/cotton when the weather is warmer.
posted by burntflowers at 2:34 PM on September 4 [2 favorites]

Following up to corb's comment: eShakti used to be a great company but has, in recent months, taken people's payments but not delivered their orders. I would not order from them.
posted by burntflowers at 2:38 PM on September 4 [12 favorites]

I haven't ordered from Eshakti in years because my dresses have lasted so long - I would take burntflowers' update as solid though maybe look for thrifted eshakti because the old stuff is so, so solid.
posted by corb at 2:48 PM on September 4

I'm an elder millennial mom, and these pants have been in heavy rotation the last few years. I like the side of the leg pockets for holding my phone and a slim wallet, for easy purse-less park visits and errands.
posted by abeja bicicleta at 3:20 PM on September 4 [2 favorites]

I just want to commiserate about how cruel it is to be pushed back to crop tops after giving birth to live young. Like, yes, I really needed the reminder that my stomach looks very different than it did the last time these exact clothes were cool...when I was twelve...

I feel like I'm kind of trending toward just buying whatever they have at Uniqlo and calling that good enough. If I don't end up loving it I'm never out that much money.
posted by potrzebie at 3:55 PM on September 4 [1 favorite]

Today’s trendy jeans are pretty comfortable- the Levi 501 1998 jeans do fit like my pair from the 90s. I struggle with tops, but try jeans with looser t-shirts in bright colours, preferably heathered. 100% cotton doesn’t cling as much, and linen is the best.

I also own a ton of eshakti jersey dresses in jewel tones with pockets, and I wear them all the time. I too am bummed to hear about problems!
posted by Valancy Rachel at 4:51 PM on September 4

If you’re after t-shirts and tank tops in solid colours and basic styles, wear mens. Size down. I too hate crop tops and this is your best option.
posted by shock muppet at 5:35 PM on September 4 [2 favorites]

Black Diamond climbing pants and Uniqlo t-shirts. I love those pants so much that I have them in five colours. I wear them at home, or in the gym, and with a sweater or blazer they can easily pass at my casual workplace. I’ve gone through three different models and worn out 4 pairs over the last 6 years.
posted by Cuke at 7:06 PM on September 4 [1 favorite]

my suggestions are not very grown up, but I have struggled with conceptualizing what a grown up version of me should wear since before I actually grew up and everything I come up with is strangely formal or businessy (and I work in a trade so that's not appropriate either!) so I threw it out the window and still dress a little like a sk8r boi even as a 38 year old lady. but I'll stick to basics!

lately I've been wearing the heck out of these high rise trouser leg jeans (I have them in that wash and soft black as well) they're very stretchy, and the rise on them is perfect to tuck in a tshirt (or a perfect tank top) and end up with a sort of cropped top look, without wearing a crop top. I buy Nautica v-necks in a men's small for a sorta-trendy-baggy-tee look. they're also the right rise that even in most cropped sweaters and stuff, I don't have belly showing (I'm also not 12 anymore)

also the ubiquitous "black pants" from our teenhood are back in style, so go find yourself a pair of stretchy black flares! I have some pants from Halara that are quite nice but their inseams are alllll a little short for me, so if you have long legs just be aware!

perfect tank: I have this racerback tank top in every colour they make, and 4 black ones. they are a great length to tuck or not, they wash well and get softer without shrinking and they are like $5 each because they're meant to be printed on. I'm not normally inclined towards a curved hem but these don't bother me and they're nice to wear with leggings.

sorry for the Canadian links
posted by euphoria066 at 7:07 PM on September 4 [1 favorite]

I am partway through the wool& 100 day challenge, elder millennial, also a mother. I cannot believe how much I love not having to think about my "base layer". I have the Camellia tank dress, long length. My boobs don't hang out, I'm not flashing anyone if I'm squatting to do stuff. I can throw a top on to layer, and I'm looking forward to moving into legging season.

If I tire of this someday as my everyday wear, I'm going to channel Twisters Daisy Edgar Jones channeling Helen Hunt in Twister.
posted by paradeofblimps at 8:12 PM on September 4 [2 favorites]

Seconding the Old Navy Pulla Pants. I tried on a pair at Old Navy, bought them, couldn’t stop wearing them and got them in three more colors. The kind of carpenter-utility look with a hammer loop is in right now, I think, also cargo pants? I usually pair them with graphic tees. My current favorites are from Yarrow.
posted by music for skeletons at 7:50 AM on September 5

Elder millennial mom here. I do a fitted tank top, wide leg sweatpants, and an open button up.
posted by maleficent at 2:08 PM on September 6

My xennial sister who is a homemaker adores the midi skirts that Athleta made for awhile. Pockets: check. Look reasonable on a 42 year old body: check. Can do all mom duties in them: check.

They’re definitely still a bunch running around on poshmark, etc.
posted by ocherdraco at 8:09 AM on September 8

Response by poster: Thanks for these great tips, everyone!
posted by TrixieRamble at 7:35 PM on September 11