Need advice on whether or not to move to new apartment with more space
August 31, 2024 8:18 PM Subscribe
I’m a 41-year-old living in Oakland, and I’m considering moving to a larger apartment in a building closer to my current one, but feeling uncertain about the decision. I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives since I don’t have anyone in my life I can ask for advice.
I’ve been living in my current studio apartment since 2011, and it’s about 450-485 square feet. The rent is relatively low for Oakland (a HCOL area), which is one of my main concerns—if I move, I’m worried I won’t be able to find anything similar if I need to move again in the future. My current building has a nice community with long-term residents, and it’s been stable even after changing ownership. I live with my cat, and while we manage well in the current space, I think she would benefit from more room to play and explore.
The new apartment I’m considering is 740 square feet, so it’s a significant increase in space. The rent would increase by about $800 per month, which is a lot, but not unexpected for the area. I have ample savings, no debts, my job is remote, and I have already cut out $600 worth of expenses from my budget so that the increase in rent would not net in me spending much more each month. The new apartment has features I like, including a full-size fridge (I have an under counter fridge now), more storage, a nicer bathroom, and a separate dining area and bedroom with a door that closes. The building is family-owned, and the owner seems responsive and professional. The building seemed to be in good repair, and clean. However, it’s smaller, with only 16-20 units (my current one has twice that many), so I’m slightly concerned about the possibility of it being sold or converted to condos in the future.
I LOVE my current space and building and the neighbors in it, but I'm also feeling a bit cramped and tired after so many years. I’m excited about the possibility of having more room to spread out and create better routines. I believe that the extra space could improve my overall quality of life, giving me more room to set up a proper dining area, create a dedicated space for relaxation, and establish better routines for myself and my cat. However, I’m also nervous about the higher rent and the potential risks of leaving a stable, affordable apartment.
The cost increase is significant though (even though I have made room in my budget for it so the net increase won't feel much different), and I’m worried about the long-term financial implications. If I move and it doesn’t work out, I likely won’t be able to find another apartment at my current rent in Oakland. The emotional attachment to my current place is strong, and I’m struggling with the idea of leaving it behind. Especially since I'll be able to see my old building from the new building if I were to move, they are that close together! It might be too nostalgic??
Finally, the view out the windows at my new apartment is not as good as my current space, but there's 3 windows as opposed to only 1 that my current space has. But that 1 window offers a slightly nicer view overall. :/ The new apartment has a balcony that faces a tree but with a closeup of the house next door on one side, and a small view of the street on the other. The bedroom window overlooks a the opposite side of the same yard that my current apartment looks over...and it isn't as pretty. But the new balcony is larger and cleaner and I could put plants or bird feeders, etc, to liven it up. I don't know. My current apartment's view faces the house next door mostly, but it's farther away from it and you can see the pretty garden and the street from one side which is very nice. I'm not sure what to do, lol.
I would love to hear your thoughts on whether making this move would be worth it, especially from anyone who has faced a similar decision. I submitted the application already and will need to make a decision once they contact me next week. Thanks in advance for your advice!
I’ve been living in my current studio apartment since 2011, and it’s about 450-485 square feet. The rent is relatively low for Oakland (a HCOL area), which is one of my main concerns—if I move, I’m worried I won’t be able to find anything similar if I need to move again in the future. My current building has a nice community with long-term residents, and it’s been stable even after changing ownership. I live with my cat, and while we manage well in the current space, I think she would benefit from more room to play and explore.
The new apartment I’m considering is 740 square feet, so it’s a significant increase in space. The rent would increase by about $800 per month, which is a lot, but not unexpected for the area. I have ample savings, no debts, my job is remote, and I have already cut out $600 worth of expenses from my budget so that the increase in rent would not net in me spending much more each month. The new apartment has features I like, including a full-size fridge (I have an under counter fridge now), more storage, a nicer bathroom, and a separate dining area and bedroom with a door that closes. The building is family-owned, and the owner seems responsive and professional. The building seemed to be in good repair, and clean. However, it’s smaller, with only 16-20 units (my current one has twice that many), so I’m slightly concerned about the possibility of it being sold or converted to condos in the future.
I LOVE my current space and building and the neighbors in it, but I'm also feeling a bit cramped and tired after so many years. I’m excited about the possibility of having more room to spread out and create better routines. I believe that the extra space could improve my overall quality of life, giving me more room to set up a proper dining area, create a dedicated space for relaxation, and establish better routines for myself and my cat. However, I’m also nervous about the higher rent and the potential risks of leaving a stable, affordable apartment.
The cost increase is significant though (even though I have made room in my budget for it so the net increase won't feel much different), and I’m worried about the long-term financial implications. If I move and it doesn’t work out, I likely won’t be able to find another apartment at my current rent in Oakland. The emotional attachment to my current place is strong, and I’m struggling with the idea of leaving it behind. Especially since I'll be able to see my old building from the new building if I were to move, they are that close together! It might be too nostalgic??
Finally, the view out the windows at my new apartment is not as good as my current space, but there's 3 windows as opposed to only 1 that my current space has. But that 1 window offers a slightly nicer view overall. :/ The new apartment has a balcony that faces a tree but with a closeup of the house next door on one side, and a small view of the street on the other. The bedroom window overlooks a the opposite side of the same yard that my current apartment looks over...and it isn't as pretty. But the new balcony is larger and cleaner and I could put plants or bird feeders, etc, to liven it up. I don't know. My current apartment's view faces the house next door mostly, but it's farther away from it and you can see the pretty garden and the street from one side which is very nice. I'm not sure what to do, lol.
I would love to hear your thoughts on whether making this move would be worth it, especially from anyone who has faced a similar decision. I submitted the application already and will need to make a decision once they contact me next week. Thanks in advance for your advice!
I can definitely see why it's a hard decision, there are a lot of pros and cons to both sides. Personally, with an $800 a month difference, I would try to make things work in the smaller apartment if at all possible. There are lots of tips on space saving furniture/storage now with tiny houses being so popular. But maybe you've already put a lot of effort into improving the current space and it's really not working.
It also depends on what you would do with the excess money and how much you really care about that. You say that you won't feel the difference since you've budgeted for it, but is there anything that would improve your life to put the savings away for?
Another thing I can't really tell that might make a difference is how often apartments like the new option come up. If you pass it up, could you likely find something else that you like as much for about the same price increase?
posted by Eyelash at 9:13 PM on August 31 [1 favorite]
It also depends on what you would do with the excess money and how much you really care about that. You say that you won't feel the difference since you've budgeted for it, but is there anything that would improve your life to put the savings away for?
Another thing I can't really tell that might make a difference is how often apartments like the new option come up. If you pass it up, could you likely find something else that you like as much for about the same price increase?
posted by Eyelash at 9:13 PM on August 31 [1 favorite]
I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. It makes the stakes so much higher when rents are out of control and renting in general can add so much uncertainty to life.
What percentage of your income would the rent at the new place be (1/3? less than a third? over a third?). What are prices like? Have you been keeping an eye on the rental market in your area for awhile? Is it possible that you could find something bigger that isn't as expensive?
For work, is your salary increasing to keep up with the cost of living?
It might be helpful to meet with a financial planner. They have better metrics for judging if this is a good decision.
I hope you find a place with more space, even if it's not this one. You deserve it and I think it would make a huge difference to have some room to stretch out.
posted by fern at 10:07 PM on August 31 [2 favorites]
What percentage of your income would the rent at the new place be (1/3? less than a third? over a third?). What are prices like? Have you been keeping an eye on the rental market in your area for awhile? Is it possible that you could find something bigger that isn't as expensive?
For work, is your salary increasing to keep up with the cost of living?
It might be helpful to meet with a financial planner. They have better metrics for judging if this is a good decision.
I hope you find a place with more space, even if it's not this one. You deserve it and I think it would make a huge difference to have some room to stretch out.
posted by fern at 10:07 PM on August 31 [2 favorites]
Do you like to cook w or eat fresh produce, cheese, other refrigerated items? To me an under the counter fridge would be a dealbreaker but maybe you don't mind. Does it bother you now not to have a proper dining area? Do you work 8 hour days all from home or do you take frequent breaks elsewhere/ have the flexibility to work someplace other than your apt if you want? Do you feel cramped and stifled there or comfy and cozy? These are questions I'd ask myself. I've lived in studios and now I have a 1 bd. I spend no time in my bedroom other than sleeping and naps but I like having that separate space. I know nothing much about cats but do they generally like/care about having ample space?
posted by bookworm4125 at 10:07 PM on August 31 [1 favorite]
posted by bookworm4125 at 10:07 PM on August 31 [1 favorite]
Ugh I clicked and then couldn't add to my comment anymore. But I very much doubt your landlord will let you sublet.
posted by bookworm4125 at 10:07 PM on August 31
posted by bookworm4125 at 10:07 PM on August 31
I think the benefit of having a space where you have room to be more comfortable is so important. That balcony - you could make it your little slice of Eden, to offset the poorer view. Almost twice the space? This sounds heavenly, honestly. I'd take it.
posted by BlahLaLa at 10:11 PM on August 31 [1 favorite]
posted by BlahLaLa at 10:11 PM on August 31 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: >Do you like to cook w or eat fresh produce, cheese, other refrigerated items? To me an under the counter fridge would be a dealbreaker but maybe you don't mind. Does it bother you now not to have a proper dining area? Do you work 8 hour days all from home or do you take frequent breaks elsewhere/ have the flexibility to work someplace other than your apt if you want? Do you feel cramped and stifled there or comfy and cozy? These are questions I'd ask myself. I've lived in studios and now I have a 1 bd. I spend no time in my bedroom other than sleeping and naps but I like having that separate space. I know nothing much about cats but do they generally like/care about having ample space?
Yes, I cook and eat fresh produce, cheese, and refrigerated items. The under counter fridge has worked for me for the 13 years I've been here...it helps that I'm just one person. It also has caused me to be very mindful of how much I'm buying because I know I have limited space.
I work 8 hour days from home. I have an office corner in my apartment but sometimes I work from my bed or couch. I was feeling fine for most of the time here, never really felt cramped. My previous cat was chill. My new cat is younger and more active and I worry she needs more space which is partly why I am considering moving. But honestly she seems happy and well adjusted overall...I can't tell if she really cares that it's a small space.
I used to feel cozy in the space but lately I'm feeling cramped. The couch I bought last year isn't comfortable and so I don't have any place besides my bed to relax and unwind. Having people over feels like an "invasion" because my bed is front and center for all to see who enter. I could make it cozier and comfy if I put in the effort but somehow I've gotten so tired and unmotivated with the space. Also it's one of those places that somehow feels dirty no matter how much I clean it. The tough thing is that I still love it, despite all of that.:p
> What percentage of your income would the rent at the new place be (1/3? less than a third? over a third?). What are prices like? Have you been keeping an eye on the rental market in your area for awhile? Is it possible that you could find something bigger that isn't as expensive?
It would be 14% of gross income and about 27% of net income after taxes. I've been keeping an eye on the rental market and have seen other places but not many come up that have been as nice as this one in terms of the interaction with the owner, management, and level of overall cleanliness of the building. It was the owner himself who answered the phone when I called, vs a property management company. I could possibly find something bigger for less but that's very rare, especially in this neighborhood.
posted by starpoint at 10:33 PM on August 31
Yes, I cook and eat fresh produce, cheese, and refrigerated items. The under counter fridge has worked for me for the 13 years I've been here...it helps that I'm just one person. It also has caused me to be very mindful of how much I'm buying because I know I have limited space.
I work 8 hour days from home. I have an office corner in my apartment but sometimes I work from my bed or couch. I was feeling fine for most of the time here, never really felt cramped. My previous cat was chill. My new cat is younger and more active and I worry she needs more space which is partly why I am considering moving. But honestly she seems happy and well adjusted overall...I can't tell if she really cares that it's a small space.
I used to feel cozy in the space but lately I'm feeling cramped. The couch I bought last year isn't comfortable and so I don't have any place besides my bed to relax and unwind. Having people over feels like an "invasion" because my bed is front and center for all to see who enter. I could make it cozier and comfy if I put in the effort but somehow I've gotten so tired and unmotivated with the space. Also it's one of those places that somehow feels dirty no matter how much I clean it. The tough thing is that I still love it, despite all of that.:p
> What percentage of your income would the rent at the new place be (1/3? less than a third? over a third?). What are prices like? Have you been keeping an eye on the rental market in your area for awhile? Is it possible that you could find something bigger that isn't as expensive?
It would be 14% of gross income and about 27% of net income after taxes. I've been keeping an eye on the rental market and have seen other places but not many come up that have been as nice as this one in terms of the interaction with the owner, management, and level of overall cleanliness of the building. It was the owner himself who answered the phone when I called, vs a property management company. I could possibly find something bigger for less but that's very rare, especially in this neighborhood.
posted by starpoint at 10:33 PM on August 31
The new place sounds good on paper and your income to rent ratio is good. My only remaining considerations would be 1) are you noise sensitive and how noisy do you think the new place would be compared to the old? Can you speak to new neighbours and find out? 2) what's your retirement plan? Would you be moving to a lower cost of living area to buy? Are your savings and investments on track to allow you to do that? Because if not then putting $800 a month aside.for retirement would be a smarter move financially.
posted by Tanya at 10:42 PM on August 31 [2 favorites]
posted by Tanya at 10:42 PM on August 31 [2 favorites]
a) I think the new apartment is great opportunity for you (for all the reasons you mentioned), and an *excellent* opportunity for your management company. You've had a solid working relationship for over a dozen years. The Tenant Protection Act went into effect in California in April; would management be open to discounting the new apartment, for the security of renting to a known quantity?
b) I paused when you mentioned the cat and the balcony; plants, yes, but maybe bird feeders would be something to introduce some months after settling in.
posted by Iris Gambol at 10:58 PM on August 31 [1 favorite]
b) I paused when you mentioned the cat and the balcony; plants, yes, but maybe bird feeders would be something to introduce some months after settling in.
posted by Iris Gambol at 10:58 PM on August 31 [1 favorite]
Back in 2020 I moved from a 700-sqft 1br apartment in Santa Clara that I was renting for about $1600/mo (and had lived in for 12 years) to a 1000-sqft 2br apartment in San Francisco for $3000/mo. I was very attached to the low rent and that, along with an aversion to spending money on myself, kept me from moving sooner. But COVID lockdown made me realize that I really didn't have enough room to live and work comfortably in the old place, I had grown tired of its poor fixtures and worse carpets, and all of my friends had long since moved up to SF or Oakland. Four years later, I feel it was 100% the right move for me and I can't believe I had stayed in the old apartment for so long.
posted by pmdboi at 11:24 PM on August 31 [4 favorites]
posted by pmdboi at 11:24 PM on August 31 [4 favorites]
It sounds like you want to move, but are concerned with the risks of moving. Otherwise, you would not have searched for the new apartment and would not have applied. There are pros and cons to staying and to moving. You will never get a clear yes to moving based on your analysis.
I know a woman who has lived in the same studio apartment for 31 years. She can afford to move. She has stated her desire to move. But, she has never pulled the cord. She never will. She just is too afraid of leaving her acceptable but not great situation. A lot of what ifs. A lot emphasis on low probability risks that have ramifications.
This decision for you is clearly to me an emotional one, not a financial or logistical one. If it were me, I would move, but I assess risk versus reward for a living and have done so for 35+ years. I am very comfortable accepting negative outcomes if the decision making and analysis was done properly.
While I appreciate this is a huge decision in your life I think there comes a time when you put aside the pros and cons and go with your gut and make a decision. There is a saying in my line of work, "You think long ;you think wrong."
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:37 AM on September 1 [13 favorites]
I know a woman who has lived in the same studio apartment for 31 years. She can afford to move. She has stated her desire to move. But, she has never pulled the cord. She never will. She just is too afraid of leaving her acceptable but not great situation. A lot of what ifs. A lot emphasis on low probability risks that have ramifications.
This decision for you is clearly to me an emotional one, not a financial or logistical one. If it were me, I would move, but I assess risk versus reward for a living and have done so for 35+ years. I am very comfortable accepting negative outcomes if the decision making and analysis was done properly.
While I appreciate this is a huge decision in your life I think there comes a time when you put aside the pros and cons and go with your gut and make a decision. There is a saying in my line of work, "You think long ;you think wrong."
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:37 AM on September 1 [13 favorites]
With spending a lot more time at home since Covid, I have come to appreciate space and apartment amenities a lot more. It is ok to want more space. While the risks you mention exist, the change you’re contemplating is by no means reckless.
posted by koahiatamadl at 1:27 AM on September 1 [2 favorites]
posted by koahiatamadl at 1:27 AM on September 1 [2 favorites]
I don't know what the best decision is (maybe you can think of it as two good decisions, or a trade-off between two roughly equal mixes of good and bad).
Some more questions you could think about:
How have rent increases in the new building compared over time to increases in the old one?
Does your current building have any larger apartments you might be able to move into at some point in the not too far future?
How many places have you looked at? Are there more options besides just these two?
Have you already started reducing/saving your 600/month so that you know it's realistic?
If you decide not to move for now, can you save up that monthly 600 as a sort of move-insurance fund for things like future rent increases or unexpected issues?
Since you work from home, it sounds like you're relatively mobile. Do you plan to stay in Oakland for life?
posted by trig at 1:28 AM on September 1
Some more questions you could think about:
How have rent increases in the new building compared over time to increases in the old one?
Does your current building have any larger apartments you might be able to move into at some point in the not too far future?
How many places have you looked at? Are there more options besides just these two?
Have you already started reducing/saving your 600/month so that you know it's realistic?
If you decide not to move for now, can you save up that monthly 600 as a sort of move-insurance fund for things like future rent increases or unexpected issues?
Since you work from home, it sounds like you're relatively mobile. Do you plan to stay in Oakland for life?
posted by trig at 1:28 AM on September 1
It sounds like you really want more space!
Do you plan to live in Oakland or another HCOL area for the foreseeable future? What are your long-term financial goals?
I'm asking because I grew up in Oakland and I find it much more comfortable living in a lower COL area. I feel I am much happier than I could be in the Bay Area. I could never have owned a house in the Bay, for instance, but I do now.
If your job would allow you to live anywhere, it might be worth staying where you are and putting that $800/mo towards a down-payment in a lower COL area. My Bay Area friends and family are often shocked when I tell them how little (180k) we paid for our home on 10 acres in another part of the US. In 3 years you could have 10% down on a 250k property.
Sorry, I know that's not what you're asking about. If you feel sure you want to stay in the bay and don't want to take on homeownership, then I think you should move to the new apartment and your quality of life will improve.
posted by Summers at 4:12 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
Do you plan to live in Oakland or another HCOL area for the foreseeable future? What are your long-term financial goals?
I'm asking because I grew up in Oakland and I find it much more comfortable living in a lower COL area. I feel I am much happier than I could be in the Bay Area. I could never have owned a house in the Bay, for instance, but I do now.
If your job would allow you to live anywhere, it might be worth staying where you are and putting that $800/mo towards a down-payment in a lower COL area. My Bay Area friends and family are often shocked when I tell them how little (180k) we paid for our home on 10 acres in another part of the US. In 3 years you could have 10% down on a 250k property.
Sorry, I know that's not what you're asking about. If you feel sure you want to stay in the bay and don't want to take on homeownership, then I think you should move to the new apartment and your quality of life will improve.
posted by Summers at 4:12 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
I am going a bit against the grain, but I would stay where you are. Spend some money on improving your space: definitely get a new couch, hire a cleaner, redecorate etc. These will be cheaper than the new place, should address the parts you currently dislike. You will also keep the all the advantages of your current place.
My bias is that I live in London where 400 square feet is considered ample for a single person. We also like shopping for only a few days of groceries at a time.
It does sound like you could afford the move, so go if you want to. But your concern about finding another cheap place suggests you are not as stable or secure as you would like to be, which weighs in favour of staying put in a place that you mostly like, with a little extra investment.
posted by Chausette at 4:27 AM on September 1 [8 favorites]
My bias is that I live in London where 400 square feet is considered ample for a single person. We also like shopping for only a few days of groceries at a time.
It does sound like you could afford the move, so go if you want to. But your concern about finding another cheap place suggests you are not as stable or secure as you would like to be, which weighs in favour of staying put in a place that you mostly like, with a little extra investment.
posted by Chausette at 4:27 AM on September 1 [8 favorites]
A very important thing to me is financial security. I have always been concerned about losing my job, especially as I got into my 40s.
How much money do you have saved and invested in terms of number of years of living expenses?
I want to get as close as possible to 25 times my living expenses invested 60% in SP500 index fund and 40% in bond fund. Then if and when I have to, I could live off 4% of those investments (see Bogleheads.com, Financial Independence Retire Early (FIRE), Mr Money Mustache, etc)
Having lower rent helps because the amount of money you need to save is lower and you can save faster because less is going to rent.
posted by halehale at 4:33 AM on September 1 [1 favorite]
How much money do you have saved and invested in terms of number of years of living expenses?
I want to get as close as possible to 25 times my living expenses invested 60% in SP500 index fund and 40% in bond fund. Then if and when I have to, I could live off 4% of those investments (see Bogleheads.com, Financial Independence Retire Early (FIRE), Mr Money Mustache, etc)
Having lower rent helps because the amount of money you need to save is lower and you can save faster because less is going to rent.
posted by halehale at 4:33 AM on September 1 [1 favorite]
How will the boring mundanities of your daily life change?
What's the laundry situation like? In unit/closer/shared by fewer people?
Could you get a dishwasher in a bigger place?
Can the litterbox live farther from where you sleep and eat?
Are the finishings at the larger place the kind that will look clean after they've been cleaned? (I think I understand what you're saying about that.)
What's the stair situation like to get yourself/things in and out?
A bigger refrigerator and the ability to have people over I think is huge in itself, but don't overlook all the other little things that can change (maybe for the better, or not) in the move.
posted by phunniemee at 5:01 AM on September 1 [1 favorite]
What's the laundry situation like? In unit/closer/shared by fewer people?
Could you get a dishwasher in a bigger place?
Can the litterbox live farther from where you sleep and eat?
Are the finishings at the larger place the kind that will look clean after they've been cleaned? (I think I understand what you're saying about that.)
What's the stair situation like to get yourself/things in and out?
A bigger refrigerator and the ability to have people over I think is huge in itself, but don't overlook all the other little things that can change (maybe for the better, or not) in the move.
posted by phunniemee at 5:01 AM on September 1 [1 favorite]
The thing that would make me most hesitant to move in your situation is neighbors. Especially in an apartment, neighbors can make a HUGE difference to quality of life, and you like your current neighbors. Are you confident that the new apartment would also have decent neighbors?
Would staying, but spending all or part of the $800/month on a co-working space or similar address some of your concerns with the current place? Or earmarking it for something like going out to coffee every morning or lunch every day and working for a couple hours from a cafe?
Also - does your current apartment have any bigger apartments? Perhaps you could talk to your landlord about upgrading to a bigger space in the same building when one becomes available. That’s probably what I would do in your situation if possible (but of course, it may not be depending on what is likely to be available in the next few years!)
posted by maleficent at 5:13 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
Would staying, but spending all or part of the $800/month on a co-working space or similar address some of your concerns with the current place? Or earmarking it for something like going out to coffee every morning or lunch every day and working for a couple hours from a cafe?
Also - does your current apartment have any bigger apartments? Perhaps you could talk to your landlord about upgrading to a bigger space in the same building when one becomes available. That’s probably what I would do in your situation if possible (but of course, it may not be depending on what is likely to be available in the next few years!)
posted by maleficent at 5:13 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
I'd move. You're working from home and spending a lot of time in a small space. The balcony is the big draw for me. I love having a small outdoor space of my own, for growing plants and herbs, grilling (if allowed), or even just sitting or standing in the fresh air. Plus if you ever have company over it's a much better set up (bedroom closed off, nicer bathroom, dining space)
posted by emd3737 at 5:55 AM on September 1 [2 favorites]
posted by emd3737 at 5:55 AM on September 1 [2 favorites]
It might help to try to tease out some of the different threads here. At minimum, you have a) the risk inherent to giving up a known thing, which would be at play with any move, and b) your feelings about this place in particular.
I know you said you've been keeping an eye on other listings, but I think it's worth weighing your options in light of three possibilities (current place, this new place, or another as-yet-unknown new place) vs. just two. I don't see that there's any pressing need to be out of your current apartment, which means that you could continue to take time to assess other possibilities until you find one that you have strong(er) positive feelings about, and in the meantime work on addressing what you can to improve your experience where you are. There are certainly limitations inherent to such a small space that you can't will away. But: what would you do if you couldn't move? Are you getting out of your apartment enough? Is any of the cramped feeling connected to feelings of stagnation in other parts of your life that you could shake up in some way? How much are you projecting onto the cat?
FWIW I would be hesitant to give up the good view unless the overall lighting was way better, and more than that I would have a very hard time leaving a good, stable, long-term neighbor situation- that kind of community and familiarity can be so good for social wellbeing, especially as a single person, and recreating/replacing it is far from guaranteed. When you say you don't have people in your life to run this question by, that suggests to me that this factor is all the more important. This other place doesn't sound bad by any means, but leaving a good setup means that if you move at all, I think you have to go into it prepared to grapple with gains and losses that are both very real.
posted by wormtales at 6:30 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
I know you said you've been keeping an eye on other listings, but I think it's worth weighing your options in light of three possibilities (current place, this new place, or another as-yet-unknown new place) vs. just two. I don't see that there's any pressing need to be out of your current apartment, which means that you could continue to take time to assess other possibilities until you find one that you have strong(er) positive feelings about, and in the meantime work on addressing what you can to improve your experience where you are. There are certainly limitations inherent to such a small space that you can't will away. But: what would you do if you couldn't move? Are you getting out of your apartment enough? Is any of the cramped feeling connected to feelings of stagnation in other parts of your life that you could shake up in some way? How much are you projecting onto the cat?
FWIW I would be hesitant to give up the good view unless the overall lighting was way better, and more than that I would have a very hard time leaving a good, stable, long-term neighbor situation- that kind of community and familiarity can be so good for social wellbeing, especially as a single person, and recreating/replacing it is far from guaranteed. When you say you don't have people in your life to run this question by, that suggests to me that this factor is all the more important. This other place doesn't sound bad by any means, but leaving a good setup means that if you move at all, I think you have to go into it prepared to grapple with gains and losses that are both very real.
posted by wormtales at 6:30 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
Good neighbors and a good view really matter when you spend a lot of time at home. We made a similar move during covid for more space and got horrible neighbors and a worse view. I've spent years with regret over the move. Unless you're sure that the new neighbor and building situation would be stable and preferable, I would stay where you are and invest the money in decorating or otherwise improving your current space.
posted by luckdragon at 6:36 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
posted by luckdragon at 6:36 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
You've been there a long time. Has the landlord ever repainted? Would they, if you asked? A fresh coat of paint could go a long way to making the place feel less grimy. I'd consider saving up six months' worth of the difference in rent and getting a new couch and a console-style Murphy bed, or really splash out and get a desk/office/Murphy bed.
posted by kate4914 at 6:45 AM on September 1 [2 favorites]
posted by kate4914 at 6:45 AM on September 1 [2 favorites]
I agree with people saying that it sounds like you do really want to upgrade your living situation, but it's unclear if this new place is the best option to do that.
Since you say have "ample savings" and no debt, and raising your rent by $800 would result in a rent that's only 14% of gross income, are you sure you can't afford to buy? Especially since you don't have to worry about a commute, it might be worth considering places that aren't too far away outside of rush hour. Meeting a Realtor would be free, and it might be worth seeing what they say.
posted by coffeecat at 7:07 AM on September 1 [2 favorites]
Since you say have "ample savings" and no debt, and raising your rent by $800 would result in a rent that's only 14% of gross income, are you sure you can't afford to buy? Especially since you don't have to worry about a commute, it might be worth considering places that aren't too far away outside of rush hour. Meeting a Realtor would be free, and it might be worth seeing what they say.
posted by coffeecat at 7:07 AM on September 1 [2 favorites]
If I were you, I’d see if there are other things you can do with up to $9,600/year to give you a sense of more space without moving.
+new fabulous sofa
+co-working space
+cat furniture
+annual vacation
+extra fridge, mini or not
The risks of moving don’t seem worth it in your case if you can find other ways to up your quality of life, likely at much lower cost.
Keep in mind that any constant increase in quality of life will eventually feel normal and not special. An extra vacation here and there will probably retain its specialness.
Good luck!
posted by cacao at 7:22 AM on September 1 [6 favorites]
+new fabulous sofa
+co-working space
+cat furniture
+annual vacation
+extra fridge, mini or not
The risks of moving don’t seem worth it in your case if you can find other ways to up your quality of life, likely at much lower cost.
Keep in mind that any constant increase in quality of life will eventually feel normal and not special. An extra vacation here and there will probably retain its specialness.
Good luck!
posted by cacao at 7:22 AM on September 1 [6 favorites]
I have the same dilemma of feeling frustrated with my too small, cramped place. However, moving is very expensive and the rent goes up here in every place every year, but it's less of a raise if you keep staying. If I move, I have to take into account if I can keep paying the rent increases for more space, which is why I moved into Too Cramped in the first place.
I should probably consider moving towns entirely if I want cheaper, but I like where I live and how centrally located the town is (1/2 hour to everywhere I go).
Mostly I an jealous of the huge, spacious trailer home a retiree friend of mine has. Small but not too small. I've decided when I'm 55 to look into how to live there (the non-retiree trailer park here is RIGHT by train tracks and loud and full).
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:26 AM on September 1
I should probably consider moving towns entirely if I want cheaper, but I like where I live and how centrally located the town is (1/2 hour to everywhere I go).
Mostly I an jealous of the huge, spacious trailer home a retiree friend of mine has. Small but not too small. I've decided when I'm 55 to look into how to live there (the non-retiree trailer park here is RIGHT by train tracks and loud and full).
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:26 AM on September 1
Having people over feels like an "invasion" because my bed is front and center for all to see who enter.
I wonder if a Murphy bed would help out. It would conceal the bed during the day and you could mount a kitty climbing wall on it for enrichment during the day. Also if you don't already have a perch where your cat can lounge and look out the window they are a big hit with many cats. We have this one and much to my surprise it has remained stuck even when jumped on by our fairly hefty boy and is used all the time.
And for sure change out your couch for one that is comfortable to spend time on. You'll want to do that even if you do move.
posted by Mitheral at 7:31 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
I wonder if a Murphy bed would help out. It would conceal the bed during the day and you could mount a kitty climbing wall on it for enrichment during the day. Also if you don't already have a perch where your cat can lounge and look out the window they are a big hit with many cats. We have this one and much to my surprise it has remained stuck even when jumped on by our fairly hefty boy and is used all the time.
And for sure change out your couch for one that is comfortable to spend time on. You'll want to do that even if you do move.
posted by Mitheral at 7:31 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
It sounds like you want to move and are worried about making the wrong choice. I would take the cat’s feelings out of it; the cat is fine. But your feelings matter.
I’ve lived in a building with wonderful property owners. However, they are also humans, so they did end up selling. We moved for unrelated reasons but I know others were unhappy. Neither your current nor potential apartment owners are any guarantee of being there next year, so don’t count on that toooo much.
It’s ok to want more space for yourself. It’s ok to want to spend money on yourself and your quality of life. It’s ok to replace an expensive couch that you don’t like, even if it’s only a few months old. It’s ok to miss some parts of your past life while you move on to the next phase. Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would move.
There is no right or wrong answer here, but if you stay: please replace your couch. You are the boss of your things - they don’t deserve more space in your apartment than you do! It’s just a thing.
posted by samthemander at 7:54 AM on September 1 [6 favorites]
I’ve lived in a building with wonderful property owners. However, they are also humans, so they did end up selling. We moved for unrelated reasons but I know others were unhappy. Neither your current nor potential apartment owners are any guarantee of being there next year, so don’t count on that toooo much.
It’s ok to want more space for yourself. It’s ok to want to spend money on yourself and your quality of life. It’s ok to replace an expensive couch that you don’t like, even if it’s only a few months old. It’s ok to miss some parts of your past life while you move on to the next phase. Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would move.
There is no right or wrong answer here, but if you stay: please replace your couch. You are the boss of your things - they don’t deserve more space in your apartment than you do! It’s just a thing.
posted by samthemander at 7:54 AM on September 1 [6 favorites]
I think you could spend that extra cash you'd spend on the new apartment on upgrading the things in your current apartment to be a better fit for you and the space. I'd do a little math on what a really nice couch would cost and upgrading to a Murphy bed etc. etc. etc. and compare. Those are one-time costs. Then I'd tuck away the extra money you would spend on the new apartment in a money market account or CD and just let it grow (again do the math on this and see what it looks like). You could then potentially use it for an even better place in the future (or an emergency or a trip, who knows!)
A little back of the envelope:
$800*12*4%= about $10,000 saved annually
I feel like that extra $10k/year could get you pretty far in life to get an even better place, maybe a downpayment on an apartment of your own (realizing that you are in a HCOL - so maybe that's crazy talk)? Just a couple thoughts.
posted by Toddles at 8:53 AM on September 1 [3 favorites]
A little back of the envelope:
$800*12*4%= about $10,000 saved annually
I feel like that extra $10k/year could get you pretty far in life to get an even better place, maybe a downpayment on an apartment of your own (realizing that you are in a HCOL - so maybe that's crazy talk)? Just a couple thoughts.
posted by Toddles at 8:53 AM on September 1 [3 favorites]
You spend the majority of your time in your home, and even your current rent is probably pretty high. For the amount of hours you spend there and the money you're paying, you should like your apartment! It's worth spending more, especially since you can afford it.
posted by umwelt at 9:30 AM on September 1
posted by umwelt at 9:30 AM on September 1
It sounds like the extra space could really be great for you. Keep in mind that rent protection ordinances work as a percentage of rent, i.e., the landlord can increase rent by let's say 2.5 percent each year. So in unit 1, compounding this annually, after 5 years you would go from, for example, "$1000" to $1131, whereas in unit 2, you'd go from "$1800" to $2036. The gap widens slightly over time, assuming both landlords regularly increase rent by the max allowable.
Personally I think you should do it. You've probably saved a ton living in a small space all of these years, and mental health and quality of life are important. Moving to somewhere larger that supports good routines could save you money in other ways. (You can meet friends at home instead of in cafes, for instance. You can cancel a gym membership. Etc.)
I can understand the worry about giving up the security of somewhere known. Asking current residents there is a good idea. I don't know how condo conversation works there, but doesn't it require a vote of the residents? Also you may have mentioned this, but how stable is the new place (do residents stay a long time)?
posted by slidell at 10:25 AM on September 1
Personally I think you should do it. You've probably saved a ton living in a small space all of these years, and mental health and quality of life are important. Moving to somewhere larger that supports good routines could save you money in other ways. (You can meet friends at home instead of in cafes, for instance. You can cancel a gym membership. Etc.)
I can understand the worry about giving up the security of somewhere known. Asking current residents there is a good idea. I don't know how condo conversation works there, but doesn't it require a vote of the residents? Also you may have mentioned this, but how stable is the new place (do residents stay a long time)?
posted by slidell at 10:25 AM on September 1
My gut here is that you will LOVE more space. And things you didn’t even know needed improving will improve. For example, if you’re working from a studio apartment, you might not realize how refreshing it is to move to a separate room to do and feel separate things during the day— and especially after work. But once the you get the opportunity to do so, you’ll realize you needed it.
A lot of your concerns are practical and valid, but I also think they boil down to a fear of change, which is natural after 13 years. The risk of a big change is that it could be a change for the worse. The benefit is that it could be so much better. I think this sounds like a slam dunk change for the better.
The cat will LOVE it.
posted by kapers at 11:33 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
A lot of your concerns are practical and valid, but I also think they boil down to a fear of change, which is natural after 13 years. The risk of a big change is that it could be a change for the worse. The benefit is that it could be so much better. I think this sounds like a slam dunk change for the better.
The cat will LOVE it.
posted by kapers at 11:33 AM on September 1 [4 favorites]
I wonder if you're having trouble deciding because the new apartment isn't quite right? Maybe there's something that would be a no-brainer.
posted by knobknosher at 1:29 PM on September 1 [1 favorite]
posted by knobknosher at 1:29 PM on September 1 [1 favorite]
I think you should stay, for the sole but very important reason that it sounds like you are already somewhere you are appreciated, cared for, and maybe even loved by your neighbors, something that is such a reassurance that it is functionally priceless.
What makes me say this is less about the neighbors themselves, though, and more about you. You mentioned that you didn’t have other folks to ask about this quite important decision; that made me pause and wonder how important your neighbors have become relative to other important people in your life, and if, perhaps, you are worried that you should, at 41, be able to have room — physical and emotional — for different kinds of people than your neighbors to enter and engage in your life.
For example, folks in relationships spend a lot of time with their partners, and people who work outside the home have quite a lot of time with their colleagues. People with kids interact with other people with kids at school and through their kids’ activities. People who do team sports or have active hobbies are in those universes with their fellow players and hobbyists. Of course, you may have these people in your life, but you do not mention them. Could it be that your community of neighbors sees that these other community ties aren’t visible in your life, and so they have stepped up, in quite a beautiful way, to make sure you’re feeling good? I also wonder if the income mix of the building is perhaps an invisible but meaningful factor in people’s neighborliness: when people have time to do things other than work long hours to pay the rent, they take the opportunity to enrich themselves by building ties with others in ways that cannot be bought for any price.
You wouldn’t lose these people, necessarily, since your move would be so close, but you have to be honest with yourself about how much you would be motivated to claw back all of the financial freedom you have now but that you will lose after your move, and whether that motivation will be so strong as to reduce the time you have to connect with your neighbors at all, either by you being less available if you choose to work more hours or by you having less money to spend on shared activities if your income stays the same.
As I mentioned, it may already be evident to them that your situation is one in which they play a role that other people find is played by non-neighbors. Given the extent and depth of these pre-existing positive relationships, then, could you reach out to your community of neighbors and ask them to help you solve some of the problems your current apartment is posing for you?
To be clear, I think you’d need to be quite direct since even the most honest of neighbors will be reluctant to critique your lifestyle and home to your face without being asked. It sounds like you might want to ask them to help you:
- consider what needs replacing in your home to give it a meaningful refresh
- identify how to lay out the apartment so it works better for you and your cat
- think about how your single window’s light and airflow can be best manipulated so your working and leisure time feel appropriately energized (and perhaps more separated)
- reimagine your cleaning routines (or find a cleaner!)
- suggest how your decor, storage and tidying goals can be met so your home feels more joyful
- measure your furniture (and maybe even mark out its footprints with masking tape or something) so you can create a floor plan and move things around to see what could fit where
- build anything new you buy that needs assembly (or just be someone to hold some pieces in place while you screw them together)
- share some of the tasks above with their networks of people who have more expertise or knowledge
- pass on some of the things that no longer serve your goals to good homes (could they get your uncomfortable couch to a school’s teacher lounge, a social worker’s office or a youth club’s theatre department?)
- take a little more control so you feel like you, not the rent or the apartment layout or the cat or the landlord or the uncomfortable couch, are in charge of how you live inside your home
You could do this by:
- inviting them over for a coffee or a glass of wine to talk to them in person in your apartment so they get the full fidelity of what you are thinking about
- taking photos of the flat and having them on your phone so you can show your neighbors if you run into them in the laundry room or other common spaces
- using whatever analog or digital systems you and your neighbors use to post a simple message saying something like “Hi everyone, I’m looking for a [cleaner/interior designer/new home for my couch] and wonder if you all have any recommendations. Thanks, starpoint”
Finally, I would recommend hitting up your local library and reading Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, which is fundamentally about making everything in your home match the life you seek now; it’s a very quick read, it does not require the reader to spend a single dollar on any organizational tools, and it really delivers on its “life-changing” promise if you follow the method she describes.
Apartment living is so dependent on the goodwill of others who you share common spaces with, and it really sounds like your neighbors value you as much as you value them. If you lean into them (and Marie Kondo!) to help you tap into the root causes of what’s not working in your home, you may find yourself able to overcome your current sense of stagnation without needing to take on the financial and emotional burdens of moving.
Good luck!
posted by mdonley at 2:01 PM on September 1 [3 favorites]
What makes me say this is less about the neighbors themselves, though, and more about you. You mentioned that you didn’t have other folks to ask about this quite important decision; that made me pause and wonder how important your neighbors have become relative to other important people in your life, and if, perhaps, you are worried that you should, at 41, be able to have room — physical and emotional — for different kinds of people than your neighbors to enter and engage in your life.
For example, folks in relationships spend a lot of time with their partners, and people who work outside the home have quite a lot of time with their colleagues. People with kids interact with other people with kids at school and through their kids’ activities. People who do team sports or have active hobbies are in those universes with their fellow players and hobbyists. Of course, you may have these people in your life, but you do not mention them. Could it be that your community of neighbors sees that these other community ties aren’t visible in your life, and so they have stepped up, in quite a beautiful way, to make sure you’re feeling good? I also wonder if the income mix of the building is perhaps an invisible but meaningful factor in people’s neighborliness: when people have time to do things other than work long hours to pay the rent, they take the opportunity to enrich themselves by building ties with others in ways that cannot be bought for any price.
You wouldn’t lose these people, necessarily, since your move would be so close, but you have to be honest with yourself about how much you would be motivated to claw back all of the financial freedom you have now but that you will lose after your move, and whether that motivation will be so strong as to reduce the time you have to connect with your neighbors at all, either by you being less available if you choose to work more hours or by you having less money to spend on shared activities if your income stays the same.
As I mentioned, it may already be evident to them that your situation is one in which they play a role that other people find is played by non-neighbors. Given the extent and depth of these pre-existing positive relationships, then, could you reach out to your community of neighbors and ask them to help you solve some of the problems your current apartment is posing for you?
To be clear, I think you’d need to be quite direct since even the most honest of neighbors will be reluctant to critique your lifestyle and home to your face without being asked. It sounds like you might want to ask them to help you:
- consider what needs replacing in your home to give it a meaningful refresh
- identify how to lay out the apartment so it works better for you and your cat
- think about how your single window’s light and airflow can be best manipulated so your working and leisure time feel appropriately energized (and perhaps more separated)
- reimagine your cleaning routines (or find a cleaner!)
- suggest how your decor, storage and tidying goals can be met so your home feels more joyful
- measure your furniture (and maybe even mark out its footprints with masking tape or something) so you can create a floor plan and move things around to see what could fit where
- build anything new you buy that needs assembly (or just be someone to hold some pieces in place while you screw them together)
- share some of the tasks above with their networks of people who have more expertise or knowledge
- pass on some of the things that no longer serve your goals to good homes (could they get your uncomfortable couch to a school’s teacher lounge, a social worker’s office or a youth club’s theatre department?)
- take a little more control so you feel like you, not the rent or the apartment layout or the cat or the landlord or the uncomfortable couch, are in charge of how you live inside your home
You could do this by:
- inviting them over for a coffee or a glass of wine to talk to them in person in your apartment so they get the full fidelity of what you are thinking about
- taking photos of the flat and having them on your phone so you can show your neighbors if you run into them in the laundry room or other common spaces
- using whatever analog or digital systems you and your neighbors use to post a simple message saying something like “Hi everyone, I’m looking for a [cleaner/interior designer/new home for my couch] and wonder if you all have any recommendations. Thanks, starpoint”
Finally, I would recommend hitting up your local library and reading Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, which is fundamentally about making everything in your home match the life you seek now; it’s a very quick read, it does not require the reader to spend a single dollar on any organizational tools, and it really delivers on its “life-changing” promise if you follow the method she describes.
Apartment living is so dependent on the goodwill of others who you share common spaces with, and it really sounds like your neighbors value you as much as you value them. If you lean into them (and Marie Kondo!) to help you tap into the root causes of what’s not working in your home, you may find yourself able to overcome your current sense of stagnation without needing to take on the financial and emotional burdens of moving.
Good luck!
posted by mdonley at 2:01 PM on September 1 [3 favorites]
I don't know what you should do, but during covid I moved from a very small Oakland apartment to a larger place and I have no regrets
posted by spork at 3:25 PM on September 1
posted by spork at 3:25 PM on September 1
Cats like vertical space more than horizontal. Jackson Galaxy has some good suggestions on how to make a small space appealing to a cat by adding ways they can go upwards.
posted by matildaben at 3:39 PM on September 1 [3 favorites]
posted by matildaben at 3:39 PM on September 1 [3 favorites]
Another thing has occurred to me. This may or may not apply to you but many people are more established in their 40s than they were in their 20s. It is ok to have different priorities/preferences/make different choices now compared to 13 years ago.
posted by koahiatamadl at 3:55 PM on September 1 [2 favorites]
posted by koahiatamadl at 3:55 PM on September 1 [2 favorites]
It would be 14% of gross income and about 27% of net income after taxes. I've been keeping an eye on the rental market and have seen other places but not many come up that have been as nice as this one in terms of the interaction with the owner, management, and level of overall cleanliness of the building. It was the owner himself who answered the phone when I called, vs a property management company. I could possibly find something bigger for less but that's very rare, especially in this neighborhood.
this part stood out to me- a responsive owner/manager is huge. Also I have a weakness for separate dining rooms, so that is very appealing. If you've been looking for awhile and this place really stands out among other places of a similar cost/size, I would probably go for it. I hear you on the view not being as nice, but a balcony sounds like a lovely thing (if cat-proofed).
posted by oneirodynia at 1:03 PM on September 2 [1 favorite]
this part stood out to me- a responsive owner/manager is huge. Also I have a weakness for separate dining rooms, so that is very appealing. If you've been looking for awhile and this place really stands out among other places of a similar cost/size, I would probably go for it. I hear you on the view not being as nice, but a balcony sounds like a lovely thing (if cat-proofed).
posted by oneirodynia at 1:03 PM on September 2 [1 favorite]
As others have mentioned, my main question would be around your longterm goals.
If you are hoping to buy a condo or house, I would stay put and throw that extra $800 into a savings account or other savings vehicle. I lived in a pretty sub-par apartment for eight full years, but put up with it because the low rent allowed me to save up $40K towards a down payment and all the other things you spend money on when you buy a house. My main takeaway from being a home owner is that you CANNOT HAVE ENOUGH CASH, EVER, so if this is your goal, stay put and save save save.
If you plan on being a renter for the rest of your life (which is a totally valid path, especially if are set on living in a HCOL area!), then I would move to the new place (or another option that's similarly spacious) so you can settle into a more comfortable lifestyle for the years ahead. I cannot imagine living AND working from home in a studio apartment for an extended period of time. Worth doing in the short-term if it helps you save money; not ideal if you plan to be there indefinitely. When I bought a house, I went from a 1-bed apartment to a 2-bed house, which means I now have a home office. As someone who works from home 95% of the time, it is a GAME CHANGER to be able to confine my work life to a single room and shut the door when the day is over. My "office" used to be in my living room, which means that even on the weekend, I was a few feet away from my desk while watching TV, reading, napping, etc. Having extra space has been fabulous.
posted by leftover_scrabble_rack at 2:43 PM on September 2
If you are hoping to buy a condo or house, I would stay put and throw that extra $800 into a savings account or other savings vehicle. I lived in a pretty sub-par apartment for eight full years, but put up with it because the low rent allowed me to save up $40K towards a down payment and all the other things you spend money on when you buy a house. My main takeaway from being a home owner is that you CANNOT HAVE ENOUGH CASH, EVER, so if this is your goal, stay put and save save save.
If you plan on being a renter for the rest of your life (which is a totally valid path, especially if are set on living in a HCOL area!), then I would move to the new place (or another option that's similarly spacious) so you can settle into a more comfortable lifestyle for the years ahead. I cannot imagine living AND working from home in a studio apartment for an extended period of time. Worth doing in the short-term if it helps you save money; not ideal if you plan to be there indefinitely. When I bought a house, I went from a 1-bed apartment to a 2-bed house, which means I now have a home office. As someone who works from home 95% of the time, it is a GAME CHANGER to be able to confine my work life to a single room and shut the door when the day is over. My "office" used to be in my living room, which means that even on the weekend, I was a few feet away from my desk while watching TV, reading, napping, etc. Having extra space has been fabulous.
posted by leftover_scrabble_rack at 2:43 PM on September 2
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Another suggestion would be to ask a few residents in the new building if you could buy them a coffee in the next few days and "interview" them for a realistic view of life in the building from people who are already there. Would they trade the amount of space for saving money on rent? For the assurance the building wouldn't be sold? Best case, you hear good things and you start off knowing a few neighbors better.
posted by cocoagirl at 9:07 PM on August 31 [5 favorites]