Relaxing city vacation hacks?
August 1, 2024 1:54 PM Subscribe
I'm planning a two week long-haul trip to a bustling destination towards the end of August. I feel a lot of self-imposed pressure to 'see everything', which I know is impossible. What I would prefer is to relax and truly enjoy what I do choose to see and do. I see a lot of travel hacks on the internet, but I would love some tips and 'hacks' that can help me relax and feel at ease on vacation.
There is simply so much to see and do in a new location that I tend to become overstimulated, anxious and indecisive. Are there ways I can prepare in advance for this, or tamp it down when it occurs? Experiences that will help me stay grounded and chill in a metropolis on the other side of the world? I can spend a bit of money to achieve this, but free things (ways of thinking?) would also be great. I'm intentionally keeping the question fairly broad to get as much inspiration as possible, not only for this trip but also for future travels. Thank you in advance!
There is simply so much to see and do in a new location that I tend to become overstimulated, anxious and indecisive. Are there ways I can prepare in advance for this, or tamp it down when it occurs? Experiences that will help me stay grounded and chill in a metropolis on the other side of the world? I can spend a bit of money to achieve this, but free things (ways of thinking?) would also be great. I'm intentionally keeping the question fairly broad to get as much inspiration as possible, not only for this trip but also for future travels. Thank you in advance!
When I plan a trip like this, I read a guide book ahead of time. A real, hard copy guide book. I used to like Rough Guides, but now I like Rick Steves, which may be a function of me aging into Steves's target audience. Anyhow. The reason I read the guidebook, is I start with the thought that I can't see everything, so I pick what seems most interesting to me, well ahead of time -- I make a list of the things that make me go "ooo!" or the things that are important to me. For me, this is certain kinds of art museums or galleries, certain food experiences, and certain historical things -- but maybe not THE ONES that make everyone else go "oooo!"
Then, once I have my list, I make a rough plan. I don't make an hour by hour itinerary, but I'll figure out that some things will take a half day, other things will take a full day. I look at Google maps to see where things are located, and I organize my list based on things that are near each other. If my list is too long for the time I have, I cut things off, if it's too short, I add things. When the list is settled, if things require tickets for specific dates/times, I buy those and note the day/time on my list.
Once I am at the place, I use the list as a rough guide. I know I will definitely do the things I have tickets for on those dates/times. Other things I can shift around because I have a sense of about how much time they will take. If I stumble over a REALLY cool thing I want to do that wasn't in my guidebook, I can make adjustments on the fly, because I have all the needed parameters (my interests, my time constraints -- the pre-purchased tickets and the end date of the trip -- and now when and where the REALLY cool thing is happening) and I can make an informed choice.
After trips that I've planned this way, I always feel good about what I've seen and done. I knew going in I couldn't see/do everything, but I will have seen/done what was most important to me, or what I discovered as part of the trip.
For example, I'm planning a trip to London this fall with my mom. In addition to all the usual time constraints, my mom has mobility issues, so that's another parameter I'm planning around. No matter what else happens on that trip, as long as I get to go to the Tate Modern and Tower of London, I will have had a good time. I know I will miss a whole lot, and that's ok.
posted by OrangeDisk at 2:15 PM on August 1, 2024 [13 favorites]
Then, once I have my list, I make a rough plan. I don't make an hour by hour itinerary, but I'll figure out that some things will take a half day, other things will take a full day. I look at Google maps to see where things are located, and I organize my list based on things that are near each other. If my list is too long for the time I have, I cut things off, if it's too short, I add things. When the list is settled, if things require tickets for specific dates/times, I buy those and note the day/time on my list.
Once I am at the place, I use the list as a rough guide. I know I will definitely do the things I have tickets for on those dates/times. Other things I can shift around because I have a sense of about how much time they will take. If I stumble over a REALLY cool thing I want to do that wasn't in my guidebook, I can make adjustments on the fly, because I have all the needed parameters (my interests, my time constraints -- the pre-purchased tickets and the end date of the trip -- and now when and where the REALLY cool thing is happening) and I can make an informed choice.
After trips that I've planned this way, I always feel good about what I've seen and done. I knew going in I couldn't see/do everything, but I will have seen/done what was most important to me, or what I discovered as part of the trip.
For example, I'm planning a trip to London this fall with my mom. In addition to all the usual time constraints, my mom has mobility issues, so that's another parameter I'm planning around. No matter what else happens on that trip, as long as I get to go to the Tate Modern and Tower of London, I will have had a good time. I know I will miss a whole lot, and that's ok.
posted by OrangeDisk at 2:15 PM on August 1, 2024 [13 favorites]
Find an outdoor cafe or beer garden to sit down for a while and enjoy a coffee or drink. It allows your eyes to take in everything around you (people, architecture) so you still feel like you're touring around while relaxing for a bit. Of course, a few too many drinks might make you relax for the rest of the day!
posted by Don_K at 2:18 PM on August 1, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by Don_K at 2:18 PM on August 1, 2024 [2 favorites]
I generally do this by planning out my schedule ahead of time but then giving lots of time for each thing I plan on seeing or doing which means I can't cram a bunch of stuff into a day. This way I've already made the decisions ahead of time about what I'm going to see and what I'm going to miss so once I'm there it's just a matter of following the schedule.
But also I've become more comfortable over time with the idea of missing out on stuff because there is too much out there to see and do.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:19 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
But also I've become more comfortable over time with the idea of missing out on stuff because there is too much out there to see and do.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:19 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
Is your trip planning and destination compatible with renting an apartment or even a small house instead of using a hotel?
I've done trips to larger cities where I stay somewhere away from the city center but near public transportation so it's easy to get downtown... if I want. Like 30-40 minutes away is a good distance. Or if you are going have a car, even better.
The suburbs are a LOT quieter and spacious for those "nothing" days like greta simone suggests. You have more room - even a small kitchen goes a long way as opposed to ordering room service all the time.
Go to a local supermarket or bakery (which is a great travel experience too), buy and make and eat whatever you want for those down days. Visit local parks, walk around. Sometimes you find really neat things by chance as well.
Then when you're ready for a Major Sight you can easily commute in, do what you plan, then have a comfortable quiet place to rest afterward.
posted by JoeZydeco at 2:21 PM on August 1, 2024
I've done trips to larger cities where I stay somewhere away from the city center but near public transportation so it's easy to get downtown... if I want. Like 30-40 minutes away is a good distance. Or if you are going have a car, even better.
The suburbs are a LOT quieter and spacious for those "nothing" days like greta simone suggests. You have more room - even a small kitchen goes a long way as opposed to ordering room service all the time.
Go to a local supermarket or bakery (which is a great travel experience too), buy and make and eat whatever you want for those down days. Visit local parks, walk around. Sometimes you find really neat things by chance as well.
Then when you're ready for a Major Sight you can easily commute in, do what you plan, then have a comfortable quiet place to rest afterward.
posted by JoeZydeco at 2:21 PM on August 1, 2024
The pressure is feeling the squeeze of too many things to do in too short a time.
To get over that, get comfortable with mentally telling yourself "next time".
For example, if you head to Paris and don't get to the Louvre or that one patisserie or that favorite restaurant, just tell yourself you'll go next time you're there. It doesn't matter if you don't know when that will be, just accept that if you enjoy this trip enough you will go back. Definitively. This is not your last or only chance to do these things.
Framed as "next time", suddenly the pressure is off and you can enjoy whatever it is you do get to do "this time" that much more.
posted by matrixclown at 2:23 PM on August 1, 2024 [3 favorites]
To get over that, get comfortable with mentally telling yourself "next time".
For example, if you head to Paris and don't get to the Louvre or that one patisserie or that favorite restaurant, just tell yourself you'll go next time you're there. It doesn't matter if you don't know when that will be, just accept that if you enjoy this trip enough you will go back. Definitively. This is not your last or only chance to do these things.
Framed as "next time", suddenly the pressure is off and you can enjoy whatever it is you do get to do "this time" that much more.
posted by matrixclown at 2:23 PM on August 1, 2024 [3 favorites]
When I went to Tokyo a day trip to the hakone sculpture garden was very soothing.
Similar would be the local botanical garden/sculpture park or cemetery.
posted by brujita at 2:25 PM on August 1, 2024 [2 favorites]
Similar would be the local botanical garden/sculpture park or cemetery.
posted by brujita at 2:25 PM on August 1, 2024 [2 favorites]
Try to limit yourself to doing/seeing "one thing" each day.
Try to have time to return to your hotel and "freshen up" before dinner.
Try to eat your meals and spend most of your time near your hotel, as best you can, so you don't spend a lot of time travelling/commuting.
In general, try to figure out and plan for the time it will take to get to and from places, and then leave extra time because it usually takes longer than you think!
posted by bruinfan at 2:33 PM on August 1, 2024 [6 favorites]
Try to have time to return to your hotel and "freshen up" before dinner.
Try to eat your meals and spend most of your time near your hotel, as best you can, so you don't spend a lot of time travelling/commuting.
In general, try to figure out and plan for the time it will take to get to and from places, and then leave extra time because it usually takes longer than you think!
posted by bruinfan at 2:33 PM on August 1, 2024 [6 favorites]
OrangeDisk has a pretty good plan. I am usually not quite that organized, but I pick 1-2 MUST things per day, and leave the rest open. So in the morning I see Thing 1, and then lunch however I want, and then the afternoon or evening is Thing 2. If I stumble over extra stuff or want to take longer, I can.
Sometimes Thing 1 is very large (like a daytrip with multiple items) so that's all I do, and the plan on a quiet evening.
I am also a big fan of a sauna day/massage day if you like those, especially the day before you leave so you aren't so stressed.
Think about what *kinds* of things you like. Do you prefer to eat local foods? Try a walking food tour. There's tons of them, and they can be super fun and you meet a lot of fellow travelers.
See art? Well there's a TON of museums, so figure out what kind of art you like and especially if there's a particular piece you would love to see in person. Prioritize seeing that and don't try to absorb the whole museum (impossible!). It's ok to skip a room full of Madonnas and Baby Jesuses if you've already seen all of those you want. Or to see just one cathedral instead of 5. It's totally ok to see your one piece or exhibit and then head out.
Do you care about historical sites? Those benefit most from guided tours, and maybe there's even a really informative mini-museum (I thoroughly enjoyed the kitchsy Viking museum in York) or a reenactment you can see.
If you want to understand local culture more, go during a special festival or parade or fair.
Maybe think of it like those Chinese buffet places. It would be ludicrous to think you could eat all that food, even if you are starving. You pick and choose and walk away satisfied. Travel is like that too.
posted by emjaybee at 2:48 PM on August 1, 2024
Sometimes Thing 1 is very large (like a daytrip with multiple items) so that's all I do, and the plan on a quiet evening.
I am also a big fan of a sauna day/massage day if you like those, especially the day before you leave so you aren't so stressed.
Think about what *kinds* of things you like. Do you prefer to eat local foods? Try a walking food tour. There's tons of them, and they can be super fun and you meet a lot of fellow travelers.
See art? Well there's a TON of museums, so figure out what kind of art you like and especially if there's a particular piece you would love to see in person. Prioritize seeing that and don't try to absorb the whole museum (impossible!). It's ok to skip a room full of Madonnas and Baby Jesuses if you've already seen all of those you want. Or to see just one cathedral instead of 5. It's totally ok to see your one piece or exhibit and then head out.
Do you care about historical sites? Those benefit most from guided tours, and maybe there's even a really informative mini-museum (I thoroughly enjoyed the kitchsy Viking museum in York) or a reenactment you can see.
If you want to understand local culture more, go during a special festival or parade or fair.
Maybe think of it like those Chinese buffet places. It would be ludicrous to think you could eat all that food, even if you are starving. You pick and choose and walk away satisfied. Travel is like that too.
posted by emjaybee at 2:48 PM on August 1, 2024
One sight / day. Some days the sight can be the local cafe/spa/park. Be open as to what constitutes ‘seeing things’, e.g. people watching counts.
posted by koahiatamadl at 3:26 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by koahiatamadl at 3:26 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
I plan one thing a day for most days but not all days.
I also like to look up "things you must see in X city if you are there for x days" lists and then I shoot for hitting some/most of the contents of one reflecting a shorter visit. That is, when I went to Dubrovnik, I made sure to hit all of the recommended highlights for a three day stay. I was there for a week. The rest, I filled in catch as catch can. Lots of rest. Lots of time in the hotel pool. Lots of time at the beach. Went to our favorite local bar five times.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 3:32 PM on August 1, 2024 [2 favorites]
I also like to look up "things you must see in X city if you are there for x days" lists and then I shoot for hitting some/most of the contents of one reflecting a shorter visit. That is, when I went to Dubrovnik, I made sure to hit all of the recommended highlights for a three day stay. I was there for a week. The rest, I filled in catch as catch can. Lots of rest. Lots of time in the hotel pool. Lots of time at the beach. Went to our favorite local bar five times.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 3:32 PM on August 1, 2024 [2 favorites]
Book a spa day.
Seconding this. Also, I knew this was greta simone before I even read the username.
posted by thivaia at 4:15 PM on August 1, 2024 [3 favorites]
Seconding this. Also, I knew this was greta simone before I even read the username.
posted by thivaia at 4:15 PM on August 1, 2024 [3 favorites]
As much as possible, I like to move counter to the bustle - like taking the subway to Coney Island or the Brooklyn botanical gardens on a weekday morning/come back mid afternoon/grab a bite and a beer on a patio downtown before the end of the work day/go to a museum until it closes/grab a slice somewhere as it's getting dark/maybe check out a bar close to my accommodations
posted by brachiopod at 4:18 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by brachiopod at 4:18 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
Since it's August I would try to hit a beach/lake/river/outdoor swim spot. I recently took a trip to Japan and we did a side trip to Lake Biwa and hung out at the lake all day and it was great. We really got a flavor for how local folks relax and have fun. We swam, we read, we at ice cream, we got sunburned, (try to skip that part), the train ride out there was actually really interesting.
posted by brookeb at 4:32 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by brookeb at 4:32 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
Plan some leisurely lunches, not at rush hour, at good restaurants; not as expensive as dinner. Take your time, enjoy. If there's an affordable museum, visit what interests you, then go sit in the cafe with tea. Go to a library, hang out with wifi and a book/ music/ video. See if there's a bookstore cafe, same. Barnes & Noble just opened a new store and I see myself spending some time there. My town (Portland, ME) has a historical society with a really nice garden, great place to have a sandwich or beverage and chill. Schedule 'slow time' to do relaxing things in a new environment. If there's a bus tour, it's a nice way to see a city and still relax. It can orient you to the city's main streets.
Give yourself permission to take it easy.
posted by theora55 at 5:06 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
Give yourself permission to take it easy.
posted by theora55 at 5:06 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
+1 to "one sight per day"
posted by Sauce Trough at 5:12 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by Sauce Trough at 5:12 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
I like to prioritize taking my time with a workout in the morning and a relaxing walk to get coffee while on vacation.
posted by haptic_avenger at 5:30 PM on August 1, 2024
posted by haptic_avenger at 5:30 PM on August 1, 2024
I like to plan a shopping day on long trips. No high culture, nothing enriching, just checking out some cute neighborhoods and any flagship department stores/malls/supermarkets/farmers markets to see what they're like. I rarely buy much but it's a fun glimpse of everyday life in that city and takes some of the pressure off after a lot of very serious looking at art and learning about history.
I also really like finding a place to go birding in cities I visit (yes, cities!). If you're halfway around the world, you'll see something interesting and new in the most boring city park. Doesn't have to be birding - any kind of visual collecting (looking for ghost signs, poking around cemeteries for interesting headstones, whatever you like) is great because you're mostly just going for a nice scenic walk but you have a little bit of purpose to make it feel worthwhile.
Finally, most cities have at least one, if not multiple, weird little museums that are chill but also super memorable and fun. I'm thinking of Katten Kabinet in Amsterdam, Museum of Jurassic Technology in LA, Le Musee de la Chasse et de la Nature in Paris, the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia, and I'm sure there are tons more I'm not thinking of offhand. I feel like those really make a trip for me - seeing the big, classic cultural institutions is great and some of those have been really memorable, but I almost always like the little weirdo museums better.
posted by snaw at 6:38 PM on August 1, 2024
I also really like finding a place to go birding in cities I visit (yes, cities!). If you're halfway around the world, you'll see something interesting and new in the most boring city park. Doesn't have to be birding - any kind of visual collecting (looking for ghost signs, poking around cemeteries for interesting headstones, whatever you like) is great because you're mostly just going for a nice scenic walk but you have a little bit of purpose to make it feel worthwhile.
Finally, most cities have at least one, if not multiple, weird little museums that are chill but also super memorable and fun. I'm thinking of Katten Kabinet in Amsterdam, Museum of Jurassic Technology in LA, Le Musee de la Chasse et de la Nature in Paris, the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia, and I'm sure there are tons more I'm not thinking of offhand. I feel like those really make a trip for me - seeing the big, classic cultural institutions is great and some of those have been really memorable, but I almost always like the little weirdo museums better.
posted by snaw at 6:38 PM on August 1, 2024
Yes to all the "one main thing per day" but also have back up things. Like if your main attraction doesn't take as long as you thought, what do you want to do next? (And I don't include restaurants/etc. in the "thing.")
But also, plan your meals! I will have destination meals but other than that, I am so bad. Scope out a few places (sit-down, casual, takeaway) around where you're going to be and keep note of them.
Look up local events and check those out, too.
Also, it's totally good to just go chill in your hotel room/AirBnB/etc. That's part of vacation too! It's one of the best parts! You did something cool today and now you can just relax for a bit!
You won't be able to do everything in whatever city you go to. Pick a few key things and then the rest is just "well, that would be nice." You'll still have a great time.
And yeah, mostly, those places will still be there and you can go to them again at some point. Like I took a trip to LA I'd been dreaming about for 20 years and while I didn't do everything, I still had fun with what I did. And LA will still be there if I want to go back. And honestly, some of the best parts of that trip were just hanging out in my hotel room and watching movies.
posted by edencosmic at 6:50 PM on August 1, 2024
But also, plan your meals! I will have destination meals but other than that, I am so bad. Scope out a few places (sit-down, casual, takeaway) around where you're going to be and keep note of them.
Look up local events and check those out, too.
Also, it's totally good to just go chill in your hotel room/AirBnB/etc. That's part of vacation too! It's one of the best parts! You did something cool today and now you can just relax for a bit!
You won't be able to do everything in whatever city you go to. Pick a few key things and then the rest is just "well, that would be nice." You'll still have a great time.
And yeah, mostly, those places will still be there and you can go to them again at some point. Like I took a trip to LA I'd been dreaming about for 20 years and while I didn't do everything, I still had fun with what I did. And LA will still be there if I want to go back. And honestly, some of the best parts of that trip were just hanging out in my hotel room and watching movies.
posted by edencosmic at 6:50 PM on August 1, 2024
Ticketed sporting or cultural events are great for a “rest” day. These things usually involve a lot of sitting down.
If you can’t go to the hotel to freshen up in the afternoon, at least do a happy hour. A drink (alcoholic or non), a snack, and a good sit down, while not quite the same as a nap, works pretty well.
Plan day trips to the countryside or other chill locations. Find nature and go there.
Paradoxically, make sure you plan your vacation splurge. Your trip should be designed with a small number of peak days with some really special experiences planned. Make sure you have your peaks and you have splurged as you are able to make them great. This might make it easier to give yourself permission to chill on other days.
posted by shock muppet at 9:28 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
If you can’t go to the hotel to freshen up in the afternoon, at least do a happy hour. A drink (alcoholic or non), a snack, and a good sit down, while not quite the same as a nap, works pretty well.
Plan day trips to the countryside or other chill locations. Find nature and go there.
Paradoxically, make sure you plan your vacation splurge. Your trip should be designed with a small number of peak days with some really special experiences planned. Make sure you have your peaks and you have splurged as you are able to make them great. This might make it easier to give yourself permission to chill on other days.
posted by shock muppet at 9:28 PM on August 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
I've lived in more than one large metropolis and even after living there for years, I never found time to see everything I wanted to see.
The first thing is to ask yourself what kinds of things you want to see and do. Don't be led too much by what others think you should do.
Large museums for example. I love them but they are also crowded with people who think they should be there because others told them they should go. Honestly, I wish they'd do something else and make more space for the rest of us.
My tip for towns and cities is:
Walking
Maybe pick out some neighborhoods beforehand but just go start walking. You'll almost certainly just stumble upon things that didn't make it into any guidebook.
Small museums/houses
There are almost certainly smaller places that are just as interesting as the larger museums but don't allow tour groups, so they dont get much publicity. But that is exactly why you want to go there.
Relax
Other people have said this too. How do people relax there? We always visit the botanical gardens but also the parks that are unique to that place. Here in Amsterdam, I take visitors on a boat through the canals.
Food
Most walking food tours are great and may also take you into parts of town you wouldn't have visited. Explore the ethnic food that is particular to that place. I think its criminal that people visit San Francisco and don't have Chinese, visit Berlin and don't have Turkish, visit Amsterdam and don't have Surinamese etc etc.
One thing a Day
I agree with this. Anything more than that is a stressful rush. Sometimes we will push ourselves to two or more if the things are clustered together. In Paris, we'll usually see an exhibition in the morning, have a very long lunch at a Bouillon or Bistro. Walk it off a bit, maybe see something else in the afternoon, then grab a bite at the supermarket and sit by the river for hours.
Evenings
This may depend on language but we often schedule a performance or opera. Still, most music performances will be accessible to all languages. When we were in Stuttgart a few months ago, we saw a Wagner opera. When we were last in Paris, we saw a performance by the countertenor Phillip Jaroussky. You could also choose a lively part of town to sit and watch the world go by.
posted by vacapinta at 2:18 AM on August 2, 2024
The first thing is to ask yourself what kinds of things you want to see and do. Don't be led too much by what others think you should do.
Large museums for example. I love them but they are also crowded with people who think they should be there because others told them they should go. Honestly, I wish they'd do something else and make more space for the rest of us.
My tip for towns and cities is:
Walking
Maybe pick out some neighborhoods beforehand but just go start walking. You'll almost certainly just stumble upon things that didn't make it into any guidebook.
Small museums/houses
There are almost certainly smaller places that are just as interesting as the larger museums but don't allow tour groups, so they dont get much publicity. But that is exactly why you want to go there.
Relax
Other people have said this too. How do people relax there? We always visit the botanical gardens but also the parks that are unique to that place. Here in Amsterdam, I take visitors on a boat through the canals.
Food
Most walking food tours are great and may also take you into parts of town you wouldn't have visited. Explore the ethnic food that is particular to that place. I think its criminal that people visit San Francisco and don't have Chinese, visit Berlin and don't have Turkish, visit Amsterdam and don't have Surinamese etc etc.
One thing a Day
I agree with this. Anything more than that is a stressful rush. Sometimes we will push ourselves to two or more if the things are clustered together. In Paris, we'll usually see an exhibition in the morning, have a very long lunch at a Bouillon or Bistro. Walk it off a bit, maybe see something else in the afternoon, then grab a bite at the supermarket and sit by the river for hours.
Evenings
This may depend on language but we often schedule a performance or opera. Still, most music performances will be accessible to all languages. When we were in Stuttgart a few months ago, we saw a Wagner opera. When we were last in Paris, we saw a performance by the countertenor Phillip Jaroussky. You could also choose a lively part of town to sit and watch the world go by.
posted by vacapinta at 2:18 AM on August 2, 2024
You know what you want - to relax and enjoy.
This is your mantra... am I relaxed? am i enjoying it?
Acceptance will help... I can't see everything, nobody can see everything, in fact, it sounds neither relaxing nor enjoyable to see everything...I don't want to see everything!
Others have spoken a lot about how to structure your time, but it's all nonsense if you're neither relaxed nor enjoying yourself!
posted by london explorer girl at 2:27 AM on August 2, 2024 [1 favorite]
This is your mantra... am I relaxed? am i enjoying it?
Acceptance will help... I can't see everything, nobody can see everything, in fact, it sounds neither relaxing nor enjoyable to see everything...I don't want to see everything!
Others have spoken a lot about how to structure your time, but it's all nonsense if you're neither relaxed nor enjoying yourself!
posted by london explorer girl at 2:27 AM on August 2, 2024 [1 favorite]
Experiences that will help me stay grounded and chill in a metropolis on the other side of the world?
The thing that does this best for me is a bookshop. If I can duck into a bookshop, find the shelf of English-language books, and just stand there and browse for a bit, I calm down. Even if I'm not remotely interested in any of the books on offer, even if they're just ESL textbooks, it's a quiet moment doing a very familiar activity in an environment I understand and feel comfortable in. A bookshop is a bookshop, even if every other book in the building is in a language I can't read.
Is there anything that might work the same way for you?
Another trick that has worked for me is to stay in a hotel outside the main tourist area, so that I've got a bit of a walk before I hit the crowds. As long as the route between the two is a safe and enjoyable one to walk - a stroll along a beach or through a park, or along quiet roads with pretty buildings - it's a way to adjust to some of the unfamiliarity before the onslaught of noise and crowds and pushy street vendors in the busier areas.
And yes, nature and "next time" and weird little museums, and a day of just wandering around the shops.
Also - figure out if you're really a planner, or if you're happier taking things as they come. Turns out I'm in the latter camp. If my goal for the day is "enjoy myself", and I spend the day doing what I feel like, I'm happy. If my goal is "follow this carefully planned route so I don't miss any of these places I want to see", I'm a lot more stressed - even if everything goes to plan, I'm looking at my watch all day, and I feel too constrained to be able to go and check out interesting things I spot along the way. That's no fun for me. So I'll look through guidebooks ahead of time, and I'll have an idea of what I'd enjoy doing and seeing, but I won't try to schedule myself beyond a general "I'll try to be up and out of the hotel by 9 every morning so I don't close off any options" or "if it rains, here's where I'll go" or "Hmm, perhaps today would be a good day to see the Louvre". Yes, sometimes I'll end up not managing to see something I particularly wanted to, but that's where "next time" comes in.
And maybe keep a journal while you're there. Then if you catch yourself beating yourself up for not having managed to fit X thing in, you can remind yourself of what you did instead. No, I didn't go to the Louvre, because it had such a huge queue to get in - but I watched butterflies, I lost myself in the shelves and atmosphere of Shakespeare and Company, I found some charming shopping arcades, I petted a cat, I saw the Lady and the Unicorn tapestries at the Musee de Cluny (and had them all to myself for a bit), and I had a fantastic view of the Eiffel Tower at sunset. It was a lovely day!
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 2:48 AM on August 2, 2024
The thing that does this best for me is a bookshop. If I can duck into a bookshop, find the shelf of English-language books, and just stand there and browse for a bit, I calm down. Even if I'm not remotely interested in any of the books on offer, even if they're just ESL textbooks, it's a quiet moment doing a very familiar activity in an environment I understand and feel comfortable in. A bookshop is a bookshop, even if every other book in the building is in a language I can't read.
Is there anything that might work the same way for you?
Another trick that has worked for me is to stay in a hotel outside the main tourist area, so that I've got a bit of a walk before I hit the crowds. As long as the route between the two is a safe and enjoyable one to walk - a stroll along a beach or through a park, or along quiet roads with pretty buildings - it's a way to adjust to some of the unfamiliarity before the onslaught of noise and crowds and pushy street vendors in the busier areas.
And yes, nature and "next time" and weird little museums, and a day of just wandering around the shops.
Also - figure out if you're really a planner, or if you're happier taking things as they come. Turns out I'm in the latter camp. If my goal for the day is "enjoy myself", and I spend the day doing what I feel like, I'm happy. If my goal is "follow this carefully planned route so I don't miss any of these places I want to see", I'm a lot more stressed - even if everything goes to plan, I'm looking at my watch all day, and I feel too constrained to be able to go and check out interesting things I spot along the way. That's no fun for me. So I'll look through guidebooks ahead of time, and I'll have an idea of what I'd enjoy doing and seeing, but I won't try to schedule myself beyond a general "I'll try to be up and out of the hotel by 9 every morning so I don't close off any options" or "if it rains, here's where I'll go" or "Hmm, perhaps today would be a good day to see the Louvre". Yes, sometimes I'll end up not managing to see something I particularly wanted to, but that's where "next time" comes in.
And maybe keep a journal while you're there. Then if you catch yourself beating yourself up for not having managed to fit X thing in, you can remind yourself of what you did instead. No, I didn't go to the Louvre, because it had such a huge queue to get in - but I watched butterflies, I lost myself in the shelves and atmosphere of Shakespeare and Company, I found some charming shopping arcades, I petted a cat, I saw the Lady and the Unicorn tapestries at the Musee de Cluny (and had them all to myself for a bit), and I had a fantastic view of the Eiffel Tower at sunset. It was a lovely day!
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 2:48 AM on August 2, 2024
My partner and I travel a lot together and we used to just plan a couple of things and otherwise ended up spending a lot of time while on vacation stuck in a state of indecision and end up not doing as much as we'd like. We realized after doing this for several trips that we needed a better plan.
What we started doing is planning loose blocks of days, complete with possible places to eat, that are kind of our itineraries for the days. We make it fun by making ridiculous little powerpoint presentations for each other with our planned days as "proposals", usually including a couple of day trips out of the city we're staying in. We then loosely plan our schedule for each of the days we,re going to be there, taking a combination of our planned days and making them work logically together.
For instance, we went to London in April and one day was a rock and roll tour in Soho, followed by lunch at Seven Dials Market, then we went to the London Transport Museum (awesome, BTW) and then wandered along the embankment a bit until we wanted to go back to near our accommodation for dinner. Another day was wandering through Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park in the morning, stopping for a picnic lunch on a bench in the park in a nice spot, then heading toward Mayfair to go for cocktails at one of a few places we'd bookmarked, then wandering through Soho a bit until our dinner reservation at 8pm. The day we arrived, early in the morning from central Canada, we planned an easy day of wandering around our hotel's neighbourhood toward somewhere for a pint in a bar, then having dinner nearby and having an early night.
We planned the days with kind of high and low demand activities alternating a bit, always giving ourselves time in the morning to chill and have coffee and breakfast before getting going and generally just going with what we had the energy for. I have (medicated) ADHD and probably also autism and get burned out easily, but indecision and guilt and doing nothing when I want to do *something* also burn me out and our system is really good for that. It's also really good for ensuring that we both understand what the other person wants to get out of the trip, so we are both satisfied with our visit and our time together.
posted by urbanlenny at 8:23 AM on August 2, 2024 [1 favorite]
What we started doing is planning loose blocks of days, complete with possible places to eat, that are kind of our itineraries for the days. We make it fun by making ridiculous little powerpoint presentations for each other with our planned days as "proposals", usually including a couple of day trips out of the city we're staying in. We then loosely plan our schedule for each of the days we,re going to be there, taking a combination of our planned days and making them work logically together.
For instance, we went to London in April and one day was a rock and roll tour in Soho, followed by lunch at Seven Dials Market, then we went to the London Transport Museum (awesome, BTW) and then wandered along the embankment a bit until we wanted to go back to near our accommodation for dinner. Another day was wandering through Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park in the morning, stopping for a picnic lunch on a bench in the park in a nice spot, then heading toward Mayfair to go for cocktails at one of a few places we'd bookmarked, then wandering through Soho a bit until our dinner reservation at 8pm. The day we arrived, early in the morning from central Canada, we planned an easy day of wandering around our hotel's neighbourhood toward somewhere for a pint in a bar, then having dinner nearby and having an early night.
We planned the days with kind of high and low demand activities alternating a bit, always giving ourselves time in the morning to chill and have coffee and breakfast before getting going and generally just going with what we had the energy for. I have (medicated) ADHD and probably also autism and get burned out easily, but indecision and guilt and doing nothing when I want to do *something* also burn me out and our system is really good for that. It's also really good for ensuring that we both understand what the other person wants to get out of the trip, so we are both satisfied with our visit and our time together.
posted by urbanlenny at 8:23 AM on August 2, 2024 [1 favorite]
Plan to do one activity/sightseeing thing a day. Not more. I suppose you could add in one meal at a specific place, too. But planning for only one activity gives you space to not rush to get there and gives you some freedom and flexibility to relax, sit and read, etc.
posted by bluedaisy at 11:17 AM on August 2, 2024
posted by bluedaisy at 11:17 AM on August 2, 2024
I would add to the one activity a day advice: book restaurant reservations also. I find picking restaurants in the moment incredibly stressful, and find it much more fun if I know where I'm eating rather than having to worry about finding a good place. If you don't care much about food this might not matter as much, but I find that I'm able to enjoy the day much more when I know where I will be eating dinner and I'm not worried about figuring something out. If you're one person this might not be so bad (instead, just create a list of places you know you want to go), but if you're a couple or especially a group, I think it's worth it.
posted by ch1x0r at 1:27 PM on August 5, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by ch1x0r at 1:27 PM on August 5, 2024 [2 favorites]
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Book a spa day.
Spend a day to two going where the locals go to relax. For example, I live in New York City, and New Yorkers love to take a day or two in the Hudson Valley, or go to the beach to get away from the bustle.
posted by greta simone at 2:13 PM on August 1, 2024 [5 favorites]