What is rest actually for?
July 23, 2024 12:41 PM Subscribe
I have a pretty bad cold, but my responsibilities are making it hard to rest. I feel overwhelmed and guilty when I think of my pets. I feel inadequate and anxious thinking of other care duties like visiting elderly family members or supporting my husband (who is more or less on bed rest because he just had back surgery). Overall, I feel resentful and fragile and very sad. I think it might help me to understand why my body needs so much rest right now.
I have two dogs of my own plus a guest dog to exercise and feed and pet. I have to change one dog's bandage several times a day for a wound that could otherwise become infected. I have to apply salve to a neighbour's chicken once a day. And then I feel like I should ask my husband what he needs several times a day, because it hurts him to get up. I'm trying to cook a meal once a day for the two of us. I have to search for a new apartment and visit my grandma every few days. I have to get groceries and fill puzzle toys for the dogs so they can at least have a little bit of fun (because I haven't been able to do more than the bare minimum of walks for the last two days). I want to let the chickens out of their enclosure because they need some exercise, too. And these are just the things I feel certain I have to do, there's also a lot of stuff that's just being ignored and will cause problems later (like bills).
Meanwhile, I'm feeling really bad. My whole body hurts, I often feel shivery or tingly, and I'm extremely congested. I have a sore throat and a permanent headache despite Ibuprofen. Last night, my nose was so congested I couldn't breathe properly (or fall asleep) until six a.m. I'm nodding off again now. I feel feverish, like I can't think straight. I just want to sleep. And I'm impatient with myself because it's been years since I've been as productive as I want to be (due to mental health), and it felt like I was starting to get better, and now there's this new thing.
Can you convince me rest is necessary, so I'll do what my body wants? Or can you tell me it's not that important, so that I can do what my brain is urging me to do? The confusion around these conflicting desires is the worst.
I have two dogs of my own plus a guest dog to exercise and feed and pet. I have to change one dog's bandage several times a day for a wound that could otherwise become infected. I have to apply salve to a neighbour's chicken once a day. And then I feel like I should ask my husband what he needs several times a day, because it hurts him to get up. I'm trying to cook a meal once a day for the two of us. I have to search for a new apartment and visit my grandma every few days. I have to get groceries and fill puzzle toys for the dogs so they can at least have a little bit of fun (because I haven't been able to do more than the bare minimum of walks for the last two days). I want to let the chickens out of their enclosure because they need some exercise, too. And these are just the things I feel certain I have to do, there's also a lot of stuff that's just being ignored and will cause problems later (like bills).
Meanwhile, I'm feeling really bad. My whole body hurts, I often feel shivery or tingly, and I'm extremely congested. I have a sore throat and a permanent headache despite Ibuprofen. Last night, my nose was so congested I couldn't breathe properly (or fall asleep) until six a.m. I'm nodding off again now. I feel feverish, like I can't think straight. I just want to sleep. And I'm impatient with myself because it's been years since I've been as productive as I want to be (due to mental health), and it felt like I was starting to get better, and now there's this new thing.
Can you convince me rest is necessary, so I'll do what my body wants? Or can you tell me it's not that important, so that I can do what my brain is urging me to do? The confusion around these conflicting desires is the worst.
You clearly need to figure out what your bare minimum is and do just that. Even without being sick, you sound over taxed. Please rest. If you have people you can call in to cash in some favors, this is the time.
posted by advicepig at 12:58 PM on July 23 [19 favorites]
posted by advicepig at 12:58 PM on July 23 [19 favorites]
Rest is for recovery. Without the rest, you can't recover.
I knew far too many people who kept pushing through things like glandular fever, and ended getting bed bound for 2-3 years with things like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, that was still disabling them many more years later.
Please seek some outside help with all of your responsibilities. Pay for takeaways if you can afford to (instead of cooking). If you don't rest now when your body is so desperately trying to get you to, more things are likely to go wrong, making you unable to do much else for potentialy years.
There is also a lot more out there now than just the common cold. You need to protect yourself from getting worse, and actualy help yourself get better.
posted by many-things at 12:59 PM on July 23 [14 favorites]
I knew far too many people who kept pushing through things like glandular fever, and ended getting bed bound for 2-3 years with things like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, that was still disabling them many more years later.
Please seek some outside help with all of your responsibilities. Pay for takeaways if you can afford to (instead of cooking). If you don't rest now when your body is so desperately trying to get you to, more things are likely to go wrong, making you unable to do much else for potentialy years.
There is also a lot more out there now than just the common cold. You need to protect yourself from getting worse, and actualy help yourself get better.
posted by many-things at 12:59 PM on July 23 [14 favorites]
Best answer: It’s the people who “tough it out” and “play through the pain” who end up shortening their careers by a few years and spending the rest of their lives enjoying low key chronic pain and walking wrong. If your whole life is being a professional athlete that’s maybe a choice but the rest of us need to take the time to fully recover so we can lead long useful lives in service of literally whatever you want to live a life in service of.
You’re playing a long game here, don’t cheat yourself out of the rest of your tomorrows by being short-sighted about your own well being today.
posted by mhoye at 12:59 PM on July 23 [7 favorites]
You’re playing a long game here, don’t cheat yourself out of the rest of your tomorrows by being short-sighted about your own well being today.
posted by mhoye at 12:59 PM on July 23 [7 favorites]
honestly in my own experience (and watching my husband when he gets sick): YOU WILL RECOVER MORE QUICKLY!!! the time you take to really rest is less time spent still sick, feeling run down etc., because you did not let your body recover. your immune system will be able to do it's job best when it's not taxed by other demands.
posted by supermedusa at 1:01 PM on July 23 [13 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 1:01 PM on July 23 [13 favorites]
Is it possible you have Covid? What you have sounds much worse than a cold, and cases are spiking again. If it is Covid, its effects on the brain could be heightening some of the confusion you’re feeling. If it’s not Covid, and is just a cold, well, it might just be capitalism making you feel like you should be productive instead of resting.
Whatever illness you have, you will get better faster if you rest. Go slow to go fast. Would you rather be operating at 0% for three or four days? Or operating at 30% for three or four weeks? You’d help your family members the most if you rested. It sounds like they need you and you’ll be a better (and less infectious!!) support to them when you are well.
posted by stellaluna at 1:03 PM on July 23 [17 favorites]
Whatever illness you have, you will get better faster if you rest. Go slow to go fast. Would you rather be operating at 0% for three or four days? Or operating at 30% for three or four weeks? You’d help your family members the most if you rested. It sounds like they need you and you’ll be a better (and less infectious!!) support to them when you are well.
posted by stellaluna at 1:03 PM on July 23 [17 favorites]
It's fine to push through when you have a touch of a headache, the sniffles, or a slightly scratchy throat. But when it's more than that, your body needs rest to heal, and you clearly are way, way, way past that threshold. Even if you don't care about yourself (and you should!), you won't be able to help others if you don't give yourself a chance to recover.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 1:04 PM on July 23 [4 favorites]
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 1:04 PM on July 23 [4 favorites]
Rest is absolutely necessary. Your dogs will be better off having a few days where they’re bored, and then having you back to full health, than having you push yourself to keep their lives fun and then be off your game for weeks because you overdid it. (I suspect the same is true of chickens but do not know for sure.)
Cut the corners you can cut. Can the groceries be delivered? Can you order takeout, maybe a LOT of takeout you can reheat the next day? Do you have a friend or neighbor who’d love to come walk and play with the dogs, or can you hire a dog walker? Would your grandma rather have you rest than visit her sick and miserable and maybe contagious?
If everyone has some calories in them and the human and animal medical stuff is taken care of, nothing else you’re describing sounds like it can’t wait a few days. Please rest and ask for help and hire help to the best of your capacity.
posted by Stacey at 1:15 PM on July 23 [9 favorites]
Cut the corners you can cut. Can the groceries be delivered? Can you order takeout, maybe a LOT of takeout you can reheat the next day? Do you have a friend or neighbor who’d love to come walk and play with the dogs, or can you hire a dog walker? Would your grandma rather have you rest than visit her sick and miserable and maybe contagious?
If everyone has some calories in them and the human and animal medical stuff is taken care of, nothing else you’re describing sounds like it can’t wait a few days. Please rest and ask for help and hire help to the best of your capacity.
posted by Stacey at 1:15 PM on July 23 [9 favorites]
Best answer: Also, it’s possible you feel fragile and resentful and sad because right now it would be nice for you to receive some of the caretaking you have been generously giving to others, but no one can do that for you right now. That is a very understandable feeling and kind of sucks even if it’s no one’s fault!
posted by stellaluna at 1:27 PM on July 23 [21 favorites]
posted by stellaluna at 1:27 PM on July 23 [21 favorites]
Best answer: You’re martyring yourself.
As to why our bodies need rest, no one is answering the question, but the answer we have is simply: physical and mental stress compromise the immune system, rendering it less effective. More detail / evidence would have to come from someone more qualified than me, but that’s the conventional answer. (I don’t actually know if it’s true, I just know that’s the conventional answer.)
Additionally, it is not compassionate to force someone who is struggling as hard as you are to carry on as though nothing is happening. (You know that, or you wouldn’t be worried about your dogs and husband. You just think you’re not allowed to have that for yourself.)
posted by stoneandstar at 1:38 PM on July 23 [4 favorites]
As to why our bodies need rest, no one is answering the question, but the answer we have is simply: physical and mental stress compromise the immune system, rendering it less effective. More detail / evidence would have to come from someone more qualified than me, but that’s the conventional answer. (I don’t actually know if it’s true, I just know that’s the conventional answer.)
Additionally, it is not compassionate to force someone who is struggling as hard as you are to carry on as though nothing is happening. (You know that, or you wouldn’t be worried about your dogs and husband. You just think you’re not allowed to have that for yourself.)
posted by stoneandstar at 1:38 PM on July 23 [4 favorites]
My favourite slogan T shirt of all time reads
On a cellular level,
I'm actually quite busy
When we're sick it's twice as true. Rest your big self while all your little selves are still having to work overtime just to stop you getting dead.
posted by flabdablet at 1:40 PM on July 23 [40 favorites]
I'm actually quite busy
When we're sick it's twice as true. Rest your big self while all your little selves are still having to work overtime just to stop you getting dead.
posted by flabdablet at 1:40 PM on July 23 [40 favorites]
Best answer: Setting aside all else: PLEASE don't visit your grandma when you maybe have Covid??? That is not only not required it is actually forbidden for you to do.
Rest is absolutely required. Without it your immune system cannot properly work to protect you, and if you do have Covid it is well documented that exertion during, and even for a while after, the illness causes long-term issues.
It sounds like you need someone to tell you this, so here is what you're going to do literally until you feel way, way, WAY better:
-You are going to order a ton of whatever food you and your spouse most like to eat when you're feeling low.
-You are going to change the bandages on the dog
-You are going to feed, water, and fill Kongs or whatever for the doggos
-You are going to order grocery delivery
When you are not doing these things, you are going to sleep. Literally. Sleep often, as often as your body will allow.
I promise, everything else will be waiting for you when you feel better.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 1:50 PM on July 23 [22 favorites]
Rest is absolutely required. Without it your immune system cannot properly work to protect you, and if you do have Covid it is well documented that exertion during, and even for a while after, the illness causes long-term issues.
It sounds like you need someone to tell you this, so here is what you're going to do literally until you feel way, way, WAY better:
-You are going to order a ton of whatever food you and your spouse most like to eat when you're feeling low.
-You are going to change the bandages on the dog
-You are going to feed, water, and fill Kongs or whatever for the doggos
-You are going to order grocery delivery
When you are not doing these things, you are going to sleep. Literally. Sleep often, as often as your body will allow.
I promise, everything else will be waiting for you when you feel better.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 1:50 PM on July 23 [22 favorites]
Best answer: Our bodies literally cannot heal without rest. This is true not just when we are ill but from the vagaries of such mundane indignities like having to breathe and pump blood and cognitively process on a daily basis. When we sleep our bodies go through a whole cascade of hormonal processes to allow the strange meat bags that we are to continue to do stuff like: process toxins, make blood, digest food, recall memories, engage with emotions, and utilize our muscles. If humans do not sleep, we literally die.
Now, some anthropologists argue that sleep is why humans are social animals. Sleep is why we have civilization. Your question reads like you are a lone island, homesteading in the wilderness with no one but yourself and Mefi account to rely upon. That is probably just your current exhaustion speaking. PLEASE do the following things, and then go to BED:
- Contact your grandma and tell her you can’t visit because you are sick and don’t want to infect her or anybody else
- Call in a favor from someone local to come help your dogs and chickens. This could be someone from a church, a school group parent, an actual neighbor, a previous pet sitter, a younger friend of grandma’s, an old coworker, someone your husband thinks of, a local mefite if you want to share your location, etc.
- Order grocery delivery of READY MADE food nobody has to cook, for about three days. I suggest some of your favorite crackers, some medium hardness or spreadable cheese, cherry tomatoes, a rotisserie chicken, apples or grapes, a jar of pickles or a pack of mini cucumbers or bell peppers, almonds or walnuts or pumpkin seeds, and a couple six packs of your favorite nonalcoholic beverages like soda or tea or juice. Gotta stay hydrated to heal.
- Go! To bed!
posted by Mizu at 2:32 PM on July 23 [12 favorites]
Now, some anthropologists argue that sleep is why humans are social animals. Sleep is why we have civilization. Your question reads like you are a lone island, homesteading in the wilderness with no one but yourself and Mefi account to rely upon. That is probably just your current exhaustion speaking. PLEASE do the following things, and then go to BED:
- Contact your grandma and tell her you can’t visit because you are sick and don’t want to infect her or anybody else
- Call in a favor from someone local to come help your dogs and chickens. This could be someone from a church, a school group parent, an actual neighbor, a previous pet sitter, a younger friend of grandma’s, an old coworker, someone your husband thinks of, a local mefite if you want to share your location, etc.
- Order grocery delivery of READY MADE food nobody has to cook, for about three days. I suggest some of your favorite crackers, some medium hardness or spreadable cheese, cherry tomatoes, a rotisserie chicken, apples or grapes, a jar of pickles or a pack of mini cucumbers or bell peppers, almonds or walnuts or pumpkin seeds, and a couple six packs of your favorite nonalcoholic beverages like soda or tea or juice. Gotta stay hydrated to heal.
- Go! To bed!
posted by Mizu at 2:32 PM on July 23 [12 favorites]
Oh good god. Do the absolute bare minimum right now. DO NOT VISIT GRANDMA WHILE SICK. Do not exercise all the pets or amuse all the pets--they can handle themselves for a few days. Call for takeout. You can' t do all this stuff right now!
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:52 PM on July 23 [7 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:52 PM on July 23 [7 favorites]
Rest isn't a practice of doing nothing. Rest is letting your body's pit crew do its work so you can function well when you get up. You can limp along surprisingly far without rest, just like you can drive your car with a flat tire or burning oil. But rest is a crucial part of the human functioning cycle--you do stuff that stresses your body, depletes your resources, and incurs some damage (going about your daily life just uses your body in a variety of ways), and then you need to let your body repair itself periodically. That's rest.
posted by theotherdurassister at 3:05 PM on July 23 [6 favorites]
posted by theotherdurassister at 3:05 PM on July 23 [6 favorites]
Best answer: Rest is literally the act of doing nothing. It is by definition NOT doing an activity.
Meanwhile, I'm feeling really bad. My whole body hurts, I often feel shivery or tingly, and I'm extremely congested. I have a sore throat and a permanent headache despite Ibuprofen. Last night, my nose was so congested I couldn't breathe properly (or fall asleep) until six a.m. I'm nodding off again now. I feel feverish
You are sick. You desperately need to rest. I understand, from what you wrote, that you have responsibilities; but you will be unable to fulfill those responsibilities if you grind your own body into dust in order to serve other people/animals.
I think it might help me to understand why my body needs so much rest right now.
Because you've overtaxed it to the point, again, of making yourself ill. Others have given you the same advice I would, here - now is the time to call in favors from friends. Get a friend to take care of the dogs. Get a friend to cook you three days' worth of meals (even if that's just, like, four gallons of soup and a bunch of sandwiches, or, like, cheese and crackers and deli meats even. Just...basics.). Other than that, just lie there with your husband, and both of you just rest. You both need it.
I just want to sleep.
You've earned it. Sleep. A lot.
And I'm impatient with myself because it's been years since I've been as productive as I want to be
You gotta give yourself some grace here. Your description sounds like you do A LOT, and right now, you need to be doing a lot LESS. At the risk of sounding flippant, productivity is overrated - particularly when it results in you feeling like you feel today. PLEASE take better care of yourself; you really need to listen to what your body is telling you right now, because what it's telling you is "Hey! I've had enough, I need a break". Do not fight through this.
posted by pdb at 3:46 PM on July 23 [4 favorites]
Meanwhile, I'm feeling really bad. My whole body hurts, I often feel shivery or tingly, and I'm extremely congested. I have a sore throat and a permanent headache despite Ibuprofen. Last night, my nose was so congested I couldn't breathe properly (or fall asleep) until six a.m. I'm nodding off again now. I feel feverish
You are sick. You desperately need to rest. I understand, from what you wrote, that you have responsibilities; but you will be unable to fulfill those responsibilities if you grind your own body into dust in order to serve other people/animals.
I think it might help me to understand why my body needs so much rest right now.
Because you've overtaxed it to the point, again, of making yourself ill. Others have given you the same advice I would, here - now is the time to call in favors from friends. Get a friend to take care of the dogs. Get a friend to cook you three days' worth of meals (even if that's just, like, four gallons of soup and a bunch of sandwiches, or, like, cheese and crackers and deli meats even. Just...basics.). Other than that, just lie there with your husband, and both of you just rest. You both need it.
I just want to sleep.
You've earned it. Sleep. A lot.
And I'm impatient with myself because it's been years since I've been as productive as I want to be
You gotta give yourself some grace here. Your description sounds like you do A LOT, and right now, you need to be doing a lot LESS. At the risk of sounding flippant, productivity is overrated - particularly when it results in you feeling like you feel today. PLEASE take better care of yourself; you really need to listen to what your body is telling you right now, because what it's telling you is "Hey! I've had enough, I need a break". Do not fight through this.
posted by pdb at 3:46 PM on July 23 [4 favorites]
Best answer: On a cellular level,
I'm actually quite busy
You may have learned in high school biology that the "mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell." The analogy is overused because it's true!
Imagine your local power station that runs at 95% capacity at any given time. Hell, maybe 100% capacity, because in our current capitalist dystopia, unused capacity is wasted capacity. Then a strain comes on the system -- remember the freeze in Texas a couple of years ago? The one that overloaded the power grid infrastructure and left millions without power?
That's what happens in your body when you get sick. Your mitochondria are on overdrive, churning out as much ATP as they can under suboptimal conditions. Something gonna give. In Texas, a few hundred people died.
It may be worth (when you're feeling better!) interrogating why its so hard to let go of tasks. For me, it's conscientiousness + immigrant work ethic. Unfortunately, I didn't learn my lesson about the importance of rest until I bent so far that I broke. Don't be me.
posted by basalganglia at 3:50 PM on July 23 [5 favorites]
I'm actually quite busy
You may have learned in high school biology that the "mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell." The analogy is overused because it's true!
Imagine your local power station that runs at 95% capacity at any given time. Hell, maybe 100% capacity, because in our current capitalist dystopia, unused capacity is wasted capacity. Then a strain comes on the system -- remember the freeze in Texas a couple of years ago? The one that overloaded the power grid infrastructure and left millions without power?
That's what happens in your body when you get sick. Your mitochondria are on overdrive, churning out as much ATP as they can under suboptimal conditions. Something gonna give. In Texas, a few hundred people died.
It may be worth (when you're feeling better!) interrogating why its so hard to let go of tasks. For me, it's conscientiousness + immigrant work ethic. Unfortunately, I didn't learn my lesson about the importance of rest until I bent so far that I broke. Don't be me.
posted by basalganglia at 3:50 PM on July 23 [5 favorites]
Best answer: Think of your body like a bank where energy is the currency. When you're sick, you want to be depositing as much energy into that bank as possible by doing the bare minimum, sleeping a lot, relaxing, etc. That energy gives your body, and specifically your immune system, the resources it needs to fight off illness. When you don't rest enough while sick, you are making withdrawals from the energy bank until you're in overdraft, and you are gonna have to pay off that overdraft, one way or another, and chances are you won't like how it happens: you might end up with secondary infection (ear infection after cold, pneumonia, etc), or you might just have turned a 3-5 day cold into a two-week one.
Also, you say you feel achy and feverish. I'm guessing that means you do in fact have a fever. Please take your temperature! Personally, I have always treated a fever, particularly one over 100F, as my body saying, "yeah, no, we are not in 'pushing through' territory. Time to become one with the couch and/or bed for the foreseeable future." Because you can push through some congestion and a sore throat, or a mild cold. A fever means listening to your body and just resting. You'll only feel worse and worse otherwise, and quite frankly, your brain's not at its best at high temperatures.
And please test for COVID! I'm just getting over it, and basically all those symptoms sound exactly like mine. I tested negative at first, when I just had a sore throat and some sniffles, but tested positive a couple days later, by which time I had a mild fever and awful sore throat/sinus congestion. I rested up and took Paxlovid, and the worst of my symptoms passed after a couple days, and now I'm back to work feeling fine with just an occasional cough to show for it. I'd probably still be sick if I hadn't rested.
Re getting enough sleep specifically: if you're so congested you can't sleep, it is time for one of the heavy-duty OTC nasal sprays like Afrin. Sleep is the most important thing, so load up on meds to ensure it happens. I always use nasal spray at night when I have a cold with congestion, and not during the day; that way I can eke out 4-5 nights of using it before instituting a hard stop to avoid rebound congestion. (Which is no joke, btw. Really and seriously try to only use the nasal spray for 3-5 days tops.)
Now is the time to do the absolute bare minimum and call in favors/pay for whatever help you can in the form of getting prepared food, hiring dog walkers, etc. At the very least, try fighting your brain's inclination to feel down about this by telling it that resting and staying at home are the ways you are keeping others safe and helping them. Even if you don't have COVID, you're doing everyone you don't come into contact with a solid by not exposing them to this.
posted by yasaman at 3:57 PM on July 23 [4 favorites]
Also, you say you feel achy and feverish. I'm guessing that means you do in fact have a fever. Please take your temperature! Personally, I have always treated a fever, particularly one over 100F, as my body saying, "yeah, no, we are not in 'pushing through' territory. Time to become one with the couch and/or bed for the foreseeable future." Because you can push through some congestion and a sore throat, or a mild cold. A fever means listening to your body and just resting. You'll only feel worse and worse otherwise, and quite frankly, your brain's not at its best at high temperatures.
And please test for COVID! I'm just getting over it, and basically all those symptoms sound exactly like mine. I tested negative at first, when I just had a sore throat and some sniffles, but tested positive a couple days later, by which time I had a mild fever and awful sore throat/sinus congestion. I rested up and took Paxlovid, and the worst of my symptoms passed after a couple days, and now I'm back to work feeling fine with just an occasional cough to show for it. I'd probably still be sick if I hadn't rested.
Re getting enough sleep specifically: if you're so congested you can't sleep, it is time for one of the heavy-duty OTC nasal sprays like Afrin. Sleep is the most important thing, so load up on meds to ensure it happens. I always use nasal spray at night when I have a cold with congestion, and not during the day; that way I can eke out 4-5 nights of using it before instituting a hard stop to avoid rebound congestion. (Which is no joke, btw. Really and seriously try to only use the nasal spray for 3-5 days tops.)
Now is the time to do the absolute bare minimum and call in favors/pay for whatever help you can in the form of getting prepared food, hiring dog walkers, etc. At the very least, try fighting your brain's inclination to feel down about this by telling it that resting and staying at home are the ways you are keeping others safe and helping them. Even if you don't have COVID, you're doing everyone you don't come into contact with a solid by not exposing them to this.
posted by yasaman at 3:57 PM on July 23 [4 favorites]
Best answer: To answer your question about what rest actually, physically does, you need to know what stress does too.
You have two aspects to your nervous system, the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic nervous system.
When you experience stress, the sympathetic nervous system activates. This prepares your body for action. Hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood your bloodstream. They make it possible for you to run, react fast, fight, ignore pain.
Blood is diverted away from your digestive system, digestion slows or stops. Cortisol is corrosive to your stomach lining and long term high exposure can damage it and cause gastritis. Long term, you will be absorbing fewer nutrients from your food.
Parasympathetic nervous system is activated when the danger or stress trigger is gone. It allows you to relax, sleep, and digest properly.
Hormones like serotonin and oxytocin are released, that allow you to feel good, bond with other living beings more easily.
Your sleep quality improves, allowing your brain to do all the housekeeping and sorting it can only do when you are in deep sleep.
Some first aid techniques for how to activate the parasympathetic nervous system:
Do box breathing: slow, deep breath in, hold for a bit, slow deep breath out, hold for a bit.
Look at something far away, like the clouds, or the horizon, for at least 20 seconds.
Do a quick grounding exercise where you stop what you are doing for a moment and ask, what can I hear right now? Where are my hands, what are they sensing ? Where are my feet, what are they sensing?
Yawn, hum, or sing.
Do something enjoyable (to you) and repetitive like walking, knitting, drumming.
Splash cold water on your face, or put a cold wet cloth on your neck.
Do a few minutes of progressive muscle relaxation
Above all, be aware of your self talk and try to be compassionate and kind to yourself.
posted by Zumbador at 10:08 PM on July 23 [6 favorites]
You have two aspects to your nervous system, the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic nervous system.
When you experience stress, the sympathetic nervous system activates. This prepares your body for action. Hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood your bloodstream. They make it possible for you to run, react fast, fight, ignore pain.
Blood is diverted away from your digestive system, digestion slows or stops. Cortisol is corrosive to your stomach lining and long term high exposure can damage it and cause gastritis. Long term, you will be absorbing fewer nutrients from your food.
Parasympathetic nervous system is activated when the danger or stress trigger is gone. It allows you to relax, sleep, and digest properly.
Hormones like serotonin and oxytocin are released, that allow you to feel good, bond with other living beings more easily.
Your sleep quality improves, allowing your brain to do all the housekeeping and sorting it can only do when you are in deep sleep.
Some first aid techniques for how to activate the parasympathetic nervous system:
Do box breathing: slow, deep breath in, hold for a bit, slow deep breath out, hold for a bit.
Look at something far away, like the clouds, or the horizon, for at least 20 seconds.
Do a quick grounding exercise where you stop what you are doing for a moment and ask, what can I hear right now? Where are my hands, what are they sensing ? Where are my feet, what are they sensing?
Yawn, hum, or sing.
Do something enjoyable (to you) and repetitive like walking, knitting, drumming.
Splash cold water on your face, or put a cold wet cloth on your neck.
Do a few minutes of progressive muscle relaxation
Above all, be aware of your self talk and try to be compassionate and kind to yourself.
posted by Zumbador at 10:08 PM on July 23 [6 favorites]
I used to go to work when I was sick all the time. I did that until a boss pulled me aside and laid it out in quite clear terms: if I'm sick and at work, I'm more likely to be sick longer than if I took the time off to recover and the cumulative loss of productivity is equal to, or worse than, just taking a day or two full days to recover.
For example let's say I'm "not that sick" and I'm at 80% capacity for a week.
5 days at work @ 20% loss of productivity = a cumulative 100% loss of productivity for the week
1 day sick at home @ 100% loss of productivity = 100% loss of productivity for the week
So if I just took one day off and focused on the recovery, the overall loss of productivity would be the same, only with reduced risk to others and for extending the illness (and that's assuming I was actually operating at 80% capacity).
Now obviously, there's plenty to pick apart in the maths and how illnesses operate, but it helped me frame rest as a net benefit not just to me, but to my workplace and colleagues. They benefit more from me feeling at my 100%.
Also, more recently, I've been getting into exercise and weightlifting. Do you know the number one advice that universally is agreed upon and applies to anyone looking to maximise both strength and muscle growth? Sleep. Good quality and plenty of it. It's when your body effectively builds the muscle growth that you've been stimulating while awake. Pushing harder and not resting actively hinders progress and there's nothing you can do while awake that compensates in equal measure to just getting good sleep.
posted by slimepuppy at 1:01 AM on July 24 [1 favorite]
For example let's say I'm "not that sick" and I'm at 80% capacity for a week.
5 days at work @ 20% loss of productivity = a cumulative 100% loss of productivity for the week
1 day sick at home @ 100% loss of productivity = 100% loss of productivity for the week
So if I just took one day off and focused on the recovery, the overall loss of productivity would be the same, only with reduced risk to others and for extending the illness (and that's assuming I was actually operating at 80% capacity).
Now obviously, there's plenty to pick apart in the maths and how illnesses operate, but it helped me frame rest as a net benefit not just to me, but to my workplace and colleagues. They benefit more from me feeling at my 100%.
Also, more recently, I've been getting into exercise and weightlifting. Do you know the number one advice that universally is agreed upon and applies to anyone looking to maximise both strength and muscle growth? Sleep. Good quality and plenty of it. It's when your body effectively builds the muscle growth that you've been stimulating while awake. Pushing harder and not resting actively hinders progress and there's nothing you can do while awake that compensates in equal measure to just getting good sleep.
posted by slimepuppy at 1:01 AM on July 24 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Your body has a finite set of resources that you use to function. Your immune system on good normal days is only taking up a modest percentage of those resources.
When you need your immune system to do more work, it needs more resources. It will not get them if you don't free them up. Without the full resources required, it will at best only do partial work, which in itself can create future problems because a recurring cycle of partial recovery + setback + partial re-recover + setback can do damage that prevents ever reaching full recovery.
Your brain and body are programmed differently. They're not in conflict because one of them is right and one is wrong, they are both doing their jobs. But only one of those entities is actually concerned with your long-term physical wellbeing. Brains are...really not good at that part.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:56 AM on July 24 [2 favorites]
When you need your immune system to do more work, it needs more resources. It will not get them if you don't free them up. Without the full resources required, it will at best only do partial work, which in itself can create future problems because a recurring cycle of partial recovery + setback + partial re-recover + setback can do damage that prevents ever reaching full recovery.
Your brain and body are programmed differently. They're not in conflict because one of them is right and one is wrong, they are both doing their jobs. But only one of those entities is actually concerned with your long-term physical wellbeing. Brains are...really not good at that part.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:56 AM on July 24 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Some excerpts from the book "Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle"
And at its most extreme, sleep deprivation is a form of torture. You can quite literally die of sleep deprivation-by physiological deprivation akin to starvation. When researchers deprive rats of sleep for two weeks, the rats' immune systems become so impaired their blood becomes infected with their own gut bacteria and they die of septicemia.
"When you are broken, go to bed," goes the French proverb. You are not complete without sleep. And what are the costs of inadequate sleep? Inadequate sleep damages your physical health: chronic sleep deprivation -short sleep and disturbed sleep-is a causal factor in 20 percent of serious car accidents,and in every common cause of death, including heart disease, cancer, diabetes, hypertension, Alzheimer's, and immune dysfunction, increasing risk by up to 45 percent. Poor sleep is a better predictor of developing type 2 diabetes than lack of physical activity...
Judging your need for rest is a slow leak that drains the effectiveness of the rest you get...
It’s true that rest makes us more productive, ultimately, and if that’s an argument that helps you persuade your boss to give you more flexibility, awesome. But we think rest matters not because it makes you more productive, but because it makes you happier and healthier, less grumpy, and more creative. We think rest matters because you matter. You are not here to be “productive.” You are here to be you, to engage with your Something Larger, to move through the world with confidence and joy. And to do that, you require rest.
...We are not built to persist incessantly, but to oscillate from effort to rest and back again. On average we need to spend 42 percent of our time—ten hours a day—on rest. If we don’t take the time to rest, then our bodies will revolt and force us to take the time.
...Suppose you send your ten-year-old child away to camp and you learn they aren’t feeding her adequately because they’re sure she can “get by” on less.
Suppose you leave your dog with a pet-sitter and learn they’re having your dog sleep outside in the cold because he can “get by” in that weather.
Suppose your best friend starts wearing a tight-laced corset everywhere, so that she physically can’t take a full breath and is constantly slightly oxygen-deprived, gasping as she climbs a single flight of stairs, but she can “get by” with that much oxygen.
Your child, your dog, and your friend can all “get by” with less than the optimal levels of every basic bodily need. So can you. But the way you react to your hungry child, your shivering dog, and your gasping friend is how we feel about you “getting by” with too little rest. It’s not just that we believe you deserve more; it’s that we know you’re suffering, and we want to bring you relief.
posted by Saucy Possum at 10:07 AM on July 25 [2 favorites]
And at its most extreme, sleep deprivation is a form of torture. You can quite literally die of sleep deprivation-by physiological deprivation akin to starvation. When researchers deprive rats of sleep for two weeks, the rats' immune systems become so impaired their blood becomes infected with their own gut bacteria and they die of septicemia.
"When you are broken, go to bed," goes the French proverb. You are not complete without sleep. And what are the costs of inadequate sleep? Inadequate sleep damages your physical health: chronic sleep deprivation -short sleep and disturbed sleep-is a causal factor in 20 percent of serious car accidents,and in every common cause of death, including heart disease, cancer, diabetes, hypertension, Alzheimer's, and immune dysfunction, increasing risk by up to 45 percent. Poor sleep is a better predictor of developing type 2 diabetes than lack of physical activity...
Judging your need for rest is a slow leak that drains the effectiveness of the rest you get...
It’s true that rest makes us more productive, ultimately, and if that’s an argument that helps you persuade your boss to give you more flexibility, awesome. But we think rest matters not because it makes you more productive, but because it makes you happier and healthier, less grumpy, and more creative. We think rest matters because you matter. You are not here to be “productive.” You are here to be you, to engage with your Something Larger, to move through the world with confidence and joy. And to do that, you require rest.
...We are not built to persist incessantly, but to oscillate from effort to rest and back again. On average we need to spend 42 percent of our time—ten hours a day—on rest. If we don’t take the time to rest, then our bodies will revolt and force us to take the time.
...Suppose you send your ten-year-old child away to camp and you learn they aren’t feeding her adequately because they’re sure she can “get by” on less.
Suppose you leave your dog with a pet-sitter and learn they’re having your dog sleep outside in the cold because he can “get by” in that weather.
Suppose your best friend starts wearing a tight-laced corset everywhere, so that she physically can’t take a full breath and is constantly slightly oxygen-deprived, gasping as she climbs a single flight of stairs, but she can “get by” with that much oxygen.
Your child, your dog, and your friend can all “get by” with less than the optimal levels of every basic bodily need. So can you. But the way you react to your hungry child, your shivering dog, and your gasping friend is how we feel about you “getting by” with too little rest. It’s not just that we believe you deserve more; it’s that we know you’re suffering, and we want to bring you relief.
posted by Saucy Possum at 10:07 AM on July 25 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: I think I'm learning I need more therapy. The amount of care displayed in this thread is mind-blowing to me. Thank you so much, honestly. You're so kind, and I needed that. I marked as "Best Answer" the responses that laid out the things I most needed to hear, but I'm grateful for every single answer.
To me, I think resting has always been an indulgence unless you literally can't stand up. That's not to say I work all the time, not at all. I just always feel guilty when I'm not either productive, or completely exhausted from being productive. Anyway, it makes much more sense to consider the perspective of finite energy and/or the moral necessity of treating living beings with compassion. I wouldn't expect anyone else to power through, but I have a deeply ingrained idea that I can't trust myself to know when I need rest because I'm lazy or whiny or something.
I ended up placing an unhinged grocery order, a cross between "teenager home alone" and "much-loved toddler". I've been eating meals consisting mostly of crackers, apples, cheese, grapes, lemonade, cherry tomatoes, and cookies. Sometimes just ice cream for dinner, and that was very soothing when I still had a fever (my temperature is now normal again). Having easy food and some special treats made a big difference. @Mizu, thanks for the shopping list, and @Hardcheese, thanks for the "guidelines". You're right, I needed things like that spelled out.
I spent the last two days in bed (except for brief dog walks and feeding/wound care of all the animals). I took many naps. I still feel sick, but nowhere near as bad. Just a cough and some exhaustion left now.
To those who mentioned I might have more than a cold: Yes, totally possible. I tested negative for Covid today and yesterday, but when I had Covid before, I also tested negative until several days into the illness. I definitely wouldn't be visiting my grandma with any Covid symptoms, don't worry. And I appreciate the reminder that with Covid in particular, pushing through can turn a relatively short illness into long-term problems.
Again, thank you. Many of your responses really moved me, and once I'd given myself permission to rest, I started feeling better quickly.
posted by toucan at 7:21 AM on July 28 [7 favorites]
To me, I think resting has always been an indulgence unless you literally can't stand up. That's not to say I work all the time, not at all. I just always feel guilty when I'm not either productive, or completely exhausted from being productive. Anyway, it makes much more sense to consider the perspective of finite energy and/or the moral necessity of treating living beings with compassion. I wouldn't expect anyone else to power through, but I have a deeply ingrained idea that I can't trust myself to know when I need rest because I'm lazy or whiny or something.
I ended up placing an unhinged grocery order, a cross between "teenager home alone" and "much-loved toddler". I've been eating meals consisting mostly of crackers, apples, cheese, grapes, lemonade, cherry tomatoes, and cookies. Sometimes just ice cream for dinner, and that was very soothing when I still had a fever (my temperature is now normal again). Having easy food and some special treats made a big difference. @Mizu, thanks for the shopping list, and @Hardcheese, thanks for the "guidelines". You're right, I needed things like that spelled out.
I spent the last two days in bed (except for brief dog walks and feeding/wound care of all the animals). I took many naps. I still feel sick, but nowhere near as bad. Just a cough and some exhaustion left now.
To those who mentioned I might have more than a cold: Yes, totally possible. I tested negative for Covid today and yesterday, but when I had Covid before, I also tested negative until several days into the illness. I definitely wouldn't be visiting my grandma with any Covid symptoms, don't worry. And I appreciate the reminder that with Covid in particular, pushing through can turn a relatively short illness into long-term problems.
Again, thank you. Many of your responses really moved me, and once I'd given myself permission to rest, I started feeling better quickly.
posted by toucan at 7:21 AM on July 28 [7 favorites]
Best answer: once I'd given myself permission to rest, I started feeling better quickly
Funny how that works, hey.
posted by flabdablet at 8:52 AM on July 29 [1 favorite]
Funny how that works, hey.
posted by flabdablet at 8:52 AM on July 29 [1 favorite]
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posted by jonathanhughes at 12:57 PM on July 23 [9 favorites]