Ok, is *this* worth a long commute?

May 24, 2024 9:30 AM

While I'm trying to step into my own decision making skills, I would love some more thoughts on a job offer + the same long commute situation.

So I did follow the meta advice of continuing on with the interviews! And unfortunately, the more I interviewed, the more I became interested in the position and team. I was hoping I'd be like "Nah, this isn't it" and not pursue it anymore but...here I am.

I have updated and more solidified facts now! Right now, I've interviewed with 3 jobs, one being the Long Commute (Job X.) I also interviewed with Job Y, which was hybrid, 2 days in office, and a job that I got SUCH a bad vibe from, but wanted to know what they would offer me. They offered me a low-ball offer (HR said "We offer everyone the bottom of the range first!" as if he was trying to mitigate my disappointment.) However, for hybrid, I started to consider--but I think Job Y is out of the running.

I am still interviewing with Job Z, which is fully remote. However, no offer from them of course so I'm going to pretend they don't exist for now.

As for Job X -- here's what I know.
They offered me the highest salary in my history! If I wanted to go up for a federal job in the future (my hope) it would help with my future negotiations. While I will be in the HCOL of the DMV, it still would help my salary history. I'm going to try and negotiate for a little bit more, but honestly, I think I could make it work even with commute costs making it a bit tight. Considering the COL and commute costs, it breaks even, but it has growth potential. It's also on a very government grade schedule, so if the department has funding, I will have a schedule for raises each year (which I have literally never worked anywhere with enough funding for raises!) I will be giving up my freelancing business, but honestly, I'm ok with that for now. I'm tired. I can always pick them back up in a couple of years if I want to do that. Or do it on the weekends if I really need money.

There is no negotiating for hybrid. The job duties really do require you to be in person. However, during certain holidays where our team would be working, I get to WFH. So that's 2 weeks out of the year. There are more holidays and annual leave than typical -- 16 holidays, 27 days annual leave. My current remote job offers unlimited PTO though.

For commute, I have resigned myself to being the partner with the long commute. We looked at Tenleytown as a possible middle as suggested, but my partner is STRESSED at the thought of commuting further than 20 minutes. He hates driving. While I am quite tolerant of it. We considered living in VA and he commuting up but that was awful to consider for him. So I can sacrifice there. My partner really likes his new job so I don't see us moving farther away from his job in the future unless they grant him more remote days.

I'd likely consider us living in Silver Spring or Bethesda, which I Google Map'd and it would be 30 minutes in the morning, 45 min to 1.5 hour (maybe 2 hour if there's an accident) in the afternoon. I did confirm that I could flex my daily hours to work earlier or later, but there is truly no good time to commute back in the afternoon unless it was 7pm. And work ends at 5:30pm at the latest. This is the part I'm most nervous about burning out over.

I'd also have to try and stay 5 years to have the pension plan vested, which seems worth it. So... now I'm considering if I can do this job for 5 years (or is that too future oriented...?)

I am really excited about the job, just really nervous I might be making a mistake because it's in person and commuting. I have spent too much time on reddit, but every time I'm on there, it's like "10 ways you might be an idiot" and 1 and 2 are "Leave a remote job" and "consider commuting for 1 hour." So I'm feeling extra self-conscious.

Is there anything else I should consider in my decision making? Is this a sound decision to try this job? tia!

posted by socky bottoms to Work & Money (15 answers total)

Is there anything else I should consider in my decision making?

Is there any way at all to bring public transportation into the mix, either for you or your partner?

there is truly no good time to commute back in the afternoon unless it was 7pm

Any chance it would work out to spend some time in the general vicinity of your job after the workday is done, for example to go to the gym, take care of groceries, do some group activity or class, or spend some time unwinding?

I'd also have to try and stay 5 years to have the pension plan vested, which seems worth it. So... now I'm considering if I can do this job for 5 years (or is that too future oriented...?)

Would the job still be worth it if the pension plan never vested?
posted by trig at 9:44 AM on May 24 [6 favorites]

I am of the opinion that given the opportunity, it makes sense to take a job with a big salary bump, even in the face of a few downsides. The reasoning for this is simple: hiring managers are more comfortable paying you in line with what you have already been paid in the past.

If someone gives you the chance to level up, take it, and if it's terrible, you can leave in 15-24 months and take the new salary level with you as an expectation other hiring managers will feel more amenable to meeting.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:12 AM on May 24 [7 favorites]

You say you don't mind driving, but don't underestimate the time suck aspect of it, too. Even if the driving itself doesn't stress you out, losing that much time each day can be really frustrating and stressful. So I like trig's idea of doing some of your other evening adulting in the area of the office to delay the commute! Because a 45-minute commute home feels very different than a 2-hour commute home or even a 1.5-hour commute home. Plus if you go to the gym or do the grocery shopping or whatever, you'll also have accomplished the thing, so when you get home you'll be able to be Done and not worry about another thing. (Maybe that's just me?)

I also think trig's question, would the job be worth it even without the potential of the pension plan, is very wise.

And DOT is also absolutely correct that this salary bump will change all your future negotiations and decisions, so that's not something to take lightly.
posted by librarina at 10:21 AM on May 24 [4 favorites]

A few states have made it illegal for potential employers to ask about prior salaries (not sure if yours is one of them, but thought I'd mention in case it is and potential future salaries at other jobs would play into your decision a lot).
posted by Eyelash at 10:38 AM on May 24

I've worked a couple places where I wanted to optimize my commute which meant going to the gym across the street after work, or a run in a park or running errands I could do locally, etc. It was fine but it also meant I didn't get home until after 7, which is different than getting home after 8 imo. Sometimes it meant I ate dinner before I came home. I didn't mind the commute assuming I did it post rush hour, it was time to listen to music, decompress from work. At that time in our lives my partner didn't seem to mind we didn't have kids or very many other obligations. It would be a lot harder now, there's a lot of family stuff that happens in the early evenings. It's worth really thinking about what your lifestyle might look like and whether you and your partner are ok with that for now.

It also might be that after you've been at the job for a while you figure out what days you can get home a little earlier and what days are better to stay later at, and once you've est. yourself there might be informal ways of helping improve the commute. At a different job I worked with someone who got to work at 7:30 and left at 3:30 so he could be home for dinner, various people had scheduled they had worked out but we all were effectively in the office 9-5/6ish.
posted by snowymorninblues at 10:52 AM on May 24 [2 favorites]

Seconding public transportation. It will make this not only less onerous (you can work or decompress while commuting) but a lot safer and more environmentally friendly. Is there anywhere you can live within acceptable commuting distance for your partner that's a straight shot via train?
posted by metasarah at 11:08 AM on May 24 [1 favorite]

As a local, there is something particularly soul sucking about DMW traffic. It makes it worse when there is no other option, for example the bridge that bottlenecks MD and VA. So if you do take the job, I would suggest you ask again about the best spot to locate to with details in mind. For my partner and I, we compromised significantly on our house location- it mattered to me that I would miss out on seeing them for 2 hours a day because they’re in traffic.

Have you talked with your immediate supervisor? I would imagine they’d have the greatest say on your schedule and workload, and it might be worth getting their take on it. Sometimes I leave early and finish admin work or listen to a last meeting on the train.

Is this a federal job? I couldn’t tell. If it is, you can still move around agencies and retain your time for the pension and competitive status.
posted by inevitability at 11:21 AM on May 24 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thank you all so far!

So to add clarity to some questions, there is a possibility that my partner could find a public transport option, but I couldn’t because Job X requires me to be at different sites on each day (and there is no good direct option there.) but maybe my partner would be willing to live closer to job site if he had a straight shot public transport option!

I didn’t think of the option of finding things to do after work and then commuting later! I was thinking of asking to leave at 3:30pm, getting me home between 4:15-5:30pm on a bad day. But if I left at 3:30, I could take a workout class, and maybe do work on my freelance things at the library, then come home later around 6/7? Or push back my leaving time to 5pm. Hmm. I will think of some options…

And yes, very good question about being ok with leaving without vesting! I need to think about that more.
posted by socky bottoms at 11:24 AM on May 24

Response by poster: It is not a federal job, but a county job. But it has that same pay structure that’s quite strict like the feds. My hope is to be at the feds one day, and I know that my current salary may be a factor in negotiating for a future fed job -_-

My supervisor has given me flexibility to choose an 8 hour work day between 7-5:30pm. As far as commute, it seems everyone but one person has a long commute, because they live farther out due to COL. Everyone has warned me about MD/VA and advised against it, but it is significantly more expensive on the VA side!
posted by socky bottoms at 11:27 AM on May 24

If you're open to it, you might also ask about working 10 hours a day/4 days a week with a three day weekend or 9 hours a day with a Friday off every other week. That's a fairly common arrangement and the longer hours might mean you miss traffic and then get an extra day off to be at home, do chores and have more downtime on the weekend.
posted by brookeb at 1:29 PM on May 24 [4 favorites]

As much as possible here in Atlanta, I work 7-4, and the shift definitely helps. When I have to leave after 5, it makes me so miserable and often doubles my commute.
posted by hydropsyche at 1:42 PM on May 24

So, you commute from home to the office and from there to different work sites? Is it possible for you to use pubic transport to get to the office (or a convenient central location) and then take your car that you’ve stashed in a rented monthly parking space to go to office or work sites?
posted by TWinbrook8 at 2:25 PM on May 24 [3 favorites]

It sounds like you want to take it. So I would. The 30 minute commute in the morning is fine, and 45 minutes in the afternoon would also be fine. It's trying to time it so you've got the best chance of avoiding 1.5 hrs in the afternoon. Is your supervisor happy for you to try out different commuting schedules at the start so that you can figure out what works best in practice?

My experience is that people with really terrible commutes often end up moving jobs after about 2-3 year to something saner. If that wouldn't be a disaster then I think you're ok.
posted by plonkee at 3:17 AM on May 25

Going to a local gym/get groceries or whatever it may be would fill an hr+ to get you close enough to 7pm to avoid the long commute reliably. I’d not attempt combining that with the 7am start time because you then have to fill 3-4 hrs after work. If you are a part time student who also works, that’s great because you now have a reliable study window built into your days. Otherwise it would be faster to just accept the longer drive home because it will still get you home faster and with more personal time to spend than waiting.

If you are working at different sites, be prepared for some locations to make for a longer commute than others. It’s not about distance but how traffic builds up around certain junctions etc.

Personally, doing some of this by car and the rest by public transport would drive me insane. It would add extra stress about making specific connections and having to deal with lots of people etc.
posted by koahiatamadl at 3:48 AM on May 25 [1 favorite]

I would also clarify if you need your own car for work. If this is a government job, they should have a motor pool and you can take transit to work and then use a county vehicle to go to job sites. That's frankly better. If they're making you use your own car, then clarify how they will reimburse you for mileage.
posted by brookeb at 10:08 AM on May 25