Bedbugs - only one partner has them

April 17, 2024 4:43 AM

My spouse and I are traveling and staying in a few different lodgings. I have developed symptoms of bedbug bites, starting 3 or 4 days ago. He hasn't developed any symptoms.

We've been together the whole 3-4 days, sharing a bed, sharing a car, and we are generally huggy types so we have had lots of opportunities for him to be exposed to me and my clothes.

I also occasionally get hives when traveling and I do have them now.
Also, I am itchy but antihistamines make a big difference.

The hives are all over my body. They are generally pale (I am White). Then there are areas of my body that have red bumps or possibly bites and raised welts. Some are linear and one or maybe two are zigzag, which is a bedbug trademark. Most are on my ankles and lower legs, with one area near my shoulder.

I could also very well have been exposed to fleas; in fact I would be pretty surprised if this wasn't the case given my playing with an exuberant large dog that spends a lot of time outdoors.

Additionally, I do sometimes get hives when traveling, and I am almost positive I have gotten linear welts before.

So in the "pro-bedbug" column, we have zig zags. And in the "no bedbug" column we have a close human being who has not developed any symptoms over the past 3 or 4 days.

Thoughts?

posted by happy_cat to Health & Fitness (17 answers total)

Best answer: Only some people have reactions to bedbug bites. It's common for one partner in a couple to have physical reactions to bedbugs while the other person is also being bitten but not noticing it.

If I were you, I would be taking all of the precautions you'd take if you knew you had bed bugs. (Examine your sheets and the corners of your bed and mattress very closely for eggs and blood spots; when you return home, quarantine and heat-treat your clothes; notify hotel personnel; etc.)
posted by Jeanne at 5:06 AM on April 17 [14 favorites]

Best answer: Could be bedbugs but may not be. Could have been the fleas, or you were allergic to detergent used on the sheets or a soap you used. It's not really possible to ID bedbugs from the bite alone.

It's pretty normal for people to react differently to bed bug bites. Some people don't react at all.

Bed bugs don't live on your body like lice or scabies, you can't "get" them in the same way. They live in an indoor environment and bite you when you are there and then go back to where they live (often the bedframe or similar areas). But you definitely can move them around in your suitcases or on other belongings. You definitely don't want to bring them home, if it was in fact bed bugs.

Since it sounds like you've stayed in a few different places, you can't really examine them all for signs of bed bugs and know for sure. So if you're not home yet, I'd treat everything you took on the trip as suspect. Leave everything in the car until you've washed and dried on high heat, inspect any suitcases and other belongings that can't be treated that way *very* carefully. Really focus on the nooks and crannies of your belongings.
posted by ambulanceambiance at 5:07 AM on April 17 [3 favorites]

We were also traveling when only one of my children was covered in what looked like bed bug bites. I was talked off the ledge by an exterminator friend who said that with that many bites, there would be an obvious presence of bedbugs. There would be stains on the sheets and likely bugs crawling on the bed. Look up bed bug infestations. They're not invisible. A couple of rogue bedbugs wouldn't cause bites all over your body.

It's more likely a reaction to something else in your environment or maybe hives from a recent viral infection.
posted by defreckled at 5:32 AM on April 17

I had this happen when I traveled in Asia a long time ago. My friend got a ton of bites, we decided they weren't bed bugs, she left the hotel for other travels, I stayed. I was then covered in bites. Pulled back the sheets and found the tell tale signs of bed bugs. Agree with ambulanceambiance about what to do with your luggage. Though if you are traveling internationally, the airplanes generally spray for bugs.
posted by momochan at 6:22 AM on April 17 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Unfortunately they don't seem to target both halves of a couple equally, plus some people just aren't allergic to their saliva. My friend had bedbugs - confirmed by the exterminators - and she had lots of itchy red bites - yet her husband sleeping in the same bed every night never had a single visible or itchy bite.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 6:51 AM on April 17 [1 favorite]

Best answer: As others have said, look up the signs of bedbug infestation and inspect your current lodgings, and take precautions with your luggage when you get home. OTOH don't let the horror stories online freak you out too much - lots of other things cause itchy bumps. I worked myself into a really bad state thinking I had bedbugs last fall after I started getting random red bumps, but nothing ever came of it and the bumps went away on their own. Enjoy the rest of your travels.
posted by nanny's striped stocking at 7:00 AM on April 17

Best answer: It would be very strange to have bedbug bites all over your body. If you truly have hives/welts/bites all over your body, it's very unlikely to be bedbugs.

You can't really diagnose bedbugs without looking at, well, the bed. Do you see blood? Droppings? They look a little bit like pepper. Lift up the mattress and/or boxspring. Check the entire thing.
posted by rhymedirective at 7:12 AM on April 17

Best answer: It's definitely possible for people to not react to bedbug bites — this was the case for an ex of mine. It turned out that she had bedbugs at her apartment (later confirmed by an exterminator), but I was the only one who ever had bites.
posted by mekily at 7:32 AM on April 17

We got bed bugs at one point a while back, with lots of visual confirmation of their presence. My SO got bit quite a lot, but there was never any evidence of them on my skin, despite sharing the bed every night.

I will say, it wasn't that hard to find them around the place once we knew they were resident, so if you're not seeing any then it may be something else.
posted by biffa at 8:06 AM on April 17

+1 not everyone has reactions to bedbug bites (I am one of them). Do as others recommend: look for bedbugs, and act as though you have them.
posted by jessica fletcher did it at 9:24 AM on April 17

It sounds like you're not sure it's bedbugs, right? In addition to taking bedbug precautions, I wonder if you should consider that it might be scabies. It sounds gross, but it's comparatively very easy to deal with.
posted by MangoNews at 12:24 PM on April 17

Best answer: Bites around ankles and lower legs suggest fleas. Have you been sockless, or maybe wearing thin tights or stockings while your partner has worn socks? Fleas can bite in patterns.
posted by mareli at 12:25 PM on April 17 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Mark Rober's Bedbugs -- What you've been told about Bedbugs is Totally False is not without merit. Encase your mattress, wash and dry your laundry on hot, etc. Also what was used by Seattle Housing was lots and lots of cedar oil. It kills them and they hate the smell. Hence the use of cedar chests to store clothes and bedding.

See also Bedbug trap -- The Williams Method When you sleep, you raise the CO2 levels in the room. All the various bedbug traps take advantage of that in various forms to lure the bedbugs into containers they cannot escape. YouTube is loaded with variations on this theme.

Also, remember, those little fuckers can go without feeding for 300 days. They can hibernate in cracks in the flooring or walls for that long waiting something warm blooded to fall asleep.

So whenever or wherever you go on vacation and stay in a motel, hotel or Airbnb, always pull back the covers and flip up the mattress when you get in the room. If you see sprinkles of tiny black dots that look like fine pepper, that's bedbug shit. Get the Hell out of there a.s.a.p.

But remember to take pictures so as to have something to hold over them if anyone tries refusing to give you a refund.
posted by y2karl at 2:43 PM on April 17 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I had them in my apartment and my partner never developed signs. Some people just don't react.

I would act as if you've been exposed to them and take precautions. Get some giant ziplock bags before you go home and put everything in them -- your clothes, shoes, luggage. Everything should be heat treated or treated with some kind of anti-bedbug poison (talk to an exterminator if you're using poison; heat treating can be done both in the dryer and with an object called a Packtite). If the car is yours, you can vacuum and steam clean, then park the car in a hot sunny spot and leave it there for hours (ideally reaching temps over 120 F).

I know that probably seems like a lot, but if you bring them home you may have to treat your whole house, which is a LOT a lot. y2karl's advice about checking mattresses while on the road is a good one. Sorry this is happening to you!
posted by hungrytiger at 3:16 PM on April 17

Best answer: Agree that the location of the bites suggest fleas: "Most are on my ankles and lower legs."

Some people have a much more pronounced reaction to flea bites. I lived in a flea infested apartment for a summer and scratched up my ankles and legs in a frenzy while my roommate was not impacted.
posted by spamandkimchi at 4:34 PM on April 17

Anecdotal story: when my husband and I were dating and lived separately, I had red itchy bumps all over me after staying at his house and he had none. I asked if his cat had fleas, but she was an indoor cat (who only went on the patio). I had no pets at the time. Since he had no bites and the cat seemed fine, I was convinced I had bed bugs or scabies.

Turns out his neighbor (whom he shared a balcony with, separated by a low wall) had a dog that got fleas. Those fleas got at his cat (and me!) over the balcony. He (and his cat) never had a reaction so it took a long time to notice.

So you could have just been nommed by fleas.
posted by pazazygeek at 5:55 PM on April 17

I agree with spamandkimchi: and mareli: Fleas are anklebiters. They'll jump off to the ground or grass off their wild mammal hosts and then back on your ankles when you walk by. And they can jump up to a yard. Bedbugs like hot and sweaty moist and tend to head your groin and armpits when they get on you. I remember going into a tenant's apartment when I worked for Seattle Housing -- he pointed out a couple crawling on his kitchen walls and I beamed out of their in a nanosecond. I then bought a pump spray bottle, filled it with cedar oil at work and misted my shoes, socks and pant cuffs before going to work. It pissed some coworkers but they weren’t going into tenants' rooms -- I was.
posted by y2karl at 6:47 PM on April 18