Gifts and gift etiquette for kids I've never met?!

March 20, 2024 3:52 AM

Help me figure out what to take with me to a function for young relatives I haven't met before

I'm going to a family function this summer, and will be seeing an estranged family member there with whom I'm building (slowly) a relationship with. I don't want to ask them for ideas because I would like this to be a nice surprise, and I don't want them to feel obligated to return the favour, particularly as they will be travelling a long way to get there.

They have a 7yo, and I believe a partner with three teenagers (13-17ish I think).

Firstly, it would be best to get gifts for all of the kids right?

And secondly, I only have tiny kids - can anyone give me suggestions of a foolproof gift to get for kids these ages?

A complication is that we do not speak the same first language, otherwise I might have gone for books.

This means a lot to me because it will be the first time my kids meet these cousins, and I want them to know that that is special to us.

Thank you to any and all!

posted by greenish to Shopping (23 answers total)

Best answer: Board games! There are plenty that are not reliant on English alone or come in other languages and work well with different age groups. I'd get two that the 7 year old can also play and two that are more teen-oriented, and wrap 'em all up as a group gift rather than per-child.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 4:23 AM on March 20 [5 favorites]

Legos
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 4:55 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]

Teenagers love gift cards. That may be difficult if you are crossing borders to attend this event or they are, but teenagers really love gift cards. Choosing their own stuff and using for it themselves is usually way better to them than getting random stuff that is never exactly what is cool.

Otherwise, food from wherever you are from that they might not get where they are. Snacks and candy.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:34 AM on March 20 [4 favorites]

Otherwise, food from wherever you are from that they might not get where they are. Snacks and candy

I think unique/weird/delicious local stuff definitely has the potential to make people happy. In general, probably not anything too big or heavy if they'll have to travel home with it.

What kind of function is this - is it something where you'll be able to spend lots of time together and do activities together, or is it shorter and with less opportunities to get to know each other?
posted by trig at 5:48 AM on March 20 [4 favorites]

Please not candy. As a parent, I hate it when people give my kids candy without asking me first.
posted by number9dream at 5:50 AM on March 20 [5 favorites]

Depending on where you are from and where they are coming from, the older children might like local specialties. If you are from New York or LA or somewhere with any kind of brand recognition or a famous sports team, T-shirts and caps and other local things are very popular with visitors from outside the US, for instance. There are toddler versions of this kind of thing too.
posted by BibiRose at 6:15 AM on March 20 [2 favorites]

Potato chips/crisps! A lot of countries have distinct flavors that for some reason are not made elsewhere. Find the most specialized flavor that you can (prawn, masala, ketchup, Old Bay, pickle etc.). The bonus is that if you ever visit again you can bring the same thing but the next time it’ll have a following.
posted by donut_princess at 6:26 AM on March 20

Squirt guns. Water balloons.
posted by emelenjr at 7:28 AM on March 20

Recently I became of star grand-uncle by sending a bunch of snap bracelets to the little kids. They loved them and are screaming for more!
The older ones I give jig-saw puzzles.
posted by james33 at 7:36 AM on March 20 [2 favorites]

Best answer: I've had good luck giving special/fancy blank notebooks and appropriate writing utensils (colored pencils or crayons for young kids, gel pens or fineline felt-tips for teens). Bonus stickers or other fun embellishments also go over well.
posted by picopebbles at 7:50 AM on March 20 [3 favorites]

If you go with gift cards for the teenagers, I'd suggest you do so for the youngest one as well. First because they'll wonder why they've been treated differently, and second because in my experience a child who can be taken into a Dollar Store and told that they can buy TWENTY THINGS (or whatever) of WHATEVER THEY WANT will be freakin' ecstatic.
posted by bac at 7:57 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]

I have had good luck with baseball caps and tee shirts from my local area.
posted by rhonzo at 8:03 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]

Best answer: The trick with cash/gift cards is that while this would absolutely be the route the kids would like the best, it will also be the route the kids will register in the most absent way/barely register at all.

It may or may not matter to you if you give a kid $50 and then meet him again six months later and he has no idea who you are, or at best dimly recalls you but cannot remember where that $50 went, but that's often how it goes.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:15 AM on March 20 [8 favorites]

I don't want to ask them for ideas because I would like this to be a nice surprise, and I don't want them to feel obligated to return the favour

One thing you could do is be all "hey, so what are the kids like, what stuff are they into these days, are they looking forward to the trip?" as a general thing, to learn a little bit about them before you meet. Might be a bit tricky to keep it subtle enough, but also might yield some useful ideas.
posted by trig at 9:25 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]

totally agree with Tshirts and/or baseball caps.
posted by vunder at 9:30 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]

One idea in terms of format is to present a gift basket of sorts, with a smattering of items that may appeal to one kid more the others, or may work for all of them (like a jigsaw puzzle). Might take off some pressure to get the "right" gift for all of them.
posted by coffeecat at 9:32 AM on March 20 [4 favorites]

Best answer: I agree with everyone who is saying give a few gifts bundled together so everyone can take/use what they want. A board game, a puzzle, some food treats, maybe a physical toy like a Frisbee. When I've done stuff like that, I've included a set of juggling balls, a bag of exotically flavored jelly beans, nice water bottles....
posted by silverstatue at 10:46 AM on March 20

Response by poster: These are all really helpful, and I've maba-ed the ones I intend to use.

I think gift cards would be better if I knew the kids a little bit - I do agree that kids really enjoy them. But I'm hoping for something that will stick with them a bit longer, and DirtyOldTown's comment really crystallised that feeling for me.

I love the idea of a board game if I can find one that works (I have a comrade I can consult about that) and beautiful pens and notebooks. And I think the answer will be to get those and throw them together in a basket with some local treats. Thank you!

An honourable mention to all the sports memorabilia folks, but that is unfortunately not applicable to me as I don't live in a city or the USA. The nearest we get to that here is flat caps and waxed jackets.
posted by greenish at 1:11 PM on March 20 [1 favorite]

Tumple is an excellent board game for all ages, requires no reading, and easily played over and over
posted by Enid Lareg at 1:37 PM on March 20

Wirecutter has list of best gifts for kids target specifically for each age up to 10 and then tweens and teens as well as family baskets. That page shows the links in a fairly random order but you can search for the age group that you want. they also have this list of gifts for the whole family.
posted by metahawk at 4:26 PM on March 20

DoDeLiDo is a card game that works really well for teens and young adults - and the seven-year-old can absolutely play, too. It's a game of speed, focus, and some luck. The idea is to find similarities between three cards, and there's extra rules that make this very fun. For example, you have to say "Ummm" when there's a tortoise on one of the cards. But hesitation or filler noises at other times will result in penalties. And when you see a crocodile, you better smack it quickly!

Weaker players can be accommodated by just quietly not being as strict about rules like that.
posted by toucan at 1:55 AM on March 21

This has been a huge win for kids in that age range, and adults too.
posted by papergirl at 9:14 AM on March 21

A game that has continuously captivated the kids in my life (8-11) is Quirkle. Not exactly a board game, it's better. I enjoy it, too, and am delighted to play it instead of, for example, monopoly.
posted by citygirl at 7:07 PM on March 21