What do Americans mean when they say someone is "classy" or "pure class"

March 10, 2024 1:08 PM

It seems to be a compliment, something about good manners or something ... but what do people (mainly Americans) really mean when they say this?
posted by wutangclan to Human Relations (21 answers total)

You know the thing Michelle Obama said, when they go low, we go high? That's pure class. It's a choice for good behavior, kind and moral behavior, especially in situations when you're not being given that yourself.

Please note as well that many Americans might react to, say, a news story of a Florida man with a face tattoo who armed-robs a liquor store and waits to hold the door open for another patron as he's fleeing, also as "pure class."
posted by phunniemee at 1:18 PM on March 10 [11 favorites]

First of all, important to note that this is often used sarcastically/ironically.

When used literally, it carries connotations of "elegant, refined, expensive, but not ostentatious," but also often "generous, exercises noblesse oblige." If you're rich and getting married, it's classy to discreetly ensure your friends of lesser means don't have to spend a lot to attend. It's classy to invite your ex and his new girlfriend to the party that you're throwing for a close mutual friend and act completely unbothered the whole time. In victory, it's classy to acknowledge the skills of the loser. That kind of thing. You have some kind of resources and you act right about it.
posted by praemunire at 1:19 PM on March 10 [23 favorites]

(If I were to pick a single example in recent literature to exemplify this usage, it would be the protagonist of A Gentleman in Moscow. I question the verisimilitude of that depiction, but Rostov oozes "classiness.")
posted by praemunire at 1:21 PM on March 10 [2 favorites]

Yeah this is a deeply classist term, obvs.. but it also generally is used when someone rises above surrounding pettiness, or maintains composure, grace, or style especially amid other behaviors. It can also be straightforward - a tastefully decorated and expensive restaurant can be called 'classy' (whereas an ostentatious expensive restaurant is 'not classy'). But it is often deployed sarcastically: "Stay classy" to the person making a big, ugly scene or doing something that is positioned as non-upper class behavior such as wearing your pajamas into the grocery store.
posted by latkes at 1:35 PM on March 10 [3 favorites]

Oh, yeah, this is an interesting usage that has nuances the dictionary doesn't help with. Because when it's used sincerely, it isn't just courteousness, it's a certain element of refinement. Graciousness. Not overly formal, though, because overly formal is stuffy, not classy. It's having manners and polish, but with ease.
posted by EvaDestruction at 1:36 PM on March 10 [5 favorites]

Yeah. it is about how one carries oneself- someone with class does not brag about their accomplishments or wealth or skill. They move easily and confidently through social situations, and do the right thing without expecting to be lauded for it. They are not small minded, bigoted, greedy, or cruel, and they're good at making small talk and making others feel comfortable and heard.
posted by vrakatar at 1:38 PM on March 10 [12 favorites]

Best answer: Classy covers a lot.

Behavior - good manners, not overly ostentatious, doesn't hog/need the limelight.
Treatment of Others - thinks about others' needs, treats people respectfully and kindly, no matter their background.
Taste or Design - good sense of style, usually a bit more understated, classic.

There's an undercurrent of WASPiness (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) as the paragon of "class", with WASPs at one point in mid 20th century American history seen as the cultural norm and something to aspire too, but that association has faded somewhat.
posted by brookeb at 1:46 PM on March 10 [6 favorites]

These days this is almost always used sarcastically.
posted by slidell at 2:02 PM on March 10 [4 favorites]

When it's a straightforward compliment, I think it carries an implication that you're willing to put others first, at least in small matters, without making a lot of fuss about it, and that you don't make a big fuss out of small issues or small wrongs. It's not classy to demand to talk to the manager over some petty bullshit, for instance. Underneath, of course, this is about noblesse oblige - you never need to make a big fuss because overall your life is pretty nice. But I do think there's a contemporary meaning that basically it's not classy to be entitled in your day to day interactions and this is separate from wealth.
posted by Frowner at 2:07 PM on March 10 [4 favorites]

It's the opposite of tacky in appearance or manner. (Unless it's sarcastic or spelled "klassy", in which case it's roughly a synonym.)
posted by wintersweet at 2:23 PM on March 10 [3 favorites]

(Putting this in brackets because you ask about American usage in title, but widen it slightly in the below the fold-

From a UK perspective it conveys great manners, great style, but without pretension. The sort of behaviour that could be exhibited by a self-aware upper-class person with no need to show off, but equally by an attractive peer who is confident enough in their skin that they can swan about, while making you feel comfortable swimming in their wake.)
posted by Gratishades at 2:56 PM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Best answer: When I hear "pure class," used in an un-ironic way, it's often said by someone who is older than me (I'm 43) and in the context of sports/competition. It would either be describing someone who is a very graceful loser, or who is extremely humble and generous in spite of their own success/win.
posted by leftover_scrabble_rack at 3:43 PM on March 10 [8 favorites]

I'm violating my own principle (read into that what you will) but I've observed that people of class will never comment on class or refer to something as classy.
posted by Depressed Obese Nightmare Man at 4:15 PM on March 10 [11 favorites]

They’d probably say “good show” or “well done”.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 4:33 PM on March 10 [2 favorites]

people of class will never comment on class or refer to something as classy

Reminds me of the fun line: "nothing says class (sarcastically) like saying you have class (sincerely)."

Which maybe doesn't help define it, but it does illustrate both sides of the contranymic usage.
posted by SaltySalticid at 4:47 PM on March 10

Am I right that in older usage, eg perhaps in a Damon Runyon story or something, "classy" as in "a classy dame" does mean rich and upper-class as well as with the manners one expects from old money. Ie it does denote wealth, but a certain kind of wealth.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 5:27 PM on March 10

As was mentioned earlier, using "classy" sincerely is generally a marker for a lower-class (or at least non-urbane) upbringing - it's a shibboleth. (And yes, I suppose pointing that out is classist, but it's in answer to the question.)
posted by Umami Dearest at 7:01 PM on March 10 [3 favorites]

Thinking about the common thread among the various sincere uses of the phrase, I would say it connotes, "Having the opportunity to make life unpleasant for others, but instead choosing to make it pleasant."

Losing a sports event gives you the opportunity to yell at the referee. Pure class is choosing, instead, to praise your opponent.

Having lots of money to spend on a car gives you the chance to drive a noisy sports car at dangerous speeds on public roads. Pure class is choosing to restore a classic roadster with a quiet engine, thereby preserving a beautiful creation for others to enjoy.

The more money you have, the more impact you can have on other people, which is why many of the examples above involve wealth. And there are related phrases -- like "upper class" or "high class" -- that suggest a certain degree of inherent wealth and power. But I mainly see "classy" and "pure class" being used to describe how people choose to use whatever opportunities they have.
posted by yankeefog at 4:05 AM on March 11 [3 favorites]

Reminds me of the fun line: "nothing says class (sarcastically) like saying you have class (sincerely)."

IMO this is kind of wrong. It's like that line in Saving Private Ryan, paraphrased as complaints go in one direction --> upwards. 'classy' people who comment on such things don't share those comments with people who them deem less classy below them.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:05 AM on March 11

When I hear people talk about classy clothes or fashion, in my experience, it usually means that it looks like the person has money (even if they don't).

Classy behavior? I think it's a lack of over the top emotional expression or responding to other people's shows of emotion in a low-key, stoic way.

Fully recognizing how gendered and racialized this term and how it's applied is!

In AAVE, the term "bougie" feels similar and is much more overt about what it's trying to describe.
posted by lizard2590 at 10:50 AM on March 11

I definitely agree with the people above that talking about "classiness" is not something that would regularly happen among people of actual high class status—except in order to put down someone who is trying to aspire to that status, but isn't doing it well/is too much of a striver. "Muffy is so funny. We all love her, but she really didn't grow up like the rest of us and she can't help but show it. It really shows her class background when she corrects people on etiquette and perhaps someone should tell her so." (Excerpt from real conversation, name changed.) (Of course nobody did and nobody ever will tell her so, that's not how this works.)
posted by branca at 11:34 AM on March 11