How to stop relatives from seeing sites I visit while visiting them?
December 2, 2023 10:08 PM   Subscribe

I'll be spending 2 weeks with conservative relatives in February, using their internet as I help them deal with illness, and would like to shield them from seeing the sites I visit while using their wifi on my laptop and phone. Basically, I'd prefer not to reveal the specific accounts I use at some social sites, as the history they find (if they look) will cause friction. What's the easiest way to accomplish this? I am not very device savvy, so would appreciate details.Thanks!

Also, if you've hosted relatives who've used your wifi, what information could you see about where they spent their time online?
posted by anonymous to Computers & Internet (32 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
This might be way too obvious (not tech savvy either), but browse using incognito mode?
posted by thereader at 10:11 PM on December 2, 2023 [3 favorites]


Incognito mode won't help if the threat model is "relative looks at the traffic on their network." Incognito mode just makes it more difficult for someone who has access to your device to view your browsing history later on that device. In this case, OP says they're using their own phone/laptop, so the question seems to be more about what they could learn from logs on the router/ISP/other network infrastructure.

How tech-saavy are your relatives? I'm at least moderately tech savvy and I run a Ubiquiti Dream Machine Pro as a home router, and as the admin I can see pretty detailed usage stats for every device on my network in terms of what domains I'm visiting and what protocols I'm using. I can't see anything more specific than "wow I used a lot of YouTube last week," and I also only see that if I go looking. Even then, so long as you're visiting secure sites (https in the URL and the padlock icon in your browser), the most someone on the router will see is "oh, they went to Facebook," and nothing about what you watched or when you watched. Also, the UDM is a pretty high-end router and most consumer routers have less access to this sort of thing.

If your relative is nontechnical, I feel like the odds they'd think to do this and know how are relatively low, so I'm not sure how much you need to worry about this.

A few mitigation strategies if even this level of exposure bothers you:
1. Buy a one-month subscription to a VPN provider, and use it any time you're connected to their wifi. Overall, VPNs are, I think, vastly oversold, but for this application, they will shield your traffic if used correctly. I use Private Internet Access when using hotel wifi, and for something like this, that (or any of the other big players) should be fine. Note that some people use VPNs to hide abusive behavior so you may find some sites block access to people on VPN, so you may want to try that first and make sure that's ok.
2. Tether to your cellphone 100%. Don't even use their wifi. Depending on your phone plan and data needs this may or may not be feasible, but it entirely eliminates the problem.
posted by Alterscape at 10:20 PM on December 2, 2023 [40 favorites]


A lot of VPNs have trial subscriptions. This should shield your traffic from nosy relatives.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 10:37 PM on December 2, 2023 [9 favorites]


If it is possible/affordable to avoid using their wifi, that is probably your easiest solution. You can even just turn off the wifi connection on your phone.
posted by panhopticon at 11:01 PM on December 2, 2023 [11 favorites]


I’d just use phone data, but that’s effectively infinite for me, and comparable in speed to my home connection.

I have hosted family who have used my wifi. Unless I had set something up in advance, my (consumer-grade) router wouldn’t tell me anything about their browsing. I run my DNS through a PiHole setup, and it would, I think. I’m away now, but I’m fairly sure it would only tell me about ads that it had blocked on sites you had visited (but not the sites, unless they were blocked as malware), and it would tell me the IP address of the client.

How network-savvy are your conservative relatives?
posted by pompomtom at 11:12 PM on December 2, 2023 [4 favorites]


Proton has a free VPN tier. Use Incognito or private mode in the browser. In every browser you can delete the history. In Chrome, go to settings, privacy and security and there is an option to delete history. Also delete cookies. Never save a password on their network.

If you bring your own laptop and use a VPN, that should prevent them from seeing what you are doing.

If you avoid their wifi altogether by either tethering to your cell or sometimes your cable internet provider has free wifi in their area, use that.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 11:15 PM on December 2, 2023 [3 favorites]


Also, if you do not already have an unlimited data plan, it might be worth it to get one for one month. What is your privacy worth to you? Look for unlimited data and hot spot tethering.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 11:20 PM on December 2, 2023 [2 favorites]


I'd be pretty impressed if relatives who are so ill you're visiting them to help out are doing deep packet analysis or something trying to figure out your social media usernames. Not saying it's impossible but I think if they're up to it you probably shouldn't be spending your precious time assisting them. If you're really worried about it get a VPN and/or use mobile data as others have said.

But I think the most likely way they figure out your handles on social media is the usual way, that you leave your phone or laptop unlocked when you leave the room and they see it, or shoulder surf past you while you're on your device. That would be the threat vector I'd focus on. Consider a privacy screen for the laptop.
posted by potrzebie at 12:02 AM on December 3, 2023 [46 favorites]


Yeah, my first reaction is "I have never snooped on what sites my guests are looking at and I don't know who would do that" but it is reasonably possible. Probably it is easier / more reliable / less unpleasant to just use a VPN than to try to develop an accurate threat model for your relatives snooping. Here's reddit's recommendation which long story short: nordvpn or purevpn.
posted by aubilenon at 12:29 AM on December 3, 2023 [2 favorites]


A VPN will keep your activity from showing up in their router logs (aside from the VPN tunnel's existence). But I'm not sure how they'd be seeing the content of your social media activity from anything like that. Unless domain names or URLs alone would be enough.

If they're not going to be using your devices and you're not going to be using theirs (just their network) then your main concern seems unfounded.

Maybe I'm missing something.
posted by snuffleupagus at 5:27 AM on December 3, 2023 [2 favorites]


This might be off, but I know that 20 years ago it was much easier to see people's Web traffic, before everything went more https (encrypted). I wonder if there is any chance you are going by some long-ago experience of being able to go on a router and see every URL?
posted by johngoren at 5:35 AM on December 3, 2023 [3 favorites]


Yeah, these days it's usually only the IP that's visible and which often resolves to some alphabet soup CDN node. Though every so often I'll still see a URL float by in the clear on an older site. I wouldn't expect that from any major social network etc. (except maybe Twitter after another round of firings).

Some consumer routers do have little traffic analysis pie charts, categorizing traffic by site type.

Is this about adult content?
posted by snuffleupagus at 5:40 AM on December 3, 2023


I ask because IP-based "household extension" ad targeting might be a concern there. Along the same lines as surprise gifts being spoiled, pregnancies exposed to problematic family members, etc. A VPN should do for that.
posted by snuffleupagus at 5:50 AM on December 3, 2023 [3 favorites]


A Virtual Private Network (VPN) is the correct tool for the job. It's right in the name.

Think of it as an encrypted tunnel from your device to an endpoint somewhere out there on the Internet. People sniffing locally will only be able to see the existence of the tunnel but will not be able to see anything inside of it, and *all* of your traffic will be inside of it. That includes hostname lookups, website connections, downloads, etc, etc, etc.

There are a lot of VPN providers, and as has been mentioned there are some with free demo periods. It's probably worth setting up before you go as sometimes making sure that your traffic is going through the tunnel can take some time to feel secure about.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 5:56 AM on December 3, 2023


Also, if you've hosted relatives who've used your wifi, what information could you see about where they spent their time online?

It depends on their level of sophistication. Having written networking software for 20 years I would have little trouble getting the Wifi network to reveal the name of every site you visit and with a little more work a comprehensive unencrypted record of every single bit of traffic you generate.

For less sophisticated users who can follow instructions, a rolling record of every site you visit will be available.

Unless of course you use a VPN.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:04 AM on December 3, 2023


I agree with potrzebie's answer above. Two things would have to be true for your relatives to view your browsing history: They would have to be quite tech-savvy (much more so than the average person). And they would have to be curious enough to actively snoop on your surfing habits. I mean, it's not like they could easily just stumble across your history in the course of doing something else. They would need to make a concerted effort to spy on you. Yeah, you could do the VPN route, but that's probably overkill. Just make sure that they can't look over your shoulder when you're visiting your preferred websites.
posted by alex1965 at 7:19 AM on December 3, 2023 [2 favorites]


I'd prefer not to reveal the specific accounts I use at some social sites, as the history they find (if they look) will cause friction.

Assuming you connect to any social site over HTTPS like everybody does, the only way to get a history of what you've actually done with your connection to it is by inspecting the history kept by the browser you did it with. As long as you have a decent passcode on both your phone and laptop and you don't leave either lying around in an unlocked state, your aged relatives will not be in a position to do that.

It's possible for a network operator to monitor which sites you connect to over HTTPS, but all they will ever see going back and forth between your browser and that site, including all the URLs with which your browser requests web pages, is encrypted gibberish. They won't be able to see which accounts you log in with, or which pages within any given social site you visit.

Just turning on DNS over HTTPS in whatever browser you're already using will be enough to stop any network monitoring tool that your relatives are likely to have in place, which will probably be at most some form of "parental control", from figuring out even which sites you're connecting to.

But if you want to guarantee that even which sites you visit can absolutely not be determined at all by analyzing your wifi traffic, and the amount of faffing about required to make a VPN work doesn't appeal to you, just install Tor Browser and use that for the duration.
posted by flabdablet at 7:33 AM on December 3, 2023 [5 favorites]


Having written networking software for 20 years I would have little trouble getting the Wifi network to reveal the name of every site you visit and with a little more work a comprehensive unencrypted record of every single bit of traffic you generate.

Tell Me No Lies might be ever so slightly stretching a point there. Part of "a little more work" in this instance would involve persuading you to ruin your own web browser's security by installing a root certificate that they provide to you, which you would not normally have to do merely in order to use a wifi connection.

If you're not tech savvy then of course you probably can be handwaved into doing that, but some degree of social engineering will be required to get the job done. As far as I know, which is far enough to have kept me safe online for over forty years, breaking the encryption on HTTPS traffic without using a spoofed root certificate is infeasible even for State-level actors.
posted by flabdablet at 7:43 AM on December 3, 2023 [6 favorites]


The assumption is that you are using your own device (phone, laptop, etc). If that’s correct, as others have said, there is not much to worry about. Your relatives won’t have an easy way to notice your browsing habits.

One possible exception is if they have turned on parental controls on their router. If they have that turned on, they might get notified if you visit any sites that don’t meet the standards of the Moms of Liberty. If that’s the case, you could try a VPN.

If you will be browsing the net using their computer, you should use incognito mode, to keep the browser from recording your history. Details will vary from browser to browser and type of computer.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 7:48 AM on December 3, 2023 [1 favorite]


So long as you are using a recent browser, and sites that use secure http (https), they can see generic site names perhaps, but not paths or usernames.

But if you want to be extra careful, pair with a mobile phone to use that internet.
posted by nickggully at 7:59 AM on December 3, 2023


Is this about adult content?

It does us a disservice to speculate. It's nobody's business but theirs why they want privacy, or about what.

Anonymous, the people above mentioning VPN services are correct. I would consider paying for Mullvad or the Mozilla VPN service rather than using a 'free' option; free VPNs are frequently not as private as you might like. But given your described situation - that you're caring for ill people - I think potzrebie's suggestion of getting a privacy screen for the laptop is also a good one.
posted by mhoye at 8:36 AM on December 3, 2023 [6 favorites]


Get a VPN to use while you're there. Or make sure your data plan is unlimited, and use your phone in tethering mode, not connecting to their wireless.

Are they technically competent? With many routers, physical access to the router and/or an unchanged admin password, will allow you to wipe the slate clean. Also, if they have neighbors, rename your laptop %LastNamePC and let them think their neighbors are stealing wifi.
posted by theora55 at 9:41 AM on December 3, 2023


If you don't care that they know which sites you are visiting, but only that they don't know your username specifically, then just make sure the sites you are connecting to use https, not http (which is basically every site at this point) and you'll be fine.

If you don't want them to know which sites you are visiting, then a VPN is your best bet.
posted by ssg at 11:03 AM on December 3, 2023


Tell me no lies: A Virtual Private Network (VPN) is the correct tool for the job. It's right in the name.

For me "virtual private network tunnel" is the full name, and the missing bit explains how your traffic is protected: it's a tunnel that outsiders can't see in.
posted by k3ninho at 2:06 PM on December 3, 2023


Assuming you connect to any social site over HTTPS like everybody does, the only way to get a history of what you've actually done with your connection to it is by inspecting the history kept by the browser you did it with

The name of the site you visited will be temporarily stored on the cable modem however.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 2:14 PM on December 3, 2023


Tell Me No Lies might be ever so slightly stretching a point there.

Fair enough. I was a little overenthusiastic.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 2:19 PM on December 3, 2023 [1 favorite]


Maybe if OP is staying with relations going by Acid and Crash. ;P

(Though I'd agree MITM risks on untrusted wifi are somewhat underestimated.)

Also, I should not have phrased my remarks about household targeting as a question. There are a few other industries I've noticed that favor it. Travel and real estate come to mind.
posted by snuffleupagus at 4:41 PM on December 3, 2023


I think there's some beanplating going on here. The issue is less them monitoring their wifi(and good reasons that isn't very likely/will not give them specific info unless their day job is infosec has been described above)

It's more them trying to snoop on your actual laptop, or phone/tablet/etc. I wouldn't be concerned about using their wifi, i'd be concerned about the physical security of my devices and where they're located. As in, i'd turn off any "only require password after 10 minutes" type functions, turn off things like faceid, and make a point of practicing locking my phone/laptop every single time i set it down or walk away from it before i even started packing to leave. If you're laptop has a function to only require a password after sleep after x amount of time make sure that's off. There's a reason most corporate laptops have these kinds of settings set this way.

This, to me, is a much more likely snooping relative strategy even from my own and my friends life experiences. Almost every story of drama along the lines you describe comes from someone physically touching the actual device, getting "lucky" it's unlocked, and going through it. Many fights have been started in my extended circle because a parent/relative of a grown adult was caught with their phone/laptop in their hands when someone came back from the store, was coming downstairs in the morning, etc.

Make sure everything is set to pin/password unlock only, make sure its set to require that passcode immediately, and that it's set to lock the screen quickly if left unattended and you somehow forget. Like, whatever the shortest setting is, 60 seconds max. Anything you're not using goes back in your suitcase, and stays in the room with you when you're sleeping.

This kind of thing sucks, and i'm sorry you're dealing with it. I would only bother with the above advice about VPNs etc if you're concerned about them even knowing you have a facebook, instagram, etc account. That's the level of info they'll be able to see. If that's a reasonable concern as well, i'd do everything above and the steps others described.

After a long career in IT, i worry about people being able to luck out and get on my actual devices, not snooping my traffic. Besides that being above the average person, everything is encrypted now anyways. The default settings on most devices make pouncing on one when someone walks away really easy though.
posted by emptythought at 4:46 PM on December 3, 2023 [25 favorites]


Another option is a wifi hotspot. It's basically a little portable device that hooks directly to a cell network and sends out a wifi signal. It would work with your laptop or your phone and you wouldn't have to use the house's network.

I have one through work and haven't paid myself, but a quick Google search shows me a device might be about $25 and then a monthly plan $50. You could maybe find some deals.
posted by Leontine at 6:46 PM on December 3, 2023 [1 favorite]


It's likely possible to enable hotspot service on an existing service plan for a month and then turn it back off (if it's not already included). It will be a little more expensive than a VPN for the same time, but definitely more straightforward (especially on phones/tablets).

If you go that route, never join any of your devices to the local wifi. Get all your secondary devices connected to the hotspot device before you leave, and troubleshoot anything essential connecting that way beforehand.
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:06 PM on December 3, 2023 [1 favorite]


(This is the maximally paranoid approach, probably don't need to treat this like attending DEFCON, but if you so choose then might as well go the distance to ensure you're getting what you're bargaining for.)
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:54 PM on December 3, 2023


I just want to cosign emptythought's comment above -- I answered OP's question as written, but I feel like emptythought's answer is probably a more helpful answer for most people for all the same reasons they write.
posted by Alterscape at 10:48 PM on December 3, 2023 [2 favorites]


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