Advice for Thanksgiving with the non-cooks?

November 8, 2023 1:52 PM

My usual Friendsgiving is structured so a bunch of folks who enjoy cooking bring food, and the folks who aren't cooks bring other stuff, like maybe wine, sparkling water, napkins, etc. This year is looking like there will be a lot of us—12-18—but basically everyone who's coming are in the non-cook category. Help.

I am happy to do a lot of the cooking, but I basically can't do it all (tiny kitchen, not mega skilled cook to begin with). I can easily do the turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and maybe one or two other items.

But what are some ways I can have the non-cooks bring stuff and have it make up a festive holiday meal? Store-bought desserts are fine by me. Beverages, sure. But what else?

posted by BlahLaLa to Food & Drink (11 answers total)

just tell them what to buy, all that stuff is available easily, tastily, and ready-to-heat from your local grocery store. There are a million tasty sides for purchase.
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:54 PM on November 8, 2023 [19 favorites]

That's a lot of people, we're talking party numbers. Order catering from someplace fun and split the cost! Bonus: minimize all the hard work for everyone!

Send this per person cost out in an email to everyone with them all BCC'd and add a note at the bottom about inflation being rough and a hard year etc etc, please to let you know privately if you are able to contribute a little more to the cost or need some extra help covering the cost, this is a happy occasion and everyone is meant to be included.

(I've certainly been in positions where I've had to exclude myself from shared meals because of costs, and I'm happy to be in a position now where I'd quietly pay 2x so a friend could come. I just really don't want to cook a dang turkey ever again!)
posted by phunniemee at 2:03 PM on November 8, 2023 [13 favorites]

Nothing wrong with a grocery store dinner!

Salad, dinner rolls, chips and dip, shrimp with cocktail sauce, charcuterie tray, fruit tray, veggie tray with some hummus.

Additionally, a lot of grocery stores have hot bars, so they could pick up pretty much anything, provided stores are open that day. Some suggestions for sides you can get at a hot table: mac and cheese, scalloped potatoes, mashed potatoes, pasta salad.

I'd just make sure to have plenty of serving trays and let them know they can do a quick assemble of their dish at your house, in case they need to unwrap it and thaw it, or quickly heat it up.
posted by spicytunaroll at 2:20 PM on November 8, 2023 [2 favorites]

Snacks and appetizers! A non-cook can easily bring chips and dip, or a big box of reheatable appetizers, or a fruit plate or cheese and crackers, or a selection of olives and pickles.

There is also no rule that Thanksgiving has to be traditional. Once I went to a Thanksgiving that was entirely Indian takeout plus a turkey. It was great! I would personally love to host a taco bar Thanksgiving and let people bring the taco elements, which are generally prepackaged at the store.
posted by blnkfrnk at 2:22 PM on November 8, 2023 [4 favorites]

When my Bunco group did this, you could either bring something or chip in on catering - usually just the standard set from Honeybaked Ham. Which you can even have shipped, if you're not near one for pickup.

But yes, of course, someone can bring Stouffer's Party Size frozen mac and cheese, a frozen family-size lasagna, several people could go in together on a smoked turkey from a local BBQ place, rolls can come from anywhere. And yeah, our big gatherings have always had stuff like a falafel party tray, 20+lb trays of lumpia, vegan pizza, frozen meatballs in a crockpot with grape jelly and Heinz Chili Sauce (I prefer a bottle of Orange Chicken sauce these days), Costco cookies, deli salad. Charcuterie plates are all the rage now and everything you could want is usually in the grocery store adjacent to the deli section.

But it is honestly just really easy to pass the hat, with or without maybe subsidizing a bit as the organizer. If you do the math and present a "recommended" donation with the caveat that nobody but the organizers are going to know who actually paid what, you will almost certainly take in more cash than you need and can maybe grab some extra vegan food (Whole Foods' store brand vegan roast is very tasty, as is the Field Roast not-ham you can find in most stores - note the Quorn roast is only vegetarian not vegan), bag salad, baked goods etc. Anyone who's absolutely wanting to cook can do so in lieu of donations. I honestly couldn't make an entire Thanksgiving dinner for the $120-$220 I'd spend on catering, and this way I won't be a sweaty frazzled mess when the doorbell rings.
posted by Lyn Never at 2:51 PM on November 8, 2023

If people shop on Thanksgiving or the day before, the stores might be out of the more traditional dishes. Plus those are the most crowded days of the years.

I'd mention Stouffer's frozen side dishes as an option. People can buy those in advance.
posted by FencingGal at 2:53 PM on November 8, 2023

I'd put myself in the non-cook category, but a lot of times the non-cooks can still make food, and certainly we can buy it. I'd make a thing of it: "Non-cook Thanksgiving!" etc. Make a sign up sheet and let folks decide what kind of dish they want to make or buy, with absolutely no shame attached to buying. Like, people can buy a tasty pie from the grocery store, and all the sides. You just might have to tell them that?
posted by bluedaisy at 3:12 PM on November 8, 2023 [1 favorite]

The gourmet grocery chain here does big numbers every year with their holiday foods, which you have to preorder and then come get at a specific time. They also usually have the same sides and mains available for grabbing in the deli around thanksgiving and christmas but it’s first come first serve and you can’t pick up a whole turkey or whatever. Chances are very high that you have a similar store that does this near you. Have everyone look at the catalogue or order sheet or however they do it, pick a favorite side dish and dessert or whatever, and order it all in one go. Whoever has a big car and is a good driver gets to pick things up and bring it all, split the cost and ask people who can’t quite cover that to bring drinks or chairs or whatever instead.

If that plan is a bad fit for whatever reason, here are some other ideas:
- Flowers, candles, tiny pumpkins, or other decorations for the table
- a few different cheeses with some fruit preserves and nuts
- pomegranates, which are a delightful mess and so festive
- persimmons which a lot of people have never tried and look so cute on the table
- mulled wine, spiced cider, hot chocolate or aromatic teas
- box mix cornbread which is honestly delicious and if someone can do a box mix cake competently they can do cornbread
- my favorite green thanksgiving side is just peas with sliced mushrooms sautéed in butter, have someone just bring frozen peas and pre-sliced mushrooms to you and you can do it in a pan in about ten minutes before dinner in served
- have people bring serving dishes and silverware that you don’t have room to store at home
- ask people who can’t chip in financially to help with cleanup
- sweet potatoes are dead simple to roast ahead of time whole and then reheat before serving, keeps them out of your oven but all the non-cook has to do is wash, poke with fork, and bake.

If you have never cooked a turkey before, I really recommend ordering a cooked bird ahead of time. It is just so annoying to do in a small kitchen with so many other dishes going, not to mention the fridge storage for thawing beforehand.
posted by Mizu at 3:55 PM on November 8, 2023 [2 favorites]

My last Thanksgiving in LA, I ordered a bunch of sides from Boston Market and picked up a turkey (uncooked but marinated) from Popeyes. I think you have to put in an order in advance for both stores.

But honestly, I think having people bring their fave takeout (Dumplings? Curries?) would be super fun and very easy, especially if people get items from restaurants that are either a) open on Thanksgiving or b) totally fine to buy the day before. Lots of the good Chinese restaurants in the San Gabriel Valley sell frozen dumplings too, so if there's someone who has the willingness to do some pan-frying the day of, they can pick up dumplings well in advance of the holiday.
posted by spamandkimchi at 6:06 PM on November 8, 2023

Especially around the holidays, you can buy stuff. Make the turkey, gravy, & stuffing. Ask people to bring mashed potatoes, vegetable side dishes, pies, whipped cream from the can, etc. Lots of stores have mashed and scalloped potatoes. Frozen Brussells sprouts are easy to roast. Brown some pancetta to add. Roasted asparagus is also easy, fresh trimmed asparagus is available, or roasted butternut squash. Cooked pureed butternut squash is sometimes available, heat. add butter. Or squash soup from Trader Joes. Sweet potatoes are easy to peel, cook, and mash with butter. Canned cranberry jelly is easy. Lots of grocery sides are carbs and too many carbs make everybody lethargic, which must explain the popularity of televised sports.

I love the traditional Thanksgiving meal, but a dinner of takeout would be really great. Just get some people to bring vegetables. Chinese restaurant green beans are vastly superior to the ones with mushroom soup.
posted by theora55 at 7:39 PM on November 8, 2023

Response by poster: So the way it went down was I cooked some + I bought some rotisserie chickens as the meat instead of turkey + I purchased some appetizer items like cheese and olives + the noncooks brought desserts, which were mostly store-bought. We ended up with a lot of dessert! Nobody was complaining. :)
posted by BlahLaLa at 12:35 PM on December 9, 2023