How to order courses, in America, London and Paris?

October 11, 2023 3:43 PM

I realize that traditions may be different from restaurant to restaurant, country to country, so all context welcome.

We don’t go out very often, so when we do we like to draw things out. Usually, this means:

* Aperitif or cocktail (maybe with a small plate / apero)
* Appetizer
* Entrees
* Dessert
* After dinner drink (digestif)
* Coffee

How would you order these things in a “typical” restaurant, assuming it’s the type of restaurant to have all these things listed on the menu (or with a bar that seems capable of doing so)? Would you order aperitif & potential bar snack before making your whole order? Make the entire pre-dessert order, from aperitif to entree, all at once? Expect to get aperitif at a different establishment than the one where you eat dinner? Get aperitif / cocktail from the bar while waiting for a reservation? Etc. (Assuming no direct instruction from the waiter of course.)

Thanks! These are the three places I frequent these days and I still feel awkward, so just seeking some assistance / validation.

posted by stoneandstar to Food & Drink (11 answers total)

Best answer: At a place that serves all these things, in the U.S., they will most commonly take a drink order first, shortly after you are seated. If you arrive at a restaurant with a bar before your reservation time or before the rest of your party arrives, it is not uncommon to order a drink there and then "transfer the tab" to your table when you are seated, but they're not going to turn down your cocktail order at any time. (You could also have a drink beforehand elsewhere before going to a restaurant just for the rest.) Then appetizer and entree ordered together and served in succession. After you've finished the entree, they will offer you the dessert menu, which will usually include desserts, coffee, and any digestif-style liquors available (relatively uncommon but hardly unheard of in American restaurants), and you will order them all at once. Sometimes after you finish dessert they will check in with you again about coffee.

There are no strict rules about this, but I'd say this is most common and you're unlikely to look weird following this flow, unless you're at some highly specialized place, like a high-end sushi counter or an all-you-can-eat hotpot with an ice cream bar.
posted by praemunire at 3:56 PM on October 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

I’d add in that for American dining, unless you are in a nicer establishment you may want to intentionally wait to place a main course order until the appetizers have come out otherwise the main may follow the appetizer too quickly and leave you feeling rushed
posted by raccoon409 at 4:46 PM on October 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

I guess it should also be noted that, depending on the kind of liquor license held, some U.S. restaurants only serve wine, beer, and cider (or no alcohol at all), and not any hard liquor, in which case you'll have to get cocktails elsewhere!
posted by praemunire at 5:17 PM on October 11, 2023

In most US restaurants, I think it would be rude to order the entree separately from the appetizer; it's work to pace everything. Instead, tell the server up front that you are looking forward to a relaxed evening and that you'd appreciate some time between courses. (And if they honor that request, as they should, tip a little extra to account for your occupying the table a little longer than usual.)
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:56 PM on October 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: In the UK, you'd usually get offered a drink very shortly after being seated, that would be your aperitif or cocktail. Shortly afterwards you'd order your starter and main course (by and large we don't say "appetiser" or "entrée"). Once those are eaten you'd be asked if you wanted to order dessert and/or coffee. We're not huge on digestifs, but they'll be listed on the dessert menu and it wouldn't be weird to order just the digestif without a dessert.
posted by alby at 10:53 PM on October 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

Best answer: In France, you don't need to worry about feeling rushed. You can stay as long as you like and they will not bring the bill until you ask for it (fancier places) or go up to pay at the counter (regular places). Confusingly some words are also used in English but mean different things, "la carte" is what is the menu in English and "un menu" is a set series of courses that you order, sometimes you have limited choices for some of them. Typically a menu is entrée + plat + dessert, but there are often options for just entrée + plat or plat + dessert, where entrée is the first course and plat is the main course.

In terms of ordering, when you arrive you would generally order an aperitif. This might be served with a small bowl of nut/crackers or with nothing. Then you would order your entrée and plat, along with wine. After you finish the plat, you would order dessert. Note that the cheese course is between the plat and dessert, but in more regular restaurants this won't necessarily be a separate course like it would be if you were in someone's home, but there might be a cheese option on the dessert menu. Coffee could be served with dessert or after. A nice option is café gourmand, which is a coffee with a small portions of several desserts. You would order the digestif after the dessert/coffee.
posted by orchidee at 1:23 AM on October 12, 2023 [1 favorite]

Expect that a UK host will also find exactly the right time when you've taken a bite and are chewing for a good long time to do the 'status check' where they ask if all is okay with your meal. If you don't raise issues with your food when asked, it's harder to complain later.
posted by k3ninho at 8:34 AM on October 12, 2023

Best answer: many European places I've been to that list savory and sweet courses on the menu expect everything to be ordered at the same time.

in the US I've had too many places try to serve me the main before I've finished eating my appetizer (or bring both at once) and I had to make it clear that I wanted the main kept hot until I was done with my 1st course.
posted by brujita at 9:37 AM on October 12, 2023

In Australia the appetiser is called the entrée (meaning 'introduction') followed by the main course and dessert.

In the UK it's starter, main and pudding (or dessert).
posted by essexjan at 11:13 AM on October 12, 2023 [1 favorite]

Speaking personally (US), I'll do any combination of drink first, drink and app/small plate first, or drink, app, and entree all together. It's just based on how many decisions the table has arrived at by the time the waiter comes by. Pretty frequently we'll sit down and start chatting, then the waiter will come by for our drink order before we've gotten to looking at the menu at all. In that case we'll order water, and by the time they come back we've probably decided on food first. I guess sometimes waiters evince slight surprise I order drinks and food at the same time, but I've never gotten the impression that it's like, déclassé or super weird.
posted by umwelt at 9:45 PM on October 12, 2023

Best answer: I've hardly been anywhere in the UK where it's common to order an aperitif or cocktail first, which might just be the kind of places I go, but still.

They'll usually come to take your drink order first, but this is like the wine (or whatever) that you want to start drinking with your meal. They'll then fetch it while you decide on your food. But I t's not uncommon at this point, if you're ready, to say "We're ready to order food as well", and then go on to order drinks, starter and main course.
posted by fabius at 4:51 AM on October 13, 2023