potential first time dog owner questions
September 7, 2023 10:40 PM Subscribe
I've only ever had cats, so there are some things about dogs I need to learn.
I'm seriously thinking of adopting a small 8-month old dog (mixed breed, looks to have similar features to a pom, long-haired chihuahua, Chin, and/or Pekingese). No major health or behavioral concerns that the shelter is aware of. I live in an apartment alone in a U.S. city.
1. AFAIK, dogs are allowed (on leash) in most outdoor public spaces but not in most indoor shops/restaurants; are there any exceptions to this that I should be aware of? What if the dog was kept in a backpack type carrier, for example, which is something I see with little breeds often - if I wanted to pop into a coffee place or convenience store for a few minutes, is it likely we'd be kicked out? (The dog will be registered as an ESA, which I realize does not entitle us the same type of access, legally, as a trained service dog).
2. How much will I have to worry about larger dogs hurting or scaring my small dog at the park/on the sidewalk? How would I protect him from others?
3. Finally, I currently spend about 85 percent of my time at home (apartment) but I have a circadian sleep disorder, so I go to bed around 4am and wake up around noon. Can a dog be trained to match my schedule (in terms of when he is fed and walked to go potty) or is that unrealistic? How much are dogs aware of day vs nighttime and how does this affect their food/bathroom/exercise needs? If this sleep schedule is incompatible with dog ownership I should know that now!
I'm seriously thinking of adopting a small 8-month old dog (mixed breed, looks to have similar features to a pom, long-haired chihuahua, Chin, and/or Pekingese). No major health or behavioral concerns that the shelter is aware of. I live in an apartment alone in a U.S. city.
1. AFAIK, dogs are allowed (on leash) in most outdoor public spaces but not in most indoor shops/restaurants; are there any exceptions to this that I should be aware of? What if the dog was kept in a backpack type carrier, for example, which is something I see with little breeds often - if I wanted to pop into a coffee place or convenience store for a few minutes, is it likely we'd be kicked out? (The dog will be registered as an ESA, which I realize does not entitle us the same type of access, legally, as a trained service dog).
2. How much will I have to worry about larger dogs hurting or scaring my small dog at the park/on the sidewalk? How would I protect him from others?
3. Finally, I currently spend about 85 percent of my time at home (apartment) but I have a circadian sleep disorder, so I go to bed around 4am and wake up around noon. Can a dog be trained to match my schedule (in terms of when he is fed and walked to go potty) or is that unrealistic? How much are dogs aware of day vs nighttime and how does this affect their food/bathroom/exercise needs? If this sleep schedule is incompatible with dog ownership I should know that now!
Semi-recent (like, a year) first-time dog owner in NYC here:
1. That will vary, at least in NYC it does. I know places that won't allow a dog to enter or be brought in for any reason, in any way, unless it's a service animal (not an ESA), and I know places where people bring dogs in little carriers or bags. And then there are explicitly dog-friendly establishments.
2. You would make sure that your dog is leashed, and in 99% of the cases the other person's dog will also be leashed, and if your dog is scared, it sounds like she is small enough that you could easily pick her up. I pick my beagle up when she is scared, and she is 27 lbs. It might be a bigger issue in off-leash areas, like dog runs -- but most dog runs will have separate fenced off areas for small dogs and big dogs. Also you don't know what your dog's temperament will be like, and maybe she won't be scared of large dogs, so maybe it will be much less of an issue than you imagine. Most large dogs won't want to hurt your dog, and the dogs that do want to hurt other dogs generally have owners that are aware of that and that don't bring them into dog runs, etc. But plenty of large dogs are chill or playful rather than scary and hurtful.
3. A dog can totally adjust to your schedule. Dogs sleep throughout the day in general, and they also fall asleep much faster than humans and wake up much faster than humans. They can snooze on and off far more than you might imagine a dog would sleep, and they don't have strict diurnal/nocturnal sleep cycles in the same way as we humans do.
My dog basically snoozes most of the day unless we are actively doing something (going on a walk, playing, eating). She rotates between her crate, her bed, my bed, my son's bed, the loveseat in the living room, and the couch downstairs -- all her sleeping spots.
I am a night owl and I tend to sleep in, so I take her for a quick last pee of the day at around midnight or 1 am (literally in and out of the house, under a minute), and then she is totally fine till 9. When she was with her foster family, her schedule was different. Her evening walk was much earlier, and her morning walk was at 6.30 or 7 am. She adjusted to my schedule very quickly. I think your dog will adjust to your schedule and that will just be her "normal" -- and she will appreciate you being home a lot!
posted by virve at 11:25 PM on September 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
1. That will vary, at least in NYC it does. I know places that won't allow a dog to enter or be brought in for any reason, in any way, unless it's a service animal (not an ESA), and I know places where people bring dogs in little carriers or bags. And then there are explicitly dog-friendly establishments.
2. You would make sure that your dog is leashed, and in 99% of the cases the other person's dog will also be leashed, and if your dog is scared, it sounds like she is small enough that you could easily pick her up. I pick my beagle up when she is scared, and she is 27 lbs. It might be a bigger issue in off-leash areas, like dog runs -- but most dog runs will have separate fenced off areas for small dogs and big dogs. Also you don't know what your dog's temperament will be like, and maybe she won't be scared of large dogs, so maybe it will be much less of an issue than you imagine. Most large dogs won't want to hurt your dog, and the dogs that do want to hurt other dogs generally have owners that are aware of that and that don't bring them into dog runs, etc. But plenty of large dogs are chill or playful rather than scary and hurtful.
3. A dog can totally adjust to your schedule. Dogs sleep throughout the day in general, and they also fall asleep much faster than humans and wake up much faster than humans. They can snooze on and off far more than you might imagine a dog would sleep, and they don't have strict diurnal/nocturnal sleep cycles in the same way as we humans do.
My dog basically snoozes most of the day unless we are actively doing something (going on a walk, playing, eating). She rotates between her crate, her bed, my bed, my son's bed, the loveseat in the living room, and the couch downstairs -- all her sleeping spots.
I am a night owl and I tend to sleep in, so I take her for a quick last pee of the day at around midnight or 1 am (literally in and out of the house, under a minute), and then she is totally fine till 9. When she was with her foster family, her schedule was different. Her evening walk was much earlier, and her morning walk was at 6.30 or 7 am. She adjusted to my schedule very quickly. I think your dog will adjust to your schedule and that will just be her "normal" -- and she will appreciate you being home a lot!
posted by virve at 11:25 PM on September 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
In most municipalities, pet animals aren't allowed inside food facilities, this likely includes coffee shops and may include convenience stores if they have like a deli counter. Do people sometimes bring their small dog in anyway? Sure, and they likely won't be ejected because food service workers don't want to be yelled at by irate customers.
Dogs fearing other dogs is part temperament and part desensitization, habituation and training. I think obedience training for small dogs is crucial - it exercises their brains and builds your relationship so they trust you and are confident when they are with you. Confident dog = calm dog.
posted by muddgirl at 11:44 PM on September 7, 2023
Dogs fearing other dogs is part temperament and part desensitization, habituation and training. I think obedience training for small dogs is crucial - it exercises their brains and builds your relationship so they trust you and are confident when they are with you. Confident dog = calm dog.
posted by muddgirl at 11:44 PM on September 7, 2023
As a dog owner I highly second obedience training. Anecdotally I find small dog owners are regrettably less likely to do so because they figure it isn't "as necessary." Not only that but there are other types of classes (nosework, agility) which are hella fun and help you and your dog bond.
posted by canine epigram at 1:55 AM on September 8, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by canine epigram at 1:55 AM on September 8, 2023 [6 favorites]
How would I protect him from others?
Great thing about small dogs is you can just pick them up! Spend some time making sure you have a good harness that can safely support & distribute the dog's whole weight if you lift straight up on it. They even make them with handles so you can lift your pup like luggage, if you're into that.
I'm not a big outside person, and my neighborhood is pretty safe for other dogs, so it's only been on very rare occasions I've had to emergency lift my boys out of a situation. Even so, having the ability to safely do it without anyone getting choked is key.
posted by phunniemee at 4:51 AM on September 8, 2023 [2 favorites]
Great thing about small dogs is you can just pick them up! Spend some time making sure you have a good harness that can safely support & distribute the dog's whole weight if you lift straight up on it. They even make them with handles so you can lift your pup like luggage, if you're into that.
I'm not a big outside person, and my neighborhood is pretty safe for other dogs, so it's only been on very rare occasions I've had to emergency lift my boys out of a situation. Even so, having the ability to safely do it without anyone getting choked is key.
posted by phunniemee at 4:51 AM on September 8, 2023 [2 favorites]
Dog training is really helpful not just for the dog but for teaching you what to expect, how to read your dog's signals, and what actually works for dogs vs the alpha idea. A lot of dog body language and signals are easy to read once you're looking for them - you'll be able to see the difference btw a dog that's excited to play and one that's tense and about to assert its space. It was a relief for us too about adjusting expectations for our own behavior.
Dogs have different personalities, as you know, so some will want to play with some other dogs, some just want to hang out with their owner. I used to feel this public pressure to have my dog be friendly to everyone, but he's very anxious and it was like forcing a shy kid to go greet everyone new at the playground.
Dog parks are sometimes divided into small dog and big dog zones. Not all dog owners pay attention to their dogs in them so keep an eye out for yours. You can call out to ppl to get their dog or call their dog.
Positive reinforcement! Positive reinforcement for the win! They respond to being rewarded for what you want them to do. So eg. when we started with our dog when he'd be sitting quietly by the door when there was a loud noise, or doing something we wanted, he got small treat pieces and praise. Vs. giving him treats when he's doing something we don't like - he'll interpret that as "I bark loudly at a noise = treat!" We can redirect him to do something we want him to do to (jump in his bed, so he's away from the door when we open it) instead.
Behavior can also be shaped - you might not get the first whole action you want, but build up to it.
Be prepared for strangers being all kinds of ways around touching your dog. Some ask first, but a lot of people just zoom in for a pet. I've had to learn how to be firmly clear about that even if it goes against social pressure to accommodate everyone.
Are you in a city that has coyotes? Worth looking up safety things around that.
A well exercised dog, a dog that's had enough mental stimulation = a happier, better behaved dog. We bred them to do jobs, after all - they're smart social creatures.
Good luck! dogs are the best. They make life so much better.
posted by Geameade at 4:57 AM on September 8, 2023 [4 favorites]
Dogs have different personalities, as you know, so some will want to play with some other dogs, some just want to hang out with their owner. I used to feel this public pressure to have my dog be friendly to everyone, but he's very anxious and it was like forcing a shy kid to go greet everyone new at the playground.
Dog parks are sometimes divided into small dog and big dog zones. Not all dog owners pay attention to their dogs in them so keep an eye out for yours. You can call out to ppl to get their dog or call their dog.
Positive reinforcement! Positive reinforcement for the win! They respond to being rewarded for what you want them to do. So eg. when we started with our dog when he'd be sitting quietly by the door when there was a loud noise, or doing something we wanted, he got small treat pieces and praise. Vs. giving him treats when he's doing something we don't like - he'll interpret that as "I bark loudly at a noise = treat!" We can redirect him to do something we want him to do to (jump in his bed, so he's away from the door when we open it) instead.
Behavior can also be shaped - you might not get the first whole action you want, but build up to it.
Be prepared for strangers being all kinds of ways around touching your dog. Some ask first, but a lot of people just zoom in for a pet. I've had to learn how to be firmly clear about that even if it goes against social pressure to accommodate everyone.
Are you in a city that has coyotes? Worth looking up safety things around that.
A well exercised dog, a dog that's had enough mental stimulation = a happier, better behaved dog. We bred them to do jobs, after all - they're smart social creatures.
Good luck! dogs are the best. They make life so much better.
posted by Geameade at 4:57 AM on September 8, 2023 [4 favorites]
I can speak to your second point as our trainer has given advice specifically about interacting with other dogs. Dog parks are no good. Most people don’t teach their dogs basic manners, so you risk either traumatising your dog or putting them in a situation to learn these bad behaviours. Her recommendation is to always keep your dog on leash, and if you do want to allow your dog to greet another dog, make sure the other dog is on leash too. You must be very discerning about the kinds of dogs your dog spends time around. For example, dogs who are too exuberant and enthusiastic annoy my dog, but I only started noticing this after a month and a half of having her. It comes with time.
A way to physically protect your pup from off leash dogs running up is to literally use your body as a buffer. What I was taught is to step in front of my dog and then tell the strange dog to GO AWAY in a loud and firm tone, stomping your feet on the ground if necessary.
One final thing that helped us reduce random dog owners approaching us with their dog or weirdos trying to touch my dog without asking is co-opting the Yellow Dog Movement. Our tag just reads I’M SHY. There are many options on Etsy.
I think for a newer dog owner (I only got my first dog this year, too!), remembering that you are your dog’s steward because she can’t tell you what she actually wants/needs really helped us navigate situations like this.
posted by antihistameme at 4:02 PM on September 8, 2023 [4 favorites]
A way to physically protect your pup from off leash dogs running up is to literally use your body as a buffer. What I was taught is to step in front of my dog and then tell the strange dog to GO AWAY in a loud and firm tone, stomping your feet on the ground if necessary.
One final thing that helped us reduce random dog owners approaching us with their dog or weirdos trying to touch my dog without asking is co-opting the Yellow Dog Movement. Our tag just reads I’M SHY. There are many options on Etsy.
I think for a newer dog owner (I only got my first dog this year, too!), remembering that you are your dog’s steward because she can’t tell you what she actually wants/needs really helped us navigate situations like this.
posted by antihistameme at 4:02 PM on September 8, 2023 [4 favorites]
#1 really depends on where I live. People bring dogs of all sizes into small businesses here in Seattle (coffeeshops/small stores, not supermarkets or restaurants) and it seems like that's fine as long as they are well behaved (my dog is not suited to this so I am not speaking from personal experience, just observation). Of course, be prepared to leave if the proprietor asks.
#2 Again, really depends on the dog park and your specific dog. Many have small dog areas. Some, like the one I frequent, has very well-policed norms that keep people from bringing back aggressive dogs. Some do not. Some small dogs are very good at standing up for themselves, some are not. IME, small dogs aren't actually more likely to be picked on - it's usually intact males or young dogs that don't pick up on the normal "leave me alone" dog signals. I would suggest trying out a local dog park a few times with your dog very close to you and see how they do. Observe the other dogs and people as well - are there fights? Are the people watching their dogs or scrolling on their phones? Do people talk to/smile at each other? (The latter is a good sign of a dog park with a community feel, where owners are more likely to take responsibility for their dogs)
#3 Absolutely. This is where consistency is important. Get your dog used to a schedule and they will stick with it. Dogs really adapt to their people in matters like this. It might take a while, though. And it might also make it hard to find a dogsitter, not a lot of people will want to get up in the middle of the night to take your dog out.
posted by lunasol at 4:48 PM on September 8, 2023 [2 favorites]
#2 Again, really depends on the dog park and your specific dog. Many have small dog areas. Some, like the one I frequent, has very well-policed norms that keep people from bringing back aggressive dogs. Some do not. Some small dogs are very good at standing up for themselves, some are not. IME, small dogs aren't actually more likely to be picked on - it's usually intact males or young dogs that don't pick up on the normal "leave me alone" dog signals. I would suggest trying out a local dog park a few times with your dog very close to you and see how they do. Observe the other dogs and people as well - are there fights? Are the people watching their dogs or scrolling on their phones? Do people talk to/smile at each other? (The latter is a good sign of a dog park with a community feel, where owners are more likely to take responsibility for their dogs)
#3 Absolutely. This is where consistency is important. Get your dog used to a schedule and they will stick with it. Dogs really adapt to their people in matters like this. It might take a while, though. And it might also make it hard to find a dogsitter, not a lot of people will want to get up in the middle of the night to take your dog out.
posted by lunasol at 4:48 PM on September 8, 2023 [2 favorites]
In NYC, I've found that most informal places of business don't object to a brief visit with a dog in a carrier bag or backpack, since the main reasons you'd want to ban dogs--messes and scuffles--don't apply when they're in an enclosed carrier. However, restaurants and groceries are usually less forgiving, for understandable reasons. Either way, treat it as a matter of grace. If they ask you to leave, comply politely. If your dog starts barking or whatever other obnoxious behavior is even possible in a carrier, get out of the store.
I am a super-duper night owl and my dog has adjusted. However, before he decided he wasn't going to go to the bathroom outside anymore, it could get a little awkward walking him late at night, just from a safety perspective.
posted by praemunire at 10:33 AM on September 9, 2023 [1 favorite]
I am a super-duper night owl and my dog has adjusted. However, before he decided he wasn't going to go to the bathroom outside anymore, it could get a little awkward walking him late at night, just from a safety perspective.
posted by praemunire at 10:33 AM on September 9, 2023 [1 favorite]
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I live in a city with my little dog. I typically don't bring him inside businesses unless I'm very sure he is welcome (the hardware store has dog treats, and the folks at my neighborhood thrift are always delighted to see him as well), and I do sometimes tie him up outside, which isn't his favorite, but he's fine. People often do bring their dogs into grocery stores and restaurants. Unless it's a restaurant patio specifically welcoming to dogs, I think it's pretty not good to bring your dog into places with food especially. You might not be kicked out, but you'll irritate lots of folks, you know?
How much will I have to worry about larger dogs hurting or scaring my small dog at the park/on the sidewalk? How would I protect him from others?
This depends a lot on how well the dogs are socialized, but this isn't necessarily a thing for dogs. Well-socialized dogs don't perceive size differences as an inherent threat. This would be like asking if a tall person walking down the street is a threat to you. Like, in theory, sure, but someone short with poor social skills could be more of a problem, you know? My little dog plays with lots of big dogs. Sometimes little dogs are less well-socialized, too.
Can a dog be trained to match my schedule (in terms of when he is fed and walked to go potty) or is that unrealistic?
Maybe some dogs would have a problem with this, but my little dog has always been happy to sleep in with me. Will you be comfortable taking your pup outside at 3am for a final before bed bathroom break?
posted by bluedaisy at 11:19 PM on September 7, 2023 [1 favorite]