Teen travel with non-parent adult

August 16, 2023 11:40 AM

My child is traveling domestically with a friend of the family next week. How do I optimize potentially necessary paperwork?

I am requesting that people only answer if either a) they have been in this very situation themselves with their own child or b) if they work for an airline/TSA. Please refrain from answering otherwise. Please assume I have already googled, read the relevant forums, etc. I am now looking for personal experience or input from professionals.

Next week my son, who is 16 (and looks older) is traveling domestically (NY - Ohio) with a friend of the family. My son does not have a passport or any federal or state ID. The only thing he has is his high school ID. He could also bring either the original or the copy of his birth certificate. (Additional possible wrinkle -- his school ID has a bit of a different version of his name than his birth certificate as it was recently hyphenated. So, imagine the birth certificate says John Smith, and the school ID says John Smith-Brown).

I know that in principle he is not required to have ID if he is a minor. I am also happy to write a letter stating he has my permission to travel with the family friend. There does not appear to be a standardized script for such a letter, and there is conflicting information about a) whether or not both parents have to sign such a letter, or if one signatory is sufficient, and b) whether such a letter has to be notarized.

They are flying Delta. In your experience, what does he need to have with him to ensure there is no problem with him getting on the plane.

Thanks in advance!

posted by virve to Travel & Transportation (14 answers total)

In my experience my teens have traveled alone on airlines domestically with no problem at all. They got to the airport and showed their ID and got on the plane. It wouldn't have mattered if a family friend was behind them in line, or if a parent was there. The friend is a red herring. Many teens travel unaccompanied. You probably need to call your airline to make sure their ID is OK.
posted by barnowl at 11:55 AM on August 16, 2023 [2 favorites]

I have been an escort for unaccompanied minors changing planes at O'Hare. I had to take them from one gate to another a long way away. The only ID they had with them was a copy of their birth certificate. This was United. They had no problem with TSA. I would bring their school ID and a copy of the BC. I see no harm in the friend having a notarized letter from you and a photocopy of your ID with them just in case, but I highly doubt it will be necessary.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:02 PM on August 16, 2023 [1 favorite]

Missed the edit window but for other Mefites reading this, my answer was meant for the OP's 16 year old. There are other rules for kids 14 and under ("unaccompanied minor".)
posted by barnowl at 12:04 PM on August 16, 2023

TSA won't even look at the ID, as their rules say that anyone under 18 is not required to have identification. In fact, my 12 year old brings her passport because she is super tall and from behind she's had problems with Customs officials thinking she is an adult (and therefore someone who had just snuck through various security checkpoints without the checkpoint person noticing), but anyone who actually talks to her asks if she's a minor and then tells her she can put her passport away and waves her through.

Airlines can have their own identification requirements, but that certainly won't apply unless it's an international flight. The last time an airline asked for ID was whatever day the Unabomber promised to blow up a plane flying out of LAX (like I was). Since I was 13, I just told the gate person on my connecting flight in in SFO "I'm 13! I don't have an ID!" and they let me on, lol. But that was before TSA, and no one asked for ids back then anyway,

I definitely would get a notarized letter that says whoever is handling your son can authorize medical treatment. You don't want to be in a situation where your kid is in the ER and emergency decisions cannot be made because the adult there does not have the authority to made said decisions.
posted by Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme at 12:41 PM on August 16, 2023

I should add that having your kid carry around ID (or at least getting used to the idea) is a good idea anyway, even outside the airline part. Especially since 16 is getting into realm where "I'm a kid, I'm helpless and don't know what to do" gets less of a helpful response. My 12 year old recently went to the front desk of our hotel and convinced them to give her a new key for our room, because she's 12, why would be she bullshitting? But a 16 year old might need to show some proof the room is his.
posted by Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme at 12:44 PM on August 16, 2023 [6 favorites]

Notarizing letters is completely unnecessary. I routinely sent a toddler across a land border with relatives. Nobody ever asked for or looked for a letter.
posted by shock muppet at 1:20 PM on August 16, 2023 [1 favorite]

My much younger child recently flew domestic with a family friend and needed no documentation whatsoever. Their ticket will indicate they're a child and every airport employee knows they don't need an ID to fly.

It's much more complicated crossing a border but in this case you shouldn't have anything to worry about. I know it's weird given how much shit they put adults through.
posted by potrzebie at 1:43 PM on August 16, 2023

Response by poster: Thank you to everyone who provided the answers within the scope of my question. Some of the answers are now veering beyond what I asked, into more general opinions about "wake up calls" and advice about the value of IDs for children in general. I am posting in my own thread to say that feedback beyond the specific question I asked is not welcome. I am going to flag those comments for moderation, and since as far as I know there is no way to close a thread on AskMetafilter, I will just ask anyone else who would like to contribute to either stick to answering my specific question, or to refrain from answering.
posted by virve at 2:04 PM on August 16, 2023

Best answer: Took my friend’s 16 year old to Florida from California a few years ago. We didn’t even think about documents for travel and we decided if there were an accident or something we would handle it on the fly. No problems.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 2:27 PM on August 16, 2023

Best answer: My kid flew with non parental adults as a part of a school trip at 16. Hid ticket was purchased with his preferred name which does not match his identification (passport, birth certificate). He boarded the plane with no problems without any ID, including out of LaGuardia.
posted by jeoc at 3:55 PM on August 16, 2023

Things are more complex at the international level, but domestic flying remains straightforward for minors. I flew rather frequently as an unaccompanied minor in the 2000s and early 2010s, and currently know minors who have to fly unaccompanied to Hawaii on a regular basis. Nothing has changed since my time.

I would not take a birth certificate or letter or anything else. I WOULD make sure your son carries a wallet that contains a card with his name and emergency contacts. Similarly, make sure he has Emergency Contacts set up on his phone. (This is not related to getting on the plane, but rather to the Murphy's Law of travel: which is that if you are going to get hit by a bus, it will definitely be while on vacation.)

P.S. For some reason, I got lectured as a 12-year-old for not carrying ID while at Dallas Love Field. I never got attitude anywhere else, though I did start toting my school ID around after the encounter. This is like the worst-case outcome in this scenario: a power-tripping TSA agent giving your son a lecture for no particular reason.
posted by desert outpost at 8:30 PM on August 16, 2023 [2 favorites]

Also, if you're worried about the "traveling with unrelated adult" part of the equation, this is also not going to attract comments or problems. These days, everyone knows that families come in all shapes and sizes, and it's likely the family friend will be assumed to be a stepparent or whatever. Not that it's against the rules for children to travel with unrelated adults, I'm just saying.

I do not share a last name (or any names, or even physical features really) with one parent, but this never invited issues or even so much as a remark whenever we flew together in my childhood.
posted by desert outpost at 8:36 PM on August 16, 2023 [1 favorite]

I do not share a last name with my child and routinely travel alone with her domestically. It has never been an issue.
posted by notjustthefish at 1:23 PM on August 17, 2023 [1 favorite]

My 16-year-old daughter flew Delta alone this summer (and last summer) from California to Texas and back for a summer camp. She used her school ID, everything went smoothly.
posted by msittig at 7:23 PM on August 17, 2023