Resources for managing neurodivergent employee
August 15, 2023 2:22 PM Subscribe
I have a employee who is an exceptionally gifted thinker but who struggles with project and time management and has significant challenges around communicating with colleagues - in particular, they do not easily pick up on communication signals from others and have some neurodivergent tendencies in their communications and work style. These challenges are really hindering their working relationships and I'm hoping to find some resources (books, podcasts, etc) that will help me manage this person, their projects, and their communications more effectively.
While our colleagues like this staffer as a person, they don't like to work on projects with them and are now trying to work around them. This person doesn't have an interest in leaving our organization, and I don't want that either. They have a lot of specialized knowledge that is helpful here, they produce great work products (we're in IT and database management), and they are a lovely and thoughtful person, but I would love to find some resources like books or podcasts that might give me some new ideas.
I don't like to armchair diagnose, but this staffer has a lot of traits that I saw in people with autism spectrum disorder when I worked in education. I had a lot of resources for working with ASD in youth populations, but not many translate to adults in a workplace setting. In particular, I'd like to find more ideas for project or time management systems we could try to implement (we've tried a few that haven't stuck), or ideas for coaching neurodivergent employees on communication skills.
As an aside, I'm also attempting to add an additional team member who could pick up some of the communication-heavy projects, which would allow this person to focus on more back-end data work, which is their preference. That is in progress, but may be a ways off, and either way I'd like to find better tools to meet them where they're at and manage and communicate effectively with them. I'd welcome any resources you've used and found helpful!
While our colleagues like this staffer as a person, they don't like to work on projects with them and are now trying to work around them. This person doesn't have an interest in leaving our organization, and I don't want that either. They have a lot of specialized knowledge that is helpful here, they produce great work products (we're in IT and database management), and they are a lovely and thoughtful person, but I would love to find some resources like books or podcasts that might give me some new ideas.
I don't like to armchair diagnose, but this staffer has a lot of traits that I saw in people with autism spectrum disorder when I worked in education. I had a lot of resources for working with ASD in youth populations, but not many translate to adults in a workplace setting. In particular, I'd like to find more ideas for project or time management systems we could try to implement (we've tried a few that haven't stuck), or ideas for coaching neurodivergent employees on communication skills.
As an aside, I'm also attempting to add an additional team member who could pick up some of the communication-heavy projects, which would allow this person to focus on more back-end data work, which is their preference. That is in progress, but may be a ways off, and either way I'd like to find better tools to meet them where they're at and manage and communicate effectively with them. I'd welcome any resources you've used and found helpful!
Probably do not buy them that book without having a much, much closer relationship, and definitely not as their boss. If I hadn't disclosed anything to my boss, it would be an absolutely wild way for them to start a performance discussion with me.
posted by sagc at 2:42 PM on August 15, 2023 [19 favorites]
posted by sagc at 2:42 PM on August 15, 2023 [19 favorites]
Best answer: Yeah, you can get ideas from those books but only talk about behaviors, not diagnoses.
What I would want as an Autistic person would be to increase the clarity of what is expected of me, reduce ambiguity, reduce multitasking, keep communication to written channels (bug reports/JIRA tickets), and reduce any phone calls or interruptions. Ability to work from home or otherwise control the sensory environment is very helpful.
Both Ask a Manager and Neurodivergent Rebel have resources you can look at. NR is Lyric Rivera and they have written an e-book called Workplace Neurodiversity Rising. Also check out the Job Accommodation Network.
posted by matildaben at 2:49 PM on August 15, 2023 [11 favorites]
What I would want as an Autistic person would be to increase the clarity of what is expected of me, reduce ambiguity, reduce multitasking, keep communication to written channels (bug reports/JIRA tickets), and reduce any phone calls or interruptions. Ability to work from home or otherwise control the sensory environment is very helpful.
Both Ask a Manager and Neurodivergent Rebel have resources you can look at. NR is Lyric Rivera and they have written an e-book called Workplace Neurodiversity Rising. Also check out the Job Accommodation Network.
posted by matildaben at 2:49 PM on August 15, 2023 [11 favorites]
Best answer: NO. You are on the wrong track here and at risk of putting your self and your business on the wrong side of a discrimination lawsuit.
Autism is a disability that affects communication, but communication is the responsibility of both parties. Would you "coach" a Deaf employee on producing more melodious mouth-speech? No, because that is fucking insulting. Your best move here with regard to communication is to arrange a training for all employees on neurodiversity and communication. Seek out an Autistic-run consultancy for this.
posted by heatherlogan at 2:51 PM on August 15, 2023 [13 favorites]
Autism is a disability that affects communication, but communication is the responsibility of both parties. Would you "coach" a Deaf employee on producing more melodious mouth-speech? No, because that is fucking insulting. Your best move here with regard to communication is to arrange a training for all employees on neurodiversity and communication. Seek out an Autistic-run consultancy for this.
posted by heatherlogan at 2:51 PM on August 15, 2023 [13 favorites]
Seconding that you would do well to spend some time reading Job Accommodation Network resources including their guidance on how a manager can help a worker with their limitations without diagnosing them.
posted by brainwane at 2:53 PM on August 15, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by brainwane at 2:53 PM on August 15, 2023 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks all - just to clarify, I’m looking for resources specifically for myself. I do not plan to gift any books, or to talk about neurodivergence with this staffer. I’m still fairly new to management and I know how communication and project management work best for me and my work style but I want to see more diverse examples of what might work for others (specifically what has worked for people with similar communication issues to my staffer).
posted by JannaK at 3:21 PM on August 15, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by JannaK at 3:21 PM on August 15, 2023 [6 favorites]
Ask a Manager is just a fantastic resource. Maybe start with her favorite posts?
posted by bluedaisy at 3:24 PM on August 15, 2023
posted by bluedaisy at 3:24 PM on August 15, 2023
Best answer: Hello - I am this employee, and I have had similar issues in the past. I'm also self diagnosed as Autistic, but professionally diagnsed with ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression.
Here's what has worked best for me, and for my old Managers:
I'd do a maladaptive behavior, my manager would catch it, my manager would mention to please refrain from doing it again, and then would suggest an alternate behavior I could do instead. I didn't mention any of my diagnoses to my manager beforehand. They didn't bring it up as a possibility, either; I would have been mortified if they had. We concentrated on behaviors to be corrected, and not as the possible root cause of the behaviors to be addressed.
Here's an example: I was a Software Tester. In a Customer-facing meeting, that was mandatory for me to attend. I mentioned an issue that only affected our Test Team internally. This could have been very bad, if we didn't have a solid relationship with the Customer.
Both the Project Manager and the Test Manager pulled me aside, and we did the following:
- They identified the behavior that they wished to not see again, which was mentioning internal testing issues.
- They explained why this was bad; the Customer doesn't need to know about any of this, and it could cause the Customer to lose confidence is us, and accordingly, business.
- They gave me a couple of alternate behaviors to do instead: mainly stay as an observer in these Customer-facign meetings, and if I had any questions or issues to bring up? Message the PM ot Test Manager directly, and they will vet whether or not it's to be brought up to the Customer.
Maybe a similar approach could be done with your employee?
posted by spinifex23 at 3:26 PM on August 15, 2023 [14 favorites]
Here's what has worked best for me, and for my old Managers:
I'd do a maladaptive behavior, my manager would catch it, my manager would mention to please refrain from doing it again, and then would suggest an alternate behavior I could do instead. I didn't mention any of my diagnoses to my manager beforehand. They didn't bring it up as a possibility, either; I would have been mortified if they had. We concentrated on behaviors to be corrected, and not as the possible root cause of the behaviors to be addressed.
Here's an example: I was a Software Tester. In a Customer-facing meeting, that was mandatory for me to attend. I mentioned an issue that only affected our Test Team internally. This could have been very bad, if we didn't have a solid relationship with the Customer.
Both the Project Manager and the Test Manager pulled me aside, and we did the following:
- They identified the behavior that they wished to not see again, which was mentioning internal testing issues.
- They explained why this was bad; the Customer doesn't need to know about any of this, and it could cause the Customer to lose confidence is us, and accordingly, business.
- They gave me a couple of alternate behaviors to do instead: mainly stay as an observer in these Customer-facign meetings, and if I had any questions or issues to bring up? Message the PM ot Test Manager directly, and they will vet whether or not it's to be brought up to the Customer.
Maybe a similar approach could be done with your employee?
posted by spinifex23 at 3:26 PM on August 15, 2023 [14 favorites]
I would think about if there are changes to your systems of practices that would help all of your reports work together effectively, with each making modest and achievable changes to their existing workflows and practices. I would design these with accommodations for disability of all sorts in mind, so for example accommodating work from home, flexible hours, communication styles and other things. That way you will be able to adjust for other new team members in future. Focusing solely on strategies to help one person might not be the most efficient approach.
posted by lookoutbelow at 3:30 PM on August 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by lookoutbelow at 3:30 PM on August 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Could you find your employee a coach or mentor? My workplace has helped me immensely to improve my communication and 'soft' skills. I think these aspects were key:
- courses which combined theory (particularly helpful for the neurodivergent, since it can include what is often unspoken) and exercises/case studies/reflection
- recognizing / helping me realize that I really wanted to be pleasant to work with, I just needed to work on getting better at it
- a coach/mentor to discuss progress with and get suggestions from when you know you need a new approach but can't come up with it on your own
(I've had some managers who took that latter role, and it worked out well for me, but it's not a good idea in general because (I assume) you're responsible for this employee's appraisal.)
Depending on the relationship you have, you could also try for the encouragement related to the second part.
Finally, I'd recommend giving them time, if you can, first to absorb that there's more to being a good employee than just delivering good work and then to explore what those other things are. (I think those took me five years each. It was worth it, though!)
Thanks for appreciating your employee for who they are and considering how you could help them - it means a lot!
posted by demi-octopus at 1:55 AM on August 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
- courses which combined theory (particularly helpful for the neurodivergent, since it can include what is often unspoken) and exercises/case studies/reflection
- recognizing / helping me realize that I really wanted to be pleasant to work with, I just needed to work on getting better at it
- a coach/mentor to discuss progress with and get suggestions from when you know you need a new approach but can't come up with it on your own
(I've had some managers who took that latter role, and it worked out well for me, but it's not a good idea in general because (I assume) you're responsible for this employee's appraisal.)
Depending on the relationship you have, you could also try for the encouragement related to the second part.
Finally, I'd recommend giving them time, if you can, first to absorb that there's more to being a good employee than just delivering good work and then to explore what those other things are. (I think those took me five years each. It was worth it, though!)
Thanks for appreciating your employee for who they are and considering how you could help them - it means a lot!
posted by demi-octopus at 1:55 AM on August 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
Read up on the double empathy problem and explore writing by autistic people. Here are blog posts on autistic communication differences and workplace accommodations that may help.
Explain WHY the social thing needs to be done. Speaking as an AuDHD person myself, I don't respect hierarchy for hierarchy's sake, and I could care less about other people's random private interests, like their kids or their pets or the latest Vikings game. But if you tell me "90% of the people around you have a weird neurotype where they get dopamine hits off water cooler talk, if you want a shot at a promotion you will ask Karen about her dog's Halloween costume" and I will do it.
Be open to the idea that you and your other employees are the ones who are struggling to communicate clearly here. Your (probably autistic) employee suffers because they are a minority... not because they are clueless, wrong or inherently bad at communicating. Your styles don't match and that is the problem. Of course it is nice to equip them with survival skills, and wouldn't we all like to learn to speak more effectively? But this person has already spent a lifetime masking to fit into your (from their perspective) bizarre social culture. Creating a workplace that's actually neurodiversity-affirming means it's time for y'all to do the work. This question is a great start :)
As for project and time management, read about interest-based brains and monotropic thinking, and do what you can to make tracking and check-ins easy, automatic, visual and nondisruptive. Preserve the sanctity of hyperfocus by minimizing task changes! Use urgency to your advantage! Build a sensory friendly environment for maximal use of brain processing resources! Skip the small talk and just say what you want! I think tweaking the workload so everyone is doing what they are good at is a smart move.
posted by lloquat at 2:09 AM on August 16, 2023 [5 favorites]
Explain WHY the social thing needs to be done. Speaking as an AuDHD person myself, I don't respect hierarchy for hierarchy's sake, and I could care less about other people's random private interests, like their kids or their pets or the latest Vikings game. But if you tell me "90% of the people around you have a weird neurotype where they get dopamine hits off water cooler talk, if you want a shot at a promotion you will ask Karen about her dog's Halloween costume" and I will do it.
Be open to the idea that you and your other employees are the ones who are struggling to communicate clearly here. Your (probably autistic) employee suffers because they are a minority... not because they are clueless, wrong or inherently bad at communicating. Your styles don't match and that is the problem. Of course it is nice to equip them with survival skills, and wouldn't we all like to learn to speak more effectively? But this person has already spent a lifetime masking to fit into your (from their perspective) bizarre social culture. Creating a workplace that's actually neurodiversity-affirming means it's time for y'all to do the work. This question is a great start :)
As for project and time management, read about interest-based brains and monotropic thinking, and do what you can to make tracking and check-ins easy, automatic, visual and nondisruptive. Preserve the sanctity of hyperfocus by minimizing task changes! Use urgency to your advantage! Build a sensory friendly environment for maximal use of brain processing resources! Skip the small talk and just say what you want! I think tweaking the workload so everyone is doing what they are good at is a smart move.
posted by lloquat at 2:09 AM on August 16, 2023 [5 favorites]
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Perhaps this would be a good gift.
posted by Sophont at 2:37 PM on August 15, 2023 [1 favorite]