Help me become a better problem-solver

August 1, 2023 7:10 PM

I think my problem-solving ability is weakening, and I think this is due at least partly to diminishing curiosity and more giving up too easily. In case it matters, I am 60 years old and a lifetime learner.

A few things have happened recently where I asked for help, but I might not have needed to, if I had just looked around and experimented more. Do you have suggestions on how to train myself out of this and develop better habits?

posted by NotLost to Grab Bag (9 answers total)

You could decide to try X number of solutions alone before asking for help? Or write a list with 10 possible solutions before asking for help?

But honestly in some cases asking for help IS a form of solving a problem so I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself.

(Assuming you’re also contributing an equal level of something - energy, care, interest, listening, money, or help of some kind - back into your relationships with whoever helps you! Don’t be a drain on people - give back something too)
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:28 PM on August 1, 2023 [5 favorites]

I'm 61, fiercely independent by inclination, and one of the problems I've started pondering is how to improve my ability to ask for help gracefully when I need it and how to accept help with the pure gratitude it deserves instead of polluting that with resentment at my own perceived failings.

Death will come for us all, and a certain degree of infirmity will inevitably precede it, and as a lifelong problem-solver I think it's completely appropriate to be preparing for that well before it becomes severe enough to get urgent.
posted by flabdablet at 10:08 PM on August 1, 2023 [14 favorites]

Best answer: Consider learning Design Thinking as a creative problem solving methodology. I find it helps to (roughly) follow a process that brings rigor to problem solving. Otherwise you're likely to jump to solutions early, before you've done a good job defining success and really exploring options. If you're using it for personal reasons rather than to develop products or services, you may be able to shorten and customize the process, but I think knowing all the steps would be good even if you don't follow them all.

If you want to learn it, there are tons of resources. Here's an article for beginners that explains the process. I wrote a set of how-to learning modules on Design Strategy for a former employer, which are online and free. I don't want to self-promote here, so DM me if you'd like the link.
posted by nadise at 10:53 PM on August 1, 2023 [7 favorites]

Best answer: One thing that might be worth doing, if it's not something you do very often these days, is playing around with some unfamiliar technologies (devices, software, etc.) and getting yourself to a point of familiarity using the internet as your only resource. Just because we're all likely to encounter lots of unfamiliar interfaces and design paradigms and technologies over the rest of our lives, and while there are plenty of young people who exhibit a reluctance to explore and a kind of helplessness around stuff they're unfamiliar with, that tendency seems to become more and more common with age (maybe because of less patience with new stuff, being accustomed to fluency in some environment and feeling uncomfortable at not having that fluency immediately in new environments, etc.) 60 is pretty young, so you probably have a lot more unfamiliar technologies ahead of you.

You can also give yourself guidelines like "I'll ask for help after I've tried 5 different things" or "I'll ask after I've done some research online first" (assuming the thing you need to solve isn't urgent).

Another approach is to give yourself something to play around with, like learning to experiment with mechanical problems by getting yourself a bunch of (lego-style?) gears and cams and rods and so on and figuring out how to build different mechanisms, or trying to cook very specific things you've never made before, or taking up a hobby with a learning curve. Low-stakes things where you can get used to patient experimenting and also to getting frustrated by intermediate results.

And there are a lot of video games based around problem solving, where you often have to try a lot of things patiently before you find the answer.

But agreed that asking for help is also a useful skill.
posted by trig at 1:55 AM on August 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

I'm 76, and I resemble that remark.

There could be any number of complications, but two are that 1. your skills are too old and 2. the problem is too new. College was four decades ago, and problems arise with stuff invented yesterday. The wiring in my house, built in 1958, is about 3 generations old technology.

I did a lot of computer programming but such instructions that you can find for modern software are unintelligible.

On the other hand, I recently finished a problem in Complex Analysis that I dropped in 1979, so perhaps not all is lost.
posted by SemiSalt at 5:40 AM on August 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

Maybe you could ask for a different type of help - like "help me figure this out" as opposed to "do this for me" or "tell me the answer"? Because asking for help in my mind is an essential trait of lifelong learners.

Re: home repairs specifically, youtube it! It is the exact thing you are looking for. Just the right amount of help to get you started with poking around without the anxiety of not knowing what the heck to even look for.
posted by MiraK at 9:15 AM on August 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

Can you sign up for chatGPT? If your problems are relatively common it's very good. Might not be what you're looking for but it's free and worth a try.
posted by hermanubis at 10:19 AM on August 2, 2023

Best answer: You could try using "The Five Why's" technique and see if it helps. I am approaching 70 and a computer programmer. Although I'm not as sharp as when I was younger, as others have pointed out it helps to have one or more approaches to dealing with problems, this is just one.
posted by forthright at 3:40 PM on August 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: More than one approach AND the process of working through new problems/challenges. Of any kind. As long as you're exercising that problem-solving muscle, you're working to keep it as strong, as and for as long as, your biology/genetics/health status will allow.

Regarding diminishing curiosity and giving up too easily: I have those tendencies as well. If you're getting bored or complacent with the same ol' hobbies/problems/topics, find new ones that you find compelling - for instance working to gain a new skill, or finding a new topic to learn about, even something like thinking up theories about whodunit in a murder mystery you're reading before the author lets you in on that crucial bit if information they've been withholding... Doesn't matter what it is, or how useful or trivial or "real world applicable" it might be, or how "good" you are or aren't at it or think you "should" be, as long as it turns your brain on. The only thing that matters is that you're interested in it, you're engaged/motivated by it, and it makes you use your brain in new ways. It's literally the process that counts.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:08 PM on August 2, 2023 [2 favorites]