Easing car travel after surgery.
July 17, 2023 6:55 AM Subscribe
Due to new draconian state laws we've had to move a family member's surgery from down the street to a different state, a 4-5 hour drive away. There will be one round trip a week for about a month, there will be drainage tubes, etc. The patient will be a passenger, not driving, but it will still be no fun. How to make it as comfortable and safe as possible?
He's having gender-affirming top surgery, so he'll be able to sit and lay, but won't be able to wear a shoulder belt across his chest. At least two legs of the trip he'll be dealing with drains. Work and budget won't let us stay as long as we want in hotels, so we'll be traveling no more than 24 hours after procedures. We plan frequent stops (and of course following our medical professional's recommendations and medications) but beyond that, what would make these trips more tolerable for the patient?
He's having gender-affirming top surgery, so he'll be able to sit and lay, but won't be able to wear a shoulder belt across his chest. At least two legs of the trip he'll be dealing with drains. Work and budget won't let us stay as long as we want in hotels, so we'll be traveling no more than 24 hours after procedures. We plan frequent stops (and of course following our medical professional's recommendations and medications) but beyond that, what would make these trips more tolerable for the patient?
Happy for him! Some thoughts:
Would an airbnb or a cheaper hotel be more affordable? Staying longer would really help. Even a couple extra nights before travel might really make a difference. Would it be possible to tell the employer it’s a mastectomy for prophylactic care (like BRACA gene?) Gender-affirming care IS prophylactic care so it’s a good lie.
A leakproof insulated travel cup with a long bendy straw will probably be welcome.
Baby wipes for body cleaning, and flushable wipes for the bathroom. (Be mindful of flushing them of course, they could clog older plumbing).
A Frida brand peri bottle (it’s like a tiny handheld portable bidet bottle with a bent spout, intended as a post partum bidet but great for travel). Great for feeling clean the first few days when showers aren’t allowed.
Ask doc if he’s allowed to have anything to help him sleep in transit? Something as mild as Benadryl or as powerful as Ativan might help.
Stock the car with baby wipes and tissues for little spills, snacks, etc.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:17 AM on July 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
Would an airbnb or a cheaper hotel be more affordable? Staying longer would really help. Even a couple extra nights before travel might really make a difference. Would it be possible to tell the employer it’s a mastectomy for prophylactic care (like BRACA gene?) Gender-affirming care IS prophylactic care so it’s a good lie.
A leakproof insulated travel cup with a long bendy straw will probably be welcome.
Baby wipes for body cleaning, and flushable wipes for the bathroom. (Be mindful of flushing them of course, they could clog older plumbing).
A Frida brand peri bottle (it’s like a tiny handheld portable bidet bottle with a bent spout, intended as a post partum bidet but great for travel). Great for feeling clean the first few days when showers aren’t allowed.
Ask doc if he’s allowed to have anything to help him sleep in transit? Something as mild as Benadryl or as powerful as Ativan might help.
Stock the car with baby wipes and tissues for little spills, snacks, etc.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:17 AM on July 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Hi there! I'm a nonbinary person who had top surgery almost a year ago.
The mastectomy pillow was definitely helpful for the ride home as well as just wearing around the house the first few days post-surgery to make sure I didn't bump into things – I used this one.
Honestly for the first 24 hours after surgery I was mostly still numb and not in much pain – for me, the worst days were days 3-4, as I started to feel the pain a bit more, get really itchy (Benadryl is great for that), and just feel uncomfortable. For long car rides he'll mostly be dealing with that discomfort, but outside of the seat belt issue he shouldn't be dealing with any other problems specific to riding in a car.
Other things that were helpful for me in recovery:
1. Arnicare tablets – provide pain relief and help with bruising
2. Pineapple/pineapple juice – helpful to get the bowels moving as lots of folks have constipation from the anesthetics used in surgery
3. Stool softener pills – see #2
4. Light, easy button-down shirts – I got several from the pajama department at Target
Feel free to DM me if you have any questions!
posted by anotheraccount at 7:26 AM on July 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
The mastectomy pillow was definitely helpful for the ride home as well as just wearing around the house the first few days post-surgery to make sure I didn't bump into things – I used this one.
Honestly for the first 24 hours after surgery I was mostly still numb and not in much pain – for me, the worst days were days 3-4, as I started to feel the pain a bit more, get really itchy (Benadryl is great for that), and just feel uncomfortable. For long car rides he'll mostly be dealing with that discomfort, but outside of the seat belt issue he shouldn't be dealing with any other problems specific to riding in a car.
Other things that were helpful for me in recovery:
1. Arnicare tablets – provide pain relief and help with bruising
2. Pineapple/pineapple juice – helpful to get the bowels moving as lots of folks have constipation from the anesthetics used in surgery
3. Stool softener pills – see #2
4. Light, easy button-down shirts – I got several from the pajama department at Target
Feel free to DM me if you have any questions!
posted by anotheraccount at 7:26 AM on July 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Congrats to your family member -- I had top surgery 3 weeks ago and it's a rough recovery but it's great on this end of things!
Definite yes to mastectomy pillow, mine included a place to insert an ice pack which felt very nice sometimes. In general, you want a LOT of small pillows around and available, to prop up your arms/put behind your back/lay down on/make a little pillow fort around yourself with. Many people like to have a big wedge pillow and/or a "boyfriend pillow" as well, though those are more awkward in the car. Yes to a travel bidet, I had trouble reaching back there for a long time. I used a fanny pack for my drains and it was great, especially if he has to have them in longer than a day or so.
He should probably plan to gently walk around every hour of so, so you'll definitely need lots of stops with gentle walking (at first it might just be, like 10 feet in front of him and them back).
posted by LeeLanded at 1:24 PM on July 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Definite yes to mastectomy pillow, mine included a place to insert an ice pack which felt very nice sometimes. In general, you want a LOT of small pillows around and available, to prop up your arms/put behind your back/lay down on/make a little pillow fort around yourself with. Many people like to have a big wedge pillow and/or a "boyfriend pillow" as well, though those are more awkward in the car. Yes to a travel bidet, I had trouble reaching back there for a long time. I used a fanny pack for my drains and it was great, especially if he has to have them in longer than a day or so.
He should probably plan to gently walk around every hour of so, so you'll definitely need lots of stops with gentle walking (at first it might just be, like 10 feet in front of him and them back).
posted by LeeLanded at 1:24 PM on July 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
After my friend had this surgery they really appreciated having lots of small pillows and fluffy blankets to create essentially a body mold that first week. They were not comfortable sitting or lying, reclined was most comfortable. Note that seatbelts aren't designed for reclined people, so use as little recline as the patient can tolerate.
posted by Narrow Harbor at 1:47 PM on July 17, 2023
posted by Narrow Harbor at 1:47 PM on July 17, 2023
I wonder if there are supportive groups in the state that might provide a place to stay (or help subsidize a hotel stay) for a bit longer after surgery. Because another issue is that it's nice to be close to the surgeon in case things come up that they'd like to take an in-person after the surgery.
Anyway, if you feel comfortable naming the city in which the procedure will be done people might be able to connect you to resources specific to that city. Best of luck to you all, and congratulations to your relative on making this big step!
posted by nixxon at 1:57 PM on July 17, 2023
Anyway, if you feel comfortable naming the city in which the procedure will be done people might be able to connect you to resources specific to that city. Best of luck to you all, and congratulations to your relative on making this big step!
posted by nixxon at 1:57 PM on July 17, 2023
Have you asked the surgeon about the seatbelt? I admittedly did have surgery about 15 minutes from home, but the seatbelt was a non-issue. There's honestly a decent chance he'll just sleep the whole way home. I drove to the second post-op and the seatbelt was also a non-issue then--the one tricky thing about driving was that I was taught to reverse by physically turning around and reaching behind the passenger seat, and that was a non-starter. A friend drove with a cushion between their chest and the seatbelt for a while after top surgery.
Historically, people would stay in town long enough to get the drains out (~1 week) and that would be it for post-op visits. That's obviously the bare minimum in terms of follow-up, but it's worth discussing post-op options with the surgeon as well--weekly for four weeks seems like a lot. They may be willing to do the later ones remotely if everything looks good early on. I think mine were 1 week, two weeks and three months, and honestly the three month one was pointless--the surgeon was a bit judgey about my scars and that was it. (Disclaimer: while I did have surgery locally, I had spent the previous six years assuming I'd be doing the "fly across the country, stay a week, fly home" drill. My perspective may be skewed.)
The standard advice is button up shirts. My surgeon used a post-op binder rather than ace bandages and I safety-pinned the drains to it. You could probably pin them to the inside of his shirt too.
I didn't much mind not showering, but we did wash my hair with me kneeling under the tap in the bathtub sometime in the first week. It turns out dry shampoo is a thing, but I didn't know that then.
Have a sheet of paper to keep track of when he took which meds. I took care of someone post-op last year and drawing on the labels with different colors of highlighter and color coding the rows also helped (this was considerably more involved surgery and "every four hours" really was every four hours and I really didn't want to be getting pills confused at 4am).
You do use your chest muscles for some things you wouldn't expect--getting up from the sofa or steadying yourself when you stand up as the bus is slowly. On about day three, I woke up and suddenly sitting up and standing up off the bed/sofa no longer hurt, but I definitely had to be cautious on the bus for much longer.
posted by hoyland at 6:55 PM on July 17, 2023
Historically, people would stay in town long enough to get the drains out (~1 week) and that would be it for post-op visits. That's obviously the bare minimum in terms of follow-up, but it's worth discussing post-op options with the surgeon as well--weekly for four weeks seems like a lot. They may be willing to do the later ones remotely if everything looks good early on. I think mine were 1 week, two weeks and three months, and honestly the three month one was pointless--the surgeon was a bit judgey about my scars and that was it. (Disclaimer: while I did have surgery locally, I had spent the previous six years assuming I'd be doing the "fly across the country, stay a week, fly home" drill. My perspective may be skewed.)
The standard advice is button up shirts. My surgeon used a post-op binder rather than ace bandages and I safety-pinned the drains to it. You could probably pin them to the inside of his shirt too.
I didn't much mind not showering, but we did wash my hair with me kneeling under the tap in the bathtub sometime in the first week. It turns out dry shampoo is a thing, but I didn't know that then.
Have a sheet of paper to keep track of when he took which meds. I took care of someone post-op last year and drawing on the labels with different colors of highlighter and color coding the rows also helped (this was considerably more involved surgery and "every four hours" really was every four hours and I really didn't want to be getting pills confused at 4am).
You do use your chest muscles for some things you wouldn't expect--getting up from the sofa or steadying yourself when you stand up as the bus is slowly. On about day three, I woke up and suddenly sitting up and standing up off the bed/sofa no longer hurt, but I definitely had to be cautious on the bus for much longer.
posted by hoyland at 6:55 PM on July 17, 2023
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posted by AlexiaSky at 7:10 AM on July 17, 2023 [4 favorites]