Keeping it Spicy for the next 6 months
April 29, 2023 1:59 AM Subscribe
For health reasons, I can’t be physically involved with my marital sex life right now. Interested in learning how to give JOI, male toys, and other ideas for keeping things happy. (More inside includes lightly nsfw information, and I assume replies will as well!)
I can’t be physically involved and my husband and I still want to have a fulfilling sex life. He would like to try Jerk Off Instructions (JOI) but neither of us knows where to start with that. Any guides? Would this be something we could pay a cam girl to teach us? How would we find someone into that instead of their regular session? Are there any male sex toys that are next level in terms of pleasure?
Do you have any other suggestions or ideas about how to have things be spicy for the next six months or so while it’s not physical? I will be in the same room, and for complex medical reasons please just believe me that I won’t be doing any touching or being touched in any way and don’t suggest things like erotic massage or him rubbing against me. Same room, sexy times together but only him getting off. He’s open to scenes and light degradation or shame dirty talk, and in general doubling down on the lewdness factor. So am I! But things have always just been incredibly physical without a lot of dirty talk, so we don’t really know where to start even though we’re both interested and into it. Most dirty talk advice is things to say *during* sex, so not super applicable since there will be no filling up or doing me harder 😆
Help me know what’s worth the money and what resources or ideas to explore! Thank you so much
I can’t be physically involved and my husband and I still want to have a fulfilling sex life. He would like to try Jerk Off Instructions (JOI) but neither of us knows where to start with that. Any guides? Would this be something we could pay a cam girl to teach us? How would we find someone into that instead of their regular session? Are there any male sex toys that are next level in terms of pleasure?
Do you have any other suggestions or ideas about how to have things be spicy for the next six months or so while it’s not physical? I will be in the same room, and for complex medical reasons please just believe me that I won’t be doing any touching or being touched in any way and don’t suggest things like erotic massage or him rubbing against me. Same room, sexy times together but only him getting off. He’s open to scenes and light degradation or shame dirty talk, and in general doubling down on the lewdness factor. So am I! But things have always just been incredibly physical without a lot of dirty talk, so we don’t really know where to start even though we’re both interested and into it. Most dirty talk advice is things to say *during* sex, so not super applicable since there will be no filling up or doing me harder 😆
Help me know what’s worth the money and what resources or ideas to explore! Thank you so much
Reddit has a user-created audio porn page called Gone Wild Audio where you could get some ideas
posted by lamp at 6:05 AM on April 29, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by lamp at 6:05 AM on April 29, 2023 [2 favorites]
Check the "penis toys" category at Oh Joy Sex Toy. And maybe check the Sex Ed "How To" section, too, the site is very much about sharing lots of different kinds of sexual expression.
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:21 AM on April 29, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:21 AM on April 29, 2023 [3 favorites]
either via verbally or through text (sms/email/etc.) plan for what each of you want your return to physical sexuality will be like?
posted by mmascolino at 9:08 AM on April 29, 2023
posted by mmascolino at 9:08 AM on April 29, 2023
While you are in the same room, that fact that you won’t be touching makes me think that one of the many guides to phone sex may be relevant.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 9:45 AM on April 29, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 9:45 AM on April 29, 2023 [1 favorite]
You could read some erotic stories aloud to him. Even better if you write them yourself.
posted by Leontine at 11:35 AM on April 29, 2023
posted by Leontine at 11:35 AM on April 29, 2023
Are there any male sex toys that are next level in terms of pleasure?
Bad Dragon masturbators. There's an Oh Joy Sex Toy review for the Sophia model here, and admittedly they weren't as much of a fan as me. Bad Dragon will make toys with custom colors about once a month, and they will drop a new batch of inventory once a week or so. You will have to watch their Twitter to see when toys/commissions are available. They have a loyal following, and you can find more detailed reviews of their toys online at many sites.
posted by saeculorum at 12:25 PM on April 29, 2023
Bad Dragon masturbators. There's an Oh Joy Sex Toy review for the Sophia model here, and admittedly they weren't as much of a fan as me. Bad Dragon will make toys with custom colors about once a month, and they will drop a new batch of inventory once a week or so. You will have to watch their Twitter to see when toys/commissions are available. They have a loyal following, and you can find more detailed reviews of their toys online at many sites.
posted by saeculorum at 12:25 PM on April 29, 2023
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That’s definitely a big thing in porn these days. Though I hate to suggest it, you could go over to Pornhub and simply search for JOI and you’ll find a ton of videos to get ideas from.
A lot of JOI content centers around femdom, humiliation, etc. Others are more centered on teasing, edging, etc. There are also audio-only offerings, which I think might actually be more attractive/informative.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:35 AM on April 29, 2023