Help me throw a good bachelor party for 15-20 in Portland, OR
April 22, 2023 3:07 PM Subscribe
I'm spearheading a three-day bachelor party for a dear old friend, with a guest list of 15-20 folks total, and it's not something I've done before. My biggest blind spot here is logistics: I'm local to Portland and have plenty of go-to spots, but it's enough people that my usual small-group planning experiences don't feel sufficient. How can I best make this work seamlessly for a dozen and a half people who don't know my home town?
What I have:
- plenty of ideas for places that I know and like in town and in the greater Portland area, some of which are public spots that can accommodate an arbitrary crowd easily, many of which I've never tried to bring more than like six people to and 15-20 feels like a different beast entirely
- a supportive group of out-of-town groomsman who are willing to help try and execute/manage logistics once I have a good lead
- a group of friends-of-my-friend who are in their late 30s and early 40s and who are generally not jackasses and who are not aiming to just be as drunk as possible as soon as possible all weekend, though plenty of drinking will be involved
What I need:
- a good plan for moving folks around town (big van rental? taxi/uber? teaching people public transit? etc.)
- a good plan for divide-and-conquer so that we can split groups up part of the time and solve the much smaller problem of 6-8 people in several sets instead of everything being a colossus, hard-to-seat crowd
- good suggestions for how to manage accommodations (this group is too big for even a large airbnb rental house I reckon; hotel room blocks? Is the Jupiter still a good option for a multi-room party-ish hotel crowd?)
- all the miscellaneous bachelor party and crowd management advice you've got, this is not my wheelhouse and all kinds of advice is welcome
What I have:
- plenty of ideas for places that I know and like in town and in the greater Portland area, some of which are public spots that can accommodate an arbitrary crowd easily, many of which I've never tried to bring more than like six people to and 15-20 feels like a different beast entirely
- a supportive group of out-of-town groomsman who are willing to help try and execute/manage logistics once I have a good lead
- a group of friends-of-my-friend who are in their late 30s and early 40s and who are generally not jackasses and who are not aiming to just be as drunk as possible as soon as possible all weekend, though plenty of drinking will be involved
What I need:
- a good plan for moving folks around town (big van rental? taxi/uber? teaching people public transit? etc.)
- a good plan for divide-and-conquer so that we can split groups up part of the time and solve the much smaller problem of 6-8 people in several sets instead of everything being a colossus, hard-to-seat crowd
- good suggestions for how to manage accommodations (this group is too big for even a large airbnb rental house I reckon; hotel room blocks? Is the Jupiter still a good option for a multi-room party-ish hotel crowd?)
- all the miscellaneous bachelor party and crowd management advice you've got, this is not my wheelhouse and all kinds of advice is welcome
Oooh I have thoughts! I'll share the agenda of a bachelor party that I recently helped plan and host and attended...plus some lessons learned. It was in NYC, not Portland, but I feel like our vibe was similar to what you're hoping for.
Lesson 1: We booked a big house on Airbnb for everyone to stay together, and at the last minute, they cancelled on us! So literally the day everyone was arriving, we had to switch to a block of hotel rooms. That worked out great, because it turned out that people enjoyed a little more privacy, and the cost was actually a bit cheaper on the individual level. Recommendation for this is to have people bunk up in pairs -- for us, everyone knew at least one other person well enough that this was easy and fine and more affordable. You can either book all the rooms yourself and get credit card points (wheee!) or call the hotel, make sure there are enough of them, and then give everyone instructions on exactly what they have to do and when. Very clear instructions are important -- like probably a Google doc where all the pairs are listed and the dates they have to book and the link to the online booking and the "due by" date. It might be a good idea to book one big suite for the groom and a bestie or two so that you have a larger room that everyone can pack into to gather -- or make sure the hotel has a decent lobby/gathering space. Our rooms were all small, but our hotel had a lounge where we all met up when we were going somewhere en masse or needed a meeting point.
Lesson 2: On the topic of instructions/agenda, my co-planners and I made a Google doc with the whole agenda and then highlighted in red what people had to take care of for themselves when we sent it out. (Like buy tickets to a thing or whatever.) Then we divvied up the list and harassed people we knew best one on one to ensure they all actually followed through. Everyone was good about looking at the agenda and being excited, but they basically only did their parts when we texted them, and of course, we the planners had a separate spreadsheet where we were checking off people's names once we confirmed they had done whatever thing they were supposed to do so that nobody got left out. The planners had scheduled calls for the weeks leading up to the event so that we could make sure everything was on track.
Lesson 3: It was really helpful to give everyone specific duties for things so we didn't have to carry all the weight. This happened kinda naturally based on people's interests/abilities/location -- and it meant that the planners didn't do everything. For instance, one guy loved restaurants so we were like, please research and pick the best spot for Friday night. Another guy was into comedy, so it was his job to choose where we were going and make that reservation. Another obtained party favors, etc. We really did just assign these for the most part for the important stuff, and other people stepped up as needed throughout the weekend.
Okay here was the schedule:
Friday afternoon -- arrive between 3-6pm, check into hotel, gather at nearby bar for happy hour whenever you get in
Friday night -- meet at 8pm for group dinner at X location (we'd secured the large party room and we also just had 2 people order family style food for everyone so that all people had to do was order their drinks and dig in/a few guys got together to split/pay the bill for everyone and dinner was "a gift from them")
Friday night -- after dinner, we walked to a comedy club (reservation made in advance) and enjoyed that/again 2 people split the cost of everyone and the evening was "sponsored" by them
Friday late night -- party people went out/sleepy people went home -- Ubers were shared
Saturday -- we gave people a bunch of free time to do whatever they wanted -- had some events on the schedule, but nobody was expected to be anywhere specific as a whole group until happy hour. People came and went throughout the day depending on their own interests and other plans.
Saturday AM -- If you wanna brunch, meet at X location at 11am. (Seems like in Portland, you'd do a food cart pod for ease and flexibility??)
Saturday midday -- If you wanna hang out, we'll be at X location (a park in NYC) just chilling from 12:30-3. People are free to come and go. (Two people were responsible for bringing some snacks and drinks // Two other people had some blankets and games they brought.) People came and went. A few people did other activities together, but mostly it was either hanging with the group or doing a solo thing.
Saturday happy hour -- Everyone convene at X location at 5pm. Those of us coming from the hotel together all just met in the lobby at 4:30 and took Ubers in groups together.
Saturday evening activity -- Everyone had previously bought tickets to a burlesque/dirty circus/debaucherous event thing. We took Ubers from happy hour and got there when doors opened so we could get seats in a section together (not reserved). This was more expensive, so everyone got tickets for themselves in advance.
Saturday late night -- We ordered a ton of pizzas and went to a generous friend's house to hang out. People were assigned to stop and get other stuff on the way (drinks). Everyone hung out there as long as they wanted, then went home in shared Ubers when they were ready.
Sunday AM -- just got a bunch of bagels and coffee and posted up in the lounge at the hotel -- swing through and say hi/bye/chill for a bit before you check out and head home
Our crew had a ton of fun and with the plans all made in advance, but not too intensely scheduled, everything went smoothly and people had the flexibility to make the weekend what they wanted on a personal level. Hope this helps!
posted by luzdeluna at 9:21 AM on April 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
Lesson 1: We booked a big house on Airbnb for everyone to stay together, and at the last minute, they cancelled on us! So literally the day everyone was arriving, we had to switch to a block of hotel rooms. That worked out great, because it turned out that people enjoyed a little more privacy, and the cost was actually a bit cheaper on the individual level. Recommendation for this is to have people bunk up in pairs -- for us, everyone knew at least one other person well enough that this was easy and fine and more affordable. You can either book all the rooms yourself and get credit card points (wheee!) or call the hotel, make sure there are enough of them, and then give everyone instructions on exactly what they have to do and when. Very clear instructions are important -- like probably a Google doc where all the pairs are listed and the dates they have to book and the link to the online booking and the "due by" date. It might be a good idea to book one big suite for the groom and a bestie or two so that you have a larger room that everyone can pack into to gather -- or make sure the hotel has a decent lobby/gathering space. Our rooms were all small, but our hotel had a lounge where we all met up when we were going somewhere en masse or needed a meeting point.
Lesson 2: On the topic of instructions/agenda, my co-planners and I made a Google doc with the whole agenda and then highlighted in red what people had to take care of for themselves when we sent it out. (Like buy tickets to a thing or whatever.) Then we divvied up the list and harassed people we knew best one on one to ensure they all actually followed through. Everyone was good about looking at the agenda and being excited, but they basically only did their parts when we texted them, and of course, we the planners had a separate spreadsheet where we were checking off people's names once we confirmed they had done whatever thing they were supposed to do so that nobody got left out. The planners had scheduled calls for the weeks leading up to the event so that we could make sure everything was on track.
Lesson 3: It was really helpful to give everyone specific duties for things so we didn't have to carry all the weight. This happened kinda naturally based on people's interests/abilities/location -- and it meant that the planners didn't do everything. For instance, one guy loved restaurants so we were like, please research and pick the best spot for Friday night. Another guy was into comedy, so it was his job to choose where we were going and make that reservation. Another obtained party favors, etc. We really did just assign these for the most part for the important stuff, and other people stepped up as needed throughout the weekend.
Okay here was the schedule:
Friday afternoon -- arrive between 3-6pm, check into hotel, gather at nearby bar for happy hour whenever you get in
Friday night -- meet at 8pm for group dinner at X location (we'd secured the large party room and we also just had 2 people order family style food for everyone so that all people had to do was order their drinks and dig in/a few guys got together to split/pay the bill for everyone and dinner was "a gift from them")
Friday night -- after dinner, we walked to a comedy club (reservation made in advance) and enjoyed that/again 2 people split the cost of everyone and the evening was "sponsored" by them
Friday late night -- party people went out/sleepy people went home -- Ubers were shared
Saturday -- we gave people a bunch of free time to do whatever they wanted -- had some events on the schedule, but nobody was expected to be anywhere specific as a whole group until happy hour. People came and went throughout the day depending on their own interests and other plans.
Saturday AM -- If you wanna brunch, meet at X location at 11am. (Seems like in Portland, you'd do a food cart pod for ease and flexibility??)
Saturday midday -- If you wanna hang out, we'll be at X location (a park in NYC) just chilling from 12:30-3. People are free to come and go. (Two people were responsible for bringing some snacks and drinks // Two other people had some blankets and games they brought.) People came and went. A few people did other activities together, but mostly it was either hanging with the group or doing a solo thing.
Saturday happy hour -- Everyone convene at X location at 5pm. Those of us coming from the hotel together all just met in the lobby at 4:30 and took Ubers in groups together.
Saturday evening activity -- Everyone had previously bought tickets to a burlesque/dirty circus/debaucherous event thing. We took Ubers from happy hour and got there when doors opened so we could get seats in a section together (not reserved). This was more expensive, so everyone got tickets for themselves in advance.
Saturday late night -- We ordered a ton of pizzas and went to a generous friend's house to hang out. People were assigned to stop and get other stuff on the way (drinks). Everyone hung out there as long as they wanted, then went home in shared Ubers when they were ready.
Sunday AM -- just got a bunch of bagels and coffee and posted up in the lounge at the hotel -- swing through and say hi/bye/chill for a bit before you check out and head home
Our crew had a ton of fun and with the plans all made in advance, but not too intensely scheduled, everything went smoothly and people had the flexibility to make the weekend what they wanted on a personal level. Hope this helps!
posted by luzdeluna at 9:21 AM on April 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
I don't think you need to figure out transportation, because this is a group of adults who are all used to moving around places in these modern times. I'd tell them to download Lyft if they don't already have it, because they can use Lyft for Biketown. When's this event happening? If it's not pouring rain, Biketown is a great way to get around town; other folks can Lyft/Uber if they want to. But using Biketown can be part of the fun. People who come to Portland love that. Also, plan for part of the weekend to be getting those escooter rentals.
Maybe figure out your favorite place that can fit that size group, and plan for a meeting time for everyone there after lunch and before dinner, say, starting at 3pm. So call your favorite brewery with a patio and ask to reserve the patio for 3pm - 5pm on Saturday, for example.
And as for group activities: I say to make one of your activities be going to one of the arcades in Southeast (Quarter World is one, I think?). Maybe have your meal from 3-5pm near there, and then go play games at 6pm or something, before it gets super busy. A group of 15-20 could work just fine at one of those game places.
And for lodging: I say come up with a part of town where there are a few hotels, and give people the names of two to three hotels in a few different price ranges, and then let them sort out their own lodging, or find a B&B if they prefer. So then they book it directly with the hotel and they're staying mostly near each other.
posted by bluedaisy at 11:23 AM on April 24, 2023
Maybe figure out your favorite place that can fit that size group, and plan for a meeting time for everyone there after lunch and before dinner, say, starting at 3pm. So call your favorite brewery with a patio and ask to reserve the patio for 3pm - 5pm on Saturday, for example.
And as for group activities: I say to make one of your activities be going to one of the arcades in Southeast (Quarter World is one, I think?). Maybe have your meal from 3-5pm near there, and then go play games at 6pm or something, before it gets super busy. A group of 15-20 could work just fine at one of those game places.
And for lodging: I say come up with a part of town where there are a few hotels, and give people the names of two to three hotels in a few different price ranges, and then let them sort out their own lodging, or find a B&B if they prefer. So then they book it directly with the hotel and they're staying mostly near each other.
posted by bluedaisy at 11:23 AM on April 24, 2023
I don’t see anything in your post about budget, and for bachelor parties that can be a huge determining factor.
By far the best success I’ve had at throwing a bachelor party was a small-scale casino trip. Everyone involved was software industry in their early 30s, so it wasn’t too much of a hardship to scrounge up $250-300 in chips apiece plus collectively pool $400 for the groom’s, put on the one decent suit each of us owned and meet up for a nice dinner, a quick stop at a fancy bar, and then head to the casino for a very long and pleasant evening of $5 blackjack together doing our collective best American-suburban-James-Bond impressions.
Those who wanted to drink, drank, those who wanted to take the game seriously, did so and those who did not could laugh at the overlap on the Venn diagram of the first two groups.
Three of us ended about $100-150 up, one broke even and the rest (including me, after being up $175 at one point) were cleaned out. Somehow everyone left feeling satisfied. A round of decent cigars the groom’s brother pulled out of a hat at 3AM to close. I’ve been to a fair number of bachelor parties - thankfully never featuring a stripper because I don’t roll with that kind of crowd - and have thrown a few. Casino trip was the best time / least cringe of them all. Far from the cheapest, though - and it’s more a 3PM-3AM deal than an entire weekend by itself. YMMV.
posted by Ryvar at 4:56 PM on April 24, 2023
By far the best success I’ve had at throwing a bachelor party was a small-scale casino trip. Everyone involved was software industry in their early 30s, so it wasn’t too much of a hardship to scrounge up $250-300 in chips apiece plus collectively pool $400 for the groom’s, put on the one decent suit each of us owned and meet up for a nice dinner, a quick stop at a fancy bar, and then head to the casino for a very long and pleasant evening of $5 blackjack together doing our collective best American-suburban-James-Bond impressions.
Those who wanted to drink, drank, those who wanted to take the game seriously, did so and those who did not could laugh at the overlap on the Venn diagram of the first two groups.
Three of us ended about $100-150 up, one broke even and the rest (including me, after being up $175 at one point) were cleaned out. Somehow everyone left feeling satisfied. A round of decent cigars the groom’s brother pulled out of a hat at 3AM to close. I’ve been to a fair number of bachelor parties - thankfully never featuring a stripper because I don’t roll with that kind of crowd - and have thrown a few. Casino trip was the best time / least cringe of them all. Far from the cheapest, though - and it’s more a 3PM-3AM deal than an entire weekend by itself. YMMV.
posted by Ryvar at 4:56 PM on April 24, 2023
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My best piece of advice: Your small-group planning experience is actually ideal for this situation.
A three-day bachelor party is not an actual thing; thankfully, twenty people do not want to do the exact same activities and spend every waking minute together. It's not seamless, by design.
You're planning a couple of reservation-necessary anchor outings for the full group. (This is usually one night and one afternoon of the long weekend, like Saturday night event and farewell outro early Sunday afternoon. Try to get an idea of when most attendees are getting into town and when they plan to travel home.) Rent a party bus for these large outings. Otherwise, compile your insider's guide to Portland, which is the list of options for attendees to contemplate and arrange on their own in smaller groups or as solo adventures. "Divide and conquer" planning is unnecessary. Think of the "unplanned" chunks of downtime in destination weddings or extended family reunions. You have suggestions, but some people will sleep in. Or the photography buffs will go look at waterfalls. It's granting breathing room, by building it in.
Night idea: Portland gastro tour with like 4-5 stops?
Day idea: Whitewater rafting/other outdoorsy activity
Also, is the wedding ceremony happening in Portland, directly after this extended bachelor's party, or will folks be traveling to Portland for two separate celebrations? If it's a run-on, or if you've got a counterpart planning a party for the other spouse's crowd in the same time frame, reserving a block of hotel rooms at a discounted rate may apply.
posted by Iris Gambol at 6:17 PM on April 22, 2023 [4 favorites]