To-do list after name change

February 18, 2023 7:56 PM

I got my name changed but now need to update the info in a bunch of places. Can you help me make sure I don’t miss anything? I am in New Mexico, USA.

Is there anything I need to add to this list of where to update my name? Do you agree with the list?
DMV – driver’s license and car title, in person
Credit union (no bank) – in person
Dentists – in person
Employer, including payroll and all benefits – Sent in order already.
Insurance – home and auto – via e-mail
IRA financial institution – online?
Medical providers – in person
Mortgage lender – via postal mail
Social Security - online
Spouse’s employer – for various benefits – in person
Student loans -- Mohela ???

I have no current passport.

I haven’t figured out how to update my name for my student loans.

Am I missing anything?

posted by NotLost to Grab Bag (16 answers total)

The IRS

Any universities that you attended or from which you graduated, so that if a future employer is trying to match your record to your identity, it can be done

LinkedIn

All of your credit card companies

You’ll also need to revise all of your estate documents: your will, your Power of Attorney for financial concerns, your healthcare proxy/PoA for healthcare, your living will/advanced care directive
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 8:07 PM on February 18, 2023

If you use PayPal or other online payment services you’ll need to make sure you update your name—this surprised me when I changed my name when I got married; the process is similar to a bank name change.
posted by padraigin at 8:53 PM on February 18, 2023

Any travel profiles that could be used to book airline tickets, including corporate systems. But make sure to coordinate it with getting your new ID.

USPS, especially if you changed your last name to one that wasn't previously getting mail at your address. It seems to vary by individual, but sometimes, they won't deliver if the recipient isn't in their records for that address, while others will deliver anything that has the correct address.
posted by yuwtze at 8:57 PM on February 18, 2023

Your Voter's Registration.
posted by spinifex23 at 9:46 PM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]

The IRS will get the info from Social Security, so there is no need to inform them.
posted by soelo at 10:06 PM on February 18, 2023 [3 favorites]

Libraries
Cell Phone provider
Loyalty Programs (optional for most, but frequent flyer programs need to match the name on your ticket)
Magazine Subscriptions

Maybe go through all of the cards in your wallet and see if anything rings a bell. You have the big ones taken care of, and honestly I still see things in my maiden name after many years and I only worry about updating the important ones.
posted by soelo at 10:12 PM on February 18, 2023

If you have children, make sure you update your name in their school files.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 4:55 AM on February 19, 2023

Just want to say that the ones you've labeled "in person" can certainly be done over the phone! (You probably knew that...)
posted by wisekaren at 5:27 AM on February 19, 2023

Any professional associations you belong to.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:46 AM on February 19, 2023

- Library
- REI and any other co-ops you belong to (warning: REI was the only entity that tried to refuse to change my name; other people report REI being really easy, so who knows)
- credit bureaus (ought to take care of itself because they use SSN, but results highly variable; better to change explicitly if you expect to need credit in the next several years)
- things like previous universities are optional (and some refuse to reissue diplomas); definitely change if you don't want to need to disclose your old name, but background check companies are good at asking "what was your name when you attended" (meaning "what name are the records under"
- the vet
- landlord

You only need to change stuff like frequent flier miles if you want to keep the record. I kept AA because I've had the account so long I have the number memorized and I kept DL because I flew DL a lot at the time. Everything else, I just recreated when the need arose. I didn't bother at all with stuff like Petsmart and other random things you need to sign up for to get sales prices.
posted by hoyland at 6:10 AM on February 19, 2023 [1 favorite]

Ooops, has anyone mentioned utilities? Not urgent--it took me three years to change the name on my electric bill, I think--but one you want to get squared away before moving.
posted by hoyland at 6:13 AM on February 19, 2023

There is nothing like changing your name to make you see just how many databases list you by name! I changed mine in the course of a gender transition almost 14 years ago, and I am still getting communications in my deadname. A couple of weeks ago, in fact, I received a thank-you letter for doing a peer review for the best-known gender journal in my discipline, addressed to my prior name (and signed by someone I've interacted with professionally multiple times since then, who didn't notice that the address and salutation misgendered me). That was more ironic than the standard fare, but the sort of thing that still takes place regularly.

About a quarter of the physical mail I receive today is addressed to my deadname. It comes from charities, political organizations, religious organizations, alumni associations, professional organizations--some of which I belonged to before my name change, and some of which purchased mailing lists from organizations I belonged to prior to transition. The question is, how much do you care about this stuff? If seeing your former name really bothers you, or makes you feel unsafe as neighbors see it, I'd say it's best to be prepared to respond to entities that communicate via physical mail with physical mail of your own asking them to update your information (or asking them to remove you from their mailing list).

More impactful of these loose networks of databases are ones that are maintained by entities related to your employment. For example, I'm an academic, and there turned out to be multiple databases related to my research activities that had to be updated, each maintained by a different entity (the human subjects review board; the office that oversees grant writing; the office that oversees grant funds; the experts' database maintained by the communications office). That's just one example--gender transition opened my eyes to the voluminous number of independent databases being operated by various units at my (admitted large) place of employment. And with regard to those databases, it can take some work to discover who is the person who actually does the maintenance of the database and is empowered to change names within it.

Adventure! Good luck to you navigating this maze. And congratulations on the name change!
posted by DrMew at 10:53 AM on February 19, 2023 [4 favorites]

Credit bureaus. I will skip my long and angry story about this but we discovered that one while sitting IN the car dealership.
posted by Lyn Never at 3:38 PM on February 19, 2023

I was able to change my name with my medical providers online (through their patient portals), but not Social Security - that I had to do in person. (This was in 2016, so YMMV). Also if I recall correctly this has to happen first - the DMV won't change your license without an updated Social Security Card, and most other places want an updated license.
posted by okayokayigive at 6:37 AM on February 20, 2023

Response by poster: Thanks! These are a lot of good tips I didn't think of.
posted by NotLost at 10:27 AM on February 20, 2023

Professional licensing, if that applies to you
posted by mosst at 6:42 AM on February 21, 2023