How do I make a cake when my resources are depleted?
February 17, 2023 6:37 PM Subscribe
I agreed to make a birthday cake for my uncle, who just turned 50. I am low on sleep and currently suffering from burnout that's healing very slowly. I would like to spend the day in bed, but I'm supposed to meet friends in the afternoon. The birthday party is tonight...so before 2pm, I guess I'm baking a cake. And it's gotta be special. How?
I'm looking forward to seeing my friends. The rest of the day sounds terrible. I can't ask my friends to help bake because transporting the cake to the friends or the friends to the cake is impossible. Trust me on this.
So is there any way to make a cake that's special enough for the occasion, but somehow magically super easy? I'm a decent baker and I have a reputation for making pretty cakes (dang it). I don't do crazy stuff though. Just a basic sponge, layer it with ganache or frosting, cover with frosting and decorate. Still, that's too much. And plus, my oven is not the best.
I have been procrastinating and had a work emergency yesterday. Now, it seems too late to bake the cake. But also way too late to say "Sorry, nope, not doing the cake." And a huge cake from the bakery would have to be ordered ahead around here.
I guess I'm asking for recipes or mental health advice :/
Thank you!
I'm looking forward to seeing my friends. The rest of the day sounds terrible. I can't ask my friends to help bake because transporting the cake to the friends or the friends to the cake is impossible. Trust me on this.
So is there any way to make a cake that's special enough for the occasion, but somehow magically super easy? I'm a decent baker and I have a reputation for making pretty cakes (dang it). I don't do crazy stuff though. Just a basic sponge, layer it with ganache or frosting, cover with frosting and decorate. Still, that's too much. And plus, my oven is not the best.
I have been procrastinating and had a work emergency yesterday. Now, it seems too late to bake the cake. But also way too late to say "Sorry, nope, not doing the cake." And a huge cake from the bakery would have to be ordered ahead around here.
I guess I'm asking for recipes or mental health advice :/
Thank you!
Best answer: Okay I don’t know if this will fly for you but this is my “panic” nice cake.
Bake 4 thinner layers of vanilla cake, each dyed a progressively darker shade of a colour.
Stack like a rainbow with layers of an appropriate jam in between (sour cherry is my go-to.) Usually I trim it here to reveal the colours,
Top with whipped cream and berries. No frosting. Kind of rustic feeling.
posted by warriorqueen at 6:53 PM on February 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
Bake 4 thinner layers of vanilla cake, each dyed a progressively darker shade of a colour.
Stack like a rainbow with layers of an appropriate jam in between (sour cherry is my go-to.) Usually I trim it here to reveal the colours,
Top with whipped cream and berries. No frosting. Kind of rustic feeling.
posted by warriorqueen at 6:53 PM on February 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
Best answer: Call around to local bakeries and check anyway. Maybe they have two medium cakes. Maybe they have 40 cupcakes you can buy. Or three of them have 15 cupcakes each and you can mix and match them on a cupcake tier.
I strongly encourage you to outsource this if possible. I would be utterly charmed if someone brought me a variety of small cakes.
posted by stray at 6:53 PM on February 17, 2023 [46 favorites]
I strongly encourage you to outsource this if possible. I would be utterly charmed if someone brought me a variety of small cakes.
posted by stray at 6:53 PM on February 17, 2023 [46 favorites]
Brownies? Or a cake mix that you add to like putting in pistachios or blueberries or chocolate chips or lemon zest. I once made a cute round cake in my rice cooker using blueberry muffin mix. It was adorably round. It would be nice with a lemon glaze. Or use store bought pound cake to make a fruit trifle. Use cookie cutters to make star shapes and put it in a pretty glass bowl
posted by coevals at 6:55 PM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by coevals at 6:55 PM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Butter Cake is pretty easy and delicious. Here is a recipe but I also recommend poking holes in the top of the cake with a knife so the glaze starts going down inside. This is for a Bundt pan but I saw some others for regular rectangular pans.
https://preppykitchen.com/butter-cake/
posted by cali59 at 7:01 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
https://preppykitchen.com/butter-cake/
posted by cali59 at 7:01 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
In my friend/family circle we had a tradition (it's kind of dying out) of theme cakes. The cake itself can be pretty average, a store-bought cake is fine, but then you decorate it with a little scene depicting something that's important to the person. Like, say, if your uncle in a huge Star Wars nut, you get some little action figures and pose them in a scene on the cake, then you maybe draw up a cartoon word balloon and tape it to a figure's head so the characters are talking about his birthday, or maybe you cut out a little picture of his head and tape it on one of the figures. If there's a movie prop or a car or a building or something he's really into you can probably find a papercraft model of it online, print it out and put it together in time to stick it on a plain ol' cake. Or you could cut out family photos and make a little diorama scene. It can be as ambitious or as goofy as you want. The important thing is that you're thinking of them very specifically, you're making a whole little scene to celebrate them, so even if the actual cake beneath that is nothing special the recipient is honored by the gesture.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 7:12 PM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Ursula Hitler at 7:12 PM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
Best answer: Giant chocolate-chip cookie baked in a cake pan or cast-iron pan is showy and feels like a deliberate clever twist rather than a cop-out, particularly if decorated.
Depending on your travel conditions, perhaps ice-cream bombe cake? Very fancy-looking, but pretty easy: just relies on layering bought ice-cream (with or without additions like chopped Oreos, candy, store-bought pound cake, etc.) in a mixing bowl, freezing, turning out and coating with ganache. It does require some freezing time, though, so would have to be started early.
Chocolate mousse piped into fancy stem plastic cups has a similar adult-treat vibe, plus presents nicely for a birthday if you group the cups on a nice platter and stick a candle in each one.
posted by Bardolph at 7:13 PM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Depending on your travel conditions, perhaps ice-cream bombe cake? Very fancy-looking, but pretty easy: just relies on layering bought ice-cream (with or without additions like chopped Oreos, candy, store-bought pound cake, etc.) in a mixing bowl, freezing, turning out and coating with ganache. It does require some freezing time, though, so would have to be started early.
Chocolate mousse piped into fancy stem plastic cups has a similar adult-treat vibe, plus presents nicely for a birthday if you group the cups on a nice platter and stick a candle in each one.
posted by Bardolph at 7:13 PM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Best answer: If you're burned out, it's perfectly acceptable to just buy a cake from a bakery, instead of making one from scratch.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 7:15 PM on February 17, 2023 [24 favorites]
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 7:15 PM on February 17, 2023 [24 favorites]
Best answer: Much like the cupcakes idea, how about a stack of donuts?
My wedding cake was a tower if twelve dozen ring donuts, fresh baked from the store. With a side of home made chocolate fondu, for the 80 or so wedding guests we had to our reception.
The store gave me a bulk discount on the donuts. Fondu was easy. People just helped themselves (after our obligatory 'cutting the cake').
It was fancy in a non-fancy way. Was comparatively cheap. Also very easy to organise and 'make on the day'.
So if you're low on spoons, could you pick up a bunch of donuts on route?
posted by many-things at 7:28 PM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
My wedding cake was a tower if twelve dozen ring donuts, fresh baked from the store. With a side of home made chocolate fondu, for the 80 or so wedding guests we had to our reception.
The store gave me a bulk discount on the donuts. Fondu was easy. People just helped themselves (after our obligatory 'cutting the cake').
It was fancy in a non-fancy way. Was comparatively cheap. Also very easy to organise and 'make on the day'.
So if you're low on spoons, could you pick up a bunch of donuts on route?
posted by many-things at 7:28 PM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
Wacky cake recipe. Delicious, unusual, dead simple. Frosting and pecans are optional. Hang in there.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 7:31 PM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 7:31 PM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Get a cake from costco, but get some bright colored icing. Write his name on the cake like grafitti, or like on a prison cell, with an exclamation point. Then make little icing stripes for the years of his age in fives, just like on a cell wall. If you can think of some other things, symbols, but this is easy.
posted by Oyéah at 7:31 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Oyéah at 7:31 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Crepe Stack Cake
Ingredients:
- pre-made crepes, about 20-30 to approximate a regular 10-in cake.
- jar of lemon, curd or nice jam.
- whipped cream, premade or make your own since that's the easiest ingredient to make and from-scratch is delicious. For a richer variation, mix with mascarpone.
To assemble:
Stack the crepes one at a time, spreading a thin amount of whipped cream between each layer. Every three to five crepes spread the lemon curd or jam instead of whipped cream. Top with the rest of whipped cream, or edible flowers, or a few twists of lemon rind. Here's a picture. Here's another variation. Do not make your own crepes!
posted by cocoagirl at 7:34 PM on February 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
Ingredients:
- pre-made crepes, about 20-30 to approximate a regular 10-in cake.
- jar of lemon, curd or nice jam.
- whipped cream, premade or make your own since that's the easiest ingredient to make and from-scratch is delicious. For a richer variation, mix with mascarpone.
To assemble:
Stack the crepes one at a time, spreading a thin amount of whipped cream between each layer. Every three to five crepes spread the lemon curd or jam instead of whipped cream. Top with the rest of whipped cream, or edible flowers, or a few twists of lemon rind. Here's a picture. Here's another variation. Do not make your own crepes!
posted by cocoagirl at 7:34 PM on February 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
cake mix cake. frost with sweetened whipped cream. if you have some strawberries or other appropriate topping to pop on top (sprinkles are fun) then great, but not necessary. This is the easiest and the best.
NB if you are using sprinkles put them on right before serving, they do melt into whipped cream.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:51 PM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
NB if you are using sprinkles put them on right before serving, they do melt into whipped cream.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:51 PM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
Super easy yet very special: pre-baked angel food cake, strawberries, and a can of whipped cream.
The main job is to macerate the strawberries: dice them, sprinkle sugar over them. Let it all sit 30 minutes until a lovely syrup develops. Add a glug of Kirsch or Cassis liqueur if you have it.
Bonus: get a tub of premium vanilla ice cream as a side.
posted by dum spiro spero at 7:58 PM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
The main job is to macerate the strawberries: dice them, sprinkle sugar over them. Let it all sit 30 minutes until a lovely syrup develops. Add a glug of Kirsch or Cassis liqueur if you have it.
Bonus: get a tub of premium vanilla ice cream as a side.
posted by dum spiro spero at 7:58 PM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I think there's nothing more charming than a stack of doughnuts. Buy a dozen or two, arrange them in a (solid or haphazard) tower and off you go. If you want to make it slightly more festive, you could buy a dozen flowers at the supermarket/bodega/wherever you get cheap flowers and kinda thread them in the stack festively.
Or turn it into an ice cream fest: get a few flavors, some sprinkles and chocolate chips, a squeeze bottle of chocolate sauce and a can of ready-made whipped cream. Everyone makes their own sundae.
posted by BlahLaLa at 8:03 PM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Or turn it into an ice cream fest: get a few flavors, some sprinkles and chocolate chips, a squeeze bottle of chocolate sauce and a can of ready-made whipped cream. Everyone makes their own sundae.
posted by BlahLaLa at 8:03 PM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
You have this internet stranger's permission to just buy a cake or cakes. Hopefully your uncle will understand that something came up and you couldn't do it. Maybe offer to make a cake for another occasion if he's going to be disappointed in lack of home made cake.
Alternatively buy a plain sponge or 2 if they have those where you are and decorate it.
posted by pianissimo at 8:30 PM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
Alternatively buy a plain sponge or 2 if they have those where you are and decorate it.
posted by pianissimo at 8:30 PM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
Best answer: I think this Denver Chocolate Sheet Cake recipe (which is identical to the one I got from the NY Times) is very good and it's pretty quick and easy. (I don't use nuts in the frosting. But including nuts might make it seem fancier without you having to do any decoration.)
Or just go with brownies (Smitten Kitchen brownies are my favorite.) Don't you think most people really like brownies better than cake? Tell people you decided to go with delicious rather than fancy. I'm sure you will get no complaints. Maybe you can set them out on a platter in the shape of his first initial or the number 50. Or if you feel ambitious enough, make frosting, cut the brownies small and stack them in pairs with frosting in between - each person can have their own individual rich, fudgy mini-cake.
posted by Redstart at 8:39 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Or just go with brownies (Smitten Kitchen brownies are my favorite.) Don't you think most people really like brownies better than cake? Tell people you decided to go with delicious rather than fancy. I'm sure you will get no complaints. Maybe you can set them out on a platter in the shape of his first initial or the number 50. Or if you feel ambitious enough, make frosting, cut the brownies small and stack them in pairs with frosting in between - each person can have their own individual rich, fudgy mini-cake.
posted by Redstart at 8:39 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: This cake mix doesn't require eggs, just water, and it's good: Betty Crocker Angel Food Cake Mix.
*** This idea doesn't require that you decorate or assemble the cake - that can be done by others at the party, very easily. ***
You, or someone who will help assemble the cake at the party if you can get help, also buy:
- at least a pint of whipping cream, the kind you whip yourself. Organic tastes best.
- a decent quantity of berries - maybe 2 pints or more; you can always eat the extras later. Strawberries are too much trouble to clean and slice; I recommend (organic, he's 50 after all) blueberries, raspberries, and/or blackberries.
--
It is very possible to delegate a lot of this: someone else who's coming to the party can be in charge of bringing berries and/or whipping cream at the party -- it only takes 4 minutes -- and someone else can assemble everything. You could bake the mix, be in charge, and be done.
--
The only slight hurdle is what pan to use:
Fill a bowl with water, dump the berries in to wash them, then put the berries into a travel container with some paper towel in the bottom.
A few minutes before leaving, put the cream in a travel bowl and whip it with a little sugar (and a touch of almond extract - like 1/4 tsp. - if you have it).
Bring everything to the party in a large re-usable grocery bag and have someone else assemble it. They can use extra berries to decorate on top.
Good luck.
I promise this is absolutely delicious.
posted by amtho at 8:48 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
*** This idea doesn't require that you decorate or assemble the cake - that can be done by others at the party, very easily. ***
You, or someone who will help assemble the cake at the party if you can get help, also buy:
- at least a pint of whipping cream, the kind you whip yourself. Organic tastes best.
- a decent quantity of berries - maybe 2 pints or more; you can always eat the extras later. Strawberries are too much trouble to clean and slice; I recommend (organic, he's 50 after all) blueberries, raspberries, and/or blackberries.
--
It is very possible to delegate a lot of this: someone else who's coming to the party can be in charge of bringing berries and/or whipping cream at the party -- it only takes 4 minutes -- and someone else can assemble everything. You could bake the mix, be in charge, and be done.
--
The only slight hurdle is what pan to use:
pan info:Once you have your angel food cake, maybe slice it in half horizontally.
It doesn't have to be that much of a pain.
Easiest case, borrow a tube pan from a neighbor (or buy one).
I have had success with a _large_ loaf pan.
Two regular circular cake pans might work, actually, but you won't get as much pure-white center.
You can also construct a tube pan using a large circular cake pan, an empty metal can, and a bunch of foil, but that may or may not be fun for you.
Fill a bowl with water, dump the berries in to wash them, then put the berries into a travel container with some paper towel in the bottom.
A few minutes before leaving, put the cream in a travel bowl and whip it with a little sugar (and a touch of almond extract - like 1/4 tsp. - if you have it).
Bring everything to the party in a large re-usable grocery bag and have someone else assemble it. They can use extra berries to decorate on top.
Good luck.
I promise this is absolutely delicious.
posted by amtho at 8:48 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Bonus: if you make extra whipping cream, you can add a little cocoa powder to it and have instant chocolate mousse, which is delicious (even if it's not the most authentic thing in the world). If you added the almond extract, it's even better.
Check the sweetness level and be prepared to add _confectioner's_ sugar to the "mousse" to sweeten it up.
What I recommend: make this first, then you eat it all, _then_ bake the angel food cake.
posted by amtho at 8:52 PM on February 17, 2023
Check the sweetness level and be prepared to add _confectioner's_ sugar to the "mousse" to sweeten it up.
What I recommend: make this first, then you eat it all, _then_ bake the angel food cake.
posted by amtho at 8:52 PM on February 17, 2023
Add a few things to a boxed cake mix and bake in a Bundt pan. It's as easy as boxed but feels fancy and tastes better.
I like this lemon Bundt cake that uses lemon cake mix and lemon pudding plus fresh lemon juice.
Pick your mix flavour and google "blank cake mix with pudding" for recipes.
posted by dazedandconfused at 9:28 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
I like this lemon Bundt cake that uses lemon cake mix and lemon pudding plus fresh lemon juice.
Pick your mix flavour and google "blank cake mix with pudding" for recipes.
posted by dazedandconfused at 9:28 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
What is in some recipes called a chocolate idiot cake because it's foolproof, aka flourless chocolate cake, has saved me many times, including when I was basically sleepwalking. Get good dark chocolate like Lindt. This recipe is: melt a few things in the microwave, pour it into a pan with a couple other things and bake it. (Using a water bath for the springform pan is the most labor of the recipe.) When it's cooled, you don't need frosting. Decorate with fresh berries, and you're good. I love how this cake looks very fancy and glossy and elegant but really I find this easier than a boxed cake mix.
posted by ojocaliente at 9:47 PM on February 17, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by ojocaliente at 9:47 PM on February 17, 2023 [11 favorites]
Best answer: +many to the idea of donuts, or cupcakes, or an array of nice chocolates and strawberries, or anything else you can buy. Someone who loves and cares about you would want you to take rest before expending energy for their party. (If the making of a cake is particularly important to *you* as a personal gesture and you do find something to buy, you could make them an IOU or Admit One For Cake ticket or some other sweet piece of paper promising to make them a cake on a day when you have enough spoons.)
If buying really isn’t a possibility, do you have enough time for the 4-hour refrigeration of an icebox cake? It only needs the layering of cookies and whipped cream (doesn’t need to be homemade!). Garnish with cut strawberries, for ease and color? You could tell them that you’ve been researching historical recipes, and wanted to try this one because it was derisively called “flapper cake”, with the implication that Modern Girls were too busy jazzing and smoking cigarettes and voting and whatnot to learn Proper Homemaking Skills.
I hope you get the rest you need!
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 10:00 PM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
If buying really isn’t a possibility, do you have enough time for the 4-hour refrigeration of an icebox cake? It only needs the layering of cookies and whipped cream (doesn’t need to be homemade!). Garnish with cut strawberries, for ease and color? You could tell them that you’ve been researching historical recipes, and wanted to try this one because it was derisively called “flapper cake”, with the implication that Modern Girls were too busy jazzing and smoking cigarettes and voting and whatnot to learn Proper Homemaking Skills.
I hope you get the rest you need!
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 10:00 PM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
This cake is really very easy but feels fancy and deluxe, especially if you put a huge pile of raspberries on top of it once it's done. I am no baker but my kids annoyingly love the idea of a homemade cake for their birthday and this is one they've requested repeatedly. I genuinely don't mind making it and I genuinely hate baking most of the time.
posted by potrzebie at 10:56 PM on February 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by potrzebie at 10:56 PM on February 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
Best answer: I think one important step is just to release yourself from the prison of believing that you have to be the person who always makes perfect and amazing and dazzling cakes. Or that your friends have the expectation that you spend a day in the kitchen whipping up some amazing and enchanting delight. Sometimes you are that person, and that's great. But today you are just the friend that they want to see and visit and catch up with and talk to and you are bringing a cake. Maybe it's the simplest cake ever, maybe it comes from a box and isn't even iced. Let them be delighted to see you - You!
Also, release yourself from believing that your friends expect this from you. They probably don't. As a non-baker I am easily pleased with any cake provided that I didn't have to make it myself, and honestly I couldn't assess cake quality to save my life.
posted by lulu68 at 11:14 PM on February 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
Also, release yourself from believing that your friends expect this from you. They probably don't. As a non-baker I am easily pleased with any cake provided that I didn't have to make it myself, and honestly I couldn't assess cake quality to save my life.
posted by lulu68 at 11:14 PM on February 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
Best answer: No cake recommendations, but for me having to clean up the kitchen after baking can be enough to make me not cook or bake. Don’t wash anything or even put it in the dishwasher until tomorrow, just stack everything in a corner. Don’t wipe the counters off either. The cleanup can wait!
posted by waving at 1:16 AM on February 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by waving at 1:16 AM on February 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
If you go with an angel food cake, here's a frosting that is amazingly delicious. It's a recipe from the 70's that my mother used to make, and I still on occasion make because despite the ingredients it's actually delicious:
One regular sized tub of cool whip topping (MUST BE FULLY THAWED)
one box of Instant vanilla pudding (must be instant)
one can crushed pineapple
Drain the crushed pineapple and use the juice to mix with the vanilla pudding mix. When thoroughly mixed, add the entire container of cool whip and the crushed pineapple pieces and stir til well combined. Frost on premade angel food cake.
Last time I made this for a friends birthday (upon request, they'd had it at a cook out at my place the previous year), I decorated by using fresh cut flowers in the middle and around the bottom edges of the cake. Was a huge success.
One thing about angel food cakes, you need at the very least a very good serrated knife to cut, or ideally an electric knife or one of those angel food cake cutter things that looks kind of like a hair pick.
You can also double this recipe and use it for a four layer naked edge cake. If you use white cake mix (or in this case two boxes for a four layer), you get a really good seems like from scratch wedding cake tasting cake if you use whole eggs rather than just whites as the directions say, and brush the tops of the sponges with a simple syrup before frosting (I usually add some grand marnier or triple sec, any flavored liquor will do) to give the cakes a bakery feel.
posted by newpotato at 1:57 AM on February 18, 2023 [5 favorites]
One regular sized tub of cool whip topping (MUST BE FULLY THAWED)
one box of Instant vanilla pudding (must be instant)
one can crushed pineapple
Drain the crushed pineapple and use the juice to mix with the vanilla pudding mix. When thoroughly mixed, add the entire container of cool whip and the crushed pineapple pieces and stir til well combined. Frost on premade angel food cake.
Last time I made this for a friends birthday (upon request, they'd had it at a cook out at my place the previous year), I decorated by using fresh cut flowers in the middle and around the bottom edges of the cake. Was a huge success.
One thing about angel food cakes, you need at the very least a very good serrated knife to cut, or ideally an electric knife or one of those angel food cake cutter things that looks kind of like a hair pick.
You can also double this recipe and use it for a four layer naked edge cake. If you use white cake mix (or in this case two boxes for a four layer), you get a really good seems like from scratch wedding cake tasting cake if you use whole eggs rather than just whites as the directions say, and brush the tops of the sponges with a simple syrup before frosting (I usually add some grand marnier or triple sec, any flavored liquor will do) to give the cakes a bakery feel.
posted by newpotato at 1:57 AM on February 18, 2023 [5 favorites]
Best answer: I don't know what time zone you're in, so there's every chance this is too late, but on the mental health advice front:
Call a friend while you work. Video call with the phone/laptop/tablet propped up in the kitchen, or audio call with a headset or earbuds so you can stick the phone in your pocket and keep your hands free. Chat to the friend the whole time you're making the cake. Doesn't have to be about what you're doing.
If there isn't someone you can call, listen to a podcast or find something on Netflix that doesn't demand your full attention.
The idea is to give yourself something to occupy the parts of your brain that might otherwise be ruminating unhelpfully and getting in your way while you try to make the cake.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 3:40 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
Call a friend while you work. Video call with the phone/laptop/tablet propped up in the kitchen, or audio call with a headset or earbuds so you can stick the phone in your pocket and keep your hands free. Chat to the friend the whole time you're making the cake. Doesn't have to be about what you're doing.
If there isn't someone you can call, listen to a podcast or find something on Netflix that doesn't demand your full attention.
The idea is to give yourself something to occupy the parts of your brain that might otherwise be ruminating unhelpfully and getting in your way while you try to make the cake.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 3:40 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
If my friend were having a hard time and needed to make a cake for a family event that night, I would change our midday plans to go to their place and help them make a cake in a heartbeat. Any chance your friends would do the same?
posted by misskaz at 5:43 AM on February 18, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by misskaz at 5:43 AM on February 18, 2023 [7 favorites]
I have asked a similar question.
For me, the cake itself can happily be a well-baked mix. I love add-ins. pastry cream, fudgy chocolate, caramel, strawberries, etc. topping a cake with raspberries and powdered sugar makes it look so fancy.
posted by theora55 at 8:27 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
For me, the cake itself can happily be a well-baked mix. I love add-ins. pastry cream, fudgy chocolate, caramel, strawberries, etc. topping a cake with raspberries and powdered sugar makes it look so fancy.
posted by theora55 at 8:27 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
Probably too late but: trifle. Store bought pound cake, cubed, variety of berries, whipped cream (add in a bit of sour cream or mascarpone if you wanna get fancy!), dropped into a clear bowl or serving vessel. It is an EVENT, have some berries and whipped cream on the side for people to mess with ratios.
posted by punchtothehead at 8:41 AM on February 18, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by punchtothehead at 8:41 AM on February 18, 2023 [4 favorites]
Trifle is a great idea! You can buy a swiss roll and cut it up into slices and line a glass bowl with the slices before filling with whipped cream or custard and fruit. It looks and tastes beautiful.
posted by unicorn chaser at 8:45 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by unicorn chaser at 8:45 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
If you are set on baking the cake, then I second the Wacky cake recipe that Orange Dinosaur Slide linked.
I can literally have it mixed and in the pan in the time that it takes the oven to warm up.
Double the recipe, buy a jar of Nutella, and stack it up.
posted by snoboy at 10:54 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
I can literally have it mixed and in the pan in the time that it takes the oven to warm up.
Double the recipe, buy a jar of Nutella, and stack it up.
posted by snoboy at 10:54 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
I love that Chocolate Idiot Cake but it cracked right across the top the first and honestly almost every time I've made it so I usually cut it up and turn it into brownies now. I would not do anything that is deeply sensitive to overcooking or getting timing right (nothing in a bain marie, nothing you cook until "just barely set", etc)
Box mix. Funfetti maybe. Red velvet mix. Pick something that looks a little unusual if you want to be special.
If you are comfortable making ganache or icing, do homemade icing, if not, buy some or use whipped cream (this is stylish, good call).
To make it special, top with something: fruit, chocolate ganache, Andes mints, Oreo cookies (crushed Oreos scattered across the top for bonus fancy points). But the base boxed cake mixes are very good and most of us would be glad if a homemade cake came out as well as those do, so don't feel a pressure there that from scratch is necessarily better.
posted by Lady Li at 11:50 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
Box mix. Funfetti maybe. Red velvet mix. Pick something that looks a little unusual if you want to be special.
If you are comfortable making ganache or icing, do homemade icing, if not, buy some or use whipped cream (this is stylish, good call).
To make it special, top with something: fruit, chocolate ganache, Andes mints, Oreo cookies (crushed Oreos scattered across the top for bonus fancy points). But the base boxed cake mixes are very good and most of us would be glad if a homemade cake came out as well as those do, so don't feel a pressure there that from scratch is necessarily better.
posted by Lady Li at 11:50 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: and I know I'm surely too late for today! Alas. But I would say, do the simplest thing you know you can execute on.
And if you did end up picking up a couple of bakery cakes or a sheet cake, and said you ended up having a last minute disaster or things didn't work out so you went with the backup plan, that would be ok too! If they really wanted a super fancy bakery quality custom cake, they wouldn't have gone with a family member who is just figuring out how to do it, they should have gone with a pro or talked with you ahead of time to make a specific plan. Leaving it all on you to figure out means you get to decide which corners get cut, and if the only thing that goes wrong with his birthday party is a store bought cake or something not fancy enough then the party will have been a roaring success.
posted by Lady Li at 11:55 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
And if you did end up picking up a couple of bakery cakes or a sheet cake, and said you ended up having a last minute disaster or things didn't work out so you went with the backup plan, that would be ok too! If they really wanted a super fancy bakery quality custom cake, they wouldn't have gone with a family member who is just figuring out how to do it, they should have gone with a pro or talked with you ahead of time to make a specific plan. Leaving it all on you to figure out means you get to decide which corners get cut, and if the only thing that goes wrong with his birthday party is a store bought cake or something not fancy enough then the party will have been a roaring success.
posted by Lady Li at 11:55 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: MetaFilter is so great! Thanks!
Reading through your answers, it became clear to me that what I was dreading the most was dealing with the oven, following the steps of a recipe, and getting supplies. So I ended up ordering a stack of crepes, which I layered with cream and raspberry jam and topped with cream and sprinkles. It was certainly not my prettiest or tastiest cake, but it was quick, I could handle the simple steps, and it was fine. Much preferable to putting myself through hell. In fact, I think I learned from this that next time, it's actually okay to just buy a stack of donuts as well. I wasn't quite there yet. But I am no longer such a prisoner to being the bearer of pretty cakes, and I've already decided to do an ice-cream bomb for an upcoming family party. Maybe I can be the bearer of low-effort tasty cakes for a while! There's worse things to be.
All of your answers were so kind. Thanks, I really appreciate the support. I marked as "Best Answer" those I ended up using bits of, but I could easily have marked all.
posted by toucan at 3:02 PM on February 20, 2023 [12 favorites]
Reading through your answers, it became clear to me that what I was dreading the most was dealing with the oven, following the steps of a recipe, and getting supplies. So I ended up ordering a stack of crepes, which I layered with cream and raspberry jam and topped with cream and sprinkles. It was certainly not my prettiest or tastiest cake, but it was quick, I could handle the simple steps, and it was fine. Much preferable to putting myself through hell. In fact, I think I learned from this that next time, it's actually okay to just buy a stack of donuts as well. I wasn't quite there yet. But I am no longer such a prisoner to being the bearer of pretty cakes, and I've already decided to do an ice-cream bomb for an upcoming family party. Maybe I can be the bearer of low-effort tasty cakes for a while! There's worse things to be.
All of your answers were so kind. Thanks, I really appreciate the support. I marked as "Best Answer" those I ended up using bits of, but I could easily have marked all.
posted by toucan at 3:02 PM on February 20, 2023 [12 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by sillysally at 6:50 PM on February 17, 2023 [7 favorites]