Where are the intentionally unrealistic fake plants?

January 9, 2023 8:33 AM

Are there houseplant equivalents to the pink tinsel tree?

My beloved snake plant, Melinda Snakes, succumbed to a fungal disease last week. The last survivor in my house is an aloe who steadfastly defies the confines of mortality.

I want more plants in my house, but I am tired of feeling plant guilt and personal guilt after repeated plant deaths. So I am looking for fakes.

There's a ton of stuff out there on the most realistic houseplants, but I just want to be honest with myself. I don't want an poor quality attempt at a real plant, but I also don't want a plant that looks so real that I feel like I'm hiding from the world some secret shame that I'm not the best at keeping plants alive.

Are there any fake houseplants out there that just fabulously unrealistic? Either through intentional falseness or very realistic versions of fantastical plants that just don't exist?

posted by donut_princess to Shopping (17 answers total)

I have been filling my house with plants and flowers from the Lego Botanical Collection for the past couple of years. Everyone loves them and none of the plants have died yet.

The orchid is particularly beautiful and realistic but all of them are wonderful.
posted by bondcliff at 8:40 AM on January 9, 2023 [44 favorites]

Best answer: I love this question! Maybe a fake colorful bonsai? Or, ok the price is pretty ridiculous but a fake cherry blossom tree. Super fake but funny Venus flytrap. Crochet plants seem to be a thing right now too. silly example or more serious.
posted by Eyelash at 8:50 AM on January 9, 2023 [3 favorites]

"gemstone tree" is a genre of plant art/display pieces, see eg here on etsy.
posted by SaltySalticid at 8:58 AM on January 9, 2023 [4 favorites]

Dried arrangements, sometimes dyed or spray painted, are very fashionable right now.
posted by Hypatia at 8:59 AM on January 9, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: You want Caroline Byrne of Brazen Botany.
posted by dobbs at 9:35 AM on January 9, 2023 [15 favorites]

In the same vein, Livia Cetti also makes very nice paper plants.
posted by sagc at 9:44 AM on January 9, 2023

Our friend has a solar powered toy plant that seems a perfect answer to your question.
posted by metonym at 9:50 AM on January 9, 2023

Also, felt houseplants -- if you are crafty, you could probably construct some of these yourself pretty easily too.
posted by librarina at 10:02 AM on January 9, 2023 [4 favorites]

You could do something with big feather plumes?

Faux cherry blossoms are nice and bright

Pampas grass is already dried so you can't kill it, and it's sculptural and fun

Or make an arrangement of interesting sticks (driftwood?) with felt leaves, folded paper leaves, or fake butterflies, little birds, felt hearts, or even money tied to it.

Looking at handmade baby mobiles on Etsy might give you fun ideas... you could use the same motifs, and instead of hanging from above, just mount them from the bottom on something rigid like a wire or branch and then it will look like a little tree. A scenic tableau like this seascape, with each element separately mounted from below, with seaweed, lots of fish, and bubbles, might be fun.

Crochet plants

And these tend to be on the small side due to the constraints of the material, but they are super cool: stained-glass 3D succulents. Look at this arrangement!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 10:09 AM on January 9, 2023 [4 favorites]

Best answer: I was very taken by some plush houseplants I saw at a toy store next to the usual stuffed animals recently.

I believe they were these from Jellycat.
posted by Xalf at 11:14 AM on January 9, 2023 [6 favorites]

A local nursery was selling bouquets of dried lavender sprigs and I bought one and divided it into 3 different vases around the house, and I'm liking it so far!
posted by rivenwanderer at 11:52 AM on January 9, 2023

Try your local dollar store. They usually have artificial flowers in a back corner. Just look for the ones with the least naturalistic attributes (wild neon colours for example). This can become an ongoing quest--every discount store you pop into will have a different selection and that selection will change throughout the season.
posted by sardonyx at 12:45 PM on January 9, 2023 [1 favorite]

Micheal's and other craft stores often have foliage/flowers completely encrusted with *glitter*
posted by euphoria066 at 3:31 PM on January 9, 2023 [2 favorites]

Glass flowers are lovely, and this place is having a sale right this minute on some lovely light up options, eucalyptus or roses.

There are also a bunch of lovely stained glass succulents on Etsy.
posted by gideonfrog at 4:16 PM on January 9, 2023 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: These are all great! Thanks everyone!
posted by donut_princess at 6:12 PM on January 9, 2023

Along the lines of plants that are actually lamps, they make these gold LED trees for events that are actually fabulous year-round. I got a similar one from this company a couple years ago, when winter was too dark for me, and it's been great to brighten my space.
posted by limeonaire at 7:48 PM on January 10, 2023

My wife has done an amazing job of keeping the Baby Groot Funko POP! seedling alive on her desk since it came out... it is the longest lasting plant on her desk... Not the Christmas tree one - the one in the pot...
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:33 PM on January 12, 2023