Have you ever explored a religious vocation?

December 21, 2022 6:51 PM

Do you work in ministry, and/or have you ever had a call from God urging you to make a big change in your life? What advice can you give me?

A few years ago, I was on paper an infant-baptised Christian and faith played little to no role in my life. A growing vocational sense, coupled with two very distinct “Call from God” moments seems to have put me on a new path.

Before lockdown I started going to church regularly and little by little getting to know people, but I wasn’t really finding quite the right thing. Online worship during lockdown didn’t work for me, but during that time I worked on my own faith and what it meant to me using books and online resources and a couple of friends who are themselves religious leaders, until I felt very secure. I am just restarting conversations with my local church community, and have discussed where I am at with the vicar, but this is still a situation I never thought I would find myself in so I wondered if any mefites had anything to say on the matter. My context is CofE Christian, but I would welcome any perspectives.

posted by Erinaceus europaeus to Grab Bag (13 answers total)

I like what you're doing so far. But I would also recommend prayer. Context: member of the CC.
posted by Stuka at 9:41 PM on December 21, 2022 [2 favorites]

It sounds like you have had extremely limited experience actually being a committed member of a faith community, which is a remarkably different experience from thinking about theology in solitude. (And to be "very secure" in your faith after only two years suggests a convert's early zeal, rather than a mature and settled faith.) I'm only speaking as a very lapsed Episcopalian with a very pious family, but I would be surprised if your spiritual directors did not counsel you to spend a few years cultivating a life in a church community before doing anything like taking orders. The CoE does have solitaries, but I believe you're supposed to come to that way of life through the community rather than direct.
posted by praemunire at 10:20 PM on December 21, 2022 [9 favorites]

I can't speak for religious vocation, but author Gregg LeVoy is a good one to read about with regards to callings.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:13 PM on December 21, 2022

I'm Roman Catholic, and I thought very seriously about becoming a nun when I was in high school. Ultimately, I decided that I was OK with poverty and chastity, but I didn't want to take a vow of obedience. I do have a few suggestions for resources for thinking about a religious calling.

Sister Miriam Heidland has a lot of youtube videos, some of which are about vocation. She does a deep dive into her own decision on the Pints with Aquinas podcast. It is two hours long, and she talks about a lot of other things too, including her struggles with addiction.

Sister Helen Prejean (of Dead Man Walking) has a book called River of Fire about her life as an activist in which she writes about her decision to become a nun.

And Mary Gilligan Wong wrote Nun, a memoir about becoming a nun in the 50s, but ultimately leaving that life. I thought it might be helpful for you to read something by a person who ultimately decided the religious life was not for her, though religious life now would be very different from what she went through.

(Sorry all of my examples are nuns - I'm figuring those are still about vocation. You don't mention gender, so I don't know specifically what kind of religious life you are thinking about. )

Oh - Thomas Merton's The Seven Story Mountain is a classic about deciding on a religious vocation.

Also, before COVID, I stayed at an Episcopal monastery for a few days. A lot of monasteries let people come for retreats, and being around different people who have chosen a religious vocation could also be helpful. I wasn't thinking about entering religious life when I stayed there, but it was still a great experience for me and I would love to do it again. You could look for monasteries in your area to see whether they offer retreats. Or maybe your Vicar will have a suggestion.

I hope you are able to come to a decision that feels right to you.
posted by FencingGal at 3:31 AM on December 22, 2022 [7 favorites]

The poet Jay Hulme has been on a similar journey to yours, with the added bonus of being trans in the UK right now. His writing is beautiful and thoughtful. The best advice I can personally offer is to keep listening to your call and keep being open to how your vocation may change over time.
posted by hydropsyche at 4:18 AM on December 22, 2022 [2 favorites]

I'm a Unitarian and many of my friends are ministers. It is not at all unusual for someone to join one of our congregations because they feel a call to ministry. Many of those people do become ministers, but they are always recommended to spend a considerable amount of time within a congregation to take away any idealised views about congregations and so they have a better understanding of what a minister actually does.

Yes, you probably need to cultivate your personal spiritual life, but you also need to really understand what a congregation is like in community, and ideally more than one congregation. If you feel your call is leading you towards ordination, then you really need to have a good sense of what it means to be in religious leadership. If you are called to communal life in some way, then speak to people who have taken those vows. In either case, being properly embedded in the communal spiritual life of a particular 'ordinary' congregation will help embed your faith in context.
posted by plonkee at 4:50 AM on December 22, 2022 [2 favorites]

I'll throw in my perspective as a member of the horde of America's burned out ex-pastors: I would advise you to take the time to discern whether the calling you feel can be answered in any way other than vocational ministry. Is there a helping profession you can enter that would scratch that itch? Volunteer work? Can you become active in some ministry that your church does? It may be that you just really need to be in the ministry, but it is also very common to feel something that gets interpreted as a call to ministry, but is really a call to more purposeful work or a more meaningful life or to contribute directly to helping people. Clergy drop-out numbers are enormous.. The vast majority of the people who spend years (and $$$) getting their seminary education and jumping through the hoops to be ordained in their preferred tradition are going to leave ministry before a decade has passed. And those numbers are only getting worse as ministry is less and less respected by the general public and churches get smaller and smaller while budgets get tighter and tighter. It's a hard job.

Maybe it's a hard job that is perfect for you! Maybe you're exactly the right person to take up the mantle of ministry in this era. But most people who think it's for them change their minds, pretty quickly, when seminary is over and the actual work begins. Ministry is all I ever wanted to do. I was completely dedicated to it. I went beyond seminary to get my doctorate in ministry. Every church I led grew while I was there, defying the trends. On paper, it looks like I'd be one of the ones who did it forever. I lasted eight years.

I really don't want to discourage you, but I'm telling you what I wish someone had told me back when it would have been easy to change paths. If I could do my life over, I'd've gone to medical school and thrown my time and money at good causes. I can also report that as the world's most over-qualified church volunteer, I receive a lot more satisfaction volunteering at church while I get my paycheck somewhere else than I ever did as a pastor. YMMV, of course. But most seminary grads have a story like mine. The single most likely long term result of a ministry career is burn-out and an unplanned career change down the road. Understand that before you start.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 7:32 AM on December 22, 2022 [22 favorites]

Another slightly left-field thing to suggest, but if your history of religious practice is as you describe, you might want to consider whether the Church of England as a denomination is the best fit for your calling. As the state church they are very ubiquitous in England and there are many ways in which they are the only realistic choice - for example if you are a woman called to ministry whose theology is sacramental. But other denominations can offer a wider range of opportunities to serve. For example, there are free church denominations in which there is a less strong lay and clerical divide, and you can lead worship as a lay person on the same basis as a called minister. If you tend to a low church theology (whether liberal or evangelical) you might find a better fit elsewhere.
posted by plonkee at 9:00 AM on December 22, 2022

I'm on a similar journey as well... born and raised Catholic, converted to Quakerism as an adult. I've recently completed a graduate certificate program at a theological seminary. That program helped me a great deal to discern my calling in a structured way.

I would offer to you, as others are saying, that you have a very wide range of possible directions to take. (And you can change your mind along the way!) Make sure that you are practicing good listening within yourself and in your context - "good" meaning faithful to your own calling as you understand it.
posted by sockshaveholes at 9:11 AM on December 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

Although I attended public schools, your post made me realize that my two favorite teachers were ex-clergy. My grade 4 teacher was a former Catholic nun, and my junior high through high school Latin teacher was a seminary graduate who had planned to become a Catholic priest but felt called to teach instead. Looking back, I can see how their faith experiences shaped their teaching for the better. It's really sort of a similar thing, isn't it?

I can't imagine that the burnout rates for teachers are any better than for the clergy, but it might be worth thinking about teaching as orthogonal to being a religious leader.
posted by easy, lucky, free at 9:51 AM on December 22, 2022

Response by poster: To clarify I meant vocation in the sense of the Church of England: what you are called by God to be and to do. This could mean ordained or lay ministry or a religious order or a range of other roles.

@stuka what is CC?
posted by Erinaceus europaeus at 3:55 PM on December 22, 2022

Right before I popped in here I read this from a friend: https://spiritualityshoppe.org/noticing-guidance-a-brief-guide-to-discerning-gods-will-in-the-midst-of-big-decisions/
posted by attercoppe at 12:15 AM on December 23, 2022

Best answer: I am currently on the path to ordination in the Anglican Communion (God willing and the people consenting, I expect to be ordained in 2024).

As you noted, your vocation may be of many sorts. You could be called to the deaconate, as well as the priesthood, a monastic order, or lay ministry (including things like chaplaincy, which requires seminary study but not ordination). I know you know this, but I'm saying it again anyway because some commenters are focusing solely on the call to the priesthood. In the Anglican Communion, at least from where I stand, the differences between the calls to priesthood and deaconate and lay ministry are not always initially obvious. A priest's job is to make Eucharist first and foremost and I think that's really important to know. You may be experiencing a very powerful call to lay ministry or to the deaconate without feeling that draw to make the actual Eucharist in the same way. You're probably already aware of this, but I know a lot of people who have been tripped up by this as they explored their call, especially those who aren't from such a sacramental background.

I highly recommend finding a community to be a part of for a significant time. In my experience, the only way that vocations can be truly discerned is through community. Working on yourself is great and a necessary first step, but the next step is to integrate yourself with a group. If you think you may be called to a monastic vocation, you can do this by reaching out to them and beginning to spend time with their community. Otherwise, I would recommend finding a parish and committing to at least a couple years there.

'Call from God' moments are incredible and important, and your vicar can hopefully be a great resource, especially if you 'chime' with them and connect quickly. But Christianity is about community as well as about individual call and I think people are right to encourage you to prioritize that—even if your call is not ultimately to e.g. parish ministry.

The book used often in my part of the Anglican communion to guide discernment committees, etc is "Listening Hearts." I actually really recommend it. It was helpful to me. Note, such groups don't have to be called together just if you're exploring ordination. If you can find people to pray and think with you about things it's always helpful.

Please feel free to MeMail me if you want to talk about your discernment journey!
posted by branca at 6:33 PM on December 23, 2022