What are your favorite ADHD/neurodivergent friendly gifts?

November 12, 2022 11:38 PM

Hit me with your gift recommendations for the neuro spicy folks!

I'm looking to gather gift ideas for any flavor of neurodiverse folks. I'm particularly interested in suggestions for gifts that make life better/easier, or really great/elevated versions of things. I'm collecting ideas for my own loved ones, as well as suggestions to give for those shopping for me, so I'm leaving it pretty open to get more ideas.

A note about MeFiGiftGuide2022: These next two weeks, we are collecting questions on ask.metafilter.com that help people find fantastic holiday gifts that show love for friend, family, nature, and our global community. These questions, tagged with #MeFiGiftGuide2022, will be collected into an FPP on Nov 24, the night before Black Friday, to spread our community’s love and wisdom across the universe (or at least to the hearts of our future MeFi members).

If you’re new to MetaFilter, why don’t you join? It’s $5 for a lifetime membership, and that $5 is mostly to keep the spammers out. If you end up buying something based on what you read, why not donate to MetaFilter as part of our November Fundraiser Drive.

posted by bluloo to Shopping (18 answers total)

I have SPD and am some flavor of undiagnosed neurodivergent. These are sensory control/augmentation suggestions.

Cash money option: Sony WH-1000XM4 noise cancelling over ear headphones. Legitimately made cross country plane travel endurable for me. I went to an audiophile store and let a dude shpiel at me and tried all the different noise cancelling ones and these were the best both in how my ears felt when the noise cancelling was engaged and all the texture and weight stuff of the headset itself. Not too heavy, stores nicely, compatible with tons of devices, I expect to have them for many years.

Stocking stuffer: Goody Jelly Spiral hair ties. Not any other brand or material, specifically these are amazing for fidgets. They come in plenty of colors so you can coordinate with an outfit or just have your favorite. I have short hair right now but almost always have one on my wrist. Great if you need a distraction from picking or scratching, something to fiddle with during a meeting, just like playing with a landline phone cord but you carry it with you. The other brands and materials of spiral hair ties are inexplicably not as good.

Under $50: This nightgown from Amazon mystery brand Ekouaer is made of some poly blend that is extremely lightweight and soft, has washed up surprisingly well, doesn’t stay hot, is just the right length to cover my butt when I stand up but not bunch up around my waist in bed, has short sleeves and a reasonable neckline, comes in a ton of colors. I got another nightgown in a different style but the same fabric and it’s also great. They sell all kinds of pjs and I’m probably going to try most of them.

Under $10: Zingerman’s Brownies. I crave texture and interest and variety in my food. My best friend haaaaates different textures in the same food and needs simplicity and consistency. You can get these with nuts and in different variations (for me) and without nuts (for him) and we are both happy every time. Best brownie.
posted by Mizu at 12:15 AM on November 13, 2022 [5 favorites]

The book “How to Keep House While Drowning” by KC Davis LP. Do only give to people who have expressed burnout and stress around house keeping. No passive aggressive gift giving! But it is genuinely wonderful and helpful and blessedly short. Written with neurodivergent people FIRST in mind.

Environmental Regulation: a good air purifier, such as a Levoit, can be incredibly life changing. First of all, a good source of white noise! Second, many neurodivergent people have body issues that are helped by cleaning the air. Helps with allergies of all kinds, which often manifest in gut or joint symptoms that people don’t realize have an environmental cause.

A galaxy light! Great for zoning out and having something for your brain to do when you are feeling overwhelmed but need something for your eyes to do or you will lose your mind. Excellent for being able to create a safe feeling place to melt into the floor.

There are sellers on etsy who sell mixed lots of beads. For someone who enjoys sorting and touching pretty things, a pound of pretty glass beads and a set of containers to sort them into is *chef kiss*

I also highly recommend a weighted Stitch plush. I guess there are soooome Neurospicy people who don’t like Stitch, but also there seem to be a lot who do. It’s also ridiculously soft, has a good amount of weight and is a good phone/tablet prop.
posted by Bottlecap at 3:46 AM on November 13, 2022 [4 favorites]

Sensory stickers! Etsy has a bunch but I get mine from this store. Recommend either this starter kit or putting your own together from the two different textures available - whoever you’re giving it to may find one texture much more appealing than the other.

If your person is of the “deeply engaged with an elaborate paper planner system to keep their life on track” kind and/or is a pen/stationery nerd, pick them out something nice at JetPens or let them go wild with a gift card.
posted by Stacey at 5:26 AM on November 13, 2022

For generic "I know you're neurodivergent but otherwise you're pretty much a stranger" gifts--maybe some cute fidget toys? Fidget foam, that sort of thing?

Otherwise, I'd ask about interests/hobbies as per usual. "Neurodivergent" is a wide term and one person's perfect calming tool could be completely incomprehensible to somebody else.
posted by kingdead at 7:56 AM on November 13, 2022 [2 favorites]

For people who lose things, Tile offers keychains, wallet cards, and multi-purpose stickers for finding things. They're a life-changer.

I second the recommendation for the Sony WH headphones. I've had the previous iteration for years, wearing them almost every day. They're very comfortable and durable.

I much prefer audiobooks to physical books, so perhaps an Audible subscription of a few months (assuming that's a thing you can get).

Maybe a bit offbeat, but an extra powerful charging block with very long cord – I used to forget to charge my phone more, because there was only one place to do so. I live by the theory of having more than one of everything, so I can have one in the exact place I need it. A portable charging battery is another somewhat lateral idea, on the theory that people might be out of a charge more often.

I rely heavily on a 1L Nalgene water bottle – ADHD-friendly because the quantity requires less refills to get enough water, if a person takes stimulants they may need more water, it can't be knocked over by my flailing hands, and it will never leak, so I don't have to worry about where I put it and how I treat it. Add a karabiner (sp? The clippy things) so it can be hooked on to other stuff, or other stuff hooked on to it. Those are another general purpose helpful tool for those of us with difficulty keeping track of items.

Fidgets are very YMMV – some people will hate the same ones that other people will adore. Infinity cubes can be good – I prefer a bit heavier one over cheap plastic. I adore this bead contraption with three rings (link to Canadian Etsy but a similar product may exist), but in my experience about 50/50 of people like it. I have more than one so as not to lose it and be sad. I've considered, for fidget gifts, having a bag of them and letting people play with them and pick for themselves.
posted by lookoutbelow at 8:26 AM on November 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

Loop Earplugs
posted by matildaben at 9:45 AM on November 13, 2022 [5 favorites]

I would be so happy if someone asked me what I want doubles of and bought me doubles of essential items I use daily that help maintain the infrastructure of my life -- it ruins my life when I don't have a backup cable or portable charger or laptop charger, especially because transitioning between spaces is one of my kryptonites as an ADHD/autistic person.

Also ask them what they want from their current special interest(s). If someone had offered to buy me my coveted aluminum shower shelf that I spent two years on and off researching and finally finding a deal on it, I would feel so loved and I would remember them every single time I used it.
posted by yueliang at 1:58 PM on November 13, 2022 [4 favorites]

Best answer: Yeah, "neurodivergent" (or even "autistic") is a huge category. Stim/fidget/sensory toys aren't interesting to me at all, and if I got one as a present I'd be a little like "Oh. Huh. Someone told you I was autistic and you don't know anything about me personally."

The biggest issues I have are about "unfucking X after it gets fucked up," where X could be a room of my house or a bureaucratic situation. I have memory problems, planning problems, and no ability to form mental images (so e.g. if my apartment is dirty, I can't picture how it'll look clean). The result is it's really easy for things to get messed up in ways that take me a lot of work to undo. Here are gifts I've gotten (or given myself) in that vein.

1. Kitchen stuff in matching shapes and sizes, so that e.g. all the bowls stack equally well in any order and I don't have to think about which ones go on top.
2. Storage that makes the stored thing visible. I love my wall-mounted hanging pot rack because I don't lose pots now, and because any pot fits on any hook so it doesn't matter if I do it "right."
3. Self-resetting alarm clocks (I'm constantly unplugging them by accident, and then getting one set correctly again has just enough unintuitive steps that I get stuck.)
4. Matching phone/laptop charging stations at my house and my partner's house.
5. Car detailing.
6. An occasional cleaning person.

My sensory stuff is less of the "needing to stim" variety and more of the "avoiding things because of their texture/sound" variety. Stuff I've gotten in that vein:

1. Clear glass "tupperware" so I'm prepared for the food texture I'm going to encounter before I open it.
2. Wheatstraw plastic dishes, which don't make The Noise when you scrape a fork or knife across them but are still reasonably durable and dishwashable.
3. Nice non-underwire bras. (My current favorites come from Aerie.)
4. Loops, yup, those are great.

posted by nebulawindphone at 2:09 PM on November 13, 2022 [5 favorites]

ADHD household over here and I am working on the idea of visible storage and “everything has its home” to help avoid losing stuff. Yamazaki Home has a lot of stylish organization items and in particular having hooks for keys at the front door has cut down on our aimless “where’s the damn keys?” wandering by 99% as the keys are hung up the second we walk inside. (they also sell a wall mounted version, which we now use).

There is also a lovely remote and tablet organizer which will be my next purchase to help us stop misplacing the TV remote.

Also based on another ADHD friend’s experiences, if they drive and are in the USA, a AAA or other roadside assistance membership is great because ADHD folks are often forgetting scheduled maintenance or not noticing the dome light is on and running down the battery or pushing that empty gas tank just a scootch too far because they were running late. AAA has bailed her ass out countless times. Also a magnetic car key safe to attach to their car so they don’t get locked out! (if they don’t have a proximity key)
posted by castlebravo at 2:12 PM on November 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

I will third Loop earplugs. I have seen them recommended several times, and I just ordered my first pair.

But be aware that there are several models. I ordered the Engage. I think they are supposed to let you hear your conversation and block a lot of background. The Engage Plus also allows an extra 5db adjustment.
posted by NotLost at 3:36 PM on November 13, 2022 [2 favorites]

I hated the advertising and the general concept of a subscription model for a cheap daily-use thing, but... Quip toothbrushes have kinda changed my life? I have considered getting them as gifts for others in my life with executive dysfunction (whatever the reason behind it).

- They don't take up much space--you can even mount them (non-destructively) on a mirror or bathroom tile, no counter space required, and I can't keep clumsily knocking them off the counter
- The mirror mount plus the array of colors they come in means my toothbrush catches my eye when I'm in the bathroom so I am reminded to brush my teeth when I might otherwise forget
- They're pleasant to hold
- They don't get gross and gunky like the charging mounts for typical electric toothbrushes do
- The variety of colors means I get to choose something I enjoy looking at (so many toothbrushes are ugly to me, which is unfortunately a problem for my brain)
- The subscription means I get a replacement brush head and a fresh battery every three months without having to remember/think about it/go anywhere.

The one downside I'll call out is that the on button requires a pretty firm press of the finger, so someone with minimal strength in their hands or major manual dexterity issues might struggle with that part.

Okay and also the website makes it hard to build the exact subscription kit you want if you're doing anything other than the default, and will keep sending you their free toothpaste way more often than any human goes through toothpaste until you figure out how to remove it from the bundle. Another reason buying the starter kit and setting up the subscription for someone as a gift is nice. :)
posted by rhiannonstone at 6:12 PM on November 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

I mentioned this on the gift thread about chronic illnesses, but time with a virtual assistant has been super helpful for me whem my ADHD + chronic health + mental health meltdowns made it impossible for me to do anything coherently.
posted by creatrixtiara at 3:11 AM on November 14, 2022 [1 favorite]

Best answer: These are all ADHD specific, but they are small things that have made a huge difference.

The general theme is a large number of a cheap thing that they keep losings or misplacing.

My spouse purchased 5 pairs of relatively cheap bud earphones for me one Christmas. Specifically Panasonic RP-HJE125E-K Ergofit In Ear Wired Earphones. I am always losing my earphones and due to fiddling with them am always losing the rubber bits off the ends. These, due to the way the rubber bits go on, have a much lower chance of losing the rubber ends in a pocket and having 5 of them meant that it took over a year before I found myself with only a single pair of earbuds again. I'm pretty sure she's planning on another earphone drop again this Christmas. (These also can survive multiple trips through a wash/dry cycle - like most cheap headphones - or just a washer as long as they are given time to dry. I know from the number of times I have fished these out of a pocket afterwards or found them in the dryer, all twisted up - untwist and they are usually good to go)

Anyway, for cheap earbuds, those. If you're going to go expensive for headphones, gets ones that are too large to leave in a pocket. My Bose noise canceling headphones are still going strong three years later and have never been in the washing machine, as they are large, over the ear design.

Similarly, extra charging stations (not as cheap, but not that bad). If they have wireless charging for their phone, blanket the place with wireless charging pads. If not, have at least one charging cable and charger plugged in in every room of the house. The idea is that they never need to be unplugged, so they are never lost.

Coasters can be another "in every room in the house" thing. Really, anything that you or your ADHD person find missing on a regular basis because it was picked up and put down somewhere it was obvious that will never be found again. Or placed in a pocket of clothing that will go through the washer or be hung up for days at a time.

Oh, a battery charger and batteries. The trick is to have some cases like this one (I'm sure there are others out there, this was the first hit when googling, no endorsement given) with a certain number pre charged. The lifecycle is
1.) battery runs out
2.) dead battery is popped into permanently plugged in battery charger
3.) if there are charged batteries in the battery charger, they are placed in the case
4.) charged batteries are then retrieved from the case and put in the device that requires them
The case needs to be kept next to the charger, quite possibly affixed to something so it cannot wander off.

This has kept us from running out of batteries for six years together. Highly recommended. Get a minimum of 12 AAAs and 12 AAs and get them all charged up ahead of time.
posted by Hactar at 5:24 AM on November 14, 2022 [3 favorites]

So as not to abuse the edit window, this is essentially echoing yeuling, but with examples. (And more than duplicates here, think quintuplicates minimum)
posted by Hactar at 5:25 AM on November 14, 2022

Earbuds have been the single best thing I have bought my kid with ADHD and we buy multiples.
posted by geek anachronism at 4:08 PM on November 16, 2022

Puzzles. The ones that people say are too hard.
posted by gible at 10:51 PM on November 19, 2022

I am neurodivergent and gifts are typically a terrible thing to get me unless you know me extremely well. I don't want more belongings (more to keep track of) and am very particular about consumables (including but not limited to food). I'd rather have a regularly-schedule telephone call to catch up.

Occasionally I'll get really excited about some frivolous buy-it-new consumer product and I'll save it up all year to request in the gift swap. Like that $4 egg timer that you keep in the fridge with the eggs and it changes colors as the eggs softboil/hardboil/etc. (I always try give options for the gift swap: a place you can donate so we both get warm fuzzies, a thing you can get me that won't disappoint, and I feel like I might say something about handmaking things, too, but if so I don't remember what).

Things that might be a good gift for someone who wants to spend a huge pile of money on someone who bikes with neurodivergences similar to my own:
- Combination U-lock
- A really good generator bike light set (generator hub, front and rear lights)
posted by aniola at 9:55 PM on November 21, 2022

On the puzzles front, there is The Witness game, which is available for PC, Mac and iDevices. There is a great book about puzzles by AJ Jacobs.
posted by asok at 1:42 PM on November 25, 2022