Should I get a Dog?
November 3, 2022 8:29 AM Subscribe
Another "should I get a dog" question. Much much more under the fold.
I will try for brevity but I don't think I will succeed. My question is should I get a dog? I got my first dog, a shih tzu puppy from a breeder, in 2017 with my husband. Training him was really hard for me and sent me into quite the depression (there were other factors too). My husband was great. He grew up around animals, I did not. Life with Jamie, our pup, had been amazing up until last Spring b/c we divorced. Now I see Jamie on weekends but my ex would prefer full custody. So I have been wondering if I should get a dog on my own. I would NOT even consider a puppy.
The dog has to be house trained and also not barky. I am spoiled by Jamie b/c his temperament and behavior are stellar. I volunteer here and love it, but don't go now b/c I have Jamie on the weekends. I would either adopt from Muttville, SPCA, or maybe see if our breeder has an adult shih tzu available. I am out of the house 7:30-4:30 every day except school vacations and summer, so a dog-walker is a must. Would this schedule be unfair to a dog? A friend suggested a bonded pair. Also, the dog will have to be groomed b/c I want a dog with hair. My ex does all of Jamie's grooming. Grooming is pricy, but I am pretty ok on money.
I wonder if with all the upheaval of the divorce, it makes sense to add a new pet into the mix. I miss having that unconditional love. I don't have a yard, so I would have to walk the dog several times away, which I am kind of ok with, but sometimes like to be lazy. I don't travel much. Am I ready for a commitment to another creature for several years though? Am I ready to have a dog absolutely on my own with no support other than paid people? I just don't know! Any and all advice greatly appreciated.
I will try for brevity but I don't think I will succeed. My question is should I get a dog? I got my first dog, a shih tzu puppy from a breeder, in 2017 with my husband. Training him was really hard for me and sent me into quite the depression (there were other factors too). My husband was great. He grew up around animals, I did not. Life with Jamie, our pup, had been amazing up until last Spring b/c we divorced. Now I see Jamie on weekends but my ex would prefer full custody. So I have been wondering if I should get a dog on my own. I would NOT even consider a puppy.
The dog has to be house trained and also not barky. I am spoiled by Jamie b/c his temperament and behavior are stellar. I volunteer here and love it, but don't go now b/c I have Jamie on the weekends. I would either adopt from Muttville, SPCA, or maybe see if our breeder has an adult shih tzu available. I am out of the house 7:30-4:30 every day except school vacations and summer, so a dog-walker is a must. Would this schedule be unfair to a dog? A friend suggested a bonded pair. Also, the dog will have to be groomed b/c I want a dog with hair. My ex does all of Jamie's grooming. Grooming is pricy, but I am pretty ok on money.
I wonder if with all the upheaval of the divorce, it makes sense to add a new pet into the mix. I miss having that unconditional love. I don't have a yard, so I would have to walk the dog several times away, which I am kind of ok with, but sometimes like to be lazy. I don't travel much. Am I ready for a commitment to another creature for several years though? Am I ready to have a dog absolutely on my own with no support other than paid people? I just don't know! Any and all advice greatly appreciated.
Well no one can tell you if you’re ready to deal with a dog on your own.
We adopted two greyhounds. They are wonderful. They came to us mostly housetrained. They never bark unless there’s a critter in our yard. They are great with people and kids. They sleep alllll day and require two pretty lengthy walks. I work from
Home, but they would be fine home alone with a dog walker in the middle, now that we have two. When we just had one staying alone that long wasn’t able option.
One of our dogs was just diagnosed with cancer and had her leg amputated. She’s doing great but that would have been impossible to handle alone because we have two kids and another dog. If it was just me and her? Maybe.
Dogs are wonderful. They are a lot of work. They can be expensive. I think they are worth it.
posted by dpx.mfx at 8:56 AM on November 3, 2022
We adopted two greyhounds. They are wonderful. They came to us mostly housetrained. They never bark unless there’s a critter in our yard. They are great with people and kids. They sleep alllll day and require two pretty lengthy walks. I work from
Home, but they would be fine home alone with a dog walker in the middle, now that we have two. When we just had one staying alone that long wasn’t able option.
One of our dogs was just diagnosed with cancer and had her leg amputated. She’s doing great but that would have been impossible to handle alone because we have two kids and another dog. If it was just me and her? Maybe.
Dogs are wonderful. They are a lot of work. They can be expensive. I think they are worth it.
posted by dpx.mfx at 8:56 AM on November 3, 2022
Have you ever had a cat? I have always been a dog person and come from a multigenerational cat-disdaining family, but after our beloved Susie-pup died I opted for a cat and I will never go back.
My kids were grown, I was dx'd with a life-changing health issue, my partner hightailed it out of my life, I worked full time, and I wanted to be free for roadtrips or work drinks etc. I didn't have it in me to care 24/7 for another living creature but I wanted the cuddles and silliness and something to feed leftovers to, not to mention the sense of purpose, so I went to the SPCA looking for an older dog and that's where I fell in love with an 11-week-old tuxedo-type kitten that was and is as friendly-goofy as any mutt.
I harness/leash-trained him as a kitten (much easier than dogs) so he hangs out with me outside without wandering off, plus he fetches elastic hairbands and plays tug-of-war with old socks like nobody's business. Plus *all the cuddles and silliness, although he's not big on leftovers.
I'm sure you'll get lots of pro/con feedback about getting a dog, but I highly recommend giving some consideration to a kitten. (I still can't believe I'm saying that.)
posted by headnsouth at 9:08 AM on November 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
My kids were grown, I was dx'd with a life-changing health issue, my partner hightailed it out of my life, I worked full time, and I wanted to be free for roadtrips or work drinks etc. I didn't have it in me to care 24/7 for another living creature but I wanted the cuddles and silliness and something to feed leftovers to, not to mention the sense of purpose, so I went to the SPCA looking for an older dog and that's where I fell in love with an 11-week-old tuxedo-type kitten that was and is as friendly-goofy as any mutt.
I harness/leash-trained him as a kitten (much easier than dogs) so he hangs out with me outside without wandering off, plus he fetches elastic hairbands and plays tug-of-war with old socks like nobody's business. Plus *all the cuddles and silliness, although he's not big on leftovers.
I'm sure you'll get lots of pro/con feedback about getting a dog, but I highly recommend giving some consideration to a kitten. (I still can't believe I'm saying that.)
posted by headnsouth at 9:08 AM on November 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
First of all, if you are going to be gone most of the day like that, I do suggest two dogs. Dogs are not meant to be solitary animals, though so many unfortunately are that most of the time. I firmly believe your dog will be happier with a friend, and as a bonus you will feel less guilty when you are running late.
Grooming 3x per year should be enough and, depending on your area, maybe $50-$80/per dog each time. Heartworm and flea/tick medication are a must. Yearly vaccinations can run $300-$500. If you have a vet you like, they may have a program for overall health that can help you budget, but try to also budget for emergencies and understand they may have health issues that require extra cost and care as they get older.
Good on you for recognizing a puppy is not the right option. Nothing wrong with that! If you're set on Shi Tzus, look for a Shi Tzu specific rescue in your area. HOWEVER, your experience with one Shi Tzu is just one data point. I have a rescue Shi Tzu and he's got both behavioral and health problems. Eye and heart problems are common with this breed. Know what you are getting into! (You might also consider: Lhasa apso, small poodles, bichon frise and havanese and mixes of all the above - these are all hypo-allergenic ones though arguments have been made that hypo-allergenic dogs is not really a thing.)
The rescue folks should be able to help you make a good match. And if you feel like it's not working out with any dogs you bring home, try to give them at least one full month to adjust, but make a decision after that sooner rather than later. You are not "stuck" with a dog that is not working out. Don't waffle and feel bad about it and let 6 months go by, just call the rescue and bring the dog(s) back.
It's ok not to walk the dog once in a while, as long as you can let them outside to go. If you can aim for at least one longer walk per day, great! Two is better. But sometimes that's not possible, things happen, just make sure they can go outside at least 3x/day. I don't have a yard and walk my two small dogs 4x a day, 2 longer and 2 shorter. On bad snow days/rain days etc, they don't get much walking, but we still go outside 4x/day. Try not to make a habit of many days in a row without a longer walk. You will love them and want to do what's best for them, and I think you will do fine!
You'll also want to put some potty pads in your bathroom or somewhere, because you can't expect dogs to hold it in indefinitely if you are gone longer than expected. They want to make you happy, if they are being well cared for overall, they don't want to go in the house! But sometimes you will be gone longer than expected and better they have a spot to go than pick a spot themselves.
A couple more notes since I've written a book here - DO NOT believe the hype about grain-free diets for dogs. Your dog's food should include some healthy grains. And I personally believe that crating dogs all day long is cruel. Having a crate they feel comfortable in is great, but locking them in there for hours on end is not.
FINALLY, if you really know yourself and don't think you can handle the expense or physical demands of walking a dog every day, then I agree with headnsouth, a cat or two might be a great option for you! Some cats are quite doglike. Good luck!
posted by Glinn at 9:26 AM on November 3, 2022
Grooming 3x per year should be enough and, depending on your area, maybe $50-$80/per dog each time. Heartworm and flea/tick medication are a must. Yearly vaccinations can run $300-$500. If you have a vet you like, they may have a program for overall health that can help you budget, but try to also budget for emergencies and understand they may have health issues that require extra cost and care as they get older.
Good on you for recognizing a puppy is not the right option. Nothing wrong with that! If you're set on Shi Tzus, look for a Shi Tzu specific rescue in your area. HOWEVER, your experience with one Shi Tzu is just one data point. I have a rescue Shi Tzu and he's got both behavioral and health problems. Eye and heart problems are common with this breed. Know what you are getting into! (You might also consider: Lhasa apso, small poodles, bichon frise and havanese and mixes of all the above - these are all hypo-allergenic ones though arguments have been made that hypo-allergenic dogs is not really a thing.)
The rescue folks should be able to help you make a good match. And if you feel like it's not working out with any dogs you bring home, try to give them at least one full month to adjust, but make a decision after that sooner rather than later. You are not "stuck" with a dog that is not working out. Don't waffle and feel bad about it and let 6 months go by, just call the rescue and bring the dog(s) back.
It's ok not to walk the dog once in a while, as long as you can let them outside to go. If you can aim for at least one longer walk per day, great! Two is better. But sometimes that's not possible, things happen, just make sure they can go outside at least 3x/day. I don't have a yard and walk my two small dogs 4x a day, 2 longer and 2 shorter. On bad snow days/rain days etc, they don't get much walking, but we still go outside 4x/day. Try not to make a habit of many days in a row without a longer walk. You will love them and want to do what's best for them, and I think you will do fine!
You'll also want to put some potty pads in your bathroom or somewhere, because you can't expect dogs to hold it in indefinitely if you are gone longer than expected. They want to make you happy, if they are being well cared for overall, they don't want to go in the house! But sometimes you will be gone longer than expected and better they have a spot to go than pick a spot themselves.
A couple more notes since I've written a book here - DO NOT believe the hype about grain-free diets for dogs. Your dog's food should include some healthy grains. And I personally believe that crating dogs all day long is cruel. Having a crate they feel comfortable in is great, but locking them in there for hours on end is not.
FINALLY, if you really know yourself and don't think you can handle the expense or physical demands of walking a dog every day, then I agree with headnsouth, a cat or two might be a great option for you! Some cats are quite doglike. Good luck!
posted by Glinn at 9:26 AM on November 3, 2022
Response by poster: Thanks for the suggestions so far! I am allergic to cats so that is not an option, though I agree would be easier than having a dog. :)
posted by bookworm4125 at 9:46 AM on November 3, 2022
posted by bookworm4125 at 9:46 AM on November 3, 2022
One thing to think about is how you would handle the first weeks when the dog is getting used to its new home. Nine hours is not too long to leave a dog alone if the dog gets a good amount of exercise and attention when you're home (especially if you have a dog walker.) But it might not work well to bring a dog into a new home and then try leaving it alone for 9 hours a couple of days later. Until you know what kind of trouble that particular dog might get into and until you feel sure he's not going to have accidents in the house, you probably won't want to leave him loose in the house. But he may not be happy being in a crate for 9 hours. Even if he's used to being crated, he won't be used to that particular crate in that particular situation. And whether he's in a crate or loose, he may not be happy being alone. Ideally, you would give him some time to get used to his new home and give yourself some time to figure out how he's going to handle being alone before you start leaving him for a whole work day. If you have the summer off work, that would be a great time to get a dog.
posted by Redstart at 10:07 AM on November 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Redstart at 10:07 AM on November 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
Response by poster: Sorry to threadsit but redstart I think you are right. During the summer or at least on a 9 day break from work would be ideal.
posted by bookworm4125 at 10:12 AM on November 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by bookworm4125 at 10:12 AM on November 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
Have some savings dedicated to your dog or dogs in case your income situation changes.
posted by aniola at 11:07 AM on November 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by aniola at 11:07 AM on November 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
If you decide to adopt an adult dog, please do yourself a favor and buy and read the first few chapters of this book first. It's a great guide on how to prepare to adopt a rescue and what you should do in the first weeks of bringing the dog home.
posted by suelac at 12:45 PM on November 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by suelac at 12:45 PM on November 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
I am allergic to cats so that is not an option, though I agree would be easier than having a dog.
If you'd otherwise be interested in cats, you might want to have a look at my past posts about low-allergen Siberian cats. They sleep on my very allergic husband's chest and he has zero reaction.
posted by daisyace at 6:24 PM on November 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
If you'd otherwise be interested in cats, you might want to have a look at my past posts about low-allergen Siberian cats. They sleep on my very allergic husband's chest and he has zero reaction.
posted by daisyace at 6:24 PM on November 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
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