Do I dog?
October 31, 2022 10:08 PM Subscribe
I'm considering getting a dog. But a little terrified....
I'm thinking about getting a dog. A few facts about me and my situation:
I am a single young thirty something woman. I have a house with a backyard (but shared with very antagonistic neighbors). I get by on finances, but don't have much in terms of savings.
My job is very stressful. I work longish hours, but I work from home so I can easily walk in between meetings.
Longer term, I'm considering having kids on my own in a few years if I am still single. It seems like a lot to handle a baby and a dog by myself.
However. I LOVE animals and I love dogs. I've been feeling really lonely lately after a challenging time and everytime I look into the eyes of a loving dog I am overwhelmed by feelings of love. I also love nature and the outdoors, and a canine companion would be a welcome addition. I've dogsat a bunch of times and it was super fun and my house is very dog friendly, but by the end of the dogsitting job I am little relieved to have space to myself again. All my friends who have dogs adore them, and all my dogs without dogs say that I should be grateful to have time to myself.
My mom has dogs who I ADORE, and so I will likely get a dog from that same breeder (yes....I know there are rescues out there who need love....but I really adore this breed and personality).
Dog owners of mefi, what do we think? Is it really hard from a time and money standpoint? I am considering moving forward with one for a particular point of time that would be good for me.
I'm thinking about getting a dog. A few facts about me and my situation:
I am a single young thirty something woman. I have a house with a backyard (but shared with very antagonistic neighbors). I get by on finances, but don't have much in terms of savings.
My job is very stressful. I work longish hours, but I work from home so I can easily walk in between meetings.
Longer term, I'm considering having kids on my own in a few years if I am still single. It seems like a lot to handle a baby and a dog by myself.
However. I LOVE animals and I love dogs. I've been feeling really lonely lately after a challenging time and everytime I look into the eyes of a loving dog I am overwhelmed by feelings of love. I also love nature and the outdoors, and a canine companion would be a welcome addition. I've dogsat a bunch of times and it was super fun and my house is very dog friendly, but by the end of the dogsitting job I am little relieved to have space to myself again. All my friends who have dogs adore them, and all my dogs without dogs say that I should be grateful to have time to myself.
My mom has dogs who I ADORE, and so I will likely get a dog from that same breeder (yes....I know there are rescues out there who need love....but I really adore this breed and personality).
Dog owners of mefi, what do we think? Is it really hard from a time and money standpoint? I am considering moving forward with one for a particular point of time that would be good for me.
Response by poster: They would never harm the dog. They are more very particular with aggressive text messages.
posted by treetop89 at 10:20 PM on October 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by treetop89 at 10:20 PM on October 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
If this is a breed that doesn't require extensive training (and therefore lots of outdoors time and specific routines), I'd say yes. I wouldn't worry too much about future children--you may or may not have them, and if you do you can find a way to work with the dog. Don't deny yourself the pleasures of pet companionship because of these worries!
posted by kingdead at 10:32 PM on October 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by kingdead at 10:32 PM on October 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
It's mostly time. Especially with a puppy.
The money part will come, vet visits for shots and spaying/neutering. But it's the time. Puppies are worse than children, as you cannot trust a puppy to not chew through anything they can find. Your toddler won't likely chew through an electrical cord without you noticing. A puppy will.
Of course, depends on the breed you are looking at. And, dogs are the best, but they are not easy until they get older, get trained, and become your best friend.
posted by Windopaene at 10:32 PM on October 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
The money part will come, vet visits for shots and spaying/neutering. But it's the time. Puppies are worse than children, as you cannot trust a puppy to not chew through anything they can find. Your toddler won't likely chew through an electrical cord without you noticing. A puppy will.
Of course, depends on the breed you are looking at. And, dogs are the best, but they are not easy until they get older, get trained, and become your best friend.
posted by Windopaene at 10:32 PM on October 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
You might consider fostering with your local humane society or sign up for a pet-sitting service like Rover. Either will give you the opportunity to have dog-time without much expense or commitment.
posted by mezzanayne at 10:44 PM on October 31, 2022 [17 favorites]
posted by mezzanayne at 10:44 PM on October 31, 2022 [17 favorites]
A backyard shared with 'very antagonistic neighbors'?
No. Your dog would instantly become a hostage to compel you to do whatever they wanted, and it’s very unlikely that the authorities would be willing come to your aid as long as they were careful to target your dog and not you directly.
posted by jamjam at 11:02 PM on October 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
No. Your dog would instantly become a hostage to compel you to do whatever they wanted, and it’s very unlikely that the authorities would be willing come to your aid as long as they were careful to target your dog and not you directly.
posted by jamjam at 11:02 PM on October 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
Because you mention money, and because I've been in this position and wish everyone could be spared the additional pain if possible: in the event of a medical emergency involving your pet, do you have credit available, or someone (or a collection of someones) on whom you could rely to loan or gift you several thousand dollars? It is not a given that you will need it, but needing it and not having it is an incredibly difficult thing.
posted by notquitemaryann at 11:03 PM on October 31, 2022 [13 favorites]
posted by notquitemaryann at 11:03 PM on October 31, 2022 [13 favorites]
No, I don't think the timing is right for you, which makes me very sad to say. I think you'd be well suited to be a volunteer at a humane society or dog sanctuary, though.
posted by The Adventure Begins at 11:05 PM on October 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by The Adventure Begins at 11:05 PM on October 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
All your friends are right.
posted by aniola at 11:38 PM on October 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by aniola at 11:38 PM on October 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
However. I LOVE animals and I love dogs. I've been feeling really lonely lately after a challenging time and everytime I look into the eyes of a loving dog I am overwhelmed by feelings of love. I also love nature and the outdoors, and a canine companion would be a welcome addition.
Oh man you really should get a dog!
I had a wiener dog for 17 years, through very bad times and good times. He died right before lockdown, and it was the saddest time of my life.
Half a year later after mourning I got a puppy, and he's just lit up my life. I met my fiance taking him to the park, and we still bond over him. We love him to pieces. And that truly is the most important thing.
Do the pros and cons as you like, but seek out this joy! Don't look for excuses, see how it can work! A dog is a real joy, if you like them. You'll be happy you did.
posted by billjings at 11:40 PM on October 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
Oh man you really should get a dog!
I had a wiener dog for 17 years, through very bad times and good times. He died right before lockdown, and it was the saddest time of my life.
Half a year later after mourning I got a puppy, and he's just lit up my life. I met my fiance taking him to the park, and we still bond over him. We love him to pieces. And that truly is the most important thing.
Do the pros and cons as you like, but seek out this joy! Don't look for excuses, see how it can work! A dog is a real joy, if you like them. You'll be happy you did.
posted by billjings at 11:40 PM on October 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
I do really feel for you as I was in a similar kind of situation at one point, i missed having animals around so much. It sounds possible but….A few thoughts:
How have your neighbours reacted when you are dog-sitting?
Have you talked about this with them at all? If you know they are going to be difficult it could be good to find out and address their concerns.
A yard where you can’t relax and enjoy time with your dog because of disapproving neighbours sounds like a source of stress.
I think quite a lot depends on the breed /type you are thinking of because if it’s mainly a house dog, not high energy or large them that’s obviously easier.
Puppies are so so much work. Can you contact the breeder of your mum’s dog and ask about rehoming networks for an adult of that breed?
Will your dog-sitting buddies / relatives be willing to take your dog if needed eg for a few days?
Can you put the time / money into training classes? In a situation like this, a calm well trained dog is exponentially better - any cause of reasonable complaint is going to cause you big problems.
posted by tardigrade at 12:05 AM on November 1, 2022
How have your neighbours reacted when you are dog-sitting?
Have you talked about this with them at all? If you know they are going to be difficult it could be good to find out and address their concerns.
A yard where you can’t relax and enjoy time with your dog because of disapproving neighbours sounds like a source of stress.
I think quite a lot depends on the breed /type you are thinking of because if it’s mainly a house dog, not high energy or large them that’s obviously easier.
Puppies are so so much work. Can you contact the breeder of your mum’s dog and ask about rehoming networks for an adult of that breed?
Will your dog-sitting buddies / relatives be willing to take your dog if needed eg for a few days?
Can you put the time / money into training classes? In a situation like this, a calm well trained dog is exponentially better - any cause of reasonable complaint is going to cause you big problems.
posted by tardigrade at 12:05 AM on November 1, 2022
Yeah, go for the dog. It’s great for a kid to grow up with a dog. My best advice is to take your puppy to LOTS of playgrounds around all sorts of kids so pup gets accustomed to kids. And if you have a friend with a baby, see if you can gush on the baby while pup is nearby. Socialization is super important.
posted by bluedaisy at 12:06 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by bluedaisy at 12:06 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
One option is to talk to your breeder and let them know you would be open to an older dog. Sometimes breeders keep a puppy to be a stud and then he turns out to be a little too tall, or have crooked teeth, or whatever. This can work out quite well. I grew up with a malamute who had crooked teeth (apparently, they looked like normal teeth to me and served her well for 15 years) and could not be used for showing or breeding.
posted by rockindata at 3:18 AM on November 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by rockindata at 3:18 AM on November 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
The time and limitations to your life (no spontaneous travel, etc.) are things you can adjust for, but your lack of savings seems like a bigger concern.
Definitely look at pet health insurance costs or think about how you handle emergency surgery. Also, run the numbers on your budget. Include the costs of food, treats, gear, insurance, spay/neuter, and boarding (although it sounds like you could swap with others.) Is your income going to go up or will having a dog mean you don’t ever build up those savings?
I’d suggest putting the amount you would spend in a dog into your savings for 6 months or a year to see what that is like to live on and build a cushion. Then if you still feel the same way you’ll have more information and money!
posted by warriorqueen at 4:07 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Definitely look at pet health insurance costs or think about how you handle emergency surgery. Also, run the numbers on your budget. Include the costs of food, treats, gear, insurance, spay/neuter, and boarding (although it sounds like you could swap with others.) Is your income going to go up or will having a dog mean you don’t ever build up those savings?
I’d suggest putting the amount you would spend in a dog into your savings for 6 months or a year to see what that is like to live on and build a cushion. Then if you still feel the same way you’ll have more information and money!
posted by warriorqueen at 4:07 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
I am a single woman who got a dog in my early thirties. I'm now in my early forties. It's one of the best decisions I made in my life. Many of my decisions (where to live, travel etc.) are guided / restrained by my having a dog but I think it's worth it. I don't have or intend to have children so I can't speak to that.
My dog is now of the age where I have to face that he will be leaving this earth at some point in the (hopefully not too) near future. This will be really tough for me and I probably won't have a dog again for some time afterwards. Even with that still a great decision for me to have a dog and I know that my time with him will be some of the happiest memories of my life.
I agree that you should look at the financial and other impacts and think them through. And then trust yourself to make the right decision.
posted by roolya_boolya at 4:28 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
My dog is now of the age where I have to face that he will be leaving this earth at some point in the (hopefully not too) near future. This will be really tough for me and I probably won't have a dog again for some time afterwards. Even with that still a great decision for me to have a dog and I know that my time with him will be some of the happiest memories of my life.
I agree that you should look at the financial and other impacts and think them through. And then trust yourself to make the right decision.
posted by roolya_boolya at 4:28 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
A resounding yes from me. Dogs are great and make our lives happier. Get the dog!
posted by emd3737 at 4:52 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by emd3737 at 4:52 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
If you do get a dog, given your lack of savings, you absolutely have to get a reliable form of pet insurance (no limits on what they'll cover, including chronic conditions like allergies that can be VERY expensive to treat and very painful if not treated) and stick with the payments even when it seems like a waste of money or you can't afford the payments. The day-to-day stuff doesn't need to be that expensive but the dog deserves to have medical care, and far too often the owner can't pay and needs to euthanize a dog that could have been saved, or surrender to a rescue (this option isn't always available in an emergency). An emergency can easily be 5k or even much higher, and a chronic condition can add up very fast too.
I'm very happy I got my dog but I'm also very happy I waited until I was financially stable first, and now that she's developed allergies (but even if she hadn't) I'm happy I got pet insurance years ago.
Please also consider the breed and temperament of the dog carefully with regard to kids, even if you don't know for sure that you want them. A lot of people think they'll find a way to make it work and it just becomes too unsafe to continue, and that's not fair to the dog or the kids.
posted by randomnity at 4:55 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'm very happy I got my dog but I'm also very happy I waited until I was financially stable first, and now that she's developed allergies (but even if she hadn't) I'm happy I got pet insurance years ago.
Please also consider the breed and temperament of the dog carefully with regard to kids, even if you don't know for sure that you want them. A lot of people think they'll find a way to make it work and it just becomes too unsafe to continue, and that's not fair to the dog or the kids.
posted by randomnity at 4:55 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
I would also add if you think kids are likely in the next few years and since you're leaning towards a puppy, this is the best time for it unless you're happy waiting a decade or so instead. Puppies and babies are really not something you want to raise at the same time if you can help it. It was hard enough to keep my adult, relatively well-trained dog happy with a newborn and toddler, and keep everyone safe and comfortable. If she'd still been a puppy or super energetic young dog, it would have been so so hard on me, her, and the baby.
posted by randomnity at 5:03 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by randomnity at 5:03 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
It seems like a lot to handle a baby and a dog by myself.
I think this is definitely true of a puppy, and probably a high- energy dog like a border collie, but I adopted a middle aged chihuahua in my 20s and he really wasn't much work until the very end of his life due to health issues. A few shortish walks a day, and always up to come along on a hike or adventure but otherwise a cuddly couch potato. I'm not suggesting you get a chihuahua (though I am a convert) but maybe consider whether the breed you love is the best fit for you right now and definitely consider an adult dog.
I'm around your age. The biggest constraint on my life was that I would have to get a dog sitter or bring him along for a long day trip or a trip away (either option is a bit inconvienent). This was more of an issue because I'm childless and prone to just taking off for a few days.
As for money, it's a little hard to know without knowing your finances. I would make sure that you have at least a few a thousand in an emergency fund and access to credit beyond that. Dogs don't necessarily cost a ton of money day- to- day but you want to be able to deal with big health issues when they come up. A few questions to consider: Is the breed you're interested in prone to any expensive chronic health issues? How big are they (this will affect food cost)? Are you someone who would spend as much money as needed if your pet was sick (for instance needed treatment for cancer)?
posted by geegollygosh at 5:09 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
I think this is definitely true of a puppy, and probably a high- energy dog like a border collie, but I adopted a middle aged chihuahua in my 20s and he really wasn't much work until the very end of his life due to health issues. A few shortish walks a day, and always up to come along on a hike or adventure but otherwise a cuddly couch potato. I'm not suggesting you get a chihuahua (though I am a convert) but maybe consider whether the breed you love is the best fit for you right now and definitely consider an adult dog.
I'm around your age. The biggest constraint on my life was that I would have to get a dog sitter or bring him along for a long day trip or a trip away (either option is a bit inconvienent). This was more of an issue because I'm childless and prone to just taking off for a few days.
As for money, it's a little hard to know without knowing your finances. I would make sure that you have at least a few a thousand in an emergency fund and access to credit beyond that. Dogs don't necessarily cost a ton of money day- to- day but you want to be able to deal with big health issues when they come up. A few questions to consider: Is the breed you're interested in prone to any expensive chronic health issues? How big are they (this will affect food cost)? Are you someone who would spend as much money as needed if your pet was sick (for instance needed treatment for cancer)?
posted by geegollygosh at 5:09 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
I've written here before about my experience having a purebred dog.
A few thoughts: dogs are wonderful. I have two dogs with two very different personalities and sets of needs, and I can't imagine loving either of them more. Now that I work from home, I'm lucky I can be around them all the time. Dog 2 has had me around him 100% since he joined the family. Dog 1 spent the first several years of his life waiting for me to get home from work, and in hindsight I hate that. I'm glad you can work from home.
I am very concerned about your lack of savings. Both of my dogs are older, but gratefully very healthy. I really haven't had any big expenses with either of them. They still cost money. I am a mid-high spender on food/treats ($100/month together, closer to $50/mo when I was budgeting this more) but they are small dogs and don't eat much. I am a low spender on vet care because they're pretty healthy ($6-700 ish a year for one dog with well visit, shots, and dental). You can get by without dental when the dog is young, but will probably need to consider that as your pet ages. A purebred dog from a breeder will also cost money just to buy it and you need to consider that.
My biggest dog cost this year wasn't vet related at all though, it went to Wag. One of my dogs got 2 teeth pulled and it still wasn't my biggest expense. I traveled in August, which is very rare for me, and the dogs stayed home. I hired a pet sitter from Wag to take care of them. It was the right choice (one of my dogs has emotional problems and can't be boarded, and is rude to my friends to boot) but it was also an expensive choice.
Long story short, I think dogs generally improve lives, but I also think it's important to be brutally realistic about it. You need to think of big life changes not from what you have the most to offer, but what you have the least. If someone came on here saying they have $10,000 a year to budget for dogs but they work outside the home for 12 hours a day, that wouldn't be ok either because they'd be poor on time.
posted by phunniemee at 5:19 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
A few thoughts: dogs are wonderful. I have two dogs with two very different personalities and sets of needs, and I can't imagine loving either of them more. Now that I work from home, I'm lucky I can be around them all the time. Dog 2 has had me around him 100% since he joined the family. Dog 1 spent the first several years of his life waiting for me to get home from work, and in hindsight I hate that. I'm glad you can work from home.
I am very concerned about your lack of savings. Both of my dogs are older, but gratefully very healthy. I really haven't had any big expenses with either of them. They still cost money. I am a mid-high spender on food/treats ($100/month together, closer to $50/mo when I was budgeting this more) but they are small dogs and don't eat much. I am a low spender on vet care because they're pretty healthy ($6-700 ish a year for one dog with well visit, shots, and dental). You can get by without dental when the dog is young, but will probably need to consider that as your pet ages. A purebred dog from a breeder will also cost money just to buy it and you need to consider that.
My biggest dog cost this year wasn't vet related at all though, it went to Wag. One of my dogs got 2 teeth pulled and it still wasn't my biggest expense. I traveled in August, which is very rare for me, and the dogs stayed home. I hired a pet sitter from Wag to take care of them. It was the right choice (one of my dogs has emotional problems and can't be boarded, and is rude to my friends to boot) but it was also an expensive choice.
Long story short, I think dogs generally improve lives, but I also think it's important to be brutally realistic about it. You need to think of big life changes not from what you have the most to offer, but what you have the least. If someone came on here saying they have $10,000 a year to budget for dogs but they work outside the home for 12 hours a day, that wouldn't be ok either because they'd be poor on time.
posted by phunniemee at 5:19 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Yes, puppy and baby at the same time may be more than you'll want to handle.
The shared back yard is a concern, antagonistic neighbors or not. I would think they should be considered, as not everybody would appreciate dealing with a dog. Also, security of back yard. A dog escaping is a nightmare.
An older pup might be good. If you're able to assess its anxiety levels. Some dogs have a hard time being alone, and will act out. For me, with 3 dogs, medical costs come to a few thousand a year. Plus grooming, if you have a dog that requires more than you can provide.
posted by 2N2222 at 5:22 AM on November 1, 2022
The shared back yard is a concern, antagonistic neighbors or not. I would think they should be considered, as not everybody would appreciate dealing with a dog. Also, security of back yard. A dog escaping is a nightmare.
An older pup might be good. If you're able to assess its anxiety levels. Some dogs have a hard time being alone, and will act out. For me, with 3 dogs, medical costs come to a few thousand a year. Plus grooming, if you have a dog that requires more than you can provide.
posted by 2N2222 at 5:22 AM on November 1, 2022
I am in a very similar situation. Single but I do have a kid. I was also terrified but got a dog last year mainly because of my kid. but the dog is my best best friend. Seriously. I love her so much. Yes, she’s a pain in the ass. Yes, when she was a puppy she ate a couple of my favorite pairs of shoes. Yes, she costs time and money.
But I wouldn’t ever want to go back to a life without her. She’s my BFF, my ride or die, my buddy. I went on a solo van camping trip for several nights which I never would have done if I didn’t have her.
I got a mini Aussie, whose exercise needs are challenging for me. But that also means I get out of the house multiple times a day and get much-needed fresh air and exercise.
So, as someone who had very many of the same concerns, I say go for it!
posted by missjenny at 5:45 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
But I wouldn’t ever want to go back to a life without her. She’s my BFF, my ride or die, my buddy. I went on a solo van camping trip for several nights which I never would have done if I didn’t have her.
I got a mini Aussie, whose exercise needs are challenging for me. But that also means I get out of the house multiple times a day and get much-needed fresh air and exercise.
So, as someone who had very many of the same concerns, I say go for it!
posted by missjenny at 5:45 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
I occasionally do home visits for a breed-specific rescue (basset hounds). I see my role as finding reasons TO give the family a dog. Not finding reasons NOT TO give the family a dog. This means aiming for good, not perfect.
If dogs bring you joy, and you are committed to caring for your dog for his whole life, then you should get a dog. It sounds like you already have a realistic picture of living with dogs. Go for it. You'll be richly rewarded.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 5:51 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
If dogs bring you joy, and you are committed to caring for your dog for his whole life, then you should get a dog. It sounds like you already have a realistic picture of living with dogs. Go for it. You'll be richly rewarded.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 5:51 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
Another thing you'll want to consider is increasing your personal liability coverage on your home/renter's insurance policy. If your dog goes galloping out into the backyard and accidentally injures your crappy neighbor, are they going to sue you?
Or, in a real story that actually happened to a family dog, your dog could dart out of the house while you're bringing in groceries and trip up a perfectly nice neighbor lady jogging down the street. She had no interest in personally profiting from us but she did have some very real medical bills, which the homeowner's insurance paid for.
posted by phunniemee at 6:04 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Or, in a real story that actually happened to a family dog, your dog could dart out of the house while you're bringing in groceries and trip up a perfectly nice neighbor lady jogging down the street. She had no interest in personally profiting from us but she did have some very real medical bills, which the homeowner's insurance paid for.
posted by phunniemee at 6:04 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Nthing that you would be better off getting an adult dog instead of a puppy. And you want an adult dog that's appropriate for a first-time dog owner. I know you like your mom's dogs, but finding an adult dog of a very specific breed can be hard, so maybe open your search a bit? Research breeds with the traits that you find appealing, and realize that not all dogs of that breed will have those traits. I'd recommend finding an experienced dog owner to help you vet any dogs you're thinking of adopting, and if you do go the adult dog route, try very hard to meet the dog (again, with an experienced dog person if possible) before you commit.
But yeah, get a dog! Having a dog makes my life better every single day because I get to give and receive unconditional love all the time, and I won't ever be without one.
posted by nosila at 6:15 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
But yeah, get a dog! Having a dog makes my life better every single day because I get to give and receive unconditional love all the time, and I won't ever be without one.
posted by nosila at 6:15 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
I really adore this breed and personality
If you are prepared to do some searching and waiting, one will eventually turn up at a rescue home, then keep the money you would have given the breeder as a reserve for possible vet bills. That said, I have found the best pet personalities tend to come from a mixed breed mutt.
posted by Lanark at 6:23 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
If you are prepared to do some searching and waiting, one will eventually turn up at a rescue home, then keep the money you would have given the breeder as a reserve for possible vet bills. That said, I have found the best pet personalities tend to come from a mixed breed mutt.
posted by Lanark at 6:23 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
The stressful job with longish hours seems like the biggest obstacle, especially if you want to get a puppy. If your job is stressful, maybe that means you're the kind of person who can handle stress and you'll cope with a puppy as effectively as you cope with the other stress you're used to. Or maybe it means you're already near the breaking point and having a puppy will be too much.
Take a look at r/puppy101 for some stories about life with a puppy. You will see a lot of people saying they're very depressed and anxious, crying every day, not eating or sleeping. Some of them post later that it got better and now they can't imagine life without their dog. Some of them rehome their puppies and decide never to get another one.
If you get a puppy, you will need to watch it every moment it's awake, or have it in a crate or pen. A 8 week old pup that has never been alone in its life is not going to be happy the first time you plunk it into a crate or pen and walk away. There's going to be whining and barking. It might be loud. Are your antagonistic neighbors in the same building? How are they going to react if they can hear the noise? Ideally, you gradually get the puppy comfortable with being alone so there isn't too much crying. But if you have to go to work a few days after bringing your puppy home you won't have time for that.
How flexible is your work? Imagine you're in a meeting and your puppy is sleeping in her crate in the next room. And then she wakes up in the middle of the meeting and of course she needs to go out right away. Can you take a break to take her out or do you have to listen to her yip and whine and know she's going to have to pee or poop in her crate or pen and maybe get it all over her and everything else (and the more she pees or poops inside, the harder it will be to get her house trained.)
It will probably take the puppy a while to get used to sleeping quietly in the crate all night and he may not be able to hold it for a whole night when he's little, so at first you probably won't be getting your usual amount of sleep. The lack of sleep and the difficulty of focusing on work while also paying attention to the puppy could make it hard for you to do your job effectively. It could go from stressful to completely unmanageable.
If you can take some vacation time right after you get your puppy or dog, that will make things easier. If you aren't able to get an adult dog, is there any chance your mom would like to raise a puppy for you, at least until it's house trained and crate trained?
posted by Redstart at 6:39 AM on November 1, 2022 [4 favorites]
Take a look at r/puppy101 for some stories about life with a puppy. You will see a lot of people saying they're very depressed and anxious, crying every day, not eating or sleeping. Some of them post later that it got better and now they can't imagine life without their dog. Some of them rehome their puppies and decide never to get another one.
If you get a puppy, you will need to watch it every moment it's awake, or have it in a crate or pen. A 8 week old pup that has never been alone in its life is not going to be happy the first time you plunk it into a crate or pen and walk away. There's going to be whining and barking. It might be loud. Are your antagonistic neighbors in the same building? How are they going to react if they can hear the noise? Ideally, you gradually get the puppy comfortable with being alone so there isn't too much crying. But if you have to go to work a few days after bringing your puppy home you won't have time for that.
How flexible is your work? Imagine you're in a meeting and your puppy is sleeping in her crate in the next room. And then she wakes up in the middle of the meeting and of course she needs to go out right away. Can you take a break to take her out or do you have to listen to her yip and whine and know she's going to have to pee or poop in her crate or pen and maybe get it all over her and everything else (and the more she pees or poops inside, the harder it will be to get her house trained.)
It will probably take the puppy a while to get used to sleeping quietly in the crate all night and he may not be able to hold it for a whole night when he's little, so at first you probably won't be getting your usual amount of sleep. The lack of sleep and the difficulty of focusing on work while also paying attention to the puppy could make it hard for you to do your job effectively. It could go from stressful to completely unmanageable.
If you can take some vacation time right after you get your puppy or dog, that will make things easier. If you aren't able to get an adult dog, is there any chance your mom would like to raise a puppy for you, at least until it's house trained and crate trained?
posted by Redstart at 6:39 AM on November 1, 2022 [4 favorites]
Puppies are similar to babies (as I understand them) in that:
- You will never actually be prepared for them, so if you wait to be prepared you will never get one
- You should get one because you deeply want one and for that reason alone, because no other rationale will ever really outweigh what a pain in the ass they are
- They are a miserable amount of work and you will curse yourself
- Even as you are cursing yourself you will already be unable to imagine life without them
All of the above means that it's hard for people to give you advice to get a dog or not based on rational reasons—those don't matter! We can give you plenty of advice on how to make the early months easier, like how to prepare your neighbors and why you should get pet insurance, but ultimately the decision has to be based on how much you want a dog, because that's the ultimate deciding factor. I've been a person who deeply wants a dog but has many rational reasons not to get a dog at this time, and I can attest that nobody can reason you out of wanting a dog if you want a dog.
THAT SAID, a lot of the above is mitigated with older dogs! I've had both an older rescue and a puppy rescue and though they both involved a period of "what have I done," it was MUCH easier and shorter with the older dog. If you're set on this breeder, well, again, there's a limited amount of work that rational reasoning can do here. But as much as I love my puppy and immediately couldn't imagine life without her, she was orders of magnitude more challenging than a two-year-old dog and I think opting for an older dog would make many of the things you're concerned about easier.
posted by babelfish at 7:01 AM on November 1, 2022 [4 favorites]
- You will never actually be prepared for them, so if you wait to be prepared you will never get one
- You should get one because you deeply want one and for that reason alone, because no other rationale will ever really outweigh what a pain in the ass they are
- They are a miserable amount of work and you will curse yourself
- Even as you are cursing yourself you will already be unable to imagine life without them
All of the above means that it's hard for people to give you advice to get a dog or not based on rational reasons—those don't matter! We can give you plenty of advice on how to make the early months easier, like how to prepare your neighbors and why you should get pet insurance, but ultimately the decision has to be based on how much you want a dog, because that's the ultimate deciding factor. I've been a person who deeply wants a dog but has many rational reasons not to get a dog at this time, and I can attest that nobody can reason you out of wanting a dog if you want a dog.
THAT SAID, a lot of the above is mitigated with older dogs! I've had both an older rescue and a puppy rescue and though they both involved a period of "what have I done," it was MUCH easier and shorter with the older dog. If you're set on this breeder, well, again, there's a limited amount of work that rational reasoning can do here. But as much as I love my puppy and immediately couldn't imagine life without her, she was orders of magnitude more challenging than a two-year-old dog and I think opting for an older dog would make many of the things you're concerned about easier.
posted by babelfish at 7:01 AM on November 1, 2022 [4 favorites]
I've owned a dog, lived with roommates'/partners' dogs, and been a professional in-home pet sitter.
I don't think most people realize just how much money and freedom is lost to a dog. If you want to spontaneously go on a weekend away, or stay out later at dinner, or spend the weekend caring for a sick relative - the dog can be an issue for all of these. You can always arrange pet care, but that's expensive.
Pet insurance, food, toys, supplies, increased cleaning are just your regular expenses. Then there's sitters, medical issues/emergency vet visits...it can really add up.
I've also learned that no matter your intentions and training etc, you could end up with a dog with serious issues: aggression, separation anxiety, medical conditions.
Finally, the interruption to sleep! Even with older dogs, they can wake you with their licking, scratching, needing to go out...this is honestly the thing that I've found most difficult to cope with.
I love dogs - they are the one thing that can make me smile and like the world again when I'm in the depths of depression. But I'll never own one again.
In your situation, petsitting in your home through an app like Rover could be a way to have frequent dog visitors while also *making* money. Could be win win?
posted by EarnestDeer at 7:02 AM on November 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
I don't think most people realize just how much money and freedom is lost to a dog. If you want to spontaneously go on a weekend away, or stay out later at dinner, or spend the weekend caring for a sick relative - the dog can be an issue for all of these. You can always arrange pet care, but that's expensive.
Pet insurance, food, toys, supplies, increased cleaning are just your regular expenses. Then there's sitters, medical issues/emergency vet visits...it can really add up.
I've also learned that no matter your intentions and training etc, you could end up with a dog with serious issues: aggression, separation anxiety, medical conditions.
Finally, the interruption to sleep! Even with older dogs, they can wake you with their licking, scratching, needing to go out...this is honestly the thing that I've found most difficult to cope with.
I love dogs - they are the one thing that can make me smile and like the world again when I'm in the depths of depression. But I'll never own one again.
In your situation, petsitting in your home through an app like Rover could be a way to have frequent dog visitors while also *making* money. Could be win win?
posted by EarnestDeer at 7:02 AM on November 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
I loved having dogs, which I did for about 25 years up until earlier this year. I now love not having dogs.
There is a lot of quiet overhead to having pets, and it's a lot louder if you're single and particularly if you live alone. You are tethered to home, with maximum durations of about 8 hours - and that's for a healthy adult dog who hasn't reached its senior years, and it's a hell of a lot easier to manage with two people who can tag-team. Any overnight travel will have a canine surcharge of $50-100/day and you will have to make travel arrangements that accommodate whatever your pet needs done (dropoff/pickup to a facility or friend, preparing for a sitter in your home, etc). A modest medical emergency or accident starts the meter at about $300. You will have to manage your home decor and general habits to create a safe environment.
If you do not put in some serious work up front for training and socializing, you will further have to shape your life to accommodate whatever one weird intense personality quirk you end up with in a dog. Stuff like not being good on walks, not getting along with some/all other dogs, separation anxiety, stress behaviors that result in damage or injury, or some other thing I can't even predict. Even if you have an incredibly well-trained dog, that isn't 100% insurance against anxiety issues, allergies, random health issues, the aftermath of accidents or trauma.
And all of this would make me deeply concerned about a shared situation with prickly people. I've had some pretty serious neighbor issues that were exacerbated by somebody's dog. I think you're hand-waving away what is nearly guaranteed to be significant additional stress from introducing a dog into this dynamic.
I also think having a dog and a baby - which may well be really rewarding in some ways too - when it's just you is going to be exceptionally stressful. It will be on you, 24/7, to keep both of them from injuring or upsetting each other. You will have to work quite hard in the middle of an already-hard set of tasks to make sure the dog's quality of life doesn't degrade any more than it's going to have to.
Adding to that is something new: veterinary care is getting harder and harder to obtain. It's a shit job, it's a traumatic job, it is now a terrible-paying job that will maybe never pay off the debt incurred to get the degrees. Suicide rates are some of the worst in the country, by occupation, for veterinarians. Every good vet I've had over the past 4 years - all women under 40 - have left the industry or shifted to some kind of agricultural work and were obviously in serious burnout before they quit. I was pretty lucky where I was in Los Angeles that my vet practice was super busy but always had some emergency availability, but I've had friends in other cities waiting weeks to be seen for non-emergent issues and a couple of heartbreaking situations where immediate medical care or emergency euthanasia was simply unavailable.
The last 5 years as my dogs became seniors were a lot tougher than we admitted to ourselves at the time. It's just really hard.
I suspect we will have a dog again one day, but this time it won't be without serious consideration about what it means for our lifestyle and what it means to give a dog a decent life.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:23 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
There is a lot of quiet overhead to having pets, and it's a lot louder if you're single and particularly if you live alone. You are tethered to home, with maximum durations of about 8 hours - and that's for a healthy adult dog who hasn't reached its senior years, and it's a hell of a lot easier to manage with two people who can tag-team. Any overnight travel will have a canine surcharge of $50-100/day and you will have to make travel arrangements that accommodate whatever your pet needs done (dropoff/pickup to a facility or friend, preparing for a sitter in your home, etc). A modest medical emergency or accident starts the meter at about $300. You will have to manage your home decor and general habits to create a safe environment.
If you do not put in some serious work up front for training and socializing, you will further have to shape your life to accommodate whatever one weird intense personality quirk you end up with in a dog. Stuff like not being good on walks, not getting along with some/all other dogs, separation anxiety, stress behaviors that result in damage or injury, or some other thing I can't even predict. Even if you have an incredibly well-trained dog, that isn't 100% insurance against anxiety issues, allergies, random health issues, the aftermath of accidents or trauma.
And all of this would make me deeply concerned about a shared situation with prickly people. I've had some pretty serious neighbor issues that were exacerbated by somebody's dog. I think you're hand-waving away what is nearly guaranteed to be significant additional stress from introducing a dog into this dynamic.
I also think having a dog and a baby - which may well be really rewarding in some ways too - when it's just you is going to be exceptionally stressful. It will be on you, 24/7, to keep both of them from injuring or upsetting each other. You will have to work quite hard in the middle of an already-hard set of tasks to make sure the dog's quality of life doesn't degrade any more than it's going to have to.
Adding to that is something new: veterinary care is getting harder and harder to obtain. It's a shit job, it's a traumatic job, it is now a terrible-paying job that will maybe never pay off the debt incurred to get the degrees. Suicide rates are some of the worst in the country, by occupation, for veterinarians. Every good vet I've had over the past 4 years - all women under 40 - have left the industry or shifted to some kind of agricultural work and were obviously in serious burnout before they quit. I was pretty lucky where I was in Los Angeles that my vet practice was super busy but always had some emergency availability, but I've had friends in other cities waiting weeks to be seen for non-emergent issues and a couple of heartbreaking situations where immediate medical care or emergency euthanasia was simply unavailable.
The last 5 years as my dogs became seniors were a lot tougher than we admitted to ourselves at the time. It's just really hard.
I suspect we will have a dog again one day, but this time it won't be without serious consideration about what it means for our lifestyle and what it means to give a dog a decent life.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:23 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
I'm a year into dog ownership, after loving dogs but being a cat person for the first 40 years off my life. A year in, I love this goofy goober more than I thought possible, but I'm not gonna lie - that first year is tough. Puppy blues are a very real thing. I'm well accustomed to high medical bills (thanks cats) and the puppers was not an exception. It was pet insurance that made it tolerable, but we're still talking a grand here and there. And now that the weather has turned, I've learned how fragile her potty training is - add some rain and my princess pup has decided pooping inside is better than out. And everything I do now requires a thought about the pup. She has separation anxiety, so I can't leave her home alone without seriously stressing her out and pissing off my neighbours... which means making sure she has daycare ($$) or someone to watch her, or can come with me - or I don't go.
There's a common saying that after one you often feel like you want to get your dog a dog... and i admit I do, but the idea of dealing with all the puppy issues again, the sleepiness nights, all the training (I've spent so much time and effort on training, which is fun, but a lot of work!)... I'm not up to doing it again for a while.
Like I said, I love this goofy pup more than I thought possible. She filled a hole in my heart I knew I had, but in a way I didn't expect. She's curled up and snoring on her bed by my feet as I type, and it just makes me so happy to watch her little tail twitch as she dreams. But there are definitely times I don't really like her all that much :D I spent the first 6 months of ownership wishing she would hurry up and grow out of her crazy puppy stage, her land shark phase, her obnoxious teenage pup phase. Not I want her to leave the damn cats alone, let me leave the house for 5 minutes, and please just poop in the rain!
So - should you get a dog? Does all the above (which is just a subset of life with pup, lol) sound like something your life can handle being added? If so - do it! She's added so much to my life. I don't regret my decision. But I'm not sure I'd make it again, at least not right now.
posted by cgg at 7:29 AM on November 1, 2022
There's a common saying that after one you often feel like you want to get your dog a dog... and i admit I do, but the idea of dealing with all the puppy issues again, the sleepiness nights, all the training (I've spent so much time and effort on training, which is fun, but a lot of work!)... I'm not up to doing it again for a while.
Like I said, I love this goofy pup more than I thought possible. She filled a hole in my heart I knew I had, but in a way I didn't expect. She's curled up and snoring on her bed by my feet as I type, and it just makes me so happy to watch her little tail twitch as she dreams. But there are definitely times I don't really like her all that much :D I spent the first 6 months of ownership wishing she would hurry up and grow out of her crazy puppy stage, her land shark phase, her obnoxious teenage pup phase. Not I want her to leave the damn cats alone, let me leave the house for 5 minutes, and please just poop in the rain!
So - should you get a dog? Does all the above (which is just a subset of life with pup, lol) sound like something your life can handle being added? If so - do it! She's added so much to my life. I don't regret my decision. But I'm not sure I'd make it again, at least not right now.
posted by cgg at 7:29 AM on November 1, 2022
I have realized over the years that I'm really not a dog person (any more?), so weigh that accordingly. However, even in talking to people who are dog people, having a baby can really tip the balance on what's an act of love and what's Yet Another Thing to Do. The easiest solution to that is generally "throw money at the problem" in the form of outsourcing labor for pet grooming, extra house cleaning, even some number of walks/week, but of course babies/kids are expensive too. Just something to consider. I worry I probably sound like a monster saying that in this thread full of people who are just besotted with their dogs, but once I too adored fluffy mammals living out their fluffy mammal lives with me in pampered luxury. There was just a very real, distinct, and entirely involuntary shift in my feelings after having the baby and now the sense of imposition upon my life is much greater and I generally am much more internally detached from the pets.
posted by teremala at 7:37 AM on November 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by teremala at 7:37 AM on November 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
If you want a baby, I think you would be happiest if you commit to that goal for future-you, and don’t add the extra stress of a dog to that time in your life.
Babies plus pets are a lot of work. You just feel “needed” constantly, plus hygiene issues of the baby trying to touch / eat pet stuff, time and energy issues with walks, baby sleep issues compounded by pet noise, exhaustion from cleaning up fur, spills, and pee / poop accidents. Most importantly, keeping the pet safe from being grabbed by a mobile baby / toddler up til the youngest child is about 5 years old. Some dogs really do not adjust well to little kid energy and it’s a big safety concern.
I love my cat but I truly don’t enjoy having a pet alongside young children. If I were doing it single, I would really greatly not enjoy it. Like - really.
If a baby is the goal, hold out for the baby. If the baby doesn’t work out then maybe plan to get a dog at that time.
in the meantime, consider short term fosters or dog sitting instead?
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:56 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
Babies plus pets are a lot of work. You just feel “needed” constantly, plus hygiene issues of the baby trying to touch / eat pet stuff, time and energy issues with walks, baby sleep issues compounded by pet noise, exhaustion from cleaning up fur, spills, and pee / poop accidents. Most importantly, keeping the pet safe from being grabbed by a mobile baby / toddler up til the youngest child is about 5 years old. Some dogs really do not adjust well to little kid energy and it’s a big safety concern.
I love my cat but I truly don’t enjoy having a pet alongside young children. If I were doing it single, I would really greatly not enjoy it. Like - really.
If a baby is the goal, hold out for the baby. If the baby doesn’t work out then maybe plan to get a dog at that time.
in the meantime, consider short term fosters or dog sitting instead?
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:56 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
I think babelfish has it exactly right, both about the pros and cons and about how some of those cons can be mitigated by getting an adult dog. It really is a question of what's in your heart.
That said, I put off getting a dog for years because of a strictly middle-class salary. I was not wrong. I've spent thousands on my little guy in his first year. Now, some of that is spoiling because I am getting paid a bit more now and I don't have kids, and some of that is special behavioral and medical needs, but while you can be stern with yourself about the former, you can't predict the latter. (A session with a skilled private trainer, which you would want if your dog has serious behavioral issues, in NYC will run you $350. I can't imagine it's that much cheaper in LA.) And, if you don't have great cash flow, the travel restrictions are real. So saving up for a little while longer might not be the worst idea.
But if it's in your heart, and it's been there for a while, and it's survived spending time with actual dogs...
posted by praemunire at 8:04 AM on November 1, 2022
That said, I put off getting a dog for years because of a strictly middle-class salary. I was not wrong. I've spent thousands on my little guy in his first year. Now, some of that is spoiling because I am getting paid a bit more now and I don't have kids, and some of that is special behavioral and medical needs, but while you can be stern with yourself about the former, you can't predict the latter. (A session with a skilled private trainer, which you would want if your dog has serious behavioral issues, in NYC will run you $350. I can't imagine it's that much cheaper in LA.) And, if you don't have great cash flow, the travel restrictions are real. So saving up for a little while longer might not be the worst idea.
But if it's in your heart, and it's been there for a while, and it's survived spending time with actual dogs...
posted by praemunire at 8:04 AM on November 1, 2022
I think you should foster a dog for six months before you get one of your own.
There are two issues surrounding getting a dog. One is the financial burden and the other is if you can be a good enough dog owner. You know what breed of dog you want and the breeder you want to get one from. Since most dogs are at least a decade of commitment, waiting a year to get your forever dog is not postponing it a lot in terms of the arc of your life's path. But fostering a dog that you can return is a good way to check out how big the adaptions you will need to make really are, and how well you can handle them.
If you foster a dog you can get the practice with all the work and training that they require, where there is an end is sight if it turns out to be a bigger burden than you can realistically carry. You might not have to deal with the financial side of it, but you do get an idea of what the daily and monthly bills are. You will know there is a looming deadline to train the dog, that it's not acceptable to just hand it on to a new family without having made any effort to socialize and instill good habits, where if there is no deadline you may be tempted to postpone training, or skip it because it is easier to train yourself, the way some dog owners do when they deal with untrained and un-socialized small dogs by picking them up.
You will get a chance to see how well your neighbours and you can adapt to having a dog and if it turns out that there is no way you can ever bring the foster dog into the yard, let alone leave it there, you have only a few months of dealing with having a dog and no yard, and having to take it to parks and walking trails on a daily basis.
Once you foster a dog for a few months you will be going into having a forever dog with a much better idea what you are letting yourself in for. You'll know how little life you have unless it includes the dog, and will know if you can adapt to going out several times a day, in all kinds of weather, and if you can still have a social life without having to go out and leave your dog all alone. You'll learn about stuff you maybe didn't know you'd have to do, like how to do the grab, pinion, and pry the mouth open move, and if you are capable of it.
If you are not up to the commitment to a foster dog for six months, then you are probably not up to the commitment of a forever dog. If you love your future forever dog, you will want to be the best dog owner you can be, and that includes getting the training and practicing to be a good dog owner before it comes into your life.
posted by Jane the Brown at 8:55 AM on November 1, 2022 [4 favorites]
There are two issues surrounding getting a dog. One is the financial burden and the other is if you can be a good enough dog owner. You know what breed of dog you want and the breeder you want to get one from. Since most dogs are at least a decade of commitment, waiting a year to get your forever dog is not postponing it a lot in terms of the arc of your life's path. But fostering a dog that you can return is a good way to check out how big the adaptions you will need to make really are, and how well you can handle them.
If you foster a dog you can get the practice with all the work and training that they require, where there is an end is sight if it turns out to be a bigger burden than you can realistically carry. You might not have to deal with the financial side of it, but you do get an idea of what the daily and monthly bills are. You will know there is a looming deadline to train the dog, that it's not acceptable to just hand it on to a new family without having made any effort to socialize and instill good habits, where if there is no deadline you may be tempted to postpone training, or skip it because it is easier to train yourself, the way some dog owners do when they deal with untrained and un-socialized small dogs by picking them up.
You will get a chance to see how well your neighbours and you can adapt to having a dog and if it turns out that there is no way you can ever bring the foster dog into the yard, let alone leave it there, you have only a few months of dealing with having a dog and no yard, and having to take it to parks and walking trails on a daily basis.
Once you foster a dog for a few months you will be going into having a forever dog with a much better idea what you are letting yourself in for. You'll know how little life you have unless it includes the dog, and will know if you can adapt to going out several times a day, in all kinds of weather, and if you can still have a social life without having to go out and leave your dog all alone. You'll learn about stuff you maybe didn't know you'd have to do, like how to do the grab, pinion, and pry the mouth open move, and if you are capable of it.
If you are not up to the commitment to a foster dog for six months, then you are probably not up to the commitment of a forever dog. If you love your future forever dog, you will want to be the best dog owner you can be, and that includes getting the training and practicing to be a good dog owner before it comes into your life.
posted by Jane the Brown at 8:55 AM on November 1, 2022 [4 favorites]
I also thought I wanted a dog, so I fostered three different ones for about a two months period, and realized I actually don't have the capacity for a dog right now. Highly recommend fostering. You might also just fall in love with a pup and end up keeping them.
posted by monologish at 9:05 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by monologish at 9:05 AM on November 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
My three biggest concerns for you are neighbors, money and time.
When you say "shared backyard" do you mean that if you let the dog outside in the back yard, it would also be in their back yard? Dogs pee, and it makes yellow/dead spots on lawns. They poop, and it is hard to find and easy to step in. They bark, and they are loud and sometimes disruptive outside. They chew things, weird things, like water hoses and chair legs. Are things that are likely to trigger crankiness in your neighbors? If so, think hard about this, because you could be letting yourself in for a lot of anxiety and stress.
Money is a big deal. Dogs are expensive. Medical care/pet insurance, tooth & gum treatments, tooth extractions, weird infections, parasites, back problems, hip problems... they get all the same stuff we get, but it's more expensive because almost every serious procedure for a dog requires sedation. Pet food is an ongoing expense. Pet toys. Baggies for poop. Bowls and pads to stick under bowls so dog food doesn't stick to your floor. Puppy pads for accidents when they're young. Brushes and shampoos and flea/tick treatments and heart worm medicine. How much stress are these things going to put on your finances?
The last concerning thing is time/attention. Just walking won't be enough for a puppy. They require extensive interaction and training in the beginning. They'll need play to help socialize them, exposure to other humans, exposure to crowds, exposure to cars, exposure to other animals (dogs & cats) so they can be good canine citizens and not be shocked by new things when they're already set in their ways. Just something to consider with your work load. Working from home is great, but the dog will interrupt your meetings with needs, and will not understand that you can't drop everything for them.
All of that said... if you really feel you can take a dog in without fear of not meeting its needs, not paying your bills, and not driving your neighbors into a wild rage, then go for it, because dogs are great. I love mine and you sound like a potentially great dog parent. Best of luck!
posted by invincible summer at 9:28 AM on November 1, 2022
When you say "shared backyard" do you mean that if you let the dog outside in the back yard, it would also be in their back yard? Dogs pee, and it makes yellow/dead spots on lawns. They poop, and it is hard to find and easy to step in. They bark, and they are loud and sometimes disruptive outside. They chew things, weird things, like water hoses and chair legs. Are things that are likely to trigger crankiness in your neighbors? If so, think hard about this, because you could be letting yourself in for a lot of anxiety and stress.
Money is a big deal. Dogs are expensive. Medical care/pet insurance, tooth & gum treatments, tooth extractions, weird infections, parasites, back problems, hip problems... they get all the same stuff we get, but it's more expensive because almost every serious procedure for a dog requires sedation. Pet food is an ongoing expense. Pet toys. Baggies for poop. Bowls and pads to stick under bowls so dog food doesn't stick to your floor. Puppy pads for accidents when they're young. Brushes and shampoos and flea/tick treatments and heart worm medicine. How much stress are these things going to put on your finances?
The last concerning thing is time/attention. Just walking won't be enough for a puppy. They require extensive interaction and training in the beginning. They'll need play to help socialize them, exposure to other humans, exposure to crowds, exposure to cars, exposure to other animals (dogs & cats) so they can be good canine citizens and not be shocked by new things when they're already set in their ways. Just something to consider with your work load. Working from home is great, but the dog will interrupt your meetings with needs, and will not understand that you can't drop everything for them.
All of that said... if you really feel you can take a dog in without fear of not meeting its needs, not paying your bills, and not driving your neighbors into a wild rage, then go for it, because dogs are great. I love mine and you sound like a potentially great dog parent. Best of luck!
posted by invincible summer at 9:28 AM on November 1, 2022
I would just echo Lyn Never's points about how hard it is if you're single. My life is hugely enriched by him but would be so, so much easier without him. And he's a healthy, small, reasonably behaved dog, and I don't have a baby, and I have very tolerant neighbors who somehow don't mind his 5 am barksplosions at squirrels real and imagined.
posted by HotToddy at 10:53 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by HotToddy at 10:53 AM on November 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
I love the shit out of my dog and she brings so much joy to my life. I would say yes to the dog with a few caveats:
- having a puppy is a LOT of work. I think they are so damn cute so you will put up with all their bullshit. At the time I was working from home while my partner was away at work for long hours, and the struggle got pretty real at times.
- I would make sure there’s a good pet insurance that fits with your budget, and a good vet nearby that is accepting new clients, before you get the dog.
- I would make sure that you have friends or family who are happy to dogsit when you travel. Yes there are dogsitting services but I feel a lot better leaving my dog with somebody I know.
posted by vanitas at 11:29 AM on November 1, 2022
- having a puppy is a LOT of work. I think they are so damn cute so you will put up with all their bullshit. At the time I was working from home while my partner was away at work for long hours, and the struggle got pretty real at times.
- I would make sure there’s a good pet insurance that fits with your budget, and a good vet nearby that is accepting new clients, before you get the dog.
- I would make sure that you have friends or family who are happy to dogsit when you travel. Yes there are dogsitting services but I feel a lot better leaving my dog with somebody I know.
posted by vanitas at 11:29 AM on November 1, 2022
If you could only pick one option would you rather have 4 legged dependent(s) or 2 legged one(s)?
It sounds like even without expanding your household you (like most people) have time and financial constraints. Therefore you might want to at least get a ball park estimate of what it would cost to expand (and then maintain) your household with a dog, with a child, and with a dog + a child. And then, can you turn those estimates into a workable financial plan?
Relatedly, you might also want to consider setting aside $x /month for a period of time where $x is your expected monthly cost for having a dog/ child.
posted by oceano at 7:30 PM on November 1, 2022
It sounds like even without expanding your household you (like most people) have time and financial constraints. Therefore you might want to at least get a ball park estimate of what it would cost to expand (and then maintain) your household with a dog, with a child, and with a dog + a child. And then, can you turn those estimates into a workable financial plan?
Relatedly, you might also want to consider setting aside $x /month for a period of time where $x is your expected monthly cost for having a dog/ child.
posted by oceano at 7:30 PM on November 1, 2022
I have come to this realization a bit later in life, but I can no longer "get" a dog in the same way I wouldn't "get" a person. I could adopt a child, I can technically be involved in procreating a child, and people are not dogs. But I've taken three dogs to be put to sleep over the years and I wept over a dog struck by a car on the highway, and just reframing this as "Am I ready to share my life with a dog" is something worth considering. Many millions of people get dogs and are passable "owners" of dogs, and at the risk of sounding ridiculous I just can't approach this question that way.
I constantly marvel at the human-canine relationship that has emerged over the thousands of years. Good luck. Dogs are wonderful, the worst dog I've ever met doesn't hold a candle to the (human) creeps I've encountered.
posted by elkevelvet at 1:09 PM on November 2, 2022
I constantly marvel at the human-canine relationship that has emerged over the thousands of years. Good luck. Dogs are wonderful, the worst dog I've ever met doesn't hold a candle to the (human) creeps I've encountered.
posted by elkevelvet at 1:09 PM on November 2, 2022
I lost my dog of 12 years in June. I am not ready for a new dog for various reasons but still need some doggie love. I signed up for Trusted Housesitters and have been staying in beautiful homes taking care of dogs for the past several. I live in LA and have done some locally and will be doing some a bit outside of local (San Diego). The beauty of this arrangement is that I can spend enough time with the dogs to bond with them, which helps fulfill my need for doggie love, and I get to live in nice homes, exploring new neighborhoods. I could potentially travel much farther, even to different countries, but for now this is great. Like you, I work remotely, so I can pretty much go anywhere and continue to work. It might be a solution in the short-term. I must say that there is something different when the relationship is with your own dog, but honestly, when you are the only caretaker of a dog for a few days, the bond is real.
posted by parkerposey at 8:39 AM on November 3, 2022
posted by parkerposey at 8:39 AM on November 3, 2022
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by LadyOscar at 10:12 PM on October 31, 2022 [3 favorites]