Solo air travel with toddler?
October 21, 2022 1:23 PM Subscribe
I'm a week away from flying from Europe to Australia alone with my 1.5 year old daughter. How do you eat an airplane meal with a baby on your lap?
We've been on one long flight (8 hours) before with her, and it was fine but I was travelling with my wife and we took turns walking her up and down the aisle etc. This time around I'll be on my own, on a longer flight. I'll have snacks/treats/toys etc, but when it comes to meals I can't think of how to have her on my lap, with the tray table down, and not end up with food everywhere. I'm hoping there will be a spare seat or a friendly neighbour, but in the absence of that... what do you do?
I feel a bit ridiculous asking the question, but honestly can't figure it out!
We've been on one long flight (8 hours) before with her, and it was fine but I was travelling with my wife and we took turns walking her up and down the aisle etc. This time around I'll be on my own, on a longer flight. I'll have snacks/treats/toys etc, but when it comes to meals I can't think of how to have her on my lap, with the tray table down, and not end up with food everywhere. I'm hoping there will be a spare seat or a friendly neighbour, but in the absence of that... what do you do?
I feel a bit ridiculous asking the question, but honestly can't figure it out!
Maybe request a "special meal". Those are always served first and it's not uncommon to finish eating well before the meal cart comes by with the regular meals (give them your tray when they do). That way maybe you can have a neighbor hold the baby while you eat. Also keep an eye on the seating chart online and ask the agent when you check in re how full the flight will be. Maybe you'll luck out with an empty seat nearby. The middle section of four seats is least popular.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 2:12 PM on October 21, 2022
posted by TWinbrook8 at 2:12 PM on October 21, 2022
I would get her her own ticket so you have enough space & a place where she can fall asleep.
posted by bleep at 2:15 PM on October 21, 2022 [23 favorites]
posted by bleep at 2:15 PM on October 21, 2022 [23 favorites]
On the one hand, buying the kid a separate seat on an intercontinental flight is probably not cheap. Skyscanner looks like $700+ USD round trip. On the other hand, you're going to be in the air for nearly a full day. Are you really going to be able to hold a kid that long? That's going to exhaust you.
If you have to keep her on your lap, my solution is two-fold. A) Eat while she's sleeping. B) Eat something you don't need to put the tray table down for, like a sandwich or a wrap. It's probably not the best solution, but dropping a grand on another seat probably isn't, either.
posted by kevinbelt at 2:30 PM on October 21, 2022 [2 favorites]
If you have to keep her on your lap, my solution is two-fold. A) Eat while she's sleeping. B) Eat something you don't need to put the tray table down for, like a sandwich or a wrap. It's probably not the best solution, but dropping a grand on another seat probably isn't, either.
posted by kevinbelt at 2:30 PM on October 21, 2022 [2 favorites]
If you can stand the grossness factor for a few minutes, my daughter was very determined to sit on the floor between my feet for a good long while at that age.
Other options would be to buy her her own seat or if that wasn’t available, then I personally wouldn’t count on being able to eat an airline meal and would just bring a ton of one-handed snacks and drink from covered bottles throughout the flight.
posted by anderjen at 2:31 PM on October 21, 2022 [3 favorites]
Other options would be to buy her her own seat or if that wasn’t available, then I personally wouldn’t count on being able to eat an airline meal and would just bring a ton of one-handed snacks and drink from covered bottles throughout the flight.
posted by anderjen at 2:31 PM on October 21, 2022 [3 favorites]
And for the love of god, don’t get a drink unless it has a closed lid top.
posted by Sassyfras at 2:38 PM on October 21, 2022
posted by Sassyfras at 2:38 PM on October 21, 2022
Seconding the bassinet. It might be an upcharge (looks like, eg, Qantas will make you pay) but it might be worth it for that long of a flight!
Otherwise, do you have a carrier that you can sit in? You might be able to squeeze the tray down, or at the very least, have your hands free.
posted by damayanti at 2:52 PM on October 21, 2022
Otherwise, do you have a carrier that you can sit in? You might be able to squeeze the tray down, or at the very least, have your hands free.
posted by damayanti at 2:52 PM on October 21, 2022
those bassinets are for little babies, not toddlers.
if you can possibly afford it, get her a seat. I've traveled with a lap infant, and even that's difficult; you can't sleep but at least they can, when they're very small. Food is the least of it (although that will suck too, since you won't be able to lean down to get to your bag if your kid is on your lap.) Bigger issue is likely to be tiredness; I don't think a toddler is going to be able to sleep on you comfortably in a one seat setup, and it's going to be very rough.
If you really can't afford to get her a seat, pick your own seat to be a crummy one towards the back of the plane in the middle section, where you're most likely to have an empty one next to you.
posted by fingersandtoes at 3:29 PM on October 21, 2022 [4 favorites]
if you can possibly afford it, get her a seat. I've traveled with a lap infant, and even that's difficult; you can't sleep but at least they can, when they're very small. Food is the least of it (although that will suck too, since you won't be able to lean down to get to your bag if your kid is on your lap.) Bigger issue is likely to be tiredness; I don't think a toddler is going to be able to sleep on you comfortably in a one seat setup, and it's going to be very rough.
If you really can't afford to get her a seat, pick your own seat to be a crummy one towards the back of the plane in the middle section, where you're most likely to have an empty one next to you.
posted by fingersandtoes at 3:29 PM on October 21, 2022 [4 favorites]
Not to be too gross, but you will also have to figure out what to do with her when you need to use the bathroom and change her diaper. The floor works well, so bring a towel you can lay her on. A flight attendant will probably be happy to help hold her while you use the bathroom, if you can manage to time it between food services. Good luck - I found the walking-but-pre-talking age the most challenging period for airline travel. I once has a flight attendant offer me benadryl after my almost 2 year old daughter spent literally an hour running up and down the aisle, and screaming when restrained. (Not sure if she was serious, as I looked at her in shock, but I did feel sorry for the other passengers. It was a pretty hellacious flight for all of us.)
posted by citygirl at 3:53 PM on October 21, 2022
posted by citygirl at 3:53 PM on October 21, 2022
I have flown from Europe to Australia. It's a hellaciously long flight (or more than one, depending on refuelling and connections) even without a large baby/small child on your lap the entire way. You don't want to leave it to chance that there might be an extra seat or a child-loving fellow passenger/ flight attendant. Book two seats. Expensive, yes, but isn't your sanity worth it?
posted by Athanassiel at 5:14 PM on October 21, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Athanassiel at 5:14 PM on October 21, 2022 [3 favorites]
And also is it worth ruining your seatmate's experience. They aren't consenting to be your assistant.
posted by bleep at 5:19 PM on October 21, 2022 [14 favorites]
posted by bleep at 5:19 PM on October 21, 2022 [14 favorites]
I have heard of people bringing their car seat. Book her a seat, set up car seat. Be mindful of getting her out of the seat every few hours, as is recommended for any extended trip in a car seat.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 5:57 PM on October 21, 2022
posted by kinddieserzeit at 5:57 PM on October 21, 2022
Nthing the "buy her a seat if you possibly can". Besides the (statistically more likely) issue of it being a miserable experience for everyone involved if she has to spend the whole flight on your lap, I'm always amazed that lap babies are allowed due to the safety issue. Even adults not belted in during severe turbulence have been seriously injured or killed, and I remember at least one "Air Disasters" show mentioning rescuers desperately trying to find a lap infant who had been thrown into some other part of the plane wreckage. (I'm also salty about the fact that at various times I've been asked for safety reasons to stow tablet sized electronics, small purses, and a stuffed toy penguin, all of which weigh much less than a toddler should they become projectiles!)
posted by LadyOscar at 6:12 PM on October 21, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by LadyOscar at 6:12 PM on October 21, 2022 [6 favorites]
I would not do this without getting the toddler her own seat AND taking a car seat with me so kid could sleep strapped in and vaguely comfortably. At that age my daughter slept all the way to Europe from Boston, no different than a long car ride. If I’d had to hold her she wouldn’t have slept and both myself and everyone else in my section of the plane would have lost our minds.
posted by lydhre at 6:45 PM on October 21, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by lydhre at 6:45 PM on October 21, 2022 [7 favorites]
I flew BA with my partner when kid A was 6 months old, we got a bassinet for no extra charge. That won’t work for a 1.5 yr old, but they also had toddler seats that could occupy the same slot, the family next to us were using them.
That said,if you possibly can, a seat of their own is the way to go. If you really really need to save the money I’d consider just skipping the meal altogether and bringing your own food you can eat 1 handed while cosing a toddler!
posted by Jon Mitchell at 7:56 PM on October 21, 2022
That said,if you possibly can, a seat of their own is the way to go. If you really really need to save the money I’d consider just skipping the meal altogether and bringing your own food you can eat 1 handed while cosing a toddler!
posted by Jon Mitchell at 7:56 PM on October 21, 2022
Here’s what the BA seat looks like: ba toddler seat review
posted by Jon Mitchell at 8:09 PM on October 21, 2022
posted by Jon Mitchell at 8:09 PM on October 21, 2022
I just flew a similar route albeit with a seated toddler and my partner so airline toddler life is fresh in my mind i also am aware that an extra long haul seat even at under 12 prices is not a practical ask. So let's work with what youve got
. Service depends a lot on the airline, i am guessing it might be with Qatar or Emirates Airways? If possible aim for a bassinet bulkhead seat which should be good up to 12kg maybe 14kg. Failing that I would err on the rear seats of the plane where you'll be closer to the galley, I would also aim for an aisle seat. If all goes well you could seat your kid in front of distracting videos and then stand up to eat as best you can.
With a kid under 2 you will be part of priority boarding, you'll also be given the extra lap belt extender and briefed about the infant life jacket, use this time to let your attendants know your concerns.
I think bringing a lidded cup eg a Keep Cup for both you and your kid is a great idea, ask for your juice etc to be poured into that as it will reduce spills. Have wet wipes to hand.
Distract said child with the bread roll or a squeeze pouch if they won't share food
Or better still request a special meal that might be less messy to eat and which can be shared with your kid eg the fruit platter or one of the mild asian meals and then ask the flight attendants if there are any leftover main meals that can be heated for you while kid eventually sleeps. Special meals are served ahead of the main service so this will make moving around much easier.
If all else fails ask the attendants for more baby food pouches and just eat them yourself. ;-)
You and child will survive this and so will your fellow passengers. There probably will be someone kind who will look out for you too.
Good luck
posted by pipstar at 6:44 AM on October 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
. Service depends a lot on the airline, i am guessing it might be with Qatar or Emirates Airways? If possible aim for a bassinet bulkhead seat which should be good up to 12kg maybe 14kg. Failing that I would err on the rear seats of the plane where you'll be closer to the galley, I would also aim for an aisle seat. If all goes well you could seat your kid in front of distracting videos and then stand up to eat as best you can.
With a kid under 2 you will be part of priority boarding, you'll also be given the extra lap belt extender and briefed about the infant life jacket, use this time to let your attendants know your concerns.
I think bringing a lidded cup eg a Keep Cup for both you and your kid is a great idea, ask for your juice etc to be poured into that as it will reduce spills. Have wet wipes to hand.
Distract said child with the bread roll or a squeeze pouch if they won't share food
Or better still request a special meal that might be less messy to eat and which can be shared with your kid eg the fruit platter or one of the mild asian meals and then ask the flight attendants if there are any leftover main meals that can be heated for you while kid eventually sleeps. Special meals are served ahead of the main service so this will make moving around much easier.
If all else fails ask the attendants for more baby food pouches and just eat them yourself. ;-)
You and child will survive this and so will your fellow passengers. There probably will be someone kind who will look out for you too.
Good luck
posted by pipstar at 6:44 AM on October 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
I flew Seattle to London on BA with a petite 15mo and he was comfortable in the toddler seat. And once flying Eva they had an extra bassinet on our flight and let us use it for our 2y3mo toddler as she was still well under the weight limit (we had to pay for her seat of course, but they sat us in the bulkhead row and we just used her seat for the diaper bag). Her feet stuck out the end but she was comfortable in there and preferred to lie flat. I hear a lot of people say bassinets are only for really tiny babies but it depends very much on the airline and the child in question.
That said, if you can't get a bassinet, I've had decent experiences holding my kids in a soft carrier like an Ergo and eating over their heads. The ideal situation is that they're asleep and you can drape a blanket or napkin over their head so you don't end up dropping a bunch of crumbs on the poor child.
If she's too big for a soft carrier you're going to have a tough flight. It's really critical to have an option to be able to use both your hands when solo traveling with a child this young.
posted by potrzebie at 11:40 AM on October 22, 2022
That said, if you can't get a bassinet, I've had decent experiences holding my kids in a soft carrier like an Ergo and eating over their heads. The ideal situation is that they're asleep and you can drape a blanket or napkin over their head so you don't end up dropping a bunch of crumbs on the poor child.
If she's too big for a soft carrier you're going to have a tough flight. It's really critical to have an option to be able to use both your hands when solo traveling with a child this young.
posted by potrzebie at 11:40 AM on October 22, 2022
Eat at the airport right before you get on the flight and pack snacks or food you can eat easily without a tray and cutlery. Eat again at your stopover. Should it work out that you have an extra seat or a way to manage your kid, you might manage an onboard meal too. Special meals come first and may mean you can stand up and eat some of it, while your kid is in the seat - get an aisle seat and near the galley or exits where there’s some extra space.
For a while, I didn’t eat on flights after reading some research on jet lag and would just snack lightly and eat on stopovers. It worked ok for me. Meals are a good distraction on planes but I find I am usually over fed if I eat everything they give me.
posted by AnnaRat at 3:34 PM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
For a while, I didn’t eat on flights after reading some research on jet lag and would just snack lightly and eat on stopovers. It worked ok for me. Meals are a good distraction on planes but I find I am usually over fed if I eat everything they give me.
posted by AnnaRat at 3:34 PM on October 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
Keep in mind that this is a Europe to Australia flight. That’s good advice for a domestic flight, or maybe even a transatlantic flight, but going without food for 21+ hours is impractical.
posted by kevinbelt at 3:57 PM on October 22, 2022
posted by kevinbelt at 3:57 PM on October 22, 2022
If you have a baby carrier you might be able to strap her in facing you so you can eat a sandwich that you packed or other snacks, and only risk dropping some food on her head as she wiggles. It will still be tricky to drink anything if it's not in a bottle/with a straw. But depending on your size and how she fits in the carrier, her legs might not fit around you in the seat so that plan might not work.
The carrier is how I went to the bathroom when flying solo. It was annoying to get my pants unbuckled and lowered from under the carrier, and more annoying to put them back on and buckle under the carrier, but there was no other way.
posted by never.was.and.never.will.be. at 7:58 PM on October 22, 2022
The carrier is how I went to the bathroom when flying solo. It was annoying to get my pants unbuckled and lowered from under the carrier, and more annoying to put them back on and buckle under the carrier, but there was no other way.
posted by never.was.and.never.will.be. at 7:58 PM on October 22, 2022
Kevinbelt, yes I realise the length of the flight, but I have still made that work for me so thought it worth suggesting Eg I would not usually eat for about 15 hours at home (between dinner and my late breakfast time) which is similar to the length of one of the legs to/from Europe and the Europe/Australia flights usually have at least one stopover so there is another chance to eat a good meal then. Sometimes I get a sandwich or something to take with me too if I think I might get hungry and therefore can eat something decent when I’m hungry, rather than when the airline decides to feed me.
Between a big meal at the airport before departure, a meal at the stopover and some snacks I’ve brought along or lighter parts of the meal which in this case could be managed standing or without the tray (the fruit, a muffin, cheese and crackers, yogurt off the “breakfast” tray), I often find that is plenty of food for a 24-ish hour period.
posted by AnnaRat at 8:56 PM on October 22, 2022
Between a big meal at the airport before departure, a meal at the stopover and some snacks I’ve brought along or lighter parts of the meal which in this case could be managed standing or without the tray (the fruit, a muffin, cheese and crackers, yogurt off the “breakfast” tray), I often find that is plenty of food for a 24-ish hour period.
posted by AnnaRat at 8:56 PM on October 22, 2022
Please don't try to give the flight attendant your used meal tray when the service is happening, as was suggested upthread. They don't have room for a dirty tray in their clean cart.
posted by Wet Hen at 6:02 PM on October 23, 2022
posted by Wet Hen at 6:02 PM on October 23, 2022
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This guide can be a starting point to availability but you really need to talk to the airline and see what they can do.
Plan B would be to make friends with a flight attendant that can possibly help. They could hold your meal until your daughter is taking a nap. Or, in one case that happened to my wife, one was willing to hold the baby for a few minutes while she scarfed down her food.
posted by JoeZydeco at 1:41 PM on October 21, 2022 [1 favorite]