Need Cleaning Service for grossness and declutter: ASAP [Seattle/Tacoma]
October 20, 2022 5:14 PM   Subscribe

The other party in a romantic breakup gone bad decided to give me a giant middle finger by trashing the house we previously shared while occupying it alone for a brief period. I need a specialized cleaning service as soon as humanly possible. There are extra difficulty filters, around grossness, sorting of trash from items, distance/method of payment, and expense. Please help!

Metafilter, you are my only hope on this one.

I need this cleaning service to take care of gross things, ranging from used condoms thrown on the floor to food items left to collect mold. I need them to be willing to sort floor trash from items to be saved, and then box or put away the savable items. I need them to take direction from a person over the phone (me!), and would prefer to pay them via Venmo. I need them to be discreet - I don't want to ever see photos of this hellscape on any social media. And I need this to be as inexpensive as possible under the circumstances, because naturally this hell-breakup is absolutely doing a number on my overall finances as well.

Any recommendations, especially from anyone you have personally used, would be deeply and gratefully appreciated. Bonus points for folks that will come out speedily to look at situations to give quotes.
posted by corb to Home & Garden (9 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Oh, corb, I'm so sorry this happened.

Two suggestions:

I have not personally used them, but I know someone who used a ServiceMaster in the San Francisco Bay Area for some fairly concerning residential mold and other kind of gross stuff. If you search for servicemaster here at MetaFilter you'll find other answers recommending them for things like cleaning backed up sewage out of flooded basements and cleaning up a relative's home that had lots of animal waste, so it really seems like a good place to start. One thing you might want to be aware of: the company has a Christian approach, and it's hard to know exactly how that manifests, but one thing that seems to come up in searches is a respect for the dignity of all customers and all workers ... which might translate into greater trustworthiness and discretion.

The other suggestion is to please MeMail The Wrong Kind of Cheese. They are the BEST at dealing with decluttering situations (I'm sure you've seen them in lots of AskMe threads), and they can probably give you some recommended people to call in Seattle. Even if those specific people can't do the job you need, there's an excellent chance that they'll know who CAN, and who's good and discrete.

I'm so sorry you're left to deal with this, and I hope some of these folks can help take care of things for you.

Many hugs if you'd like them.
posted by kristi at 5:43 PM on October 20, 2022 [4 favorites]


Don't have a specific recommendation, but there are companies that handle cleanup of crime scenes (like Steri-Clean); I expect they'd meet most of your specifications.

Sorry this has happened to you. It sounds just awful.
posted by praemunire at 6:02 PM on October 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


Whatever happens, if handling of human bodily fluids is going to be involved, you absolutely 100% must be upfront about this before someone agrees to come over. Really really really.
posted by Ardnamurchan at 6:03 PM on October 20, 2022 [9 favorites]


So sorry corb.

I have no ideas, but hope the other ideas above will work out.
posted by Windopaene at 8:39 PM on October 20, 2022


Best answer: Thanks for the nod, Kristi.

Corb, I'm really sorry about your situation, both interpersonal and space-wise. It isn't kind or fair, and I wish you didn't have to deal with this at all and could fast-forward to the days when this will just be a faded memory. {Hugs}

In general, depending on the level of "gross things," this might not immediately be a job for a professional organizer until after the remediation of things like the used condoms and the mold, depending on how complicated the environmental circumstances are and how long it's been this way. (It really depends on the organizer's practice; those who specialize in working with clients with hoarding disorders are more likely to have teams able to handle that.) Depending on how much of your personal items were left behind, it might be possible to get those removed and shipped first, and then engage in cleanup, but again, however much you can tell a PO about the situation will help you design a plan.

Dealing with sorting, collecting, and if applicable, shipping the remaining items definitely would be something a PO would handle. Professional organizers can often act as project managers to arrange for other services (like mold remediation, cleanup, repairs so you can get your security deposit back), so that's where I'd have you start. If you left clothing, furniture, and important papers, the whole situation will be different from having left a few favorite paintings and the mail that's arrived since you departed.

As for distance and phone guidance/direction, I don't see that as an impediment with regard to payment, but you would have to have a way to legally and safely grant access to anyone working in your space. (Re: Venmo, that might be trickier; you don't have to have a credit card, as pretty much every service provider in my field would take a check, but not everyone takes apps, or takes all of them. I've been doing this for almost 21 years, but never accepted anything but checks or cash until the pandemic, when I started more virtual work, but I still don't accept Venmo.)

Depending on the actual situation, remediation services (including ServiceMaster, Steri-Clean) can handle cleanup, but it's not entirely clear how serious and long-standing the problem is; I wouldn't be surprised if this issue is not as problematic (by my profession's standards) as you might suppose. If you're at a distance from the home, I'm not sure how much information you can give to a service provider. Do you have photos? Have you seen the space, or are you hearing it from a landlord/real estate person? (Might there be someone from a leasing office, or a neighbor or friend who might be able to grant access, share photos/video, etc.)

As for confidentiality, no NAPO professional organizer would ever share photos of any client's space without a signed release. That's why I believe it's important to only work with someone who is a member of a professional association that operates by a code of ethics (e.g., NAPO or our sister organization, the Institute for Challenging Disorganization).

I'd start by calling a professional organizer in the Seattle/Tacoma area who normally specializes in working with people with hoarding disorders, even though that's not what this situation is. However, these colleagues tend to have more experience working in spaces with difficult household hygiene issues, and they'll be able to guide you with regard to process and recommendations for any essential outside services.

Basically, without talking to you (and I get that time is of the essence), I don't know if this is purely a cleanup job with a pack & ship element, or an organizing and remediation project, but one of my colleagues should be able to offer guidance.

FYI, we get a LOT of hoax emails and calls from people claiming to be potential clients, with all sorts of weird reasons why they can't work with us in person, and it's always a way to scam us out of money. So, whomever you contact, tell them you're I referred you, that you understand that your situation is not one of a hoarding disorder, but that I thought they'd have the best guidance regarding how to handle situation where a space where you previously resided was malevolently and poorly cared for in your absence. Not everyone in the industry knows me, but even if they didn't, they'd check out my name from the NAPO member side of things, maybe even call me to make sure you're kosher, and then feel safe proceeding.

Since you're in a hurry, I'm going to give you a few names to start for contacting. Unfortunately, most of my PNW colleagues are more in productivity than residential organizing, so I guessed on some zip codes, trying to find somewhere between Seattle & Tacoma with NAPO or ICD profiles including experience working with hoarding behavior (again, because they'll have the best resources).

Start with either:

1) Lauren Williams (She's a Certified Professional Organizer, like me) in Woodinville
Casual Uncluttering LLC

or

2) Denise Allen
Simplify Experts
(She's both a CPO® and a CPO-CD, which means she specializes in chronic disorganization, which can have some overlap with hoarding disorders). Denise is in Olympia, which Siri is telling me is farther away, but she's fabulous, a veteran in the field, and has a huge team. My guess is that even if it's too far from her and her team to have first-hand recommendations, she'll know whom to ask.

And, while you may have been dubious about crime scene cleanup, depending on what you tell my colleagues, a company that specializes in biohazard issues may be helpful. I checked the NAPO-Seattle chapter website to see if they had a biohazard business partner (as my nearest NAPO chapter does), but no luck. If you talk to one of my colleagues, describe your situation and ask if they think a PO, a cleaning service, or a biohazard service will be the best bet.

Again, I'm so very sorry you're going through this. But you are going through this, and will emerge on the other side.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 11:57 PM on October 20, 2022 [27 favorites]


Please google "biohazard cleaning" or "trauma cleaning" in your area. In my experience they are very kind and compassionate and you don't have to explain anything, really, except the nature of the mess. They will come and assess and give you an estimate and IT IS WORTH EVERY PENNY.

It is best if you can take a quick pass through and put some items aside (cabinet, etc) that have value - but you can also tell them to put all papers they find in this box, etc. They will do it. This is their expertise. The people I worked with - both the office and the on-site personnel - brought me to tears with their kindness.

And it was a bigger mess than you are describing.
posted by nkknkk at 5:25 AM on October 21, 2022 [2 favorites]


Adding: The discretion was amazing. They even wore regular clothes to come "visit" and changed to PPE on the premises. Even when they removed the debris, I'm confident that no one in the very large busy apartment building had a clue. Social media? Not a chance.
posted by nkknkk at 5:26 AM on October 21, 2022


I just want to say that while this mess probably feels absolutely degenerate to you, it sounds well within normal hoarding issues for many many people. There's a whole subreddit (r/neckbeardnests) and a massive tiktok/insta/youtube hoard-cleaning account (aurikatariina) showing hoard spaces where, um, tissues with human fluids and bottles of pee and moldy food and poopy toilets and all kinds of yurky biological stuff are just... some people's normal living conditions. All this to say that any professional cleaner worth their salt will simply wear gloves and not be particularly horrified by this, much less make a big deal of violating your privacy if you ask them not to post it online. Every hotel cleaner in the world has picked up some icky tissues, and every grocery store employee has handled moldy food.

And I bet you feel super ashamed to be embroiled in this mess but I just want to stress, this shame isn't yours. The other person did this. The shame is theirs. Not saying you need to share what happened and I too would want to be discreet. But you don't need to be ashamed.

All you did was believe someone's story about their character when they told you they were a good and kind person... and you did them the courtesy of believing it until they vividly proved you otherwise. They didn't come in saying "hey I'm the kind of person who will absolutely trash your home in gross ways if I'm mad at you." If they had told you that truth from day one, you wouldn't be here.

So you don't need to be ashamed for giving someone the benefit of the doubt that they would (checks notes) simply uphold the social contract and maintain a reasonably sanitary domicile and put their bodily fluids into the proper readily available receptacle. That's the rock bottom bare minimum and it's totally normal that you would expect that and be shocked and stunned when someone doesn't do it in such a ridiculously over the top way.

So I hope you know this, but I'll say it anyway: It's not you. It's him. Fuck that guy. Try to shrug off the shame and just power through this mess.

Maybe share a PayPal account in your profile, I bet a lot of people here would be happy to send you a few bucks to help out. I would.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:14 AM on October 24, 2022 [2 favorites]


(Note, I'm not saying you shouldn't disclose the nature of the mess to the cleaner beforehand - you should and I'm sure you will - they will want to wear good gloves and maybe a respirator or a suit etc - but it honestly won't be that big a deal to a professional cleaner! These same substances appear in non-malicious messes too.)
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:21 AM on October 24, 2022


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