Clinging to Euphoria
August 23, 2022 6:45 PM Subscribe
I just got some good news from my doctor, and feel like I dodged a bullet, almost-euphoric, and that life is filled with endless possibility. How can I hold onto this feeling, other than becoming completely bipolar or using cocaine, but more seriously how can I take advantage of this moment, retain it somehow, as a tool for making needed changes in my life?
I was so relieved I burst into tears at the stop sign on the way home.
I was so relieved I burst into tears at the stop sign on the way home.
Start a little ritual. Make a special food, light a brand-new candle, put on your most comfortable clothing. Focus on this feeling and try to make an association between it and your ritual. When you need that feeling again, engage in the ritual.
Also, a huge congratulations to you.
posted by mezzanayne at 7:22 PM on August 23, 2022 [6 favorites]
Also, a huge congratulations to you.
posted by mezzanayne at 7:22 PM on August 23, 2022 [6 favorites]
It is great to experience something like this but attempting to cling to positive emotions leads to suffering in exactly the same way that involuntarily clinging to negative emotions does. (A lot of people dwell on past times when they were happy, but for most of them this habit is not a source of present happiness.) A better approach would be to convert your current emotion into a burst of activation energy to start a good new habit you've been meaning to get the motivation for, or to quit a bad one. That way, each time you do the new good thing, you'll be reminded of how good it felt to start, without any need to cling.
posted by derrinyet at 7:31 PM on August 23, 2022 [13 favorites]
posted by derrinyet at 7:31 PM on August 23, 2022 [13 favorites]
This may just be me, but I have an "Inspirational" Playlist on my phone. Each of the songs "speak to me" on some level, and in your case I would think you'd want to consider upbeat lyrics related to potential, gratitude, energy, those who support you and how you may support and encourage others. And of course, over time the playlist may grow or change as you yourself do. Just a thought.
posted by forthright at 8:00 PM on August 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by forthright at 8:00 PM on August 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
The moments of happiness—not the sense of well-being,
Fruition, fulfilment, security or affecton,
Or even a very good dinner, but the sudden illumination—
We had the experience but missed the meaning,
And approach to the meaning restores the experience
In a different form, beyond any meaning
We can assign to happiness. I have said before
That the past experience revived in the meaning
Is not the experience of one life only
But of many generations—not forgetting
Something that is probably quite ineffable.
--- TS Eliot, The Dry Salvages
posted by SPrintF at 8:20 PM on August 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
Fruition, fulfilment, security or affecton,
Or even a very good dinner, but the sudden illumination—
We had the experience but missed the meaning,
And approach to the meaning restores the experience
In a different form, beyond any meaning
We can assign to happiness. I have said before
That the past experience revived in the meaning
Is not the experience of one life only
But of many generations—not forgetting
Something that is probably quite ineffable.
--- TS Eliot, The Dry Salvages
posted by SPrintF at 8:20 PM on August 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
As someone who's been through several amounts of hell and then being saved at the last moment by kind people or kind circumstances or just good fortune -- I think the important thing is to understand that you can't hang onto this feeling, but instead it is better to do some self-care and do some nice celebrating for yourself, either by yourself or with friends. Take stock and gratitude of what you have, and then think about what you would like to do now that the other path is no longer necessary to be in. And then keep going forward! The culmination of a lot of small, beautiful things is a type of euphoria in itself, although it isn't something you may recognize, because it's doled out over time in much smaller amounts.
When you encounter a rough time or path in the future, remind yourself that you've been through worse and you will also find another way as well, and have more tools from the last time than you did the first time.
posted by yueliang at 8:48 PM on August 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
When you encounter a rough time or path in the future, remind yourself that you've been through worse and you will also find another way as well, and have more tools from the last time than you did the first time.
posted by yueliang at 8:48 PM on August 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Also, you can just tap into your inner banana seal and enjoy that! Just be present and know you're good, until the next thing comes along.
posted by yueliang at 8:51 PM on August 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by yueliang at 8:51 PM on August 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
Not sure about hanging onto the euphoric feeling (congratulations!!!) but you can for sure use this moment as a way to commit to your values, needs, and aspirations. Maybe get a memento mori that resonates for you? Or, frame and display pictures of loved ones whose time has passed. They’ll evoke warm feelings and remind you of what those people loved about you, what you loved about them, what they inspired, and that, well there’s only so much time, we should use it wisely if we can.
posted by cotton dress sock at 9:22 PM on August 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by cotton dress sock at 9:22 PM on August 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I don't think you can hold on to it, but you can pay attention, enjoy it, revel in it, write about it, and remember it.
posted by theora55 at 9:34 PM on August 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by theora55 at 9:34 PM on August 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
So glad you had good news!
I've realised that most of my pain is as a result of trying to control that which is not in my control.
Trying to hang onto intense happiness would be an example. It's doomed to failure (my nervous system just doesn't work like that) and then the inevitable return of not-happy feelings is framed as failure, and sends me into a negative spiral.
What helps me is to learn to trust myself. To trust that my emotions come in waves, and if I'm down right now, will be OK again soon.
And to trust that I can cope with being not-OK.
It also helps me to notice the small, every day moments of happiness that happen without my having to be responsible for creating them.
Small moments of beauty and kindness and connection that happen every day, even when I'm in my worst place emotionally.
When I'm at my happiest, my euphoric feelings come from a realisation that I'm connected to life. That I'm a living, feeling, creative creature in a web of other organisms, animals, plants, humans, all of us affecting one another and depending on one another. When I'm at my lowest, I draw strength from knowing that this is still true, even if I can't feel it in that moment.
I hope that helps.
posted by Zumbador at 9:36 PM on August 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
I've realised that most of my pain is as a result of trying to control that which is not in my control.
Trying to hang onto intense happiness would be an example. It's doomed to failure (my nervous system just doesn't work like that) and then the inevitable return of not-happy feelings is framed as failure, and sends me into a negative spiral.
What helps me is to learn to trust myself. To trust that my emotions come in waves, and if I'm down right now, will be OK again soon.
And to trust that I can cope with being not-OK.
It also helps me to notice the small, every day moments of happiness that happen without my having to be responsible for creating them.
Small moments of beauty and kindness and connection that happen every day, even when I'm in my worst place emotionally.
When I'm at my happiest, my euphoric feelings come from a realisation that I'm connected to life. That I'm a living, feeling, creative creature in a web of other organisms, animals, plants, humans, all of us affecting one another and depending on one another. When I'm at my lowest, I draw strength from knowing that this is still true, even if I can't feel it in that moment.
I hope that helps.
posted by Zumbador at 9:36 PM on August 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
Neurolinguistic programming has a concept called anchoring where you anchor a specific state to a trigger and then you can recall the state through the trigger.
posted by crunchy potato at 10:10 PM on August 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by crunchy potato at 10:10 PM on August 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
As others said, I don't think you can hang on to the feeling itself. But I have two ideas for you, based on my own experience:
You can think about what this means to you and how this changes your outlook on life. Try to pin that down with a personal manifesto (google for examples). Now read that every Sunday to remind yourself.
You can also buy/make/commission a commemorative piece of jewelry. Maybe you can think of a symbol/color that represents what you are feeling. Wear that and touch it when you need a reminder.
And last but not least, you can make a few decisions now that you promise yourself to follow through on once the feeling fades. Be mindful that your euphoric self might overestimate your everyday energy and/or willingness to make big changes. Try to stick with decisions you know are long overdue and are attainable.
All the best!
posted by Fallbala at 5:22 AM on August 24, 2022
You can think about what this means to you and how this changes your outlook on life. Try to pin that down with a personal manifesto (google for examples). Now read that every Sunday to remind yourself.
You can also buy/make/commission a commemorative piece of jewelry. Maybe you can think of a symbol/color that represents what you are feeling. Wear that and touch it when you need a reminder.
And last but not least, you can make a few decisions now that you promise yourself to follow through on once the feeling fades. Be mindful that your euphoric self might overestimate your everyday energy and/or willingness to make big changes. Try to stick with decisions you know are long overdue and are attainable.
All the best!
posted by Fallbala at 5:22 AM on August 24, 2022
Had this recently with a family member - congratulations for your good news.
Find a way to recognize this feeling that you can recall over time that's meaningful to you, and in the words of Warren Zevon "enjoy every sandwich."
posted by allthethings at 7:57 AM on August 24, 2022
Find a way to recognize this feeling that you can recall over time that's meaningful to you, and in the words of Warren Zevon "enjoy every sandwich."
posted by allthethings at 7:57 AM on August 24, 2022
Response by poster: I'm bound to offend someone somewhere by saying this, but as someone wrongly diagnosed with bipolar disorder years ago and knowing real people that endure both this and the medications, please don't say "other than becoming completely bipolar ".
I apologize for that. I can see my mood range, subjectively, widening and am concerned that possibly bipolarity might be on the menu.
posted by mecran01 at 8:04 AM on August 24, 2022
I apologize for that. I can see my mood range, subjectively, widening and am concerned that possibly bipolarity might be on the menu.
posted by mecran01 at 8:04 AM on August 24, 2022
I listen to a lot of meditation podcasts and recently came across with this nugget:
The purpose of joy / euphoria / intense meditation experience is not to extended it into a permanent state, as though that is our “real self”. The purpose of the transcendental is to transform you, so that your fundamental view of yourself and your daily experience is forever changed from then on. You now have a knowledge that you didn’t before.
Your life will be different from here on in. Sometimes you’ll notice it, sometimes you won’t. But you’re not the same person now; you’ve faced fear, you’ve experienced overwhelming joy and gratitude and you know now by experience how precious this opportunity of life is. THAT is the gift. Emotions change with time, nothing is permanent, but the wisdom stays.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 11:05 AM on August 24, 2022 [4 favorites]
The purpose of joy / euphoria / intense meditation experience is not to extended it into a permanent state, as though that is our “real self”. The purpose of the transcendental is to transform you, so that your fundamental view of yourself and your daily experience is forever changed from then on. You now have a knowledge that you didn’t before.
Your life will be different from here on in. Sometimes you’ll notice it, sometimes you won’t. But you’re not the same person now; you’ve faced fear, you’ve experienced overwhelming joy and gratitude and you know now by experience how precious this opportunity of life is. THAT is the gift. Emotions change with time, nothing is permanent, but the wisdom stays.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 11:05 AM on August 24, 2022 [4 favorites]
You can't completely hold onto it as others have said, but you can put post-its around your space or write yourself a note on your mirror or place an image on your phone or wear a piece of jewelry that triggers a reminder about that joy and relief, and in that way weave it a little bit into your everyday.
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 11:09 AM on August 24, 2022
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 11:09 AM on August 24, 2022
You won’t be able to hold onto this feeling but while it’s here dig into it—what does it change about your perception of the world? What is the difference between you before this news and you now? If you are able to keep hold of that reframe, while the feeling will fade you will retain an echo of the pleasure.
Many years ago now I was sick and as i started to get better i was intensely grateful for things that i had once viewed as annoying. Cooking dinner, for example: i had previously thought of as this miserable obligation of my body to stay alive. When i was sick i couldn’t cook dinner at all, and i wasn’t very hungry. Afterwards i realized it was a privilege to be able to drag myself off the couch and cook dinner. I’m not saying i always love cooking dinner these days, but i still approach it as a choice, a choice i GET to make, because i am well.
Look to the little things in your life that you take for granted, that’s where you might find some longevity for your happiness.
On preview, St peepsburg said this really well.
posted by you'rerightyou'rerightiknowyou'reright at 11:13 AM on August 24, 2022
Many years ago now I was sick and as i started to get better i was intensely grateful for things that i had once viewed as annoying. Cooking dinner, for example: i had previously thought of as this miserable obligation of my body to stay alive. When i was sick i couldn’t cook dinner at all, and i wasn’t very hungry. Afterwards i realized it was a privilege to be able to drag myself off the couch and cook dinner. I’m not saying i always love cooking dinner these days, but i still approach it as a choice, a choice i GET to make, because i am well.
Look to the little things in your life that you take for granted, that’s where you might find some longevity for your happiness.
On preview, St peepsburg said this really well.
posted by you'rerightyou'rerightiknowyou'reright at 11:13 AM on August 24, 2022
Oh also! When in the midst of the experience write a letter to your future self: I know you may have lost touch with this experience right now, but I am here in it right now and I can tell you that it is true. I feel […] I know […] Life is […] I wrote one of those after a transcendental shift and it helped me through the ensuing years till it was experienced again; to come back and read my own words in my handwriting written from that state was my connection to it.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 2:01 PM on August 24, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by St. Peepsburg at 2:01 PM on August 24, 2022 [4 favorites]
Congratulations! Reading this thread has been really enjoyable because it's reminded me that there ARE these good moments in life.
Sometimes when I've had good news, something has been worked out or a problem solved, I celebrate by giving back in some way. I'll go to my local food bank's site and make a little money donation, or just do something nice for someone. It prolongs that sense of a happy occasion.
posted by BibiRose at 7:56 AM on August 25, 2022 [1 favorite]
Sometimes when I've had good news, something has been worked out or a problem solved, I celebrate by giving back in some way. I'll go to my local food bank's site and make a little money donation, or just do something nice for someone. It prolongs that sense of a happy occasion.
posted by BibiRose at 7:56 AM on August 25, 2022 [1 favorite]
« Older Why Did It Take So Long For The Recovery Email To... | easy but dramatic birthday cake ideas? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
I believe cultivating and concentrating on gratitude for the things that are good in any given moment help. But it's always a struggle.
posted by tiny frying pan at 6:49 PM on August 23, 2022 [5 favorites]