The Brady Bunch, but with pets
August 22, 2022 2:19 PM Subscribe
I've been dating a wonderful guy for a year, and would like to think about moving in together sometime in the upcoming year. The problem? We have 6 pets between us and I have a very small house. How do we even begin to think about making this work?
We each have a dog and 2 cats. My dog is almost 14 and a large breed, so realistically he may not be around for many more years to come. The 4 cats and the other dog (a 30 pound mix) are all around 7-9 years old. I live in a 1000 sq ft house that I own, he rents.
I am struggling to envision a scenario where we can move in together and a) not end up with four-legged hunger games and b) we aren't miserably cramped for space. I also have a cat allergy, so keeping my 2 requires a ton of cleaning and diligence in my part to keep me healthy.
We live in an urban area where houses are just not big, and we have no desire to move to the burbs. My house does have 2 bedrooms but otherwise is open concept with limited space in the bathrooms and laundry in a closet (where would I add litter boxes?!?). Another complicating factor - his dog has extreme anxiety and as of now cannot be crated or left alone at my house (he's mostly ok at his own house, albeit a little destructive). One of the cats is also diabetic and one has IBS, requiring individual special diets.
If you have been in a similar situation, I'd love to hear your tips for planning and making this work. I'd hate to take co-habitation off the table and I certainly don't expect either of us to get rid of a pet. Help!
We each have a dog and 2 cats. My dog is almost 14 and a large breed, so realistically he may not be around for many more years to come. The 4 cats and the other dog (a 30 pound mix) are all around 7-9 years old. I live in a 1000 sq ft house that I own, he rents.
I am struggling to envision a scenario where we can move in together and a) not end up with four-legged hunger games and b) we aren't miserably cramped for space. I also have a cat allergy, so keeping my 2 requires a ton of cleaning and diligence in my part to keep me healthy.
We live in an urban area where houses are just not big, and we have no desire to move to the burbs. My house does have 2 bedrooms but otherwise is open concept with limited space in the bathrooms and laundry in a closet (where would I add litter boxes?!?). Another complicating factor - his dog has extreme anxiety and as of now cannot be crated or left alone at my house (he's mostly ok at his own house, albeit a little destructive). One of the cats is also diabetic and one has IBS, requiring individual special diets.
If you have been in a similar situation, I'd love to hear your tips for planning and making this work. I'd hate to take co-habitation off the table and I certainly don't expect either of us to get rid of a pet. Help!
Something to keep in mind is your local animal ordinance. For example, seattle.gov says, "Our ordinance limitations are: No more than three small animals such as dogs and cats (unless your property is over 20,000 square feet)."
posted by SageTrail at 3:27 PM on August 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by SageTrail at 3:27 PM on August 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
I have one dog and four cats (well, actually none of them are mine, but I've lived with the people they belong to for nearly five years now.)
Our space is huge, because we are many - but honestly, unless the cats hate each other*, you should be able to manage this. It'll be tight, but not impossible. You're going to have basically a litter box per room though, which for some people could be a dealbreaker. I would designate one room for the anxious dog to have to himself if/when he needs it, and maybe start "getting it ready" by having your partner sleep there a couple of nights or leave some of his dirty laundry there, some of the dog's bedding, etc. The catwalk is a great idea, or even just cat trees so they can have levels instead of just sharing the floor.
*If the cats DO turn out to hate each other, you're in for a much wilder ride, and I would suggest getting emotionally ready to a) move to a larger place as soon as possible, or b) learn to love one another in secret like Romeo and Juliet.
posted by invincible summer at 4:01 PM on August 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
Our space is huge, because we are many - but honestly, unless the cats hate each other*, you should be able to manage this. It'll be tight, but not impossible. You're going to have basically a litter box per room though, which for some people could be a dealbreaker. I would designate one room for the anxious dog to have to himself if/when he needs it, and maybe start "getting it ready" by having your partner sleep there a couple of nights or leave some of his dirty laundry there, some of the dog's bedding, etc. The catwalk is a great idea, or even just cat trees so they can have levels instead of just sharing the floor.
*If the cats DO turn out to hate each other, you're in for a much wilder ride, and I would suggest getting emotionally ready to a) move to a larger place as soon as possible, or b) learn to love one another in secret like Romeo and Juliet.
posted by invincible summer at 4:01 PM on August 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
If you decide to move in together, get a pack of special towels or blankets you each put in your pet areas. Then swap them. Introducing pets (dogs and cats in particular) by scent well before any in-house meetings can help facilitate transition. Keep this up for as long as possible before move-in day.
Good luck!
posted by SaltySalticid at 4:55 PM on August 22, 2022
Good luck!
posted by SaltySalticid at 4:55 PM on August 22, 2022
This question would be much easier to answer with the pet tax :).
Consider working with a trainer / animal behavioral specialist now. It's probably a good idea to slowly introduce the idea of alternative litter boxes, RFID enabled feeders, and regular grooming/ brushing. Also if any pets sleep with their human, it might be worth considering whether or not any changes need to be made to that routine. It might be useful to find out in advance if Feliway works on your kitties.
You might also want to look at your outdoor space. Consider a catio (possibly with a litter box).
Indoors, you might have to get clever with litter box placement (e.g.)
posted by oceano at 9:49 PM on August 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
Consider working with a trainer / animal behavioral specialist now. It's probably a good idea to slowly introduce the idea of alternative litter boxes, RFID enabled feeders, and regular grooming/ brushing. Also if any pets sleep with their human, it might be worth considering whether or not any changes need to be made to that routine. It might be useful to find out in advance if Feliway works on your kitties.
You might also want to look at your outdoor space. Consider a catio (possibly with a litter box).
Indoors, you might have to get clever with litter box placement (e.g.)
posted by oceano at 9:49 PM on August 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
Consider a catio
We just ordered and installed a window enclosure with a tunnel to a ground-based enclosure for our cats from Habitat Haven. Our indoor/outdoor cats who previously insisted on getting outside at 5:30 am have so far been pretty content with 24 hour access to their new enclosure. A bonus for us is that there is a litterbox outside now.
It was a pricy outlay but when a piece got squished in transit the company immediately sent us a new one. All the components are well made, you get everything you need to put it together (though there are no explicit directions or video I could find). If you've got a space for an outdoor enclosure this could really help. Our cats are suddenly no longer bugging us at dinner time because they're too busy hanging out in the catio*. My one suggestion is try to avoid pinch points where one can can prevent another access. Our two sometimes mess with each other by hogging the tunnel.
*no idea why this is- they had the entire neighborhood to roam in before. Maybe because it's very secure feeling. Or because it's new.
posted by oneirodynia at 4:31 PM on August 23, 2022
We just ordered and installed a window enclosure with a tunnel to a ground-based enclosure for our cats from Habitat Haven. Our indoor/outdoor cats who previously insisted on getting outside at 5:30 am have so far been pretty content with 24 hour access to their new enclosure. A bonus for us is that there is a litterbox outside now.
It was a pricy outlay but when a piece got squished in transit the company immediately sent us a new one. All the components are well made, you get everything you need to put it together (though there are no explicit directions or video I could find). If you've got a space for an outdoor enclosure this could really help. Our cats are suddenly no longer bugging us at dinner time because they're too busy hanging out in the catio*. My one suggestion is try to avoid pinch points where one can can prevent another access. Our two sometimes mess with each other by hogging the tunnel.
*no idea why this is- they had the entire neighborhood to roam in before. Maybe because it's very secure feeling. Or because it's new.
posted by oneirodynia at 4:31 PM on August 23, 2022
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Create some "catwalks" - high up shelves on the walls, above the height the dogs can reach/jump to, so the cats have safe places to hang out.
Have a couple of closed-off rooms with cat doors, so the cats can get in and not the dog. Keep cat food and cat litter in those rooms so the cats feel safe accessing them. Install more doors if needed, or baby gates that the dogs can't get over but the cats can scoot under (most cats only need about 4 inches clearance from the floor to scoot under a gate).
The advice is to have one litterbox per cat plus one, so you might need 5 litterboxes. Either way, you'll be scooping 5-10 cat poops a day.
I would suggest you do a trial move-in. Sublet one of your homes and move in-temporarily. That way if the animals are really still having a rough go after about 2 months, you still have 2 apartments to separate again.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 2:29 PM on August 22, 2022 [1 favorite]